Ukuhlukumeza ekhaya nodlame kungathinta noma ubani
Udlame lwasekhaya olusha lubudlova noma ukwesatshiswa kobudlova kumlingani othandana noma ilungu lomndeni osemusha. Usongo lungabandakanya udlame lomzimba, ukuhlukunyezwa ngokobulili, noma usongo lomunye. Intsha ingabhekana nodlame lwasemakhaya oluvela kulungu lomndeni noma othile othandana naye.
Ukuhlukunyezwa komndeni kwenzeka emindenini ehola imali ephezulu, imindeni engenayo imali, ubuhlobo bomlingani, nobuhlobo obuqondile.
Amadoda nabesifazane bangaphathwa kabi, futhi bobabili abesilisa nabesifazane bangaba ngabahlukumezi. Udlame lwasekhaya lungenzeka kunoma ubani.
Ebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezayo, kuvele kube umjikelezo wobudlova. Ngenxa yokuthi umjikelezo ubikezela, kubalulekile ukuthi ingane yakho ikwazi ukuthi yini okufanele ibuke futhi ikwazi ukubona umjikelezo. Uma ingane yakho ibona leli phethini ebuhlotsheni bayo, kuyisibonakaliso sokuthi ubuhlobo buhlukumezayo.
Mayelana ne-Cycle of Abuse
Umjikelezo wokuhlukunyezwa ungase ubheke umehluko uma sikhuluma ngokuhlukunyezwa phakathi kwelungu lomndeni kanye nentsha, noma isithakazelo sothando kanye nentsha . Esimweni somndeni, umjikelezo wokuhlukumeza uzofana, kepha kungenzeka ukuthi uqhubeka isikhathi eside, ukuthi "akukho ukuqala." Futhi umjikelezo ungase ufike ngokushesha (imizuzu noma amahora) ngakho kunzima ukubona izigaba.
Esimweni sokuthandana noma sokuphola, kunesikhathi lapho ubuhlobo buqala nje.
Ngalesi siqalo sobudlelwane, umlingani othandana naye angabonakala ephelele. Kunezincomo, izipho, uthando, angase abonakale njengomuntu omuhle ukuba abe naye. Khona-ke, izinkinga ziqala.
I-Cycle
Qaphela: Lo mjikelezo ungenziwa nongowesifazane njengomhlukumezi nendoda njengokuhlukunyezwa, noma phakathi kwabesifazane ababili noma amadoda amabili.
Izimemezelo ezisetshenziselwa zikhona kalula zokufunda, hhayi ngoba umjikelezo awunakwenzeka phakathi kwamanye amadoda.
Isigaba sokwakhiwa kwamandla:
- Umhlukumezi uzoqala ukuthukuthela futhi akhethe ukulwa. Kungase kubonakale sengathi izimpi zingaphezu kwezinkinga ezincane. Lokhu kungenza ingane izwe sengathi kufanele iqaphele lokho akushoyo noma akwenzayo, nokuthi kufanele amjabulise umhlukumezi ukuze agweme ukulwa.
- Umhlukumezi angase aqale ukusebenzisa izidakamizwa noma utshwala ngalesi sikhathi noma aqhubeke nokusebenzisa izidakamizwa ozikhethelayo.
- Umhlukumezi uyoba nomona ngobuhlobo obunye obusencane futhi aqale ukumcindezela ukuba angachithi isikhathi nabanye abantu. Ekuqaleni, lokhu kungase kube nomuzwa wokuthi umhlukumezi "ungumvikeli" esikhundleni sokulawula.
- Umhlukumezi angase aqale ukugxeka, ukuhlambalaza noma ngisho nokuhlukumeza ngokomzimba ingane. Umhlukumezi angase azame ukwenza ingane ukuthi izwe sengathi iyaphambuka, futhi ingase ithi amanga ngokuziphatha kwakhe noma izenzakalo ezedlule.
Inkinga / Ukuqhuma:
- Ukuhlukunyezwa kwenzeka. Kungenzeka kube ubudlova emzimbeni, lapho i-teen ishaywa khona, ishaywa, igxotshwa, iphoqelelwe noma ihlaselwe ngenye indlela. Kungaba ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi, lapho ingane ethinteka ngokocansi noma iphoqelelwe ukwenza isenzo socansi nomhlukumezi. Kungase kube ukuhlukunyezwa ngamazwi noma ngokomzwelo lapho ingane isongelwa khona, isetshenziswe, isatshiswa, noma ishaywe ngamagama nganoma iyiphi indlela ezwa ihlambalaza. Izinto zingase ziphulwe, noma izilwane zihlukumezwe ukuze zisongele ingane.
