Izinto Eziyisithupha Ongayenza Njengomzali Okhathazekile
Ngenkathi abazali abaningi becabanga ukuthi ukuxhashazwa kuyinkinga evinjelwe esikoleni esiphakathi noma esikoleni esiphakeme, ingaqala njengenkulisa futhi ikhule ngokuqinile esikoleni esikoleni ngesigaba sesibili noma sesithathu.
Uma ungumzali obhekene nokuhlukumezeka, udinga ukuthatha isinyathelo esiqinile ukuze ukuziphatha kumiswe ngaphambi kokuba kube yingxenye yokuphila kwengane yengane.
Ukuchaza ukuxhaphazwa
Incazelo ilula: ukuxhashazwa kunoma yikuphi ukuhlukumeza okwenzelwe ukusongela noma ukuhlukumeza. Kungaba ngokomzimba, njengokushiya noma ukushaya, noma ukukhuluma, njengokubiza amagama noma ukuhleba inhlebo. Ezinganeni ezincane, ukuxhashazwa kungaphinda kufake ukukhishwa, noma ngokukhuthaza abanye ukuba baxoshe umuntu noma ngokwenza ama-clique okunye okungahlanganiswa ngokucacile.
Nakuba ukuxhaphazwa kwe-cyberbullying kungase kungabi nakancane kubantwana abancane besikole, ukuziphatha okufanayo okulawula ukuhlukunyezwa kwe-inthanethi kudlalwa empilweni yangempela.
Izibalo ziyakhathazeka. Ngokusho kocwaningo olwanyatheliswa emaphephandabeni ethi BMC Public Health, izingane ezingamaphesenti angu-13 enkulisa kanye nasezifundweni zasepulamende ziyizisulu zokuhlukunyezwa, kuyilapho amaphesenti angu-11 avuma ukuba yi-bully. Amaphesenti amane engeziwe angachazwa njengabahlukumezi-abahlukunyezwayo, abaningi babo abazoba abahlukumezayo ekuphileni kwamuva njengendlela engafanele yokuzivikela.
Okwenza izingane zixhaphaze
Izingane ezivame ukuhloswe yizihlukumezi zilabo abakhubazekile, abakhuluphele kakhulu, noma abaphansi kakhulu emsebenzini wesikole noma ukwenza abangane. Ukuze kutholakale ukubusa kwezenhlalakahle, ngokuvamile umuntu ohlukunyezwayo udinga okungaphezu kwegama elingavamile ukubhekisa ingane ngokuhlukunyezwa, ngokuvamile ngokuzikhandla.
Ezinye izingane, okwamanje, zizobamba iqhaza, mhlawumbe ngoba zizimisele ukwamukelwa komphakathi noma ukwesaba ukuxoshwa ngokwabo.
Ekugcineni, izingane zizohlasela izinto ezifanayo abantu abaningi abadala abazenzayo, okuyizinto zokuziphatha, izinkolelo, noma izici ezivelayo futhi zinselele ukuhleleka komphakathi kumuntu okholelwa ukuthi uyingxenye.
Ukwesaba okungavamile ngezinye izikhathi kungabangela izingane ukuba zibonise ukuziphatha okubi ukuze zifihla ukungaqiniseki abangaziqondi ngokwayo. Ukuziphatha okunjalo kungase kuqiniswe abazali ababonisa ukungafani okufanayo noma ukusebenzisa ukuhlukunyezwa njengendlela yokubhekana nokuphikisana.
Okushiwo Abazali
Esikhundleni sokuqeda ukuxhashazwa kwabafundi ngokuthi "isigaba" lapho izingane zizogcina khona, abazali banethuba eliyingqayizivele lokushintsha lezi zimo ngokusiza izingane ezincane ukuba zinqobe ukwesaba, ukukhathazeka nokungavikeleki okubabeka engozini.
Kunezinto eziyisithupha ongayenza ukusiza:
- Hlala uxhumekile nengane yakho. Uma wazi ngokwengeziwe ngofunda nabo ekilasini kanye nokuphila kwesikole, cishe uzoba nanoma yikuphi ukushintsha ukuziphatha komntwana noma ukusebenzisana. Lokhu kufaka kokubili ingane ehlukunyezwayo kanye nengane ehlukunyezwayo. Yenza iphuzu lokuxoxisana ngezenzakalo zosuku ngalunye, futhi unake lokho okushiwo yingane kodwa lokho angakugwema engxoxweni.
