Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi awukwazi ukucabanga ngomntanakho enze iphutha emsebenzini wakhe wesikole, noma wesaba ingane yakho ingenzi izinqumo ezinhle uma ubheka phezulu, kungaba nzima ukunikeza ingane yakho inkululeko uma ' i-a little of freak control.
Nakuba kungenempilo yokuba umzali we- pushover , ukulawula i-freak kuyinkinga efanayo. Uma unecala lokusebenzisa izinto ezincane zemisebenzi yengane yakho, le miphumela ingaba enganeni yakho:
1. Uzokhipha Izingane Zakho Ngesizathu Esingaqondile
Abazali abaphikelela ukuthi babe nezinga eliphakeme lokulawula izingane zabo bavame ukuzibandakanya emisebenzini eminingi ehleliwe. Kusukela kwizifundo ze-violin ukuya kumdlalo webhola lebhola, bakholelwa ukuthi izingane zabo zithola umncintiswano wokuncintisana.
Kodwa isifundo se-2011 eshicilelwe kwi- Journal of Child and Family Studies sitholile ukuthi ukubhalisa izingane emisebenzini yangemva kwesikhathi akuzange kubenze bajabule, baphilise noma baphumelele. Ngakho ukugijimela kusuka komunye umsebenzi kuya kwesinye kungase kumkhathaze ingane yakho-futhi ukhiphe i-akhawunti yakho yasebhange-ngaphandle kwesizathu sangempela.
2. Ngeke kube nemiphumela yemvelo
Uma kubanda ngaphandle bese wenza uneminyaka engu-14 ubudala agqoke ijazi, ngeke afunde okwenzekayo uma engagqoki. Uma uhlale uthatha ukuvimbela impikiswano phakathi kwezingane, ngeke zifunde ukuxazulula izinkinga zodwa.
Vumela izingane zakho ukuba zibhekane nemiphumela yemvelo uma kuphephile ukwenza kanjalo.
Lokhu kusho ukuthi kuzodingeka ubekezelele ukubukela ingane yakho yenza amaphutha noma yenza izinto ongeke ukwenze. Ukunikeza ukulawula kungaba nzima uma ungasetshenzisiwe ukuyeka ukuhamba.
3. Ukudala kuyodumazeka
Abantu abafuna konke ukuthi bangaphansi kokulawula bathumele umlayezo, "Kunendlela eyodwa kuphela yokunene yokwenza lokhu, futhi yindlela yami." Yize kunezindlela eziningi zokuxazulula inkinga eyodwa, uma ungumuntu olawulayo, Uzodikibala noma yiluphi uhlobo lokudala.
Khumbuza ukuthi ingane yakho ingase ibe nendlela ehlukile yokuxazulula inkinga, futhi kungenzeka ukuthi ayiphutha. Cishe yonke inkinga inezixazululo eziningi. Vumela ukuvumela ingane yakho ukuba ihlole, ifunde, futhi yenza imizamo ephindaphindiwe yokuxazulula inkinga ngaphambi kokuthi ungene futhi umtshele ukuthi "ungayenza kanjani kahle."
4. Kids Pick Up Ukukhathazeka
Iningi labantu liziphatha njengama-freaks control ngoba bazizwa bexhala uma bezwa sengathi abalawuli. Bacabanga ukuthi, "Uma ngingagcini konke okulawulwayo, kukhona okubi okuyokwenzeka." Kodwa izingane ziyaqonda, kodwa zizokuthatha ngokushesha ukukhathazeka kwakho, ngisho noma zingakhulumi ngokuzwakalayo.
Abazali abanesibindi banezingane ezesabekayo. Ngakho kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi ukukhathazeka kwakho kungangena kanjani endleleni yokubeletha okunempilo . Esikhundleni sokuhlale ucabanga ngazo zonke izinto ezimbi ezingase zenzeke, sebenza ngokunikeza ingane yakho inkululeko yokuba yintsana.
5. Abantwana Abesaba Iziphambeko
Uma uhlale uqapha konke okushiwo ingane yakho, kungenzeka ukuthi uyesaba ukwenza iphutha. Futhi ngeshwa, amaphutha angaba ithuluzi elikhulu lokufundisa futhi angasiza izingane zifunde indlela yokubhekana nokuhluleka.
Kodwa uma unganqikazi ukuyeka ukulawula okwanele ukuthi ingane yakho izokwazi ukwenza iphutha, cishe uzocabanga ukuthi amaphutha amabi futhi angase azame ukumboza noma yiziphi amaphutha azenzayo.
Fundisa ingane yakho ukuthi amaphutha alungile. Futhi, khuluma ngokubaluleka kokwamukela umthwalo wemfanelo ngokuziphatha kwakhe futhi umbonise ukuthi wonke umuntu wenza amaphutha ngezinye izikhathi.
6. Izinkinga zempilo yengqondo zingase zandise
Izingane ezinabazali abalawulayo zisengozini enkulu yezinkinga ezithile zempilo yengqondo . Ukucindezeleka nokukhathazeka kungabangela lapho abazali befuna ukulalela futhi abantwana abanalo inkululeko yokuziveza.
Ucwaningo lwango-2013 olwanyatheliswa kuyi- Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology lwathola ukuthi izingane ezinomzali onenhlanhla azikwazi ukubhekana namakhono okubhekana nokuphumelelayo. Balwela ukubhekana nokukhathazeka nokucindezeleka baba abantu abadala.
Vumela Isidingo Sokulawula.
Uma uzithola uzama ukulawula konke, zibuze ukuthi yini ebaluleke kakhulu-ukuthungatha okuzoshiywa ingane yakho idlala ne-glue, noma impilo yakhe yengqondo yonke?
Ukuyeka ukuhamba ngezinye izikhathi nokuvumela ingane yakho ukuthi inkululeko yokudlala ingaba kuhle kuye kuphela, kodwa nakuwe. Thatha izinyathelo zokukhulisa ingane eqinile yengqondo ekulungele ukubhekana nezinselele zempilo yedwa.
> Imithombo
> I-Janssen I. I-Hyper-parenting ihlotshaniswa kabi nokusebenza ngokomzimba phakathi kweminyaka engu-7 no-12 ubudala. Imithi yokuvimbela . 2015; 73: 55-59.
> Rousseau S, Scharf M. "Ngizokuqondisa" Ukuxhumanisa okungaqondile phakathi kokuhlehliswa kuka-overparenting nabantu abadala. Ucwaningo lwezokwelapha . 2015; 228 (3): 826-834.
> Schiffrin HH, uNkulunkulufrey H, uLiss M, Erchull MJ. Umzali Omkhulu: Ingabe Unomthelela Othandekayo Emiphumeleni Yomntwana? I-Journal Yezifundo Zengane Nezizwe . 2015; 24 (8): 2322-2331.
> Segrin C, Woszidlo A, Givertz M, Montgomery N. Imikhuba Yomzali neyengane ehlangene nokudlula. Journal of Social and Psychology Clinic . 2013; 32 (6): 569-595.