Isikhathi Nendlela Yokwenza Lezo Zethulo Zokuqala
Kubazali abaningi abangabodwa, ukuthandana kuyathandeka futhi kuyabangela ngesikhathi esifanayo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, awukwazi neze ukufaka intshiseko yakho ngesithakazelo sakho sothando olusha. Noma kunjalo, ungase uphethwe imibuzo mayelana nokuthi ungayethula nini futhi kanjani izingane zakho. Ngaphambi kokuba uthathe isinyathelo esibaluleke kakhulu, cabanga ngalesi seluleko sokuthandana nabantwana.
Buka Ubuhlobo Bakho
Abazali abaningi abangabodwa bayabuza, "Kufanele ngifake nini izingane zami kumuntu engithandana naye?" UPeter Sheras, isazi sezengqondo sezokwelapha eNyuvesi yaseVirginia, nomlobi we- I-Can Not Believe You Went Through Stuff My !: Indlela Yokunikeza Ingane Yakho Ingobo Yobumfihlo Yaba Nesithakazelo Nesiqondiso Abayidingayo, icebisa abazali ukuba baqale bahlole ikhwalithi wobudlelwane obusondelene ngaphambi kokukhathazeka ngokuthi uzethula kanjani izingane noma nini.
"Ukuzibophezela kuyisici esibaluleke kunazo zonke ngoba, uma kuzibophezela, okubonakala kubantwana."
Qiniseka
Ukuthembeka kuwe nomlingani wakho kuyisihluthulelo. Akuyona yonke ubudlelwane bomdanso obufinyelela ezingeni lokuzibophezela okudinga ukufaka izingane. Ungase ujabulele kakhulu ukuphila okungenasidingo, okujabulisayo nomuntu onokuzithokozisa ukuba abe khona, kodwa ongacabangi ngekusasa. Lokhu kubalulekile ngoba uma usungula abantwana, ubashiya besengozini ukuze unamathele. Ukwenza kanjalo ngaphambi kokuba wazibonele ukuthi lokhu kuzoba ubuhlobo besikhathi eside akufanelekile kubantwana. Futhi uma kwenzeka ukuthi ubuhlobo bungapheli, izindlela zokuhlukanisa zingase zibabuhlungu njengezihlukaniso zakho zokuqala noma isehlukaniso esivela kuwe.
I-Big Takeaway
Uma uqala ukuthandana nabantwana esithombeni, zibuze imibuzo elandelayo ngaphambi kokusungula intshisekelo yothando lwakho olusha kuma-kiddos akho:
Ngibona lokhu njengobuhlobo besikhathi eside? Uma kungenjalo, futhi usayifuna ukuthi ahlangabezane nezingane zakho, cabangela ukuletha umlingani wakho "njengomngane" nokugcina izinto ze-platonic phambi kwezingane zakho manje.
Ngingabheka yini ukuthi lo muntu abe yingxenye yomndeni wami? Uma u-yebo, ukwethula izingane kule ndawo kungase kube mnandi njengesinyathelo esilandelayo esilandelayo.
Uma nonke nonke ninqume ukuthi lokhu kuyisimo esibucayi, esizibophezele, uzofuna ukuqala inkhulumomphendvulwano enenjongo nezingane zakho. Okubaluleke kakhulu, uzofuna ukuqinisekisa ukuzibophezela kwakho kubantwana futhi uphendule kunoma yimiphi imibuzo abanayo. Amathiphu alandelayo wokuphola nezingane azosiza:
Yenza Ukwesaba Kwezingane Zakho
UPeter Sheras, isazi sezengqondo esikliniki eYunivesithi yaseVirginia, kanye nomlobi we- I Can Not Believe You Went Through Stuff My !: Indlela Yokunikeza Ingane Yakho Ingobo Yobumfihlo Yaba Nesithakazelo Nesiqondiso Abayidingayo, ichaza, "Ukwesaba izingane ukwesaba okukhulu kokushiya kunanoma yini enye.Besaba ukuthi uma ukucindezela kufike, uzobayeka ngenxa yobuhlobo obusha bokuphola. Ngakho-ke, kuyasiza ukuba uzibophezele kubo ngokucacile ngaphambi kokumemezela umuntu. "
Gcina Izinto Ngombono
I-Sheras iphinde igcizelele ukuthi awuceli ukwamukelwa kwezingane ebuhlotsheni bakho. Njengoba kubalulekile, awukhiphi uhlobo oluthile lwe-ultimatum mayelana nokwamukela umlingani wakho. Kunalokho, uqala ingxoxo ngokubaluleka kwezingane zakho, nokuthi yini oyifunayo ngekusasa lakho. U-Sheras uncoma lokhu: "Qala ngokwenza isitatimende sakho siqu sothando nokusekela komndeni wakho.
