Cabanga ngombhangqwana osemusha osegumbini esikoleni phakathi kwamakilasi. Ekuboneni kokuqala, kubukeka sengathi kuyinto evamile. Eqinisweni, kubonakala sengathi biseduze kakhulu. Kodwa uma ubheka kancane uzothola ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle kakhulu.
Usegqoke imikhono emide ngosuku olumanzi (ukufihla izivunguvungu ezandleni zakhe lapho amcindezele khona lapho ethukuthele). Uye wayeka ukukhanda izinwele zakhe ezindala futhi manje uyigqoke e-ponytail elula.
(Isoka lakhe limtshela ukuthi ubheka kangcono ngale ndlela, kodwa empeleni akafuni izinwele zakhe ezinde, zegolide ukuze zikhange esikoleni.)
Uma ifoni yakhe idlidliza ngomlayezo wombhalo ongenayo, uyayithatha futhi uyifunde. (Unayo yonke amaphasiwedi akhe futhi aqaphe konke ukuxhumana kwakhe, ngisho nemiyalezo evela kubazali bakhe.) Umlayezo ocingweni lwakhe uvela kumngani. Ufuna ukubuyela ngemva kwesikole. Utshela ukuthi akakwazi ukuphuma ebusuku. (Kufanele asebenzise sonke isikhathi sakhe naye manje.)
Ekugcineni, abangane bakhe bayeke futhi bayeke ukushaya nokuthumela imiyalezo. Ngokuphindaphindiwe, uzizwa eyedwa, ehlukanisiwe futhi eboshwe. Noma kunjalo, akazi ukuthi yini okumelwe akwenze futhi akekho ozosiza ukumsiza. Uboshiwe ebuhlotsheni obuhlukumezayo nokulawulayo ngaphandle kwemibono mayelana nendlela yokuphuma.
Kunezindaba ezingenakubalwa njengalezi ezenzeka emigwaqeni yezikole zesizwe sethu nsuku zonke. Eqinisweni, abesifazane abasebasha abaneminyaka engama-16 no-24 basengozini enkulu yokuhlukunyezwa kobudlelwane obuseduze nabo.
Kodwa lezi zindaba ezicashile zokuhlukunyezwa zivame ukungabonakali. Abantu abaningi abasha abazi nje ukuthi bangakuvimbela kanjani ukudlwengula kwentombazane, noma ukuthi bangabona kanjani ukuhlukunyezwa. Futhi ngisho noma benza, abazi ukuthi kufanele benzeni ukuyiqeda.
Yeka Indlela Okukhulu Okuyiyona Nkinga?
Ngokwesinye isifundo, cishe umuntu oyedwa kwabayishumi abaye baba nobuhlobo babika ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi, ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba, noma ukusongelwa kobudlova ngokomzimba.
Futhi abafundi abangaba yizigidi eziyi-1.5 esikoleni esiphakeme abanolwazi lokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba ngonyaka ngamunye. Lezi zinombolo zingaphezu kwezibalo kuphela. Bamele ubhubhane.
Inani elishaqisayo labantu abasha lizobhekana nokuhlukumeza ubudlelwane ngendlela ethile ngaphambi kokuba bangene ekolishi. Kodwa iningi labantu abanalo umqondo wokuthi bangazibona kanjani ukuhlukumeza, futhi noma ngabe benza, bangase bangakwazi ukubhekana nayo. Empeleni, amaphesenti angu-57 abafundi basekolishi athi ukuhlukunyezwa kobudlova kunzima ukubona, futhi amaphesenti angu-58 awazi ukuthi angamsiza kanjani umuntu ohlangabezana nakho. Ngenxa yalezi zizathu, kubalulekile ukuthi ukuvimbela ukulwa nodlame kwentsha kwenzeka esikhathini eside ngaphambi kokuba abantu abasha bathathe ingqondo ngokuthandana .
Ukuvimbela ukuhlukumezeka kwentsha ebantwaneni , abazali nabafundisi kudingeka bahlakulele ukuqonda okujulile nalokho okushiwo udlame lwentsha olusha, ikakhulukazi phakathi kwama-preteens nezintsha ezincane kakhulu. Nazi izindlela eziyisishiyagalolunye zokuqalisa.
Qeda Ngaphambi Kokuqala
Uma kuziwa ekuvimbeleni ubudlova obusha besilisa, umgomo omkhulu ukuyeka ubudlova ngaphambi kokuba uqale. Ngenxa yalokho, ukuvinjelwa okuphumelela kakhulu kuqala ngokufundisa ababelethi kanye nezintsha ezisencane mayelana nendlela yokwakha ubuhlobo obuhle nabanye. Kuhilela ukufundisa amakhono okuphila abalulekile afana nokuqinisekisa kanye namakhono okuxhumana okuqinile.
