Omunye Uhlangothi Lusondela Kakhulu Kwabazukulu
Bonke ogogo nomkhulu abadalwa ngokulinganayo. Zombili izinhlolo zesayensi nobufakazi be-anecdotal bubonisa ukuthi ogogo nomkhulukazi bomama basondelene kakhulu nabazukulu kunokhokho noyise. Isigaba esivamile sihamba kanje, esivela esiseduzane nakakhulu kakhulu: ugogo kamama, umkhulukazi womama, umkhulu kayise, umkhulu kayise. Ngaphandle kwalokho, okwenzekayo kwenzeka.
Izizathu Zokuhlukahluka
Abanye bakholelwa ukuthi umehluko ngenxa yendima yabazali njengabalindisango phakathi kogogo nomkhulu nabazali. Naphezu kokukhula kokulingana ngokobulili, omama basengakwazi ukuqondisa imisebenzi yezingane zabo. Bangase banikeze ukubaluleka okukhulu ukuxhumana nabazali babo.
Abanye bakholelwa ukuthi ubuhlobo phakathi kowesifazane nomamazala wakhe - ugogo kayise wezingane zakhe - luzobe luyinkimbinkimbi njalo. Okushoyo ngomuntu obaluleke kakhulu, udluliselwe kusuka kumama ukuya komkami. Intukuthelo enkulu kanye nokuncintisana kungokwemvelo. Noma kunjalo, kungase kume endleleni yobuhlobo obuseduze, okungenzeka futhi bube endleleni yokusondelana phakathi komkhulu nomzukulu. Mhlawumbe omamazala bavame ukugxekwa ngokungafanele, kodwa ezinye izingxabano zakhiwa indima.
Ososayensi banikeza incazelo ehlukile, ingqungquthela yokuziphendukela kwemvelo, okuyinto ezinye izibukeli ezithathayo.
Le ncazelo yesayensi ibonisa ukuthi omama bahlale beqiniseka ukuthi bangabantwana bezingane zabo, kuyilapho kungase kube khona ukungaqiniseki engqondweni kababa. Ngaphambi kokuba kuhlolwe i-DNA, ubaba wayenendlela elula yokufakazela ukuthi ingane ithi ngempela imithwalo yakhe. Lokho kuhamba ngokuphindaphindiwe ukuthi umkhulu uyabuza ukuthi umzukulu wakhe empeleni ungumzukulu wakhe.
Ngakho-ke ugogo wakhe omama uyazi ngokuqiniseka okungaba ngu-100% ukuthi umzukulu wakhe uhlobene nofuzo. Unogogo womama noma ukhulukazi kayise unesigamu saleso siqiniseko, futhi umkhulu kayise akaqiniseki nhlobo.
Yiqiniso, ezinye izinto eziningi zithinta ukusondelana kobuhlobo. Ukubumbana kwezwe kubalulekile, nakuba ugogo nomkhulu bangakwazi ukunqoba ibanga. Isimo sokuqashwa kukagogo, impilo, isimo sezomnotho nobuntu kungase kube nezici ezinamandla. Okunye okuguquguqukayo kuyinani labazukulu ugogo nomkhulu. Unogogo nabazukulu abaningi bangathola kunzima ukuchitha isikhathi sekhwalithi nokubopha ngamunye.
Ukubambisana kokuqala
Okuthandwa kakhulu nogogo nomama obeletha kuqala, kanti ugogokazi omama kungenzeka ukuba amenywe ekamelweni lokulethwa . Ngokufanayo, ugogo wengane kungenzeka ukuba akwazi ukusiza ngemuva kokuzalwa kwengane, ukusiza ukuboshwa kokuqala nomzukulu. Ugogo nomkhulu obophezela ekutholeni umzukulu cishe amathuba okuba abuze ukuba abuyele emtholampilo ngemuva kwesikhathi futhi kungenzeka ukuthi angene emisebenzini yesikole lapho umzukulu eqala esikoleni.
Intsha kanye nogogo nomkhulu
Ukufundiswa kwentsha kubonisa ukuthi inzuzo ka ugogo kamama akukhiphi isikhathi.
