Umqondo wokubeletha obala ongenazo zithinta abezindaba ngo-2008 ngenkathi uLenore Skenanzy, umlobi wekhomishana waseNew York, ebhala isihloko esithi, "Kungani Ngivumela Ukuthi Umdala Wami Oneminyaka Engu-9 Uhambe Ngomgwaqo Owodwa?" Indaba yazuza ukunakwa kwezwe njengoba abantu waqaphela ngesinqumo sakhe.
I-Skenanzy icacile ukuthi uqinisekisile ukuthi indodana yakhe ikwazi ukufunda imephu yomshuwalense futhi yamnika imali lapho kwenzeka khona.
Kodwa, abagxeki basaphikisana nesinqumo sakhe esinqunyiwe ekunganakwa kwengane.
I-Skenanzy yaqala ukunyakaza ukukhuthaza abazali ukuba bayeke ukuba abazali bezindiza. Waxwayisa ngezingozi zezingane ezingaphezu kwezingane futhi wakhuthaza abanye abazali ukuba bakhulise izingane ezizimele ezingenza izinqumo eziphilile ngokwabo.
Phakathi neminyaka eminingi, abanye abazali abaningi baye benza izindaba ngeendlela zabo zokukhulisa izingane zabo. Ezimweni ezimbalwa, izinsizakalo zokuvikela izingane ziye zahileleka emindenini lapho ukubeletha okungabanikazi kubanga kubonakala kunganaki.
Ukukhulisa Abazali Bamahhala Ukulwa Nokunganakwa
Akukhona njalo impendulo ecacile mayelana nengane lapho ilungele ukuphatha imithwalo yemfanelo evuthiwe, njengokugibela yedwa ongaphansi komhlaba. Eqinisweni, lokho okubhekwa njengokwejwayelekile endaweni eyodwa phakathi kwabazali kungase kubhekwe njengokunganaki kwamanye amadolobha noma izifundazwe. Kukhona impikiswano eminingi mayelana nemibuzo efana nalokhu:
- Ngabe ingane kufanele ivumeleke ukuba ihlale ekhaya yiphi ubudala?
- Ngabe ingane ikhulile nini ukuze ihlale yedwa ebusuku?
- Iyini iminyaka ingane okufanele ivunyelwe ukuhamba ngayo emgwaqweni yodwa?
- Ingane ingadlala epaki ngaphandle komuntu omdala ekhona?
- Ngabe umdala osemdala kufanele akwazi ukuphatha izingane ezincane kangakanani?
Ngenkathi umndeni owodwa ungavumela umuntu oneminyaka engu-7 ukuba ahambe epaki yedwa, omunye umndeni usengakashaya umntanami oneminyaka engu-12 ubudala.
Amazwe ambalwa anemithetho eqondile elawula ukuthi izingane ezindala kumele zihlale kanjani zodwa noma zivunyelwe ukuhamba esikoleni, iningi lamazwe alinayo imithetho ethile. Esikhundleni salokho, kushiywe abazali ukuba banqume ngesisekelo-icala-icala.
Izici
I-Skenanzy icacile ukuthi ukubeletha kwamahhala okungafani akukona ngokukhulisa izingane ngokunganaki. Esikhundleni salokho, mayelana nokuvumela izingane inkululeko kanye nethuba lokuba "yizingane." Nazi ezinye ezimbalwa izici eziyinhloko zokukhulisa izingane ezahlukene:
- Abazali bavumela imisebenzi eminingi engakapheli. Esikhundleni sokuphuthuma ezifundweni ze-violin ukuya ekwenzeni ibhola nsuku zonke, abazali abakhululekile bakhuthaza ukudlala okungahleliwe. Isibonelo, esikhundleni sokuthi umuntu omdala agcizelele imithetho eminingi yomdlalo we-baseball, izingane ezikhululekile zikhuthazwa ukuba zidlale umdlalo wokutakula nama-pals abo endaweni.
- Ukudlala emvelweni kubalulekile. Ama-free-range izingane zikhuthazwa ukudlala ngaphandle, kunokusebenzisa i-electronics. Abazali abakhululekile bafuna izingane zabo zikwazi ukuzijabulisa ngaphandle kobuchwepheshe - kungakhathaliseki ukuthi zidlala engadini noma zakha i-fort.
- Izingane zithola ukuzimela. Abazali be-Free-range bavumela izingane ukuba zithole ukuzimela futhi zanikezwa inkululeko eyengeziwe kanye nomthwalo wemfanelo kancane kancane. Ukugxila ekuboniseni izingane ukuthi bakwazi ukuzama izinto ezintsha nokufeza imisebenzi eyinkimbinkimbi ngokwabo.
- Abazali bamahhala abakhululekile abazali ngenxa yokwesaba. Ngenkathi, iningi lazo liphoqelela izinyathelo zokuphepha - njengokugqoke isigqoko sokugqoka ngenkathi ugibela ibhayisikili - futhi bayaqonda ukuthi izingozi zingenzeka noma kuphi. Bavumela izingane zabo ukuba zidlale ebaleni lokudlala bese zizama izinto ezintsha ngoba ziyazi ukuthi zibahle, nakuba zingalimaza ngesikhathi esisodwa.
Ukubeletha kwamahhala okungafani akukona ngokuvumela noma ukuvulwa. Esikhundleni salokho, mayelana nokuvumela izingane zibe nenkululeko yokuthola imiphumela yemvelo yokuziphatha kwabo - uma kuphephile ukwenza kanjalo. Kubuye nangokuqinisekisa ukuthi izingane zinamakhono adinga ukuba abe ngabantu abadala abanomthwalo wemfanelo.
Kukhona imibono ehlukene ngokuphathelene nokuthi inkululeko izingane kufanele zivunyelwe ukuba nazo. Ngesikhathi abanye abazali bezwa sengathi izikhathi ziye zashintsha futhi bavumela izingane ukuba zidlale ngaphandle zingalindelekile, abanye bazizwa sengathi ukweqa ngokweqile ingozi yangempela ekuthuthukiseni kwengane.