Kufanele futhi bafunde ukungavumelani nabanye ngendlela enempilo nangenhlonipho.
Siza Intsha Ukuqaphela Izimpawu Zokuxwayisa
Ukuhlukunyezwa nokuhlukunyezwa ebuhlotsheni bokuphola kuhilela okungaphezu nje kokushaya, ukukhahlela, ukushaya ibhande nokushaya. Eqinisweni, ubudlelwane obuhlukumeza kakhulu buqala ngezibonakaliso ezicashile ukuthi intsha eningi iphutha ngothando. Izibonakaliso ezivame kakhulu zokuxwayisa kukhona umhawu, ukuthumelelana imiyalezo nokubiza ngokweqile, futhi ukuphikelela ekusetshenziseni yonke isikhathi somzuzu ndawonye. Ekuqaleni, kulula ukukholelwa ukuthi lezi ziphathamandla zikhombisa ukuthi omunye umuntu unendaba yini. Kodwa empeleni, lezi zilawulwa izenzo ezivame ukuholela emizamweni eminingi yokulawula.
Fundisa izingane zakho ukuthi noma yisiphi isenzo sokulawula noma ubudlova kuyisignali yokuxwayisa. Ubuhlobo kufanele buphele ngisho noma omunye umuntu exolisa futhi uthembisa ukuthi ngeke aphinde akwenze. Ukulawula ukuziphatha kanye nodlame ebuhlotsheni ngokuvamile akuphuthuki noma kuhambe. Kunalokho, umjikelezo uvame ukuziphindaphinda.
Ukunika amandla abadlali abanezici mayelana nendlela yokuthola usizo
Akukho okubi kunokuba ubukele umngane wakhe ukuba ahlukunyezwe isoka noma intombi yakhe futhi angazi ukuthi benzeni. Akukhona ukuhlukumeza kuphela into ebudisi kakhulu yokuxoxisana nomngani, kodwa intsha kudingeka iqaphele ukuthi ukuthula lapho umuntu ekhathalela ukulimala akusilo uthando kakhulu. Yebo, kuyisihloko somuntu siqu. Akakhululekile ukukhuluma ngakho. Kodwa kufanele kwenziwe. Qinisekisa ukuthi ingane yakho iyazi ukuthi kufanele yenzeni uma ifakaza othile ehlukunyezwayo noma ehlukunyezwayo.
Yiba Umthombo Wokwaziswa Othembekile
Melana nesifiso sokuvumela inkulumo yamakamelo e-eydijithali, amaqembu okulala, ithelevishini, kanye nezincwadi zikaJudy Blume ukuze zibe ngumthombo wakho wolwazi kuphela wengane yakho. Kunalokho, qala ingxoxo mayelana nobuhlobo. Sebenzisa isiteji esivela ku-movie, ingqikithi evela encwadini noma indaba yezindaba ukuze uqale ingxoxo. Khuluma ngalokho okuphilile futhi okungenempilo ebuhlotsheni. Futhi ungabi namahloni ezindabeni ezinzima ezifana nobulili . Futhi qiniseka ukulalela lokho ingane yakho ekushilo. Futhi, xoxani ukubaluleka kwenhlonipho ebuhlotsheni. Qinisekisa ukuthi ingane yakho iyazi ukuthi kufanele ihlonishwe futhi, ngokufanayo, idinga ukuhlonipha abanye.
Xoxa ngobudlelwane obuhle nokubi
Intsha iningi ibheka ukuphola kanye nobuhlobo ngokusebenzisa lens romantic. Ekuqaleni, bayajabula, bajabule futhi bagcwele ithemba. Yisekela lezi zilindelo, kodwa futhi uzilungiselele ukuphakama nokuhlehla kobudlelwane obuvamile. Qinisekisa ukuthi bayazi ukuthi ngenkathi ukungezwani kungokwemvelo, ukuphatha ngendlela ehlukumezayo noma engenhlonipho akuyona into evamile. Ngokufanayo, ubudlova, ukuxhashazwa, ukubiza amagama nokuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi akuvamile. Awuwona unempilo kumlingani ukucindezela intombazane ukuthi ihlanganyele ekuthumelelaneni nge- SMS . Khona-ke, qiniseka ukuthi uzihlomise ngeziphakamiso zokuphuma ezimweni ezimbi. Isibonelo, bangathi: "Angikhululekile ngalokhu."
