Ungakugwema kanjani ukukhulisa ingane engabandakanyi abanye
Nazi imibono engu-11 yokufundisa izingane ukuba zibandakanye. Ukuthoma kwesokunxele eqenjini lezingane ezipholile esikoleni, kungekho muntu ozohlala nesidlo sasemini, ungamukeli emisebenzini yomphakathi futhi uthathwa okokugcina eqenjini, zonke izibonelo zokungabikho komphakathi. Futhi kuyabuhlungu. Ukususwa kwezenhlalakahle kungathinta yonke into esuka enhlalakahle ngokomzwelo ekufezeni izifundo.
Kodwa kuthiwani uma ingane yakho inguye owenza lokho kungabandakanyi? Ubenza kanjani ukuba bahlanganyele futhi bavumeleke ukuba babe nokuthandayo mayelana nokuthi ubani ozophuma naye?
Qaphela ukuthi ukuxoshwa kuyindlela yokuxhaphaza
Uma izingane zingabandakanyi abanye, lokhu kuyindlela yokuxhashazwa okubizwa ngokuthi ukuhlukunyezwa ngokobudlelwane noma ukuxhaphazwa komphakathi. Leli gama libhekisela ekusetshenzisweni kokuxhumana nomphakathi, kungaba ezweni langempela noma ku-inthanethi, ukulimaza komunye umuntu. Ukukhishwa kungenye yezindlela zokuhlukumezeka ezihlobene nabazali.
Umlobi uScott Peck uchaza ukuthi amaqembu angalungile angakha kanjani umqondo wenhloso nokuzikhethela ngokwabo ngokukhetha umuntu ukuba abe isitha esivamile encwadini yakhe, A Different Drum: Community Making and Peace . Lokho akubhekisela kukho lapho iqembu lamantombazane ashoyo noma abahlukumezayo bakha ubunikazi babo ngokugcina umuntu ngaphandle nokuhlasela idumela lomuntu kanye nenani lakhe. Bathuthukisa nomqondo wokuxhuma naphezu kokuthi bangabantu abaqotho.
Ngezinye izikhathi, leli qembu lizohlekisa ngaye, lihlanganyele ekubizeni amagama futhi lishiye umuntu ngaphandle kwezinhlu zezimemo. Futhi bangase bathathe ukuxhashazwa ku-inthanethi futhi bahlanganyele ekuqhumeni kwe-cyberbullying , ukuhlambalaza, kanye ne- subtweeting . Ngezinye izikhathi, leli qembu lingase lenze sengathi umuntu akekho. Ngokuvamile, umuntu oyedwa eqenjini uholela ekuhlaziseni nasekuqothuleni futhi ecindezela abanye ukuba baxhaphaze .
Ngenxa yalokho, amalungu eqembu angabamba iqhaza noma angasho lutho uma ukuziphatha okushiwo kwenzeka.
Ukwenza izinto zibe zimbi nakakhulu, abantu abadala abavame ukuthatha ubudlova phakathi kwabantwana kanye nentsha. Benza iziphakamiso ezinjengokuthi, "Nje ungazinaki futhi udlale nomunye umuntu." Kodwa ukunciphisa ubuhlungu bokukhishwa akuyona into emhle. Mane ukhumbule ukuthi zonke izingane, kungakhathaliseki ubudala, ziyazuza ngokuba nabantu abadala ezimpilweni zabo ukulalela nokuqinisekisa imizwa yabo.
Akukhona nje ukuthi izingane zifaka phakathi umlayezo ovela kubangane babo ukuthi "zilahlekile," kodwa nazo zingase zenze izindlela ezilimazayo. Empeleni, ezinye izingane zicindezelekile noma zicabange ukuzibulala. Phakathi naleso sikhathi, abanye baba abababa futhi bafune izindlela zokuziphindiselela. Ngaphandle kokusekelwa, ingane ingase iqale ukukholelwa ukuthi wonke umuntu obalulekile emhlabeni ucabanga ukuthi akananzuzo noma ayifanele.
Yiqiniso enye yezindlela ezingcono kakhulu zokusiza ukulwa nokubandlululwa ukufundisa izingane kusukela esemncane indlela yokubandakanya. Nazi ezinye zezindlela ongazenza ngazo.
Fundisa Kids Indlela Yokuzibandakanya
Hlola ukwehluleka kwakho kokuhlukahluka . Khumbula izingane zibuke futhi ulalele konke okwenzayo. Hlola indawo yakho, umphakathi wakho, ubungane bakho kanye nokuxhumana kwakho nabanye.
