Yini Edingekayo Ukwakha Ubuhlobo?
Izibalo ezinzima zilukhuni ukuza, kodwa abaningi kulabo abasebenza nemindeni bathi baye babona ukuphakama: Abantu abaningi abasebasha kunanini ngaphambili baqeda izibopho nabazali babo. Kulabazali nomkhulu, lokho kuvame ukusho ukulahlekelwa othintana nabo nabazukulu babo.
Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi izingane eziningi ezindala zithi zingathanda ukubuyisela abazali babo empilweni yabo.
Cishe abangama-60% kulabo abagcwalisa ucwaningo kwi-website ye-Estranged Stories bathi bangathanda ukuba nobuhlobo nomuntu abavela kubo "manje noma esikhathini esithile esikhathini esizayo."
Ukususa Ukubuyisana
Lapho ebuzwa ukuthi kuzothatha ukuthini ukubuyisana, impendulo ethandwa kakhulu yilapho abazali befuna ukuthatha umthwalo wemfanelo. Ngokusobala lokhu kusho ukubophezela kunoma yini abazali abayenzile eyabangela ukuhlukaniswa. Inkinga ukuthi abazali abaningi bathi basesebumnyameni ngalokho okwenzekile. Phakathi kwabazali ababambe iqhaza kwi-Surranged Stories survey, 60% bathi izingane zabo zazingakaze "zihlanganyele ngokuqondile" izizathu zabo zokunqamula othintana nabo.
Ukuhlukahluka kobuzwe
Izimbangela zokuphikisana nezingane ezindala zingahluka kakhulu. Ngezinye izikhathi izingane ezikhulile zithola iphutha ngendlela abakhulela ngayo. Bangase bangaqapheli ukuthi mhlawumbe bakhule lapho ukukhulisa izingane ezigunyazayo kwakuyindlela eyamukelekayo yokukhulisa izingane.
Nakuba ukubeletha kwaqala ukuvunywa ngokwengeziwe emva kweMpi Yezwe II, kuthatha iminyaka eminingi ukuthi lolu shintsho lwenzeke, ikakhulukazi eMelika. Cishe cishe yonke leminyaka lama-20, abazali abahle basebenzisa isijeziso somuntu. Eqinisweni, babetshelwe ukuthi uma bengasisebenzisi isijeziso somuntu, baba abazali ababi.
Ngisho nabaholi benkolo bakhuthaza isijeziso somzimba. Lokho abanye abantu abangakubheka njengokuhlukumezayo namuhla kudlulela ukubeletha okuhle okwakudala okwakungekho esikhathini esidlule.
Ngokufanayo, ngezinye izikhathi izingane ezindala zizwa ukuthi azikhulisiwe njengoba zifanele. Emindenini eminingi yangesikhathi esidlule, noma kunjalo, uthando lwaluvame ukuvezwa ngamazwi noma ngokomzimba. Ukucatshangelwa kwangempela ukuthi abazali babonisa uthando lwabo ngezingane zabo ngokubakhathalela. Akekho okhathazeka kakhulu ngengqondo yengane noma ukuzethemba.
Ezinye izinkinga
Ngezinye izikhathi abantwana abadala banamathemba ngenxa yomshado ophukile wabazali babo, bavame ukusola omunye umlingani noma omunye. Enye inkinga evamile ukuthi izingane ezindala zizwa ukuthi abazali bazo abaziboni njengabantu abadala abanamandla okwenza izinqumo zabo. Kwezinye izimo, umlingani wengane yisici esihlukanisayo. Abazali bangase bangathandi noma bavume umlingani. Ukungavumi kwabo kwenza ingane ikhethe phakathi kwabazali nomlingani.
Ungabe Uzivikela
Kungenzeka ukuthi abazali bavumele ezinye zezenzo zabo ezedlule; Kodwa-ke, ukuzivikela kuyinzuzo. Uma abazali befakazela ukuthi lokho abakwenzile kwakungalungile noma kuyamukelekile, kulandela ukuthi amanye amaqembu ayiphutha ekuphenduleni kwabo, futhi ukufakazela ukuthi umuntu othile akulungile akufanele ukulungisa noma yiziphi izicingo.
Yiziphi izingane ezikhulile ezithi zifisa ukuba abazali bazo baziphathe futhi, kwezinye izimo, baxolise. Nazi ezinye izinkulumo okufanele zisebenze:
- Ngiyaxolisa.
- Ngiyaqonda imizwa yakho.
- Ngiyazi ukuthi ngenza amaphutha.
- Ngingase ngisekele ngokwengeziwe (okuwusizo, ukuqonda, uthando, njll).
Ungenzi Isikhalo Somzwelo
Ngokuvamile abazali bafuna ukukhuluma ukuthi ubuhlungu obunzima obubangelwa nabo bubangele kanjani. Izingane ezikhulile ezithathe isenzo esinqunyelwe kakhulu sokunqamula othintana nabo ngeke zithinte izinhlungu zabazali bazo. Kungenzeka ukuthi bangashukunyiswa ikakhulukazi nosizi lwabazali nomkhulu ngenxa yokungaboni abazukulu.
Qhubeka Nokuxoxa
Kungathatha isikhathi esingaphezulu kwesisodwa kumzali ngaphambi kokuba ingane ivume ukusebenza ukuze kuxolelane, kodwa ama-overture akufanele abe nomuzwa wokuthi ukuhlukunyezwa. Konke okudingekayo kuyisiluleko esilula sokuhlangana ndawonye ngesenzakalo esiphansi sokucindezeleka okufana nesidlo sakusihlwa noma ukuphuma. Uma ngabe i-overture isenqatshiwe, abazali kufanele balinde isikhashana bese bezama futhi.
Uma ukubuyisana kuhluleka
Uma ukuzama ukubuyisela ubuhlobo buhlulekile, unogogo nomkhulu bayaboshwa ngempela. Ingabe bayalahla ithemba lokubona abazukulu babo?
Ngezinye izikhathi ukuxoxisana kuyisinyathelo esilandelayo esilandelayo. Uma ukuxoxisana kwehluleka, noma uma amanye amaqembu engathandi, abanye ugogo nomkhulu bazobheka isenzo sezomthetho, kodwa kuningi ukuthi okhulu nomkhulu kufanele bazi ngaphambi kokufuna amalungelo okuvakasha. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uma abazukulu behlala emndenini ongenamathele, ugogo nomkhulu ngeke bakwazi ukunqoba ukuvakashelwa enkantolo.
Ungafunda nokuthi nini lapho abazali abadala 'behlukanisa' abazali babo.