Ngezinye izikhathi njengoba ngivakashela abanye babababa abangashadile, ngithola umbono wezinselele ababhekana nazo ekukhuliseni izingane kuphela. Kodwa angisakwazi ukuqonda inselele oyedwa oyedwa namadodakazi abhekene nazo.
Ungangitholi ngephutha - ngiyathandaza ngokuphelele amadodakazi ami amabili. Baye, ikakhulukazi ngenxa yethonya lomama wabo, baba abesifazane abakhulile abanamandla.
Kodwa ngiyakhathazeka ukucabanga ukuthi bangase bavele kanjani uma bengingumzali wabo oyedwa.
Ngakho-ke, bababa abangashadile, ngithemba ukuthi ungase ngizizwe ngikuthandayo ngokuthatha inselele yokukhulisa indodakazi yedwa. Lapho uzama ukuqonda izihluthulelo zokuphumelela ekukhuliseni indodakazi njengobaba ongashadile, ngaphendukela kubangane bami nakwabaziyo abenze kahle.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uhlukanisile noma uhlukanisiwe nomzali wokulondeka, noma ngabe ungumzali ongumfelokazi, izinselele zifana kakhulu. Ngakho-ke, unikezwe iseluleko kulabo abaye bahamba ngezicathulo zakho, nansi iziphakamiso zokubhekana nalo msebenzi obalulekile ngempumelelo.
Ungayi yedwa. Abaningi babababa engakhuluma nabo bakhuluma ngokubaluleka komcebisi wesifazane empilweni yamadodakazi abo. Kwababa abathile, ugogo, ugogo noma elinye ilunga lomndeni lingathatha lelo daba. Kwabanye, umama womngane wakhe uneminyaka yobudala. Kwabanye, umeluleki angase abe umholi wesonto osemusha, umholi we-scout girl noma umqeqeshi wezemidlalo.
Kodwa ukuthola umlingisi oqinile futhi onamandla okusibonelo kubalulekile ekuphumeleleni kwentombazane yakho ekukhuleni. Ukusiza indodakazi yakho ukuba ixhumane nalomeluleki isinyathelo osidingayo.
Khulumisana. Amadoda amaningi athambekele ekuthatheni ukucabanga okumele "Ngikufanele Ngiyibeke" empilweni yabo nasebudlelwaneni babo. Sivame ukulalela isikhathi eside ngokwanele ukuze sibone inkinga, bese sisekho esixazululweni.
Amadodakazi ethu avame ukufuna ukuthi silungise izindaba zabo; bangathanda ukulalela ukuqonda futhi bavumele bafunde ukusebenza izixazululo zethu. Ukugcina imigqa yokuxhumana ivulekile kudinga isikhathi, ukubekezela nokuzimisela ukwenza kuqala.
Mfundise ukuba abe-solver problem. Ngezinye izikhathi amadodakazi ethu adinga ukuqeqeshwa okuncane ngokuxazulula izinkinga. Ukuhlala naye futhi kumsize acabange ngendaba, ukuthuthukisa ezinye izindlela futhi afike esiphethweni kufinyelela kuba intuitive kwabanye obaba. Kodwa kubalulekile ukumfundisa indlela, hhayi ukuthembela kithi ukuthola izixazululo. Ukumsiza ukuba athuthukise amakhono amakhono okuxazulula izinkinga kuyomsiza kahle impilo yakhe yonke.
Ungasindisi noma uvikele ngaphezulu. Ngiyazi ngokwenzeka kimi kanye namadodakazi ami ukuthi anginaso inkinga nhlobo ukuthi nginguye omhlophe umkhonto wokugibela eshaja lami ukuze ngimkhulule. Kwakungelula kimi ukufunda ukuvumela amadodakazi ami ukuba alwe nezixazululo nezinkinga zempilo. Uma uvikeleka ngokweqile, indodakazi yakho izovukela noma ibe yinkinga, futhi ayikho yale miiphumela enhle. Vumela izingozi ezithile ezincane futhi uzofunda ukuzethemba njengoba ephumelela.
Zibandakanye empilweni yakhe. Ngicabanga ukuthi ngokuvamile kulula ukuba obaba bahileleke empilweni yamadodana abo kunokuba kwenzeke ezweni lomalokazana.
Kodwa njengobaba ongashadile, indodakazi yakho idinga ukuzwa ukusekelwa kwakho. Yiya emincintiswaneni yakhe yezemidlalo, njengoba nje ungathanda namadodana akho. Thatha ukuyothenga ngezikhathi ezithile. Yiba eduze kwendlu uma enabangane bakhe nxazonke. Yenza amathuba okuba uhlangane, futhi ubuhlobo bakho buyokhula.
Msize avele abafana nokuphola. Ngezinye izikhathi ukusiza indodakazi yakho ngokuguqula ukukhulelwa ekukhuleni kungaba yinkinga enkulu yomzwelo oyedwa. Obaba abaphumelelayo basikisela ukuba baphume phambili futhi bathembeke ngalezi zinkinga. Msize aqonde ukuthi kungani ungesabi kakhulu ngokukhulisa ubudlelwane bakhe namadoda noma ngokumsiza ukuthi aqonde ukuthi kwenzekani emzimbeni wakhe, imizwelo namahomoni.
Futhi uqaphele ukuthi ezinye izinto zizoba nzima. Ukuthembela kumeluleki wakho omethembayo wesifazane kwezinye zezinkinga kuzoba usizo. Iningi lezinsizwa nezinsizwa ezincane ezinobungane obuhle beqembu nabesifazane bobabili zivame ukuba zilungele isikhathi lapho amantombazane nentombazane bezoqala ukuhlangana, ngakho-ke bakha amanye alawo maqembu emgwaqweni endleleni.
Abazali abangashadile, ngiyazi ukuthi kungadala ukukhulisa indodakazi. Kodwa kungenziwa. Futhi uma uzwela emadodakazini akho futhi usitshala isikhathi ebuhlotsheni bakho, uzothola ukwaneliseka okukhulu ekukhuliseni indodakazi enhle.