Thatha izinyathelo zokusiza izingane zivuselele ngokushesha
Njengoba umshado uphazamiseka, abanye abazali bazithola bebuza imibuzo enjengokuthi, "Ingabe kufanele sihlale ndawonye ndawonye izingane?" Abanye abazali bathola isehlukaniso kuyindlela yabo kuphela.
Futhi nakuba bonke abazali bengase babe nokukhathazeka okuningi engqondweni yabo-kusukela esikhathini esizayo sesimo sabo sokuphila kuze kube nokungaqiniseki kokuhlelwa kwesigceme-bangase bakhathazeke kakhulu ngokuthi izingane zizobhekana kanjani nesahlukaniso.
Ngakho yimuphi umphumela wengqondo wehlukaniso ezinganeni? Abacwaningi bathi kuxhomeke. Ngenkathi isahlukaniso sigxila kubo bonke abantwana , ezinye izingane zibuyele ngokushesha kunabanye.
Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi, abazali bangathatha izinyathelo zokunciphisa imiphumela yengqondo yokuhlukanisa izingane. Amasu ambalwa okusekela abazali angasiza kakhulu ekusizeni izingane zivumelane nezinguquko ezilethwe ngesehlukaniso.
Unyaka Wokuqala Emva Kwesehlukaniso Nguyena okhuthele kakhulu
Izinga lokushada liye lakhuphuka emhlabeni jikelele eminyakeni embalwa edlule. Kulinganiselwa ukuthi izingane ezingamaphesenti angu-48 zamaMelika naseBrithani zihlala ezindlini zomzali oyedwa ezihlukanisile zinezinsuku ezingu-16.
Njengoba ungalindela, ucwaningo luye lwathola ukuthi izingane zihlukumeza kakhulu phakathi nonyaka wokuqala noma ezimbili ngemuva kokuhlukanisa. Izingane cishe zizobhekana nokucindezeleka, intukuthelo, ukukhathazeka nokungakholwa. Kodwa izingane eziningi zibukeka zibuyela emuva. Bajwayele ukushintsha emisebenzini yabo yansuku zonke futhi bakhula bekhululekile ngamalungiselelo abo okuphila.
Kodwa-ke, abanye abasoze babukeka sengathi babuyela "evamile." Le ncani encane yezingane ingase iqhubekele phambili-mhlawumbe ngisho nezinkinga zokuphila ngemva kokuhlukana kwabazali babo.
Ukuhlukaniswa Kokuhlukunyezwa Kwemizwelo Kuzingane
Ukuhlukanana kudala ukukhathazeka ngokomzwelo kulo lonke umndeni, kodwa kubantwana, isimo singasabeka, sidideke futhi sikhungathekise:
- Izingane ezincane zivame ukuhlupha ukuqonda ukuthi kungani kufanele zihambe phakathi kwamakhaya amabili. Bangase bakhathazeke ngokuthi uma abazali babo beyeka ukuthandana ngelinye ilanga, abazali babo bangase bayeke ukubathanda.
- Abantwana beBanga lesikole bangase bakhathazeke ngokuthi isehlukaniso yisiphambeko sabo. Bangase besabe ukuthi bangalungile noma bangase bacabange ukuthi benze okuthile okungalungile.
- Intsha ingathukuthela kakhulu ngesahlukaniso futhi izinguquko zakha. Bangase basole umzali oyedwa ngokuqedwa komshado noma bangamcasula oyedwa noma bobabili abazali ngenxa yokukhathazeka emndenini.
Yiqiniso, isimo ngasinye sihlukile. Ezimweni ezimbi kakhulu, ingane ingase izwe ikhululekile ukuhlukaniswa-uma isehlukaniso kusho ukuphikisana okuncane nokucindezeleka okuncane.
Izenzakalo Ezicindezelayo Ezihambisana Nesehlukaniso
Ukwahlukanisa ngokuvamile kusho ukuthi izingane zilahlekelwa oxhumana nabo nsuku zonke nomzali oyedwa-ngokuvamile obaba. Ukunciphisa ukuxhumana kuthinta isibopho somzali nengane nabacwaningi bathole ukuthi izingane eziningi zizizwa zingasondelene nobaba ngemva kokuhlukanisa.