Izifundo zabazukulu bezingane zithandeka kakhulu, ngoba intsha kungenzeka ukuthi ikhulile ngokwanele ukuqala ukuxhumana nogogo nomkhulu ngokwabo, futhi ngoba bekhulile ngokwanele ukuze bafake iziphetho ezifanele mayelana nobuhlobo.
Kwesinye isifundo sezingane ezisencane zaseBrithani, abayisishiyagalolunye kwabangu-10 bathi unina wabo omama wayeyilungu lomndeni elibaluleke kakhulu ngaphandle komndeni wakubo. Umkhulukazi womama wayekulandelayo. Ukuvulwa kwaphakanyiswa, ngokusho kwentsha, ngokubandakanyeka empilweni yabo yesikole. Ngaphezu kwalokho, izingane eziyisishiyagalolunye kwabayishumi zithi amakhulu omama ababeletha babekhulume ngekusasa labo kanye nabo futhi banikeze intsha iseluleko esihle.
( Avon Longitudinal Study of Abazali Nezingane, University of Bristol, 2007)
Lapho Ukuhamba Kuthola Isisindo
Izindima zogogo nomama ozala omama bavame ukuhlukana kakhulu uma abazali bezingane zabo behlukanisa. Naphezu kokuthuthukiswa kokulingana ngokobulili, kuphela oyedwa kwabayisithupha obaba othole ukugcinwa okuyisisekelo ngemuva kwesahlukaniso . Uma umama ephumelela ekugcineni, ugogo nomkhulu obelethayo bavame ukungenelela ekugcwaliseni izikhala ekuzalaneni nasekuhlinzekeni ukuzinza emndenini. Kule nqubo, bathambekele ekujwayeleni abazukulu babo. Lokhu kungase kwenzeke nogogo nomkhulu kayise lapho ubaba ethola imvume, kodwa lokho kuyisenzakalo esingajwayelekile.
Uma unina ephumelela ukugcina isahlukaniso ngemuva kokuhlukanisa, ugogo nomkhulu ugogo bakhe bathambekele ekuboneni abazukulu babo ngaphansi. Nokho, bangase badlale indima ebalulekile ekugqugquzelaneni nokuxhumana phakathi kwezingane nemindeni yaboyise.
Ukuphila Okujwayelekile
Okuthandwa kogogo nomkhulukazi omama akucaci uma kuziwa ngokuphila okuhlukahlukene. Uma abantu abasha behlanganyela emindenini nabazali babo, izici zenkambiso kungenzeka ukuthi zizokwazi ukuthi zizohamba yini nogogo noma omkhulu kayise. Yiqiniso, ezinye izinto ezifana nendawo kanye nezomnotho zingaphezu kwamaphethini amasiko.
Emindenini yaseNdiya, e-Bangladeshi nasePakistan, abazali abasha kulindeleke ukuba bahlale nogogo nomkhulu kayise. Emasikweni aseCaribbean, kungenzeka kulindeleke ukuba bahlale nogogo nomkhulu bomama.
Ngokuvamile, umhlophe, uhlanga oluxubile, imindeni yaseNtsundu naseCaribbean kungenzeka ukuthi ihlala nogogo nomkhulu bomama. Kwesinye isiteleka sabasha abaseBrithani, 74% bathi ngeke bakucabange ukuthi ugogo wabo omama wayehlala nabo, kanti u-54% usho kanjena nogogo waboyise. ( Ukuguga kanye neNhlangano )
Ngokufigqiwe
Akudingeki ukuthi, umzamo owenziwa ngugogo nomkhulu njalo uzoba yinto enkulu kunazo zonke ukuthi ngabe ogogo nomkhulu nabazukulu babe nobuhlobo obuseduze. Ugogo nomkhulu abafuna ukuhileleka empilweni yabazukulu babo kodwa okwamanje abahlonipha izindima zabazali banethuba elikhulu lokuphumelela. Futhi lokhu kuyiqiniso kungakhathaliseki isikhundla sabo emndenini.