Ubuhlobo bobaba-indodana bungaba nzima. Obaba nabantwana abanentshisekelo ehlukene kakhulu bangathola kunzima ukuhambisana nomunye. Ngezinye izikhathi abafana namadodana bazizwa bekhuphisana omunye nomunye. Ngezinye izikhathi ukuthambekela kwabo besilisa okungahambisani nokukhulumisana kuyancipha njengoba bobabili befuna ubuhlobo obuhle bendodana-baba kodwa akekho owaziyo ukuthi angahamba kanjani.
Njengoba ngibhekile ubuhlobo bami namadodana ami, ngacabanga ngobuhlobo bami nobaba, futhi ngabona obaba abaningi namadodana amaningi behlangana phakathi kweminyaka, ngiye ngabona ezinye izinto eziyinhloko ekwakheni nasekwakha ubudlelwane obuqinile babababa .
Ukwakha Ubuhlobo Obunamandla Nendodana Yakho
1. Qaphela ukuthi amadodana athonywe nguyise. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi siyazi noma cha, amadodana ethu afunda ngokuba indoda ikakhulukazi ngokubukela obaba. Ithonya likababa ekuthuthukiseni komntanakhe livame ukungabonakali kodwa kungokoqobo. Njengoba insizwa ibuka ubaba wayo ihlangana nomama wayo, ufunda ngenhlonipho (noma ukunganaki), ngendlela amadoda nabesifazane abahlanganyela ngayo nokuthi amadoda kufanele abhekane kanjani nokuxabana nokuhlukana. Njengoba ebuka ubaba wakhe ekhuluma namanye amadoda, uzofunda ukuthi amadoda akhuluma kanjani, ukuthi ahlobene kanjani nokuthi asebenzelana kanjani nezinkinga zesilisa.
Ukuqonda ukuthi ithonya likababa endodaneni yakhe alifani nalo lizosiza ubaba ukuba acabangisise ngokuphathelene nobuhlobo bakhe nendodana yakhe futhi athathe ubuhlobo obuningi ngokujulile.
2. Ukuthuthukisa izithakazelo ezivamile. Lesi yisifundo engazifunda kubaba wami. Ubaba wami wayengumphathi wezomthetho ngenkathi ngakhula iminyaka eminingi futhi wasebenza umsebenzi omkhulu wokushintshwa.
Ubaba wayengumuntu wendoda ngezindlela eziningi. Wadlala imidlalo eminingi futhi ujabulela isikhathi nabangani bakhe (lokho okuncane ayekuthola ngaphandle kokusebenza). Ngangineminyaka engaphezu kwengu-bookworm, ngingazihlanganisi futhi ngizonda ukudlala imidlalo nemfundo engokwenyama esikoleni. Wasebenza kanzima ukungenza ngibe nemidlalo futhi wangishukumisela ezintweni ezinjenge-Little League baseball, kodwa ngabe ngabe ngihlezi ngaphansi kwesihlahla sokufunda. Kodwa into eyodwa esasiyithandayo kokubili yayisemiseleni, futhi sathola ukuhlanganyela kwangempela emahlathini okwakhiwa itende noma ukupheka ngomlilo. Lapho siqala ukwandisa isikhathi sethu ndawonye ngaphandle futhi sichitha isikhathi ndawonye senza into esasiyithanda kokubili, ubuhlobo bethu bukhula.
3. Ungesabi ukudlala okuncane. Abafana bami, ikakhulukazi lapho bebancane, bathanda noma yini eyayikhathazekile futhi iyingozi. Ukuncintisana kancane emasangweni kwakubonakala sengathi kuhamba ngendlela ende. Kubonakala sengathi kubafana, lokhu okuncane kokuziphatha kwendle kuyisimo esihlangene. Kumele uzigcine uphephile, kodwa ungathatha izingozi ezincane kakhulu ezibalwe ukuze ubanikeze ulwazi olwengeziwe. Kamuva empilweni, lokhu kungase kuhumushe kwimisebenzi efana nokukhwela idwala, i-skateboarding, ne-hockey ye-ice.
4. Bamba iqhaza emisebenzini yendodana-indodana. Emndenini wethu, ngazithola ngisondelene namadodana ami njengoba sasijabulela umfana ekuhlaleni ndawonye.
Sasihlala ekamelweni, sihamba ngezinyawo, sisebenza emabheji afanele futhi sithuthuke futhi nje sithanda ukuhlangana ndawonye. Ngangingu-scoutmaster wamadodana ami amabili amancane ngakho-ke sinesikhathi sokubaluleka kanye nabo nabangane babo nami ngesonto lonke nangeviki elilodwa ngenyanga. Cabanga ngokubhalisa indodana yakho njenge-Boy Scout bese ubamba iqhaza njengomuntu ovolontiya wase-Scouter omdala. Lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho okuhlelekile kwakha amathuba okukhula eduze.
5. Thatha iphrojekthi enkulu. Kukhona into emilingo kumfana ngokubandakanyeka kokuthile okukhulu kunaye. Yingakho ngikujabulela ukusebenzisana namadodana ami kumaphrojekthi abo e-Eagle Scout.
