Abafazi nabamama bangase babe nomuzwa wokuthi kuyadingeka ukuncintisana
Ezweni lanamuhla, imibono yethu mayelana nezindima zobulili iye yavulelwa amakhanda. Kodwa-ke, amaphethini ashukumise ukuziphatha komuntu amakhulu eminyaka ayesenamandla, ikakhulukazi uma amalungu ezizukulwane ezidala abandakanyeka. Eminye yale mikhombandlela endala ibandakanya ubuhlobo phakathi koomama namadodana abo amakhulu. Ngezinye izikhathi ama-paradigms aqhubeka ngisho nalapho amadodana amadala engamadoda nobaba.
Umkami Uphikisana Nezimpi Zomama
Ubuhlobo obuqinile nomama buyisimo esihle sokuphila komshado ojabulisayo. Abesifazane bahlonishwa kabanzi ngokukhuthaza izingane ukuba zihlakaniphe ngokomzwelo , futhi indodana ehlaziya ngokuhlakanipha kwengqondo cishe ingase iqonde kangcono umkayo. Umuntu onjalo futhi kungenzeka ukuthi angenqabe ukuthunyelwa kwe-macho.
Nakuba engase abone ithonya elihle lomama, umfazi naye angase aphikisana nomamazala wakhe. Angase abe nomhawu omncane ngendima eqhubekayo kamama ekuphileni komntanakhe. Ngokwengxenye yomama, lapho esuswa endaweni yakhe njengomuntu oyinhloko empilweni yendodana yakhe, ukuhlukunyezwa nomuntu ohlukunyezwayo kungenakugwemeka. Indoda ezwa ukuthi ibanjwe phakathi ingase isabele ngokukhipha emkhakheni wezempi, kodwa umama noma umfazi ngeke bazuze lapho lo muntu eyi-AWOL. Ngenxa yalokho, le ndoda ilahlekelwa futhi.
Lapho Omama Bodwa
Izingxabano zingase zikhungatheke uma omama behlukanisile , abafelokazi noma abangashadile.
Ngesinye isikhathi umama u-christed indodana yakhe indoda yendlu futhi usethembele kuye ngendlela engafanele. Futhi, lapho ugogo nomkhulu bobabili besendaweni yesehlakalo, bavame ukuba nomthelela wokulinganisela kokuziphatha komunye nomunye, basizane ukuze babone ukuthi bawelaphi imingcele engafanele iphulwe.
Ukulondoloza Ukulinganisela
Kungcono uma bonke ababambiqhaza bezama ukugcina ibhalansi yemvelo ebuhlotsheni babo. Yiqiniso, umfazi womuntu kufanele eze kuqala, kodwa kufanele kube nesikhathi esithile namandla akhe asele kumama wakhe. Futhi bobabili umkami nomama kufanele bazimisele ngokumelana nanoma yisiphi isimo lapho indoda ezofanele ikhethe phakathi kwalaba ababili. Ngomama, lokhu kusho ukuthi:
- Ungabuzi indodana yakho ukuthi ikuenzele izinto uma uneminye imithombo ukuze uyenze - uma, ngokwesibonelo, ungakwazi ukukhokha othile ukuyenza.
- Melana nesifiso sokuphakamisa izixazululo ezinkingeni ingane yakho nomkakhe abangaba nayo. Zizokhula njengoba zihlangana nezinkinga ndawonye.
- Zama ukuphatha indodana yakho nomkakhe ngokulinganayo. Khuluma nabo bobabili uma ushayele ucingo, uma bobabili bekhona. Sebenzisa imali efanayo ngezipho zabo.
- Endabeni yezipho, ngaso sonke isikhathi uyazisa noma yisiphi isipho osithola. Ungalokothi uthathe lutho ngaphandle uma kuwukushintshaniswa okulula njengokusayizi okuhlukile. Gqoka noma ubonise izipho ozinikezwayo.
- Njalo, njalo uqaphele ukuthi ungumkhulu ugogo hhayi umzali wabazukulu bakho. Lalela imithetho yabazali futhi uhloniphe imingcele yabo.
Abesifazane njenge-Kin Keepers
Isaga esidala sithi, "Indodana yindodana kuze kube yilapho ithatha umfazi.
Indodakazi iyindodakazi yokuphila kwayo yonke. "Leli catshulwa liveza umbono wokuthi lapho umbhangqwana ushadile, ngokuvamile bahlala bebuhlobo obuseduze nomunye umndeni kunomunye, futhi ngokuvamile kuyindlela yokutadisha. ukuthi ugogo nomkhulukazi omama bavame ukuba nezibopho ezinamandla nabantwana abadala kanye nabazukulu kunokuba ugogo nomkhulu babazali.
Ubuhlobo obukhulu kakhulu nogogo nomkhulukazi bomama bangalandelwa emisebenzini yabesifazane abakhonza ngokuthi "abagcini bemindeni." "Umgcini womndeni" womndeni ngumuntu ogcina izibopho namalungu omndeni owandisiwe. Lowo muntu cishe ungumfazi kunomyeni, ngisho nasemphakathini wanamuhla okhululwa.
Lokhu kusho ukuthi emndenini wendodana, kungenzeka ukuthi umfazi uhlela ikhalenda yomndeni. Futhi ngenhloso noma ngokungaqondile, angase ahluleke ukwazisa ugogo nomkhulu ngemindeni yomndeni noma, ngokumane ukhulume nabo kaningi kangako, ubagcine ngaphandle kwe-loop. Abomama bangathatha inhlanhla ngokuqala ukuxhumana, kodwa inselelo iwukuhlala ekuthinteni ngaphandle kokungena enhliziyweni.
Imithetho Yokuhlala Isondelene
Ukukhulumisana nezingane ezindala kudinga amakhono athile, kodwa lamakhono angafundwa. Ngokuvamile, qhubeka uzikhumbuza ukuthi ukhuluma nabantu abadala. Bahloniphe njengoba ungathanda abanye abantu abadala. Khumbula ukulalela ngempela lokho okushoyo.
Amakholi wefoni ayindlela enhle yokuxhumana, kodwa izingcingo kufanele zifushane kakhulu. Omama kufanele bagweme ukushayela izikhathi ezinzima, njengesikhathi sokudla noma lapho izingane zilele. Yiqiniso, akuyona umqondo omuhle ukushayela kamuva, lapho ukusondelana komzali kungaphazanyiswa! Uma ungabaza ukuthi yisikhathi esihle sokushayela ucingo, zama umlayezo wombhalo kunalokho. Uma ucingo, kuhle ukubuza imibuzo ethize. "Ingabe uBobby unomdlalo kuleli sonto?" kungcono kunalokho "Yini entsha nezingane?"
Ukuvakashelwa enye indlela yokugcina ukuxhumana, kepha kungase kube yingozi ekuvumelaneni komndeni. Omama abahlala eduze nomndeni wendodana kufanele bahluke ukuvakashelwa kaningi, ukugcina ukuvakashelwa okufushane futhi kungalokothi, behlehlise phansi. Abomama abahlala kude ukusuka endodaneni bavame ukuvakashela futhi balindele ukuhlala isikhathi eside. Ukuvakashelwa okunjalo kungaba kuhle kuzo zonke izizukulwane, kodwa umthwalo ungumama ukuba abe isivakashi sendlu enhle futhi ugcine ukuvakashelwa kuvumelana.