Ngesinye isikhathi, cishe zonke izifiso zomzali noma umnakekeli kwakukhona indlela yokuvikela phakade ingane encane ekuhluphekeni nasekuhluphekeni kokuphila ukuze kulondolozwe umuzwa wabo obuthakathaka wokungabi nabulungisa kanye nombuzo omangalisayo ongasenakulinganiswa ochaza ubuntwana. Ngeshwa, noma yikuphi okuningi esikufisa okunye, izinto zangempela zokuphila nokulahlekelwa azikwazi ukunakwa futhi zizoqhubeka phakathi kwemizamo yethu emihle.
Ngenxa yalokhu, abazali abaningi nabanakekeli bazibuza ukuthi bangaxoxisana kanjani nesihloko sokufa nengane uma kunesidingo, kungakhathaliseki ukulahlekelwa ilungu lomndeni oseduze, isihlobo esiseduze noma umngane - noma okunye okubangelwa inhlekelele kwenye indawo emhlabeni uthola ukwaziswa okubalulekile kwezindaba. Nazi iziphakamiso eziningana zokusiza ingane yakho ukuba iqonde kangcono futhi ibhekane nokubhekana nokufa nokufa.
Qiniseka futhi uqondise
Nakuba ungase uzizwe ulingeka ukuba usebenzise imigomo "encane" nengane yakho lapho uchaza umqondo wokufa, kufanele ugweme ukusebenzisa ama-impressum , ikakhulukazi nezingane ezineminyaka engama-6 noma ngaphezulu. Noma yimuphi umzali ozisola ukutshela ingane ehlezi esihlalweni sangemuva semoto ukuthi bazokufika "maduzane" - ukuzwa kuphela "Ingabe sisekhona?" Emasekhondini angama-60 kamuva - uyaqonda ukuthi izingane ezincane zivame ukuhumusha lokho okutshelwe khona ngokwezwi. Ngakho-ke, ukuchaza ukufa kukagogo nomkhulu ngokutshela ingane ukuthi "ulele" noma "uhambe uhambo olude" cishe kuzombuza imibuzo eyengeziwe, njengokuthi "Uyovuka nini?" noma "Uyobuya nini?"
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukungaqondile ngqo ngokufa kungabangela inkinga yokubhekana nokukhathazeka kwengane yakho ngokubangela ukwesaba okungadingekile njengoba izingane ziqhubeka nokuqhuba lokho okushiwo. Ukusebenzisa u-euphemism njengokuthi "Silahlekelwe nguGogo," ngokwesibonelo, kungenza indodana yakho noma indodakazi yakho ikhathazeke ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ukuthi omunye othandekayo uzonyamalalala njalo lapho ezwa othile ehamba.
Ngokufanayo, ukutshela ingane ukuthi ilunga lomndeni oshonile "ukuthatha isikhathi eside" lingenza ingane yakho isabe noma nini lapho umtshela ukuthi i-naptime.
Lalela, bese uchaza, bese uphendula
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi othandekayo washona ngemuva kokugula okude, isibonelo, noma mhlawumbe ngokungalindelekile ngenxa yengozi yethrafikhi, kufanele uqale ukubuza ingane yakho ukuthi uyazi ngani ngesimo . Izingane ngokuvamile zibona noma zizwakala ngokumangalisayo ngaphezu kwabantu abadala. Ngokulalela lokho ingane yakho eyazi, noma ucabanga ukuthi uyayazi, ungabe usinikeza i- akhawunti emfushane yokufa okunikeza imininingwane eminingi njengoba uzizwa ingane yakho idinga noma ingayithola, kuyilapho ibuye ilandise noma yikuphi okuqalayo imibuzo noma amaphutha.
Ikhono lomntwana lokuqonda umqondo wokufa lihluka ngobudala, ngakho kufanele uchaze ukufa ngendlela efanele kodwa eqotho . Ngokujwayelekile, kufanele kube nokwanele ukutshela ingane eneminyaka eyisithupha noma encane ukuthi umzimba womuntu "uyeka ukusebenza" futhi "ayikwazanga ukulungiswa." Abantu abaneminyaka eyisithupha kuya kwengu-10 bavame ukuqonda ukuthi ukufa kuphelile kangakanani manje, kepha ngokuvamile bayesaba ukuthi ukufa "yi-monster" noma ngandlela-thile "isandulela ngculaza," ngakho-ke incazelo yakho kufanele ihlanganise nokuqinisekiswa ukuthi lokhu ngeke kwenzeke.
Labo abasondelene nentsha yabo, noma intsha, bayovame ukuqonda ukuhlala phakade-uhlobo lokufa, kodwa futhi baqala ukubuza "imibuzo emikhulu" yokuphila ngokufa kwabo kanye nenjongo yokuphila.
Emva kokulalela ingane yakho bese unikeza incazelo eqotho ngesimo, kufanele uvumele ingane yakho ikubuze imibuzo - uma izwa sengathi iyayithanda. Izingane ezisencane zizobuza imibuzo ngokusebenza, njengokuthi abathandekayo bakhona manje noma uma izilwane ezifuywayo nazo ziya ezulwini. Kufanele uphendule imibuzo enjalo ngobuqotho nangesineke, futhi ulungele ingane yakho ukuba ibuze imibuzo efanayo ezinsukwini nasemasontweni azayo.
Izingane ezindala, njengama-preteens kanye nentsha, kungenzeka zingabuzi noma yikuphi imibuzo, kodwa kufanele zicacise ukuthi ukhona ukukhuluma uma / noma nini lapho efuna.
Yiba Umzali, Kodwa Vumela Izingane Zakho zibe Izingane
Okokugcina, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi abazali (kanye nabantu abadala) bavame ukugxila kakhulu ekukhathazeni kwabo nasezinkathazweni zabo, futhi bangalahlekelwa iqiniso lokuthi izingane azizona "izinguqulo ezincane" zazo. Ngamanye amazwi, ngenxa yokuthi ulokhu ucabanga njalo ngokufa komuntu othandekayo, ungacabangi ukuthi ingane yakho ihlale icabanga ngokulahleka, futhi. Izingane, ikakhulukazi abasebancane, zinekhono eliphawulekayo lokugxila ezintweni ezinzima ngomzuzu owodwa futhi ukuhleka noma ukudlala ngokuphelele zilahla okulandelayo.
Ngakho-ke, njengomzali, kufanele ugweme ukufakazela impendulo yakho yosizi kumntanakho. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uzizwa kanjani, zama ukuhlola ngobuqotho ukuthi izindaba zokufa zithinta kanjani ingane yakho. Buka ukuguquka kwemizwelo noma ukuziphatha, njengokubambelela, isidingo sokuthintana noma ukubamba ngaphezulu, izinkinga zokulala, ukuhlaselwa kwe-panic, noma izikhalazo zokugula ngokomzimba, isibonelo. Lokhu kungase kube izibonakaliso ukuthi ingane yakho ayikubheki ngokulahlekelwa kahle.
> Imithombo:
"Ukukhuluma Nezingane Ngokufa." www.hospicenet.org . Ibuyiswe ngomhla ka-15 Disemba 2012. http://www.hospicenet.org/html/talking.html
> "Ukuchazela Ukufa Ingane." www.funeralplan.com . Ibuyiswe ngomhla ka-16 Disemba 2012. http://www.funeralplan.com/askexperts/explain.html