Iminyaka eyishumi igcwele igcwele zonke izinhlobo zamantombazane asho. Kusuka kuma-fox kanye nabangane abaqamba amanga kubangane abanobuthi kanye namantombazane alawulayo, ukuziphatha kwezintombazane zabo ezivame ukushiya abanye ukuzwa ubuhlungu, ukuphazamiseka nokuphazamiseka.
Khumbula, ukuziphatha okushoyo akuyona into evamile yokuziphatha kwentombazane, futhi indodakazi yakho ngeke ikwazi ukuphendula ngaphandle kokuqeqesha okuvela kuwe. Eqinisweni, ukuziphatha kwentombazane enhle kuyinkimbinkimbi futhi ayihambisani. Ngelinye ilanga intombazane ingase ibonakale njengomngane wakho omncane kakhulu, ngolunye usuku uyenqaba ukukhuluma naye. Umsebenzi wakho ukumsiza ukuba abone ukuthi umngane wakhe akayena umngane ngempela kodwa ulawule esikhundleni.
Kunezizathu eziningi zokuthi kungani amantombazane akhetha ukuthi abe nesisindo noma asebenzise ubudlova obuhlobene . Lezi zizathu zibandakanya konke ukusuka ekukhuphukeni kwesiteleka sezenhlalo ukuya ekucindezelweni kontanga . Amantombazane asho njalo ayingxenye yama-clique asebenzisa ukuhlehlisa, ukuxosha , ukusabalala ngamahemuhemu , ukubiza amagama noma ngisho nokuhlukunyezwa ukuze kubangele ukulimala kwengqondo okukhulu.
Baphinde balimaze abanye ngokusebenzisa i- cyberbullying . Futhi bahlanganyela inhlebo ye-intanethi, ukuxhashazwa ngokocansi , ukuhlambalaza nge-slut nezinye izinyathelo ezilimazayo. I-Cliques iqiniswa kwi-intanethi lapho amantombazane ethola izithombe zezingxenye ezikhethekile kanye nezenzakalo lapho kubalwa khona abambalwa abakhethiwe kuphela.
Uma indodakazi yakho ingabangane neqembu lamantombazane asho ukuthini, noma ibhekene nentombazane enhle esikoleni, ungakhathazeki ukuthi kuyoba buhlungu kangakanani kuye. Futhi nakuba kungase kubonakale kungabalulekile kuwe, kuyinto enkulu kakhulu kuye. Ngenxa yalokho, qiniseka ukuthi uzibophe ngezinto ezicatshangwayo ongakusho ngazo ngesimo. Nazi izinto eziyisishiyagalolunye ongazicabangela ukutshela indodakazi yakho.
"Ngiyaqonda."
Mhlawumbe indlela ebaluleke kunazo zonke ongasiza ngayo indodakazi yakho ukuzwelana nesimo sayo. Mkhumbuze ukuthi akekho ofanelwe ukuphathwa ngendlela ethathwa ngayo. Amantombazane asho njalo avame abanye bazizwe bephansi. Qinisekisa zonke izinto ezinhle okufanele azinikeze umhlaba. Qinisekisa ukuthi indodakazi yakho iyazi ukuthi ayiyona inkinga, intombazane enhle ingukuthi. Msize agxile emandleni akhe kunalokho.
"Thuma futhi uhlale unamandla."
Amantombazane asho kaningi anekhono lemvelo lokubona ukuthi ubani ongakwazi ukulawula futhi asebenze. Ngakho-ke, khuthaza indodakazi yakho ukuba imomotheka futhi ihlale iqiniseka. Kufanele agweme ukubheka ukwesaba, ukungavikeleki noma ukunqotshwa. Sebenza nendodakazi yakho ngokuqina futhi ukhethe ukuzethemba . Amantombazane asho amathuba okuphindaphinda amaqhinga awo uma indodakazi yakho ingahlala iqiniseka futhi ilawulwa. Mfundise ukuba abe nokuhleleka okuhle, izwi lokukhuluma elinamandla nokubhekisisa amehlo. Lezi zici ngokuvamile zivimbela amantombazane. Ngezikhathi eziningi, bavele bafuna i-target elula.
"Yiba nesibindi futhi uqiniseke."
Yonke intombazane idinga ukufunda ukuthi ingazimela kanjani, ikakhulukazi emantombazaneni ashoyo. Indlela engcono kakhulu yokwenza lokhu ukufunda ukuthi ungaba kanjani . Umgomo wukuthi indodakazi yakho ingakwazi ukuzivikela ngendlela enenhlonipho ngaphandle kokuba nobudlova noma isho ukubuyisela. Kufanele athole indlela yokukhulumisana ukuthi ukuxhashazwa kwale ntombazane nokusho amaqhinga akulungile futhi ngeke kubekezelelwe. Khumbuza indodakazi yakho ukuthi amantombazane athembele ekungeneni kokuziphatha kwakhe. Kufanele abakhombise ukuthi bahlukumezekile lapho bemkhomba.
"Cabangela impendulo yakho."
