Lapho abangane bakho bentfombolwazi banethonya imicabango noma ukuziphatha kwengane yakho, ukucindezela kontanga . Le nethonya ingaba ngamazwi, okungaqondile noma okungazi lutho ezingxenyeni zabangane bakho. Le ngcindezi ingaba nomthelela omuhle noma enhle ithonya ukuziphatha kwentsha yakho. Ukucindezela kontanga kuyithonya elinamandla, okudingeka uliqonde ukuze ukwazi ukuvikela ingane yakho ekwenzeni izinqumo ezilimazayo ezenziwa ngaphansi komgwaqo wayo.
Ukucindezela kontanga kwentsha kuthinta kanjani ingane yakho? Intombazane yakho ivele ithole uthando lokusebenza e-gym ngemuva kokulala embhedeni. Indodakazi yakho ejwayele ukugqoka ngokushelela manje ifuna ukudayisa izinwele zakhe eziluhlaza. Kwenzekani? Ingane yakho ingase izwe ingcindezi evela kubangane bayo ukwenza lokho abakwenzayo. Siyakwamukela ukucindezela kontanga kwentsha.
Kungani Kunamandla kangaka?
Njengabantu, sonke sihamba ngezinyathelo zokuthuthukiswa. Njengengane, ingane yakho kwakudingeka ifunde ukuthi unokwethenjelwa futhi ingayinakekela zonke izidingo zayo. Njengomuntu osemusha, umsebenzi wengane yakho ukwenza ikhefu kuwe kanye nethonya lakho futhi uthuthukise umqondo ohlukile woqobo. Ingxenye yale nqubo ivela ekuboneni nabazali namagugu abo nokukhomba ngamanani omunye oontanga. Abangane baba usizo olubaluleke kakhulu, futhi ukujoyina iqembu labangane kuwumsebenzi obalulekile phakathi nalesi sigaba sokuthuthukiswa.
Yingakho abangane bomntanakho bethonya kakhulu, "bazama" imicabango ehlukene, imibono, nendlela yokuphila abahlinzeka ngayo laba bahlobo. Akusiwe - kuyisiphetho sabo, ngokukhulumayo.
Kodwa Ingabe Kudingeka Ukuba Nesivinini Sezinzwa?
Abangani bakho bendodakazi yentombazane bangase baqaphele umhlaba futhi bafake ingcindezi, ngenhloso noma cha, endodakazini yakho eyayiyingozi.
Lapho eqala ukuphindaphinda futhi abuyele emuva ekunciphiseni kwakhe imali, ukucindezela kontanga kubonakala kuhle. Ngeshwa, ukucindezela komphakathi akuwona ngaso sonke isikhathi ithonya elihle. Ngemva kokuthola ugwayi esikhwameni sendodana yakho, ukucindezela kontanga kubheka njengesitha. Kungani engeke abone ukuthi lokhu kuyingozi kangakanani lokhu?
Angase akhombise ukuthi ukubhema kuyingozi, kodwa ubuchopho bakhe bungase bungakulungeli ukuhlanganisa izenzo zakhe uma kuqhathaniswa nemiphumela. Ingqondo yobudala isasebenza njengamanje. Ihlale ifuna okuhlangenwe nakho okusha kodwa ayinakho ikhono lokuthi, "Hhayi, ukubhema kubonakala kupholile kodwa akufanele kungabi ngoba kuyingozi kimi." Ngaphezu kwalokho, ubuchopho obusha bubonakala bunesidingo esiphezulu sezinto ezintsha, ezithakazelisayo futhi ukuvuselela okukhulu kunalokho okwenzayo njengoba sikhula. Ngokuhlangenwe nakho, okuhlangenwe nakho okusha, okuthakazelisayo nokujulile kaningi kuhumusha ekuziphatheni okukhulu. Ngenxa yokuthi ubuchopho bentsha bufuna lokhu kuvuselela okusha futhi akukwazi ngaso sonke isikhathi ukubeka amaphuzu umqondo omubi, isiphakamiso somngane "sokuzijabulisa" ngokudweba imidwebo emagcekeni esikoleni esiphakeme kuyayilinga, kungakhathaliseki imiphumela.
Indlela Yokubhekana Nokucindezela Kontanga Okubi
Iqhinga elingase lingacabangi ukuzama empini ngokucindezela kontanga eliyingozi lisebenzisa isu "normative".
Izingxoxo eziningi zokucindezela kontanga zihlanganisa ukufundisa amakhono akho okulahla ingane, njengokuthi ungathini uma othile ekunika izidakamizwa. Kukhona umcabango wokuthi ukufundisa lamakhono okulahla akuphumelelanga njengoba usebenzisa imfundo ejwayelekile. Lokho isu elijwayelekile lokubandakanya ukuxoxisana ngobuqotho mayelana nemibono yokwanda kokuziphatha okuyingozi - lokho ingane yakho ecabanga ukuthi iyenzeka uma kuqhathaniswa nobuqiniso. Indodakazi yakho yentombazane ingase izwe sengathi uyiyona intombi yokugcina esikoleni sayo esiphakeme ngoba bonke abangane bakhe baxoxa ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo ngokobulili. Izibalo zibonisa unyaka nonyaka ukuthi cishe isigamu sezinsizwa e-United States sinocansi ngesikhathi besishiyile esikoleni esiphakeme.
Indodakazi yakho ingase izwe ukucindezelwa okungaqondile kubangane bakhe ngokuphathelene nobulili, kodwa okuningi kwalokho akuzwayo akumane kuyiqiniso. Ukuvumela ingane yakho ukuba ikwazi iqiniso ukuthi ingabe intsha igwema kanjani lokhu okukhethwa yingozi ingamtshela ukuthi akayena yedwa - into ayidinga ukuyizwa.
Ungomunye wamathonya amakhulu kunengane yakho. Kungase kubonakale sengathi abalaleli, kodwa kunjalo ngempela. Lapho abazali behlala behileleka ekuphileni kwezingane zabo, izingane zabo zivame ukuzikhethela kangcono. Ucwaningo oluningi lusekele lesi simangalo, njengokungabonakali njengoba kubonakala kuleli phuzu. Hlala unesithakazelo futhi uhileleke kulokho ingane yakho ekwenzayo futhi uqhubeke uqaphela lokho akwenzayo. Hlangana nomyalezo wakho mayelana nokulindela kwakho. Uma ulindele ukuthi ngeke aphuze, aphume, enze izidakamizwa noma abe nobulili, akakwazi ukwenza kanjalo - kulula njengaleyo.
Imithombo:
> Intsha Yokuvimbela Utshwala Osemncane. Amathrendi wezingane. Ngo-September 6, 2008. https://web.archive.org/web/20130329055530/http://www.childtrends.org/lifecourse/programs/AdolescentAlcoPreventionTrial.htm
> Denscombe, Martyn. "Ukucindezelwa Kontanga Kontanga, Intsha Nokubhema: Izinkinga Ezintsha Nezinqubomgomo." Izidakamizwa: Imfundo, Ukuvimbela kanye Nenqubomgomo. 2001 8 (1): 7-32.
> Herrman, Judith W. "Ingqondo Yomfana Njengomsebenzi Oqhubekayo: Imiphumela Yabahlengikazi Bezingane." Ubuhlengikazi bezingane. 2005 31 (2): 144-148.