Amathiphu Okuzigcina Uqinisile
Kungathatha isikhashana ukuthola ukunyathela kwakho njengomzali ongashadile. Uma uphakathi kwengxabano, ngaphakathi kwakho noma nge-ex yakho, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi ungubani nokuthi yini omelelayo. Yilokho ukubeletha okukodwa okuqotho okuphathelene nakho konke.
Ukubeletha Ongabodwa Ngokwethembeka
Emiphakathini Eyisishiyagalombili Yabantu Abasebenza Ngokuphumelelayo , uDkt. Stephen Covey uchaza ubuqotho ngokuthi "ukugcina izithembiso nokufeza okulindelweyo." Ukuba nobuqotho kugcina izwi lakho, uma kulula futhi uma kungenjalo.
Kuqinisekisa ukuthi izenzo zakho zifanisa lokho okusho ukuthi uzokwenza, futhi kufaka ukugcina izwi lakho kubantwana bakho, ex yakho, nomndeni wakho owandisiwe-njengawe. Ake sihlole amathiphu okuthi ungabashada kanjani umzali ngobuqotho kuzo zonke izinselelo ohlangabezana nazo.
Ngezinye izikhathi, ukugcina izwi lakho kubantwana bakho nokugcina izwi lakho ku-ex yakho kungaphikisana. Futhi lokho kudonsa-ngezindlela ezimbili noma ngaphezulu-kwenza kube nzima ukuphatha ukungqubuzana nobuqotho. Njengoba uMnu. Scot Peck, umbhali weThe Road Less Traveled , uthi: "Inkinga yokuhlukanisa lokho esiyikho nokuthi yini engekho ebhekene nalokhu kuphila ingenye yezinkinga ezinkulu kakhulu zokuphila kwabantu."
Okwenza izinto zilukhuni nakakhulu ukuthi ungase ubhekane nempi ephikisanayo ephikisanayo noma umzali oyedwa ophethe i-ajenda yakhe siqu. Uma usuphikisana nohlobo lobuhlobo bomzali obambisene nabo, usuvele ukhona-ujwayelene nephethini lokudubula izinto ezungeze ukuze usebenzise lesi simo noma ushayele idrama ngaso sonke isikhathi.
Amandla Okuthembeka Kubazali Abangabodwa
Ngakho-ke yini i-antidote yokungqubuzana kwangaphakathi nangaphandle? Ukuphendula ngobuqotho. Futhi uma umzali ongabodwa ngobuqotho kusho ukugcina izithembiso zakho, khona-ke kufanele ucacise ngalezo zithembiso. Ngokwesibonelo:
Izithembiso ezinganeni zakho . Mhlawumbe wenza izithembiso zomlomo ezinganeni zakho ngaso sonke isikhathi, njengokuthi "Sizohamba sibone leyo movie kule mpelasonto," noma "Ngizobe ngisemdlalweni wakho." Kodwa ezinye izithembiso zikhona ngaphakathi emathunjini akho, futhi uhlala ngazo, ngisho noma ungakaze uwakhulume ngokuzwakalayo.
Ngokwesibonelo:
- Ngizibophezele ekukhuthazeni izingane zami ukuthi zibe nobuhlobo obunenzuzo nomuntu wami wangaphambili.
- Ngithembisa ukungivumela izingane zibe izingane. Ngeke ngibaphoqe ukuba bakhule ngokushesha kakhulu ngokuzifihla ngokuphathelene nabo mayelana nemibandela yami yabantu abadala.
- Ngithanda izingane zami ngokungenasisekelo, futhi ngifuna okungcono kakhulu kunabo engikufunayo okungcono kakhulu kimi,
Izithembiso ku-ex yakho . Kungenzeka ukuthi awuzange ukhulume lezi zithembiso ngokuzwakalayo, noma, futhi kulungile. Lezi zithembiso ozenzayo ekuzuzeni izingane zakho, hhayi ezakho. Izibonelo zifaka:
- Ngizosekela ubuhlobo bami bokuqala nabantwana bami.
- Ngeke ngiphikisane ne-ex yami phambi kwezingane zami.
- Ngizokwenza ngiphathe i-ex yangu, ngendlela efanayo, ngingathanda ukuthi (noma) angiphathe.
Izithembiso kumndeni wakho we-ex . Lezi zibophezelo nazo zenzelwe inzuzo yengane yakho. Zihlanganisa:
- Ngizokhuthaza izingane zami ukuba nobuhlobo nabazali bami bokuqala kanye namanye amalungu omndeni.
- Ngeke ngibambe umndeni wami wangaphambili ukuthi unesibopho sokuziphatha kwakhe. (Ngemuva kwakho konke, njengomuntu omdala, i-ex yakho ibophezele ukukhetha kwakhe.)
- Ngizobaphatha, ngendlela efanayo, ngingathanda ukuba bangiphathe.
Izithembiso kuwe . Lezi zithembiso ziphathelene nokwelapha ngenhlonipho, okungaba nzima uma ujwayele ukunganaki, noma ngisho nokungahlonishwa ngokusobala.
Izibonelo zalezi zibopho zifaka:
- Ngizozihaqa nabantu abesekela futhi bangikhuthaza.
- Ngeke ngiyeke ezingeni lami lokuqala.
- Nginqume ukuthatha umgwaqo ophakeme ngoba kungcono izingane zami kanye nami.
Kungani Kubalulekile Ukuthembeka
Ukuba ngumzali ongayedwa oqotho, kubalulekile noma ngabe uhlukanisile noma umfelokazi, ngabe ngabe u-ex wakho uneminyaka engama-50-50 noma awubonanga neze izingane, nokuthi ngabe uke waba nobuhlobo obuseduze ne-ex wakho noma uhlale ungumzali oyedwa. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi izimo zakho ziphi, uzobhekana nokuphikisana okuthile endleleni. Futhi ukusingatha le mpikiswano ngokuphumelelayo kungenza izinto zibe lula kakhulu kubantwana bakho kanye nawe.