Bese ubuza izingane imibuzo enjengokuthi 'Ungathanda ukuthini umndeni wethu? Yini oyifunayo kumuntu esingayifaka emndenini? '"Inkhulumomphendvulwano eqhubekayo neqotho iyingxenye ebalulekile yokufaka izingane zakho ebuhlotsheni obubalulekile kuwe.
Amathiphu engeziwe Wokudlana Nezingane
Ngaphezu kwalokho, uzofuna uku:
- Qaphela ukuthi izingane zakho zingesaba ukuba noma ukuzizwa ulahliwe njengoba uthola ubuhlobo obusha bokuphola.
- Qinisekisa ukuzibophezela kwakho siqu kubantfwana bakho . Cabanga ukubhala ingane ngayinye incwadi eveza imizwa yakho nethemba lekusasa labo, kanye neyakho.
- Yabelana ngentshiseko yakho yangempela kumuntu othandana naye . Vumela izingane zakho ukuthi kungani ubuhlobo bubalulekile kuwe. Futhi khumbula ukuthi leli liyithuba elibalulekile lokubonisa ukuthi indlela umuntu aphatha ngayo kuyilunga elibaluleke kunoma yiluphi ubudlelwane.
Ukubhekana nobuhlobo bomshado obusha bomzali akulula neze kubantwana. Uma usuqale ukukhuluma ngakho ngokusobala, noma kunjalo, ungaqala ukucabanga ngokuthi ungathanda ukwenza kanjani izethulo zokuqala. UPeter Sheras, isazi sezokwelapha esikliniki eYunivesithi yaseVirginia, nomlobi we- I Can Not Believe You Went Through Stuff My !: Indlela Yokunikeza Ingane Yakho Ingobo Yobumfihlo Yabo Nesithakazelo Nesiqondiso Abayidingayo, sincoma ukuthi abazali bahlele ukungenisa izingane "zingakapheli izinyanga ezimbalwa ngokuzibiza ebuhlotsheni obungathí sina."
Indlela Yethula Uthando Lwakho Lusha Oluthandayo
Uma kuziwa ekwenzeni izethulo zangempela, uzofuna ukuhlela ukuphuma ngaphandle komsebenzi noma umsebenzi. Okuhle, kusiza ukwakha isimo lapho wonke umuntu angaba khona, aphumule futhi abe nesikhathi esihle. Umsebenzi omfushane, njengokuphuma nge-pizza noma ukudlala i-golf esheshayo , uhlinzeka wonke umuntu ithuba lokuhlangana kodwa akenzi isimo lapho kudingeka khona ingxoxo ende.
Amathiphu Wokuhlela Izethulo Zokuqala
- Hlela into ejabulisayo . Cabanga ngalokho okukujabulela ukukwenza ndawonye njengomndeni. Uma izingane zakho zikhulile ngokwanele, zenze zibandakanye ekuhleleni, futhi.
- Iba nguwe. Asikho isidingo sokucindezeleka futhi uqale ukukhuluma kulokho okuphakeme kakhulu 'kungaba-lokhu-okubuhlungu kakhulu?' izwi. Kunalokho, vumela izingane zakho zibone ukuthi ukhululekile esikhumbeni sakho phambi kwalowo muntu okhethekile empilweni yakho.
- Faka izingane zakho emisebenzini ongayenza ndawonye ndawonye . Qhubeka nokukhanya futhi vumela umsebenzi ngokwemvelo ugcwalise noma yiziphi izikhala engxoxweni.
Ukunikeza Ukuqinisekiswa
Ukwamukela ubudlelwane bomdlana phakathi kwabazali kungase kube inqubo encane yezingane zakho. Ekugcineni, okubaluleke kakhulu kwakho kuqinisekisa izingane zakho ukuthi uyabathanda ngokungenasisekelo nokuthi uhlose ukuba nazo njalo. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, bazobona ukuthi kuhlanganise nomunye umuntu empilweni yakho akukhona ngokuhlukanisa izifiso zakho; kuyithuba lokukhulisa umbuthano wabantu obakhethayo ukuthi unakekele futhi wamukeleke emndenini wakho.