- Intombazane iyayethusa, ididekile, noma "ishaqeka." Angase azame ukuzivikela noma angazama ukubalekela umhlukumezi. Angase azame ukuqeda ubuhlobo futhi agweme umhlukumezi.
Isigaba se-Honeymoon:
- Umhlukumezi uxolisa ngenxa yezenzo zakhe, futhi angase athembise ukuthi angeke aphinde aphinde ayenze. Angase futhi axolise kodwa asole ingane yakhe ngezenzo zakhe. Ungase futhi asole ukuhlukunyezwa ekucindezelekeni, izidakamizwa, utshwala noma ezinye izinto. Intombazane ingase izwe inesibopho sokuqhuma futhi ibeke icala. Angase abone ukuxolisa kwakhe njengokuzimisela ukushintsha.
- Umhlukumezi angase athenge izipho kumfana, noma amkhiphe futhi asebenzise imali kuye.
- Uzoba nomusa nothando. Ingane izogxila kulezi zikhathi ezinhle njengesizathu sokuhlala lapho inkinga noma ukuqhuma kwenzeka futhi.
- Kungenzeka ngisho nokuya ukweluleka ukuze azame "ukuyikhipha" nentsha. Angase abone lokhu njengamandla akhe okushintsha "umhlukumezi ngcono.
Intombazane ehlukumezekile ingase izwe ubuhlungu, isongelwe futhi isetshenziswe yizehlakalo futhi ihlukane nobuhlobo. Angase abe nomuzwa wokuthi lolu hlobo lwezinyanga luyisibonakaliso sokuthi angashintsha. Ngaphandle kokuba aqaphele ukuthi ubuhlobo buhlukumezekile futhi wazi ukuthi ufanelwe kangcono, angabambelela kulo mjikelezo wobudlova nokuhlukunyezwa.
Lo mjikelezo kungenzeka ungabonakali ngokufanayo esifundweni ngasinye, futhi ungase ungaboni okufanayo njalo. Eminye ubudlelwane, lo mjikelezo ungase ufike ezinyangeni ezingaphezu kweminye noma ngisho neminyaka, mhlawumbe ukwenze kube nzima ukuqaphela. Ngokuvamile, ubuhlobo obude buhlala, ngokuphindaphindiwe lo mjikelezo kwenzeka, futhi umfishane umjikelezo uba. Lo mjikelezo ungaba khona emaminithini ambalwa, ikakhulukazi uma ukuxhashazwa sekuqhubeka isikhathi esithile.
Lokho Abazali Abadinga Ukukwazi Ngesikhathi Sokudlwengula Kwabasebasha
Uma njengomzali uqaphela lo mjikelezo ekhaya lakho noma ebuhlotsheni bakho bomshado, kubalulekile ukuthi ungenele ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka. Xoxa ngendaba nengane yakho bese uveza ukukhathazeka kwakho. Ingane yakho ingase izwe ukuzivikela futhi inqabe ukubona ukuthi kwenzekani. Funa iseluleko someluleki noma inhlangano yakini yodlame lwasekhaya. I-National Domestic Violence Hotline izokwazi ukukudlulisela enhlanganweni yakho yasendaweni. Uma lobudlova kwenzeka ekhaya noma nelinye ilunga lomndeni, ungaxhumana no-hotline efanayo noma inhlangano yobudlova basekhaya ukuze uthole usizo. Udlame lwasekhaya olwenzeka ekhaya phakathi komzali nengane noma izingane zakubo noma amanye amalungu omndeni lufana nokudlwengula kwentsha futhi kufanele adluliswe.
Imithombo:
Mayelana nobudlova basekhaya: Isiyaluyalu sobudlova. Uhlelo lwase-Eastside Sexual Violence Programme. http://www.edvp.org/AboutDV/cycle.htm
Umjikelezo wobudlova. Domesticviolence.org. http://domesticviolence.org/cycle-of-violence
Ikhasi eliyisiqalo sekhaya lasekhaya lobudlova basekhaya. http://www.thehotline.org/
I-Cycle of Violence. Sula i-Cycle. http://www.thesafespace.org/