Nakuba ubuzali buletha inani elikhulu lenjabulo, ukuziqhenya, ukukhula komuntu kanye nezinye izinto ezinhle kulabo abanabantwana, kungabangela nezinselele eziningi. Abacwaningi bathola ukuthi lezi zinselele zingabangela inhlalakahle yokuphila kwengqondo nengokomzwelo yabazali, okungekho ukumangala kwangempela; Kuye kwaziwa njalo ukuthi ukubeletha kuyabangela ukucindezeleka. Kodwa-ke, sithola ubufakazi obengeziwe mayelana nokuthi lokhu ukucindezeleka kuthinta kanjani thina njengabazali.
Ucwaningo lokucindezeleka lokukhulisa izingane oludutshulwe nguProfesa uProfessor Robin Simon noVanesbilt University kaRathane Evenson bathola ukuthi abazali banamazinga aphakeme kakhulu okucindezeleka kunabantu abadala abangenazo izingane. Nakhu okunye okuvelele kokuthola okufundwayo:
Izingozi Ezisezingeni eliphezulu
Ucwaningo lwathola ukuthi izinhlobo ezithile zabazali zinamazinga aphezulu okucindezeleka kunabanye abazali. Labo ababonise izimpawu eziningi zokucindezeleka bahlanganisa:
- Abazali bezingane ezindala abahlala ekhaya
- Abazali bezingane ezindala abahlali ekhaya
- Abazali abangenalo ukugcinwa kwezingane zabo ezincane
Izingozi Eziphansi Zengozi
Labo ababonise izimpawu ezincane zokucindezeleka bahlanganisa:
- Abazali abahlala nezingane ezincane eziphilayo
- Abazali abahlala nezingane ezincane ezamukelwe
- Abazali abahlala nabantwana abancane.
(Lokhu kutholakala kuyamangaza, njengoba kucatshangwa abaningi ukuthi laba bazali bahlangabezana nokucindezeleka okukhulu kakhulu.)
Umthengi Womshado
Abazali abashadile banezibonakaliso ezimbalwa kunalabo abangashadile. Bobabili abesilisa nabesifazane batholakala ukuthi banesisindo esifanayo nokucindezeleka, okutholile okwethukisayo abacwaningi, njengoba kwakungavumelani nezifundo zangaphambilini futhi kuphikisana nokucabanga okungokomlando ukuthi ukubeletha kuthinta abesifazane abaningi.
Bonke Abazali Basengozini Enkulu
Ayikho isigaba somzali phakathi kwabo bonke abalulwe ngenhla abahlangabezana namazinga aphansi okucindezeleka kunabangewona abazali, okuyinto abacwaningi abathola ngayo, ikakhulukazi ngoba ezinye izindima abadala, njengokushada nokuqashwa, zixhunyaniswa namazinga aphezulu enhlalakahle ngokomzwelo.
Imiphumela Yempilo Yonke
Okumangalisa ukuthi ukutholakala ukuthi lezi zimpawu azihambi lapho izingane zikhula futhi ziphuma ngaphandle! Abacwaningi bakholelwa ukuthi lokhu kungenxa yokuthi abazali basalokhu bekhathazeka ngezingane zabo nokuthi bahamba kanjani emhlabeni wonke phakathi nokuphila kwabo, kusukela ngesikhathi besabantwana be-colicky nabancinci abathandekayo ezinsukwini lapho bekhathazekile ngokukhushulwa umsebenzi kanye nezinkinga zomshado ngokwabo.
Yini Okubangela Lokhu?
Abacwaningi bakholelwa ukuthi lokhu kungenxa yokuthi abazali banokuningi okukhathazayo kunabanye abantu. Sikhathazeka ngenhlalakahle yezingane zethu kuzo zonke izimpilo zabo, kusukela ngesikhathi esincane futhi sisebenzelana ne-colic, ukukhathazeka, nokudabuka, ngesikhathi ababhekana nokuthola imisebenzi kanye nabalingani futhi babe nezingane zabo. Akukhona ukuthi abazali abajabuli izingane zabo noma izindima zabo, kodwa ukukhathazeka ngokomzwelo kokubeletha kungaba phezulu, ngenxa yokuthi abazali base-United States bavame ukuhlukaniswa nomphakathi futhi abanalo usizo oluvela emphakathini noma umndeni.
"Ngendlela esenza ngayo umzali kulo mphakathi," kusho uSimon, ngokusho kwenkulumo. "Siyakwenza ngendlela ehlukile kakhulu kanti thina sibheke njengabantu ngabanye ukuze sizenzele kahle. Impumelelo yethu ingeyethu, kodwa kunjalo nokuhluleka kwethu."
Into engase ibe yinkimbinkimbi kubazali ukuthi abantu abakhulumi ngaso sonke isikhathi ngezinkinga zokubeletha noma babone ukuthi kunesidingo esingakanani esidingekayo. Lolu cwaningo lungasiza abazali ukuba babone ukuthi bathatha indima eyinselele futhi bavuza, baqinisekise imizwa engase babe nayo, futhi bakhuthaze ukuba bafune ukwesekwa komphakathi futhi bazizinakekele.
"Abazali kufanele bazi ukuthi abodwa; abanye abantu bazizwa ngale ndlela, futhi," esho. "Lena indima enzima kakhulu, kodwa siyayifisa emasiko aseMelika. Umzali akuyona indlela ekuthengisweni kwe-TV."
Nazi ezinye izindlela ezibalulekile abazali abangakwazi ukusingatha ukucindezeleka kwabazali futhi banakekele impilo yabo engokomzwelo. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi abazali bahlale beqaphela izingozi kanye nesimo sabo somuntu siqu futhi bathathe izinyathelo zokuphatha ukucindezeleka ngendlela ezisebenzela zona, kungakhathaliseki lokhu kusho isonto ebusuku, isikhathi esivamile nabangani noma iqembu lokusekela abazali, noma nje ukuthola isimiso sokuzivocavoca njalo esingasebenza esimisweni esimatasa.
Ukuzinakekela nakho kuyisici esibalulekile sokuphathwa kokucindezeleka okungaba nzima kakhulu ukugcina njengomzali, kodwa kungabhekwa. Izinto ezifana nokulala njalo (ngisho noma lokhu kutholakala ngosizo lwezintambo), ukugcina ukudla okunempilo, nokuzivocavoca ngokwanele nokuphumula isikhathi sonke kubalulekile, futhi abazali bangakwazi ukuzuza ngokuphelele. Nazi ezinye izindlela ezibalulekile zokuziqaphela ukuze uzame, futhi nakhu okunye okubaluleka kokudlala (yebo, abantu abadala kudingeka badlale futhi). Okokugcina, thatha isikhathi sokufunda ukuxhaswa kokucindezeleka okujabulisayo ongakujabulela nezingane zakho.
Uma uzizwa udinga usizo lokuphathwa kokucindezeleka okungaphezu kwalesi sihloko, unganqikazi ukukhuluma nodokotela wakho. Kunezinhlobo eziningi zokwelapha okuphumelelayo zokucindezeleka nokucindezeleka .
Umthombo:
U-Evenson RJ, uSimon RW. Ukucacisa Ubuhlobo Phakathi Kokuzali Nokucindezeleka. Journal of Health and Social Behavior . Disemba 2005.