Ukuxhashazwa kungenzeka futhi kwenzeke phakathi kwezingane ezincane; Nansi indlela ongayisiza ngayo
Abazali namuhla bayazi ukuthi ukuxhashazwa kuyinkinga, futhi sinakho ku-radar yethu. Kodwa abaningi bangase bangaqapheli ukuthi ukuhlukunyezwa kungenzeka ngesikhathi sekhanda. Lapho silungiselela izingane usuku lokuqala lwe-enkulisa futhi sizisize ukuba zikhethe isikhwama sokuqala esikoleni kanye nekhefu ibhokisi, zizithathengise izinto zokuthenga zesikole, futhi zizisize ukuba zinqobe ukuhlenga izinkulisa , ukuhlukunyezwa akunakwenzeka ukuba kube ohlwini lwabazali abaningi izinto okufanele zenziwe ngaphambi kosuku olukhulu.
Kodwa iqiniso liwukuthi ukuhlukumezeka kungenzeka enkulisa futhi kuqala neyesibili ibanga - futhi, ngokusho kochwepheshe be-bullying, ngisho nasezikoleni zasenkulisa. Futhi nakuba ukuhlukumezeka kuvame kakhulu emabangeni aphezulu, abazali bezingane ezincane kudingeka badinga izibonakaliso zokuxhashazwa kwabantwana abancane nokuthi benzeni uma ingane yabo ifakaza noma isisulu sokuxhashazwa.
"Njengabafundisi nabazali, kudingeka sibheke," kusho uJamie Ostrov, Ph.D., uprofesa onobungane we-psychology eYunivesithi eBuffalo. Ngenhlanhla, ukuziphatha ngokuxhashaza kubonakala kakhudlwana futhi kulula ukubona phakathi kwabaneminyaka yobudala. UDkt. Ostrov uthi: "Phakathi kwezingane ezincane, lezi zimo ziziphatha ngokuqondile, futhi ukuthi ngubani owenza umenzi wobugebengu owaziwayo," kusho uDkt. Ostrov. Njengoba izingane zikhula, kusho uDkt. Ostrov, ngokuvamile kuvame ukuthi abazali nabafundisi bangakwazi ukuyibona, ikakhulukazi uma ukuxhashazwa kuhlobene (ukuhleba ngomuntu othile, ngaphandle komuntu, njalonjalo).
Yikuphi ukuhlukunyezwa okubukeka ku-Kindergarten naseBangeni lokuqala
Ngenxa yokuthi izingane ezincane zisathuthukisa amakhono angokomzwelo, okungaqondakali, nezomphakathi okudingekayo ukuze kubhekane nezingxabano ngokusebenzisa amagama kanye namasu okuxazulula izinkinga, ukuziphatha okubi - njengokuthatha ithoyizi kumuntu noma ukuxosha noma ukubiza amagama - kungaba okuvame kakhulu kule minyaka.
Kodwa ukuxhaphazwa, okuphawulwe ngenhloso yokulimaza, ukungalingani kwamandla, nokuphindaphinda, kuhluke nokuhlukunyezwa okujwayelekile.
Kule minyaka yobudala, izingane zingase zilingise okuthile abakubona izingane zakudala noma abazali bathi noma benze noma into ababukele ku-TV. "Kungaba yinto abahlola ngayo njengoba bebona ukuthi ukubandakanyeka komphakathi kusesikoleni," kusho uStephanie Mihalas, Ph.D., uprofesa wesibhedlela osizayo eMnyangweni wezeMpilo kanye ne-Biobehavioral Sciences e-David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA. UDkt. Mihalas uthi: "Ukuxhashazwa phakathi kwezingane ezincane kuyisikhonkwane futhi kubonakala ngokwengeziwe." Izingane zingase zisho izinto ezinjengalezi, "Angithandi ukuthi ugqoke" noma "Isidlo sakho sasemini sinomsoco," kusho uDkt. Mihalas. Angase angafaki umuntu kumcimbi wokuzalwa noma athi, "Awukwazi ukuhlala nathi."
Kunezinhlobo ezimbili zokuhlukumezeka: ngokomzimba, okubandakanya ukushaya, ukukhahlela, ukuthatha okuthile, nokunye okunjalo, nokuxoxisana / ezenhlalakahle, okubandakanya ukukhipha umuntu, ukusakaza inhlebo mayelana nabo noma ukuhlekisa. Njengoba izingane zikhula, uzobona ambalwa amacala okuhlukumezeka ngokomzimba nokunye okuhlobene nokuhlukunyezwa, kusho uDkt. Ostrov.