Fundisa Intsha Ukuba Yiqiniso
Ukufundisa izingane kanye nentsha ngokukwazi ukuveza ngokucacile imizwa yabo, imibono nezifiso kungenye yezinto ezinhle kakhulu umzali ongayenza. Njengoba izingane zakho zikhula, zama amathuba okuba bazame ukuhlanganyela imicabango yabo nemizwa yabo. Futhi uma unamandla, ubapha amandla okuthi cha chaza izinto abangafuni ukuzenza. Isibonelo, bazise ukuthi kuyamukeleka ukucela othile ukuba ashiye ikhaya lakhe lapho ehlambalaza, engahloniphi noma ethanda. Bengasho okuthile okufana nalokhu: "Ngingathanda ukuthi ushiye manje." Kuyamukeleka futhi ukuba bayeke ukubandakanyeka komphakathi njengokungena emakethe noma ephathini. Ukusebenzisa amakhono okuqinisekisa kuqala kusisiza ukuba uzilungiselele izimo ezinzima emgwaqweni njengokucindezela kontanga , ukuxhashazwa, nokuhlukunyezwa kocansi.
Xoxa Ngezidingo Ezinempilo Nezingenampilo
Enye yezinto zokuziphatha zokuqala ezizoxoxa ngayo umahluko phakathi kokulawula nokusebenzisana. Akuvamile ukuba izingane zifune indlela yazo. Kodwa kudingeka bafunde ukuthi akunakwenzeka njalo. Chaza ukuthi ukuzama "ukulawula" isimo ngokuphatha, ukuxoxisana, ukufuna noma ngisho nokuxhashazwa akuphilile. Esikhundleni salokho, kungcono ukuphikisana, ukuxazulula izinkinga , noma ukusebenzisana. Ngokufanayo, uma umuntu ephila, noma isoka elihlukumezayo noma intombazane enentombazane , ezama ukulawula isimo kunokuba asebenze ndawonye ukuze athole isisombululo, kudingeka abone ukuthi lokhu akuphilile. Okunye ukuziphatha okuzoxoxa ngakho umahluko phakathi kwabantu abathandekayo nokunikeza. Kuphilile ukuphana nokuzwela . Kodwa akunempilo yengane yakho ukwenza izinto ezinethemba lokwenza umuntu onjengaye.
Dala "Inqubomgomo Yezimfihlo"
Ubuhlobo obubi buvame ukuholela emfihlekweni. Ngokwesibonelo, abantu abasha bayazi ukuthi okwenzekayo akulungile, kodwa esikhundleni sokukhuluma ngakho, bayigcina imfihlo. Chaza intsha yakho ukuthi izimfihlo zifakazela ukuthi okuthile okumele "kufihlwe" kwabanye futhi ukufihla izinto akuphilile. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukufihlwa kuhlukanisa abantu emndenini nabangane babo. Qinisekisa ukuthi ingane yakho iyazi ukuthi ubudlelwane obandakanya ukufihla okuningi kaningi nakho kuqukethe ezinye izinto eziningi ezilimazayo ezifana nokuphathwa. Fundisa izingane zakho ukuthi zinamandla akusho ukuthi uzama ukuxazulula izinkinga zodwa. Kunalokho, ukuqina kusho ukuthi ube nesibindi sokutshela othile ngezinto eziqhubekayo ekuphileni kwabo.
Yazi ukuthi Kufanele Ufake nini
Noma nini uma uqaphela izinguquko ezincane ekuziphatheni kwengane yakho, njengokushintsha kwemizwelo, amaphethini okulala noma imikhuba yokudla, kufanele uqaphele. Ngisho nokudonsa emakilasini, abangani abambalwa abalenga nxazonke noma ukuyeka umdlalo owodwa oyintandokazi kuyimbangela yokukhathazeka. Ngokuvamile lezi zinguquko izibonakaliso zokuqala zokuxwayisa ukuthi kukhona okuqhubekayo empilweni yakhe emcasulayo. Buza ukuthi izinto zihamba kanjani ubone ukuthi uthini. Angase angavuli ekuqaleni, kodwa ngesithakazelo esifanayo empilweni yakhe, angase aqale ukukhuluma. Futhi uma ingane yakho isetshenziswa kabi, ungazami ukusingatha lesi simo ngokwakho. Izinhlelo ezinhle kakhulu zokuthola indodakazi yakho (noma indodana) ebuhlotsheni obuhlukumezayo ihilela iqembu labantu kuhlanganise nawe, ochwepheshe besikole, futhi ngezinye izikhathi ngisho namaphoyisa.