Kodwa lezi zinhlelo ezinkulu, ezibonakalayo zingasiza ngempela ubaba nendodana yesibopho. Kubaba wami nami, kwakhiwa kabusha izinjini ezimbalwa futhi ukubeka izimoto emuva. Abanye abesilisa nabantwana bakhe ama-boxer planter, i-landscape engasemuva, ukwakha ikhefu leholide noma ukuphuma eholidini elikhulu lokuhamba ngebhayisikili. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yikuphi, okubaluleke kakhulu kunokusebenza komsebenzi okwenziwe ndawonye kungakha isibopho esizohlala isikhathi eside futhi senze izinkumbulo ozoxoxa ngazo ndawonye amashumi eminyaka.
6. Lalela amadodana akho. Amadoda abonakala ejwayelekile ukulwa nokuxhumana okuphumelelayo . Ngithola ukuthi ngihlale ngijwayele ukulalela imizuzu embalwa noma amabili ngaphambi kokuba nginqume ukuthi iyiphi inkinga futhi ngiyahamba ngokudala ukulungiswa. Kusukela emadodaneni ethu okuqala ukuqala ukuwalalela ngaphandle kokwahlulela futhi ngaphandle kokuzama ukulungisa izinto maduzane uzohamba ngendlela ende yokwakha ubuhlobo obuhlala njalo. Funa amathuba okuba namadodana akho uma ulalela nje. Ukudoba ndawonye, ukuya emcimbini wezemidlalo, noma ukuthatha uhambo lomgwaqo kungaba zonke izindlela eziphumelelayo zokudala imvelo yokulalela. Bese uzinikela ekusetshenziseni u-25% kuphela wesikhathi ukhuluma futhi uchithe konke okusemodi yokulalela esebenzayo.
7. Ungesabi inkulumo enkulu. Thatha isikhathi sokufundisa amadodana akho mayelana nobulili nobuhlobo. Ukuvuleka ukuba nalezi zingxoxo kuzosiza amadodana akho athuthukise isimo sengqondo esingcono mayelana nobulili namantombazane ngokujwayelekile. Ngokuqhubeka nokwanda kobulili kumaphephandaba, kukhompyutha nasekukhulumisaneni nabangani babo, uzothola ubudlelwane bakho obuqinile njengokuba kungenzeka ukugwema ukukhuluma ngalezi zihloko ezinzima bese ubavumela ukuba bathuthukise isimo sabo sengqondo ngocansi kanye nobuhlobo obuvela eminye imithombo engabelana ngamanani akho.
8. Gxila ezimweni ezinhle. Izingane zethu zihlaselwa ngemilayezo emibi nxazonke. Ukubuka nje ukuhweba kuthelevishini kuyodala ukungafaneleki emadodaneni ethu. Mhlawumbe ayinamandla kakhulu, angase abe ne-abs iphakethe noma ayibheke kahle njengabafana abakubonayo kuthelevishini. Njengabababa, kudingeka sibabambe benza izinto ngokufanele futhi baxoxe nathi . Kufanele senze izindlela ezinhle zokugubha okufeziwe. Ukondla ukuqiniswa kwazo njalo kuzokusiza ukwakha ubudlelwane bokuthembela futhi kunqobe lokhu okuqhubekayo kokungaboni ngaso sonke isikhathi ababhekana nazo zonke izinsuku.
9. Yenza eyodwa ngesikhathi esisodwa. Kudingeka sithole isikhathi sobudlelwane ngabanye nengane ngayinye. Ngakho qiniseka ukuthi uhlela omunye ngesikhathi esisodwa namadodana akho. Indodana yami encane ithanda ibhola, futhi sichitha amahora amaningi ukudubula ku-driveway kusihlwa emva kokudla kwasekuseni. Indodana yami endala yayithanda ukuphikisana esikoleni esiphakeme , ngakho ngafunda ngokwanele ukuba ngibe ngumahluleli wenkulumo-mpikiswano futhi ngaya naye ekukhulumeni nasekukhulumeni izimpikiswano emhlabeni wonke. Ezinye zezinkumbulo zethu ezihle kakhulu zazihlezi ndawonye esikoleni esiphakeme noma ebhasini eya ezenzweni nasezingxoxweni.
10. Gxila ezintweni ezingokomoya. Ukusiza indodana ukuba isungulwe ngokomoya indima ebalulekile kayise. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yini yakho yokholo, siza indodana yakho ukuba iqonde incazelo ejulile yokuphila. Uma ungenalo inkolelo yokholo, msize afinyelele ngaphakathi kwakhe futhi azame ukuba nombono ozomsiza ukuthi abuke izinto ezijulile kunaphezulu. Njengoba insizwa iqala ukuhambisana nemvelo, uNkulunkulu kanye naye, uyoba nesibonelo empilweni yakhe ezosisiza ukuba akhuthazelele ubunzima futhi aphumelele ngokwabo. Obaba bangaba nalezi zingxoxo namadodana abo ngendlela engokwemvelo njengoba babelana ngemicabango nemizwa mayelana nokuphila, ubuntu kanye nezinto ezingokomoya.
Ukugxila emadodaneni ethu, ukusebenzisa isikhathi esihle kanye nokukhuluma ngezifundo zokuphila, ezihlakazwe ngomthamo omkhulu wokulalela nokuthula, kuzosiza obaba namadodana ukuba bathuthukise ubudlelwane obuhle futhi obuhle futhi basize amadodana ethu abe nesimo sengqondo esingabavumela ukuba babe ngamadoda ngomqondo ocebile kakhulu walelo gama.