Indlela Yokuxoxa Ngezocansi Nezingane Zakho futhi Uphile Ngitshele Ngayo
Uma ungakaqali ukukhuluma nengane yakho mayelana nocansi, noma noma ngabe unayo, umqondo omuhle ukulungiselela ngengqondo ingxoxo. Ingane yakho izodinga ukwazi okuningi ngangokunokwenzeka ukwenza isinqumo esihle mayelana nomsebenzi wezocansi esikhathini esizayo. Ngoba kungase kube ukuphazamisa okuncane ukukhuluma ngamantongomane-nemikhonto yomsebenzi wezocansi, ukwazi ukuthi yini okudingeka uyisho nokuthi ungakusho kanjani ngaphambi kwesikhathi kungasiza ukwenza izinto zibe lula kuwo wonke umuntu.
The Mechanics
Ingane yakho ingase idingeke ukwazi izizinda, kodwa angeke ayivume. Uma ukhulume ngokungafani phakathi kwabafana namantombazane kanye nezitho zabo zokuzala kusukela ingane yakho isencane, ungase ube mdlalo ngaphambi komdlalo. Kubalulekile ukuthi baqonde ukukhulelwa kanye nendlela elungiselela umzimba wabo ukuba nezingane esikhathini esizayo. Buza ukuthi yini abaye bafunda ngomzimba wabo kanye nobulili ekilasini lezempilo noma lokho abaye bakuzwa kubangane. Ukubuza imibuzo evulekile kuvumela inkhulumomphendvulwano, hhayi inkulumo yomzali oyedwa. Kubalulekile ukuthi ingane yakho ikwazi ukuthi yikuphi ukulala ngokobulili nokuthi yiziphi ezinye izenzo ezenza umsebenzi wocansi. Sebenzisa amawebhusayithi noma izincwadi uma ukhuluma ngezenzo ngokwazo akukhathazeki kakhulu. Noma kunjalo ungadlulisela umlayezo kahle, uma nje ulwazi lunikezwa.
Izinkolelo Nezimiso Zakho
Ubulili bungaphezu kwesenzo ngokwayo. Umphakathi wethu unemithetho eminingi, imithethonqubo, kanye nemigomo mayelana nokuziphatha ngokocansi.
Cabanga ngendlela ozizwa ngayo ngocansi. Iziphi izimo zengqondo ezithinta ubulili owakhula nazo? Iyini inkolo yakho mayelana nale ndaba? Yiziphi izinkolelo ofuna ukuzinikeza ingane yakho ngocansi? Eziningi zalezi zinkolelo mayelana nobulili ziqhutshwa ngesizathu-ukuvikela intombazane ekukhulelwe okungafuneki, ukulibazisa umsebenzi wezocansi aze abe nomlingani omdala ozibophezele - noma ngenxa yokuthi kuyisiko kumasiko athile noma iqembu lenkolo .
Ukwazi ukuthi uzizwa kanjani nokuthi kungani uzizwa ukuthi kuzokuvumela ukuba udlulisele isimo sengqondo sakho ngale ndaba ngokuphumelelayo.
Amaqiniso
Kunezinto ezimbalwa izingane okufanele zikwazi ngomsebenzi wocansi phakathi neminyaka esemusha. Ezinye zezinto zihlanganisa:
- Ungakhulelwa okokuqala uma ucansi.
- Ukuhoxiswa akuphumelelanga ekuvimbeleni ukukhulelwa.
- Abangaphezu kwesigamu sabo bonke abafundi besikole esiphakeme abazange bahlanganyele ngesondo.
- Ngokomunye ucwaningo, izingxenye ezimbili kwezintathu zentsha ebenesifiso sobulili ngabe ngabe zilindele.
- I-CDC ithole ukuthi amantombazane angu-1 kwangu-4 anesifo esithathelwana ngocansi.
Akudingeki ukuba ube "sexpert," kodwa ukwazi amanye ala maqiniso nezibalo kuzosiza ingane yakho ukuba iqonde izingozi zocansi. Ukwengeza, okunye ongakufunda ngokuvimbela ukukhulelwa - ukuziyeka nokuvimbela ukukhulelwa - nokuthi ungagwema kanjani ukufaka isifo socansi, kungcono. Uma ungaba umlingani kanye nensizakalo yengane yakho, uzozizwa ekhululekile ekukhulumeni nawe ngale ndaba. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi ukuxoxa ngokulawulwa kokubeletha kanye nokuvinjelwa kwe-STD nentombazane yakho akusho ukuthi ukhuthaza ingane yakho ukuba ilale ocansini. Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi intsha ekwazi ukuthola ulwazi olunembile mayelana nobulili ijwayele ukulibazisa noma ukunciphisa ukuziphatha kwabo ngokobulili, ikakhulukazi ukuziphatha okuphezulu.
Okulindelweyo
Inhloso yabaningi bethu, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi singabazali noma abahlinzeki bezempilo, ukunciphisa izenzo zocansi zabantu abasha. Ngokusakazwa kwezifo ezithathelwana ngocansi kanye nokwanda kwentengo yokukhulelwa kwentsha, umsebenzi wesondo ocansini unemiphumela emibi engathanda ukuyigwema. Uma ufuna ingane yakho ukuba ingacansi, bese usho kanjalo. Uma umkhawulo wakho ukuthi ulindele ukuthi ingane yakho ingabe ingacansini ngenkathi isesikoleni esiphakeme, noma ihlala ekhaya, noma isengumfana osemusha, khona-ke udinga ukwenza ukuthi izilindelo zakho zicacile. Kuye kwaboniswa ukuthi intsha ethola umlayezo ocacile ovela kubazali bawo mayelana nokuthi imingcele iphathelene nomsebenzi wezocansi ukubambezeleka kokuya ocansini - umgomo wethu wokugcina.
Uma ingane yakho isenosuku olwamukelayo futhi ifuna ukukhuluma, ikhululeke ukubhekana nanoma yikuphi noma zonke izici zomsebenzi wocansi kanye nokulindela kwakho. Uma kungenjalo, kulungile ukukhuluma nganoma yini ebonakala iphathekayo ngaleso sikhathi. Uma kunesihloko mayelana nokukhulelwa kwentsha, sebenzisa njengesihluthulelo sokuxoxa ngokukhulelwa kwengane. "I-Talk" akudingeki ibe inkulumo eyodwa enkulu kodwa inkhulumomphendvulwano evulekile ngale ndaba ebalulekile.
Imithombo:
> Kerpelman, Jennifer noTomas, uLaura. "Izimiso Zokuzali. Ukukhulumisana Nomntanakho: Ukukhuluma Ngezocansi. "I-Alabama Cooperative Extension, i-Alabama A & M ne-Auburn University. Agasti, 2003.
> Isikhundla se-CDC esifundazweni Sifunde 1 ku-4 Intombazane Yengane Inesifo Esithathelwana Ngesandulela Ngculazi. Izikhungo zokuLawula izifo. Ngo-September 5, 2008. https://web.archive.org/web/20080313184328/http://www.cdc.gov/stdconference/2008/media/release-11march2008.htm
> Ukukhuluma Nengane Yakho Emncane Noma Entsha Ngokulinda. UMnyango WezeMpilo waseMelika kanye Nezinsizakalo Zabantu. Septemba 5, 2008. http://www.4parents.gov/talkingtoteen/index.html
> Izinsana Nezocansi: Ukukhuluma Nezinsizwa Ngezocansi. I-Palo Alto Medical Foundation. Septemba 5, 2008. http://www.pamf.org/teen/parents/sex/talksex.html