Ukwahlukanisa nakho kuthinta ubuhlobo bomntwana nomzali wokulondoloza-ikakhulukazi omama. Abanakekeli abayinhloko bavame ukubika amazinga aphezulu okucindezeleka ahlobene nokubeletha okukodwa. Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi omama bavame ukusekela kancane futhi abathandeki emva kokuhlukanisa.
Ukwengeza, ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi isiyalo sabo senziwa kancane futhi sisebenza kahle.
Kwezinye izingane, ukwehlukana kwabazali akuyona ingxenye eyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu. Kunalokho, ukucindezeleka okuhambisana nalokhu yilokho okwenza isahlukaniso kube nzima kakhulu. Ukushintsha izikole, ukuthuthela ekhaya elisha, nokuhlala nomzali ongayedwa ozwa sengathi unama-frazzled ambalwa nje kunezingcindezi ezengeziwe ezenza isahlukaniso sibe nzima.
Izinkinga zemali nazo zivame ukulandela isehlukaniso. Imindeni eminingi kufanele ithuthele emakhaya amancane noma ishintshe amakhelwane futhi kaningi inemithombo yezinto ezincane ezimbalwa.
Ukushada futhi Ukulungiswa Okuqhubekayo
E-United States, iningi labantu abadala liphinde lashade phakathi kweminyaka emine kuya kwemihlanu emva kokuhlukanisa.
Lokhu kusho ukuthi izingane eziningi zibekezelela izinguquko eziqhubekayo emndenini wabo womndeni.
Ukwengezwa komzali wesinyathelo futhi mhlawumbe izinyathelo eziningana kungaba esinye ishintsho esikhulu. Futhi ngokuvamile abazali bobabili baphinde bashade, okusho izinguquko eziningi ezinganeni. Izinga lokuhluleka kwemishado yesibili liphakeme nakakhulu kunemishado yokuqala. Izingane eziningi zithola ukuhlukana okuhlukene nokuhlukanisa phakathi neminyaka.
Ukwahlukanisa Kungangandisa Ingozi Yezinkinga Zempilo Yengqondo
Ukwehlukanisa kungandisa ukwanda kwezinkinga zempilo yengqondo ezinganeni nasebancane. Kungakhathaliseki ubudala, ubulili, namasiko, izifundo zibonisa izingane zabazali abahlukanisile nakho kwanda izinkinga zengqondo.
Ukuhlukanana kungabangela ukulungiswa kwengxabano ezinganeni ezixazulula ezinyangeni ezimbalwa. Kodwa, ucwaningo luye lwathola ukuthi ukucindezeleka nokukhathazeka kwamazinga kuphakeme ezinganeni ezivela kubazali abahlukanisile.
Ukwahlukanisa Kungabandisa Izinkinga Zokuziphatha
Izingane ezivela emindenini ehlukanisiwe zingase zithole izinkinga ezingaphezulu, njengokukhathazeka kokuziphatha, ukwehlukana, nokuziphatha okungazenzisi kunabantwana abavela emindenini yabazali ababili. Ngaphandle kwezinkinga zokuziphatha ezikhulayo, izingane zingase zithole ukungqubuzana kakhudlwana noontanga ngemva kwesahlukaniso.
Ukwahlukanisa Kungathinta Ukusebenza Kwezemfundo
Izingane ezivela emindenini ehlukanisiwe azenzi kahle esikoleni. Izifundo zibonisa izingane ezivela emindenini ehlukanisiwe nazo zifaka amaphuzu aphansi ekuvivinyweni okuphumelelayo. Isehlukaniso sabazali siye sahlotshaniswa namazinga aphezulu okukhishwa kwamanani kanye namazinga aphezulu okulahla.
Izingane Ezinabazali Abahlukanisile Kungenzeka Kakhulu Ukuthatha Izingozi
Izingane ezisencane nabazali abahlukanisile zingase zihlanganyele ekuziphatheni okunobungozi, njengokusetshenziswa kwezidakamizwa kanye nokusebenza kocansi okuqala. E-United States, intsha enabazali abahlukanisile isiphuza ngaphambili futhi ibika utshwala obuphakeme, inambuzane, ugwayi nokusetshenziswa kwezidakamizwa kunabangane babo.