Izimpawu Ezivamile Zokuxhashazwa
Uma ingane yakho ihloselwe izihlukumezi, ingase ibonise lokhu okulandelayo:
- Usizi
- Ukulahlekelwa kwesifiso
- Angifuni ukuya esikoleni
- Inkinga nezingane zakini (ukulwa okungenakuchaza, ukuhlukunyezwa)
- Shintsha ekuziphatheni
- Izimpahla ezilahlekile noma izingubo ezigqamile
- Izimpande
- Izinkinga zokulala, izinhlungu
- Ukunciphisa (njenge-bedwetting)
- Ukuhlukana kokukhathazeka
Yimiphi abantu abadala abangayenza ukusiza ingane ehlukunyezwayo
Zama lezi zindlela uma ingane yakho ixhashazwa noma uma ukhathazekile ukuthi ingane yakho ingase ihlose ukuxhashazwa:
- Khuluma nothisha wengane yakho. Njengoba kunikezwe ukuthi ukuziphatha okuxhashazayo kubonakala kanjani kubantwana abancane, abazali bangaxoxa nabothisha, abavame ukwedlula, abazi ukuthi kwenzekani, kusho uDkt. Ostrov.
- Buza mayelana nosuku lwabo, nsuku zonke. Thola isikhathi sokuxhumana nomntanakho nsuku zonke, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi udla isidlo somndeni noma ngesikhathi sokulala bese ubuza mayelana nosuku lwakhe. Buza imibuzo ethize ezokunika okungaphezu kwempendulo yebo "yebo" noma "cha", njengokuthi, "Ubani owake wadlala nayo ngesikhathi sokuphumula?" noma "Uyini ingxenye yakho engathandwa kakhulu yosuku lwakho namhlanje?"
- Idlalwa indima. Buza ingane yakho ukuthi icabange ukuthi ingasabela kanjani uma kwenzeka okuthile, njengokuthi uma umuntu eqhubeka ekhuluma noma enza lokho kusho izinto ezilimaza imizwa yazo. Khumbuza ingane yakho ngezimo ongase ufunde ngazo encwadini noma ubonwe kumabhayisikobho ndawonye lapho izinhlamvu zazihle noma zingathandeki komunye nomunye futhi zikhulume ngalokho okwakungekho nokuziphatha okuhle.
- Qaphela ukuziphatha kwakho. Bheka indlela osingatha ngayo izingxabano noma ukuxazulula izinkinga ekhaya nakwezinye izindawo. Ingabe ubaphatha abanye ngenhlonipho nangomusa? Wake wahleka umuntu othile phambi komntwana wakho? Ukuziphatha kwakho kuyisibonelo lapho ingane yakho izofunda khona ukuphatha abanye.
- Unganciphisi lokho ingane yakho ekushoyo. Uma othile evuselela ingane yakho ngokuphindaphindiwe noma eyesaba, lalela lokho akutshela khona. "Ukungaxhasi ukuxhaphaza kungabangela impendulo yesikhathi eside," kusho uDkt. Mihalas. "Yenza ingane yakho ikwazi ukuthi ukhona lapho ukusiza nokuthi uma engathokozi, kufanele akhulume nawe."
- Sebenza ngamakhono okuzimela. Nika ingane yakho amanye amathuluzi okuwasebenzisa uma othile ehlukumeza. Isibonelo, ingane yakho ingasho izinto ezinjengokuthi, "Angithandi ukuthi ungiphatha kanjani manje" noma "Ngicela ungakhulumi nami ngaleyo ndlela," kuphakamisa uDkt. Mihalas.
- Buza esikoleni sakho ingane ukuthi ihlanganise nokuvimbela ukuxhaphaza ekufundeni kwabo. Ngisho enkulisa, othisha bangakhuluma ukuthi yikuphi ukuhlukunyezwa, ukuthi kubonakala kanjani, nokuthi yini izingane ezingayenza uma zibona noma uma zenzeke kubo, kusho uDkt. Mihalas. "Othisha bangacela izingane ukuba zibe ngumngane futhi zibheke umuntu owedlule noma oshiye ngaphandle," kusho uMihalas.
Okokugcina, uma ingane yakho ingesona isisulu sokuxhashazwa kodwa isibukele ukuxhaphazwa - yiliphi iqembu izingane eziningi ezingena kuzo lapho kunesihluku esikoleni - chaza umehluko phakathi kokukhipha nokubika, kusho uDkt. Ostrov. "Chaza ukuthi ukubika kusiza ukugcina abangane bephephile ngenkathi ukuxubha kuklanyelwe ukwenza abantu bazizwe bebi."
Ngokubeka ithoni nokukhuthaza izingane ukuba zibukelelane futhi zibe nomusa futhi zizwele abanye, abazali nabafundisi bangahlakulela iphethini elihle lokulwa nokuhlukumezeka elingase liqhubekele eminyakeni ezayo yesikole nokuphila.