Khumbuza indodakazi yakho ukuthi nakuba engenakho ukulawula lokho abanye abantu abakushoyo noma abakwenzayo, uphethe ukulawula impendulo yakhe. Ukucindezela ukuthi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi intombazane enhle isho ukuthini noma yenza, kufanele azame ukugcina izimpendulo zayo zingenayo imizwelo. Futhi uma engakwazi ukuphendula ngendlela ezolile, kufanele azinaki imibono futhi ahambe. Bese umkhuthaza ukuba akhulume nawe noma omunye umuntu omdala mayelana nendlela yokubhekana nokuhlaselwa okuzayo. Umgomo ukuwulungiselela ukuhlaselwa okuzayo ngamantombazane ashoyo.
"Yeka ingxoxo."
Uma indodakazi yakho ingummeli okusho ukuziphatha kwentombazane , udinga ukwazi ukuthi ukuma futhi ungasho lutho ukhuluma ukuthi uyakwamukela lolu hlobo lokuziphatha. Futhi uma engenaso isibindi sokusho okuthile okwamanje, kufanele ahambe. Lapho amantombazane asho ukuthi angenazo izilaleli ezisebenzayo, alahlekelwa amanye amandla awo. Mkhumbuze ukuthi kubalulekile ukubika ukuziphatha okungalungile kumuntu omdala. Ungakwazi futhi ukuba umngane weqhaza lentombazane enhle. Zonke lezi zinto zinciphisa amathuba okuthi ukuziphatha kwentombazane enhle kuyoqhubeka nokuphumelela.
"Gcina umuntu omdala enolwazi."
Izikhathi eziningi, amantombazane acabanga ukuthi angakwazi ukubhekana nokuziphatha kwentombazane. Nakuba kunezizathu eziningi zokuthi kungani izingane zingatshele muntu ngokuxhashazwa , ukucindezeleka endodakazini yakho ukuthi wena nabanye abantu abadala ukhona ukuze umsize. Qinisekisa ukuthi uyazi ukuthi umbuyise futhi uzosebenza nesikole ukuqeda lokhu kuziphatha. Zibophezele ekusizeni indodakazi yakho ngalokhu futhi cishe kuzokugcina unolwazi.
"Thola elinye iqembu labangane."
Ngokuvamile, intombazane enhle yindodakazi yakho ecabanga ukuthi ingumngani. Indodakazi yakho ingaba yingxenye yeqembu manje eliye laba yi-clique futhi amantombazane akulo asengabangane beqiniso kodwa esikhundleni salokho. Xoxa nendodakazi yakho mayelana nokuthi ungabona kanjani abangane abangalungile. Futhi xoxani ngezibonakaliso ezikhona lapho umngane engumhlukumezi . Bese ucabanga ukuthi ubani ongase abe abangane abalungile ukuzungezile. Khuthaza indodakazi yakho ukuba ihambe futhi imeme amantombazane. Zizimisele ukumsiza ukuba ahlakulele ubungane . Ubuhlobo obunempilo ngenye yezinto ezingcono zokuxhaphaza.
"Gxila esikoleni."
Izingane zivame ukuvumela lokho abanye abakushoyo nokwenzayo ukuze bathinte impilo yabo yansuku zonke. Futhi into yokuqala eyithintekayo yinto yesikole yabo. Siza indodakazi yakho ishintshe ukugxila kwakhe. Ukuqapha umakhalekhukhwini kanye nokusebenzisa i-computer yindawo enhle yokuqala. Kodwa ungavimbeli indodakazi yakho ukuthi ingasebenzisi lezi zindlela zokuxhumana. Kunalokho, umkhuthaze ukuba asebenzise isikhathi esincane kumithombo yezokuxhumana. Ukugcizelela ukuthi akufanele avumele ukuxokozeleka okubangelwa izenzo zabanye ukulawula impilo yakhe kanye nesikhathi sakhe. Udinga ukubuyisela ukulawula futhi ugxile kokunye okulawulayo njengesikole noma ezemidlalo.
"Thola izindlela ezinempilo zokubhekana nazo."
Vumela indodakazi yakho yazi ukuthi lokho okubhekana nakho kunzima nokuthi akufanele izame ukuyiphatha yedwa. Hlala uzimisele ukumlalela ngaphandle kokwahlulela noma ukuzama ukulungisa izinto. Menze azi ukuthi ungumuntu ophephile ongakhuluma naye. Futhi uma engafuni ukukhuluma nawe, msize athole umuntu angazithumela kuye. Futhi, qaphela imiphumela yokuxhashazwa isikhathi eside njengokudla kokukhathazeka , izinkinga zomzimba, i- PTSD , ukuziphatha okulimazayo, ukucindezeleka ngisho nemicabango yokuzibulala . Futhi ungesabi ukuthola usizo ngaphandle kwendodakazi yakho. Akuyona isibonakaliso sobuthakathaka ukufuna ochwepheshe bezokwelapha nabacebisi. Eqinisweni, kubonisa ukuhlakanipha. Yenza konke ongakwenza ukusiza indodakazi yakho ukuba ibhekane namantombazane ashoyo. Uyothokoza ukuthi wenza.