Intsha enabazali abahlukanisile lapho beneminyaka emihlanu noma encane yayisengozini enkulu yokuzibandakanya ngokocansi ngaphambi kokuba baneminyaka eyi-16. Ukuhlukana kwabazali bokuqala kuhlotshaniswa nezinombolo eziphezulu zabalingani bocansi ngesikhathi sobusha.
Izinkinga Ezingakhula Ekukhuleni
Kuyingcosana encane yezingane, imiphumela yengqondo yehlukaniso ingase ibe yesikhathi eside. Ezinye izifundo ziye zaxhuna isehlukaniso sabazali ekukhuleni izinkinga zempilo yengqondo, izinkinga zokusetshenziswa kwezidakamizwa, kanye nezifo zokwelapha izifo zengqondo ngesikhathi sezikhulile.
Ucwaningo oluningi luhlinzeka ubufakazi bokuthi isahlukaniso sabazali singathinta impumelelo encane ekukhuleni kwabantu abadala, ngokuphathelene nemfundo, umsebenzi, kanye nobuhlobo bomshado. Abantu abadala abanolwazi lokuhlukanisa ebuntwaneni bavame ukuba nokutholakala okuphansi kwemfundo nokusebenza kanye nemisebenzi eminingi nezinkinga zomnotho.
Abantu abadala ababhekana nokuhlukana phakathi nengane bangase babe nobudlelwane obuningi obuningi. Izinga lokuhlukanisa liphakeme kakhulu kubantu abazali babo abahlukanisile.
Abazali badlala indima enkulu endleleni izingane ezilungisa ngayo isehlukaniso. Nanka amanye amasu anganciphisa isahlukaniso sobungqingili kwengqondo onabantwana:
- Umzali nomzali ngokuthula. Ukungqubuzana okukhulu phakathi kwabazali kuye kwaboniswa ukwandisa ukucindezeleka kwezingane. Inzondo enkulu, njengokumemeza nokwesongana kuye kwaxhunyaniswa nezinkinga zokuziphatha ezinganeni. Kodwa ukungezwani okuncane kungakhuphula nokucindezeleka kwengane. Uma unzima ukusebenzisana nomlingani wakho wangaphambili, funa usizo lochwepheshe.
- Ungabeki izingane phakathi. Ukucela izingane ukuthi zikhethe umzali abazithandayo kakhulu noma ukuzinikeza imiyalezo yokunikeza abanye abazali akufanele. Izingane ezithola zitholwe phakathi zivame ukuzwa ukucindezeleka nokukhathazeka.
- Gcina ubuhlobo obuhle nengane yakho. Ukukhulumisana okuhle, ukufudumala komzali, namazinga aphansi ezingxabano kungasiza izingane zilungele ukuhlukanisa kangcono. Ubuhlobo obuhle bomzali nabantwana buye lwaboniswa ukusiza izingane ukuba zenze ukuzihlonipha okuphakeme nokusebenza okungcono kwezemfundo ngemuva kwesahlukaniso.
- Sebenzisa ukuziphatha okuqhubekayo. Yakha imithetho efanelekile futhi ulandele nemiphumela uma kunesidingo. Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuqeqeshwa okuphumelelayo ngemuva kokuhlukanisa kunciphisa ukuhlukumezeka nokuthuthukisa ukusebenza kwezemfundo.
- Qapha izingane eziseduze. Lapho abazali beqaphela lokho abakwenzayo futhi abasebenzisa isikhathi sabo, intsha ingabonakali kangako ukuveza izinkinga zokuziphatha ngemuva kokuhlukanisa. Lokho kusho ithuba elincishisiwe lokusebenzisa izinto nezinkinga ezimbalwa zemfundo.
- Ukunika amandla ingane yakho. Izingane ezingabaza ukuthi zikwazi kanjani ukubhekana nezinguquko nalabo abazibheka njengezisulu ezingenakuzisiza cishe banenkinga yezempilo yengqondo. Fundisa ingane yakho ukuthi nakuba kunzima ukubhekana nehlukaniso kunzima, unamandla okwengqondo ukubhekana nayo.
