Kube neningi lezingxoxo mayelana nezingozi zezingane ezihlaselayo eminyakeni embalwa edlule, kodwa kube khona izixwayiso ezimbalwa mayelana nezingozi zokukhala. Ucwaningo lwamuva luveza ukuthi ukuklabalaza izingane kungabangela ukulimaza njengokungathi ugaxekile .
Ucwaningo olwenziwe nge-Yelling
Ucwaningo olunyatheliswa emibikweni yokuThuthukiswa kwengane ukuthi ukuklolodela nokuhlambalaza ngamazwi kunemiphumela emibi kubantwana.
Abacwaningi bathola ukuthi ukumemeza kwandisa izinkinga zokuziphatha kanye nezimpawu zokucindezeleka ezinganeni.
Lapho abazali bekhala, bavame ukwenza kanjalo ngoba baphelelwe ukufutheka. Ngenxa yalokho, kungenzeka ukuthi bakhulume amahlaya noma babize amagama abo wengane. Lokhu kungathatha umonakalo omkhulu ekuziphatheni komntwana. Ucwaningo lweminyaka emibili luphetha ngokuthi imiphumela yokujeziswa ngamazwi kaningi yayifaniswa nemiphumela emibi yesijeziso somuntu.
Njengoba izingane zifinyelela eminyakeni eyishumi neminyaka-ubudala lapho ziqala ukuhlakulela khona ukwahlukanisa nabazali bazo-zingase zisengozini enkulu yesiyalo esinzima. Ucwaningo lubuthole ukuthi izingane kule nkathi yobudala ezahlukunyezwa ngamazwi zazivame ukukhombisa ukuziphatha okunonya nobudlova.
Naphezu kwemiphumela yokukhala, cishe wonke umzali uyakhala ngezinye izikhathi. Ucwaningo olwanyatheliswa ngo-2003 ku- Journal of Marriage and Family lithole ukuthi abazali abangamaphesenti angu-90 bathi babedukise, bamemeza, noma bamemeza izingane zabo ngonyaka odlule.
Emindenini enezingane ezingaphezu kweminyaka engu-7, cishe amaphesenti angu-100 abahlanganyeli avuma ukuklolodela izingane zabo.
Kungani ukukhala Kungasebenzi?
Akukona nje ukumemeza okulimaza izingane, kodwa futhi akuyona indlela ephumelelayo yokuqondisa. Nazi ezinye zezizathu zokuthi kungani ufuna ukucabanga kabili ngaphambi kokuphakamisa izwi lakho:
- Ukumanga kwenza izinkinga zokuziphatha zibi nakakhulu. Ukumemeza kudala umjikelezo oqhubekayo - abazali abaningi bekhala, izingane ezimbi ziziphatha kahle, okuholela ekukhulekeleni okukhulu. Ukuze uphule lo mjikelezo, kubalulekile ukuzinikela ekusebenziseni ezinye izindlela zokuziphatha ezingahileleki ukukhala.
- Izingane zishintshwa ngokweqile kumqulu. Isikhathi sokuqala lapho umemeza ingane, cishe uyomnaka. Kodwa, uma ushaya ngokwengeziwe, awukwazi ukusebenza kangcono uma kunjalo. Uma izingane zihlala emakhaya lapho zikhala khona njalo, zijwayele.
- Ukumemeza kwandisa ukukhungatheka komzali. Uma usuvele uzizwa ucindezelekile ukuziphatha kwengane yakho, ukumemeza kuzokwandisa izinga lakho lokuvusa. Ukukhulisa izwi lakho kungashukumisa ngokushesha ukucasuka kancane ibe intukuthelo eqondile. Futhi kwandisa amathuba okuthi uzosho amazwi okuhlambalaza noma usebenzise ukugxekwa ngokweqile.
- Izingane zifunda ukuthi ukumemeza kuyindlela enhle yokuphikisana. Uma ukhala, uyabonisa indlela yokubhekana nokuthukuthela nokuphikisana. Umntanakho uzokulingisa lezo ziphathamandla lapho esebenzelana nabangane bakhe kanye nabantakwethu.
- Ukukhipha akubandakanyi ukufundisa. Ukutshela ingane ukuthi, "Yeka ukwenza lokho," akumbonisi ukuthi yini okufanele akwenze esikhundleni sakhe. Izingane zidinga ukufunda amakhono ukuzisiza ukulawula imizwelo yazo nokuphatha ukuziphatha kwazo ukuze zingaphindaphindi amaphutha afanayo.
- Ukulahlekelwa ukulawula kusho ukulahlekelwa inhlonipho. Kulukhuni kubantwana ukufaka ukuthembela okuningi nenhlonipho kumuntu obabiza ngokuthi amagama noma ukukhala kubo. Ngezinye izikhathi izingane zicabanga ukuthi, "Uma ungakwazi ukuzilawula, uzongilawula kanjani?" Ngenxa yalokho, bancane amathuba okufuna ukujabulisa wena futhi bancane amathuba okubonga umbono wakho.
- Ukukhipha akusebenzi. Ekugcineni, ukumemeza akusebenzi. Uma kwenzeka, abazali ngeke bakwenze lokhu okuningi. Kodwa-ke, abazali abaningi bathola ukuthi bayamemeza kaningi, kunalokho okuncane. Eminye imiphumela, njengokuthatha amalungelo , ingaba ngempumelelo kakhulu ekulawuleni ukuziphatha kwengane.
Abazali abaningi abafuni ukuklolodela ezinganeni zabo, noma kunjalo, benza kanjalo ngenxa yokukhungatheka. Uma izingane zingalaleli noma ziphula imithetho, udinga uhlelo lokuthi uzoya kanjani ukuyala ngaphandle kokukhala .