Iqiniso: AmaMama Anecala lokusekelwa kwezingane ezingakhokhelwa, Njalo
Inkulumo ethi "ubaba wokubulala" iyinto ejwayelekile, kodwa nokho ivame ukusetshenziswa kabi. Ngesikhathi igama elithi "ukubulala" livela kwezinye iziqondiso zokusekela izingane, hhayi bonke abazali abaye bawa ngemuva ekukhokheni izinkokhelo zezingane banqaba ngokuzithandela ukusekela izingane zabo ngokwezezimali. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukusekelwa kwengane okungakhokhelwa kungabhekiswa nakwabesifazane. Okubaluleke kakhulu kunamalebula ekubhekeleni nendaba yangempela.
Nakhu okumele ukwenze uma ubizwa ngokuthi "ubaba wokubulala" noma uma uzama ukubuyisela ukusekelwa kwengane okungakhokhiwe egameni lezingane zakho.
Uyini "u-Deadbeat Dad" noma "Ufile Umama"?
Uma umzali eyala enkantolo ukuba akhokhele ukusekelwa kwengane evamile, kodwa okwamanje ehluleka ukwenza njalo, ubizwa ngokuthi "umzali wokubulala." Leli gama le-pejorative lisetshenziselwa umthetho wangempela wezinye izifunda, futhi ngokuvamile akuqondwa kahle. Abazali abawa ngemuva kokusekelwa kwengane ngenxa yokulahlekelwa umsebenzi noma izimo ezingalindelekile akuzona "izifele." I-termbebeat yesi-term ngokuvamile igcinwe kulabo abanakho indlela yokukhokha kodwa abakhetha ukungayikhokhi. Abazali abafuna ukusekela izingane zabo, kodwa abavumelekile ukukhokha bangase bakwazi ukuthola ukulungiswa kwengane yokuguqulwa.
Ama-stereotypes
"Ukubulala abazali" kanye "nabazali bokufa" akufani. Akubona bonke abazali ababulalayo abababa, futhi akubona bonke abababa abangabonisi ukugcinwa ngokweqile ekusekelweni kwengane.
Eqinisweni, kunamama amaningi asele anikezwe ukuthi akhokhele ukusekelwa kwabantwana kodwa akwenzeki ukwenza kanjalo njalo njengoba ungabona kusuka ezikhundleni ezishicilela uhlu lwabazali babo abafuna ukufa kakhulu.
Kodwa, ngokulinganisa, kuyiqiniso ukuthi izinamba ezinkulu zamadoda ziyalwe ukukhokhela ukusekelwa kwabantwana kunabesifazane.
Ngakho-ke kuyacaca ukuthi, ngokubaluleka, abanye obaba babezophinde bawele emuva ekukhokheni izingane ukusekela kunomama. Kodwa-ke, umuntu akakwazi ukuhlola inkinga yokusekelwa kwengane engakhokhelwa ngaphandle kokuqaphela ukuthi kukhona kokubili amadoda nabesifazane abavumele ukusekelwa kwengane ukuthi bangakhokhiwe. Ngakho-ke ngenkathi leli ilebuli livame ukubizwa ngokuthi obaba, akuyona nje inkinga yamadoda.
Imiphumela
Ngomzamo wokunciphisa umthelela wokusekelwa kwengane ongakhokhelwa, uthi ukubeka imiphumela eminingi ngokumelene nabazali abawa ngemuva kokukhokha izingane, okufaka:
- Ukukhokhelwa ukukhokhelwa
- Ukwenqaba ukuvumela umzali ukuba athole ipasipoti esemthethweni
- Ukwamukela isinxephezelo sokungasebenzi
- Ukuqeda ukubuyiselwa kwemali yentela kahulumeni kanye / noma kahulumeni
- Ukuphoqelela isikhathi sejele
Thatha Isinyathelo Lapho Ukuhlolwa Kwengane Ukuhlola Ukuyeka Ukuza
Uma u-ex wakho okwamanje ebolekisa izingane zakho ukukhokha izinkokhelo zokusekela izingane, xhumana ne-Child Support Enforcement Office yangakini bese ufaka umbiko. Yilungele ukunikeza imininingwane mayelana nezinkokhelo ezingekho, kufaka phakathi izinsuku namanani edoli, kanye nanoma yiluphi ulwazi onalo mayelana nekheli lakho lokugcina elidumile.
Usizo lwabazali abakwazi ukukhokha
Abanye abazali abazitholayo emalini yokukhokhela imali nje abanakho imali yokukhokha izinkokhelo zokuxhasa izingane. Kwezinye izimo, izinkokhelo zingadingeka ukuthi zilungiswe ukuze zibonise imali yokuthola imali yomuntu ngamunye.
Kwezinye izimo, umzali udinga ukwesekwa kwengane kakhulu kangangokuba imali ngeke neze ikhokhwe ngokugcwele. Ukubhekana nalesi sikhathazo, ezinye izifunda seziqalile ukuhlinzeka ngezinhlelo zokunakekelwa kwabantwana lapho kunikezwa khona izinkokhelo ezithintekayo ezihambisana nokusekelwa kwengane ezingakhokhelwa ngenkathi umzali eqala ukukhokha emuva.
Isexwayiso Mayelana Nokusekelwa Kwabantwana Nokuvakashelwa
Abazali abaningi bakhungathekile futhi baqala ukuzibuza ukuthi kufanele yini benqabe ukuvakashelwa ukuze benze iphuzu. Noma kunjalo, enkantolo, ukusekelwa kwengane nokugcinwa kwengane kukhona izinkinga ezimbili ezihlukene. Ngombono womthetho, umzali okhokhela izinkokhelo zokusekela izingane usenelungelo lokuvakashela nengane.
Ngakho-ke, noma yimuphi umzali ohluphekile ngenxa yokukhokha izinkokhelo zezingane kufanele athathe izinyathelo ezichazwe ngenhla esikhundleni sokuvimbela ukuhambela. Ukwenqaba ukuvumela ingane yakho ukuba ivakashele nomzali wakho womzali ngoba inakekelwa yinkampani engakhokhiwe ingaphazamisa ukuma kwakho okuhle nezinkantolo.