- Fundisa amakhono okubhekana nokubhekana ngqo. Izingane ezinamaqhinga okubhekana nokusebenzisana, njengamakhono okuxazulula izinkinga namakhono okulungisa kabusha okuqondayo, zivumelane kangcono nokuhlukanisa. Fundisa ingane yakho indlela yokuphatha imicabango yakhe, imizwa yakhe, kanye nokuziphatha ngendlela enempilo.
- Siza ingane yakho izwe iphephile futhi ivikelekile. Ukwesaba ukulahlwa nokukhathazeka ngekusasa kungabangela ukukhathazeka okuningi. Kodwa ukusiza ingane yakho ukuzizwa ithandwayo, iphephile futhi ivikelekile kunganciphisa ingozi yezinkinga zempilo yengqondo.
- Yiya ohlelweni lwemfundo yabazali. Kunezinhlelo eziningi ezitholakalayo ukusiza ukunciphisa umthelela wesahlukaniso onabantwana. Abazali bafundiswa amakhono kanye namasu okukhulisa abazali ekusizeni izingane ukuba zibhekane nokulungiswa.
- Funa usizo lobuchwepheshe wena. Ukunciphisa izinga lokucindezeleka kungaba usizo ekusizeni ingane yakho. Zama ukuzinakekela futhi ucabange ukwelapha okukhuluma noma ezinye izinsiza ukukusiza ulungise izinguquko emndenini wakho.
Ingabe Abantwana Bangcono Uma Abazali Bashadile?
Naphezu kokuthi isehlukaniso sinzima emindenini, ukuhlala ndawonye ngenxa yabantwana kungase kungabi yindlela engcono kakhulu. Izingane ezihlala emakhaya ezinokuphikisana okuningi, inzondo, nokunganeliseki zingase zibe engozini enkulu yokuthuthukisa izinkinga zempilo yengqondo nezinkinga zokuziphatha.
Nini Ukufuna Usizo Ingane Yakho
Kungokwemvelo ukuba izingane zihlukane nemizwa yazo nokuziphatha kwazo ngokushesha ngemva kokuhlukaniswa kwabazali. Kodwa, uma izinkinga zengane yakho noma izinkinga zokuziphatha ziqhubeka, funa usizo lochwepheshe . Qala ngokukhuluma nodokotela wezingane wengane yakho . Xoxa ngezinto ozikhathazayo bese ubuza ukuthi ngabe ingane yakho ingadinga ukwesekwa kochwepheshe. Ukudluliselwa kokwelashwa okukhuluma noma ezinye izinsizakalo zokusekela kunganconywa.
Ukwelashwa ngabanye kungasiza ingane yakho ukuba ihlehlise imizwelo yakhe. Ukwelashwa komndeni kungabuye kunconywe ukubhekana nezinguquko kumadenki omndeni. Eminye imiphakathi inikeza amaqembu asekela izingane. Amaqembu okusekela avumela izingane ezinhlotsheni ezithile ukuba zihlangabezane nezinye izingane ezingase zibhekane nezinguquko ezifanayo kusakhiwo somndeni.
> Imithombo:
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> Cronin S, Becher EH, Mccann E, Mcguire J, Powell S. Ukungqubuzana kobudlelwane kanye nemiphumela evela ohlelweni lwezemfundo yesahlukaniso. Ukuhlola nokuhlela uhlelo . 2017; 62: 49-55.
> Donahue KL, Donofrio BM, Bates JE, Lansford JE, Dodge KA, Pettit GS. Ukuvezwa Kokuqala Kwabazali Ukuzibandakanya Ubudlelwane: Impumelelo Yokuziphatha Ngokwezocansi Nokucindezeleka Ekukhuleni. I-Journal ye-Health Adolescent . 2010; 47 (6): 547-554.
> Pollak S. Izinkinga ebuntwaneni kanye nomthelela wazo empilweni yengqondo kuyo yonke inkambo yokuphila. I-European Psychiatry . 2016; 33.
> Sun Y, Li Y. Isehlukaniso sabazali, usayizi we-sibship, izinsiza zomndeni, nokusebenza kwezemfundo kwezingane. Ucwaningo lwesayensi yezenhlalakahle . 2009; 38 (3): 622-634.