Bese uthembeke wena ngokwakho. Umndeni wakho uxhumana kangaki nabantu abangafani nawe? Ngokwesibonelo, unabangane abahlukahlukene nezinhlanga ezahlukene? Uyamukela abantu? Noma ingabe wenza izahlulelo futhi ugcine izinkolelo? Uma ufuna ukuthi izingane zakho zibandakanye, kuzomele ube njalo ngaleyo ndlela.
Ukusekela umuntu ngamunye. Khuthaza ingane yakho ukuba ingabongi nje kuphela njengomuntu oyingqayizivele futhi ofanelekayo, kodwa nabanye. Mkhumbuze ukuthi ukubukeka komuntu, ubuntu bakhe, izinkolelo, izinkolelo nezithakazelo kuletha into ekhethekile emhlabeni ukuthi akekho omunye ongaphinda. Uma ingane yakho iqaphela ukuthi wonke umuntu unento yokunikela, ngeke abe nomuntu omncane onqabe abanye.
Nqaba imibono emphakathini. Qinisekisa ukuthi ingane yakho iyaqaphela ukuthi "ngaphakathi-isixuku" akaguquleli ngaso sonke isikhathi "esixukwini esihle kakhulu." Esikhundleni salokho, gxila ezintweni ezifanele ezihlanganisa umusa , inhlonipho nozwela . Futhi umfundise lokho okusho ubungane obuhle . Futhi, njengoba umzali emelana nesifiso sokutshala izimali kuwo wonke ama-electronics yakamuva, amagajethi, izingubo, izicathulo nezimoto. Lezi zinto ngeke zithenge ukwamukelwa kwengane yakho. Uma uthatha ukugxila kwengane yakho ezintweni ezibonakalayo njengendlela yokwamukelwa, khona-ke angeke abe ncane amathuba okuba ahlulele abanye ngezinto zabo ezibonakalayo.
Fundisa ingane yakho ukuthi ifinyelele kwabanye. Mxuse ukuba enze ezinye izingane ekilasini lakhe zizwe zixabiseke. Mkhuthaze ukuba abize ithole elisha ekilasini noma ukwazi intombazane ehlala ehlala yedwa emini. Enye indlela yokuqinisekisa ukuthi lokhu kwenzeka ukuthi inselele ingane yakho ukuthola into eyodwa enhle ngokuthi ingane ihlala ithi iyayicasula. Ukumcindezela ukwenza lokhu kuzomfundisa ukuthi kukhona okuhle kuwo wonke umuntu nokuthi wonke umuntu unento yokunikeza umhlaba.
Yenza ingane yakho ibheke esikhathini esizayo. Ngesinye isikhathi amagugu, amakhono, namandla ahlonishwayo esikoleni esiphakathi akuzona izici ezifanayo ezithandwa kamuva ekolishi. Isibonelo, umfana ohlakaniphile ohlulekayo esikoleni esiphakathi angase abe udokotela ohlakaniphile ngelinye ilanga. Umgomo wukuthi ingane yakho ibona ukuthi ngisho nezingane ezingathandwayo zifanelekile ukutshala isikhathi.
Buza ochwepheshe. Othisha, abeluleki kanye nabaphathi bavame ukukhomba ingane engabangane bakho engabakhuthaza ngayo, ikakhulukazi uma ingane yakho ibonakala iheha abangane abanobuthi noma izitha . Qinisekisa ukuhlola nabothisha nabaqondisi esikoleni sabantwana bakho ukuze uthole imibono kwezinye izihlobo noma amaqembu. I-Cliques ingaba yingozi kakhulu futhi kufanele ukhuthaze ingane yakho ukuba igweme ukuba yingxenye ye-clique.
Siza ingane yakho ukuba ikhiphe inetha elikhulu. Ucwaningo luye lwabonisa ukuthi izingane ezinezinhlobo ezahlukene zobungane, njengabangane esikoleni, esontweni, ezemidlalo nokunye, ngeke zamukele abanye kuphela, kodwa futhi bancane amathuba okuhlukunyezwa. Isizathu silula. Bafunde ukuhambisana neqembu elihlukene labantu.