- Funa izimpawu zokuxwayisa. Uma ingane isisulu sokuxhashazwa , isibonakaliso sokuqala sokuxwayisa sivame ukuguquka ekuziphatheni. Lokhu kungabandakanya ukuhoxiswa, ukubonisa ukuhlukunyezwa okungazelelwe noma ukuthukuthela, ukungalungi, noma ukungabaza ukuya esikoleni. Uma ingane yakho ingumhlukumezi, izinkomba zingase zibe nzima ukuzithatha, kodwa kungavamile ukuzwa umhlukumezi enza amazwi ahlukumezayo nokuziqhayisa ngabanye, ngokuvamile engaqapheli ukuthi ukuziphatha okungalungile kuyini.
- Chaza ukuthi yikuphi ukuhlukunyezwa . Izingane ezincane ziqonda ukuthi ukushaya noma ukumxosha omunye ingane akulungile. Ngisho nokukloloda yilokho abakwaziyo ukulimaza. Kodwa izingane zingaba zinkimbinkimbi futhi ezingenakuqhathaniswa endleleni yazo yokuziphatha kulezi ziphathamandla. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, bangakwazi ukuklolodela ngokuthi "bavele bezungeza" futhi, ngakolunye uhlangothi, behluleka ukuqonda ukuthi ezinye izimo ezilimazayo ezifana nokukhishwa kungaba kanjani. Siza ingane yakho ukuba iqonde ukuxhashazwa kuzo zonke izinhlobo zayo, zombili eziqondile futhi ezicashile .
- Fundisa ukuzwelana kwengane. Izingane ezincane zinekhono eliyingqayizivele lokwenza ukuxhumana. Ngokungafani nabantu abadala, abakwazi ukubhekana nokuphikisana nokuhlonipha ukuziphatha okubi, izingane ezinhlanu, eziyisithupha, noma eziyisikhombisa zibona isenzo kanye nomphumela ngendlela eqondile. Uma ingane yakho ingumhlukumezi, cela ukuthi uzozizwa kanjani uma isicathulo sisezinye izinyawo. Uma ingane yakho ihlukunyezwa, bazisize ukuthi baqonde ukuthi kungani abanye abantwana behlukumezeka bangakwazi "ukuyikhuphula" futhi baqinisekise ukuthi abayinqaba noma abanecala.
- Tshela ingane ukuthi yini okufanele yenze uma efakazela ukuxhashazwa. Izingane ngokuvamile ngeke zifune ukuhileleka uma othile ehlukunyezwa ngenxa yokwesaba ukuphindwa. Bafundise ukuthi bangenzi kanjani lokho kufana nokuvuma ukuziphatha. Ingane kufanele iqonde ukuthi ukubika umhlukumezi akusi "ukuthungatha" kodwa kuyindlela nje yokumisa abanye ukuba bangalimazi. Vumela ingane yakho ukuthi kufanele ibike noma yikuphi ukuziphatha okunjalo kuwe noma uthisha ukuze umuntu omdala angenele.
- Khombisa ngesibonelo. Abazali abaningi abatholi ukuxhaphaza ngokweqile futhi bayokwenqabela ukuziphatha okuthile ngokuthi "akukubi" njengabanye. Ungazivumeli ukuba uphonseke yizimpikiswano. Uma ukuziphatha okunjalo kunganakiwe, izingane ezincane ziyokholelwa ukuthi zinikezwe imvume yokuxhaphaza. Ngisho nezinto ezifana nokukhishwa zingenziwa ngabathisha ngokuqhekeka amaqembu, izingane ezihambelanayo ezingahlanganyeli nemiklamo yesikole nokuhlala njalo zihlala phansi.
Njengomzali, ungamukeli ukuthi akukho lutho olungenziwa. Ithuba elikhulu kunazo zonke lokushintsha alikho esikoleni esiphakeme lapho kusetshenziselwa izintambo zenhlalo; ku-enkulisa nasesikoleni esiphansi lapho iziphathamandla namagugu zisathuthuka.
Uma izikhulu zezikole zihluleka ukwenza okuthile, zwakalise ukukhathazeka kwakho kumhlangano wabazali-othisha noma ufake isikhalazo esihlelekile ebhodini lesikole. Faka uhlaka oluningiliziwe lwezehlakalo zokuxhashaza nanoma yiluphi olunye ulwazi olungase lusekele izimangalo zakho. Ekugcineni, indlela osebenza ngayo inganquma ukuthi ingane ivunyelwe yini ukuhlupheka ngokuthula.
> Umthombo:
> Jansen, P .; I-Verlinden, M .; UDommisse van-Berkel, A. et al. "Ukuxhaphazwa nokuhlukumezeka phakathi kwezingane esikoleni sokuqala esikoleni esiphansi: Ingabe isimo somndeni nesifunda esikoleni sithinteka?" I-BMC Public School. 2012; 12: 494. I-DOI: 10.1186 / 1471-2458-12-494.