Ngenxa yalokho, kufanele ukhuthaze ingane yakho ukuba ikwazi ukufaka inetha elikhulu futhi ifune ubungane endaweni yakubo, esikoleni, eqenjini, ngeqembu, nasontweni. Khumbula, udlala indima ebalulekile ekuqinisekiseni ukuthi ingane yakho ithola ubungane obuningi obuhle. Mkhuthaze ukuba akhe ubungane obunempilo nabangane abaningi abahlukene nakwezinye izinhlobo zamaqembu obungane. Izingane ezinezinhlobonhlobo zenethiwekhi ezisekela abangane zine ithuba elikhulu lokuphumelela ezweni elihlukene kakhulu.
Ukunika amandla ingane yakho . Yize kubalulekile ukuthi ingane yakho izame ukufaka wonke umuntu, kudingeka futhi wamtshele ukuthi uvunyelwe ukuthi azizwe ephephile futhi ehlonishwa ebuhlotsheni. Ingane yakho akudingeki ukuthi yamukele ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba noma ngokomzwelo ngentshisekelo yokubandakanya. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uma ubuhlobo bubonakale bulimaza futhi buyingozi, kuyamukeleka ngokuphelele ukuthi ingane yakho imise imingcele nomuntu.
Kuyamukeleka ngisho nokubeka imingcele enezingane ezinesidingo esikhethekile. Kungenxa yokuthi ingane inokukhubazeka ayimniki ilungelo lokulimaza ingane yakho ngokomzimba noma ngokomzwelo. Futhi ingane yakho kufanele ingabe inomuzwa wokuthi kufanele ngaso sonke isikhathi enze lokho omunye umntwana akufunayo uma kungenjalo ukukhetha okufanayo.
Dala ibanga ngenhlonipho . Ngezinye izikhathi izingane zisho nje futhi aziphilile ingane yakho ukugcina ubuhlobo. Kodwa lokho akunika ingane yakho ilungelo lokuphindaphinda. Kunalokho, khuthaza ingane yakho ukuba igweme ukusebenzisa amagama amabi, ukuxolisa amanga noma ukuvumela amahlaya angamahloni ngokungeza "ukuthumba" kuze kube sekupheleni komusho.
Kufanele akhethe ukuhlonipha ngenkathi edala ibanga kusuka kumngani. Futhi uma kufanelekile, mxoxe ukuthi kungani ehamba. Kwezinye izimo, ukukhulumisana okuqotho kungashukumisela umuntu osemusha ukuba ashintshe.
Fundisa ingane yakho ukuba ibe ngummeli hhayi ubufakazi . Ukucindezela kontanga kuyinto enamandla. Kodwa kunjalo ukuma kwezinye izingane. Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi uma umuntu oyedwa emela ukumelana nokuhlukunyezwa, uyayeka. Lapho ingane yakho ibona enye ingane engekho ngaphandle kwayo imkhuthaze ukuba amise.
Angakwenza lokhu ngezindlela eziningana. Okokuqala, angatshela abanye ukuthi ngaphandle komuntu akuyona into enhle. Noma, angathatha izinyathelo zokuba umngane nomfundi ongakhulumi ngokummema ukuba enze okuthile ndawonye ngemuva kwesikole. Futhi anganikeza ukuhlala naye emini, uhambe naye emahholo bese ukhuluma naye phakathi kwamakilasi.
Gcina ithrekhi yalokho okwenzekayo ku-intanethi . Uma ingane yakho ihlanganyela nezingane ku-intanethi ezixosha abanye, qiniseka ukuthi usho okuthize ngakho. Ngisho noma ingane yakho ingalokothi ibenze noma yini yokugodla abanye, mkhumbuze ukuthi ukuthanda noma ukwabelana okuthunyelwe okushoyo kuyingozi njengokuthunyelwe kwangempela.
Okufanelekile, ingane yakho kufanele imise ukulandela izingane eziqondileyo ngokuphelele. Kodwa izingane eziningi zamesaba ukulahleka futhi lokhu kungaba nzima kubo. Ngakho-ke yiba nesineke. Ukusika lezi zibopho kungathatha isikhashana kanye nesilinganiso esithile sesibindi, ikakhulu uma esaba ukuphindisela. Phakathi naleso sikhathi, gwema ukuphikelela ukuthi ingane yakho imise ukusebenzisa ubuchwepheshe noma imithombo yezokuxhumana. Esikhundleni salokho, mfundise indlela yokugwema ubungane obusondelene nabo ku-intanethi . Lezi zifundo zizomsiza esikhathini esizayo empilweni kunokungabi nakho okuhlangenwe nakho nabezindaba zenhlalo nhlobo.