Ngokuvamile abazali abaqala ukufuna ukwenza amaphutha. Kodwa ngokuvamile, bathembele kuphela 'ekuhloleni kwabo abazali' futhi azame ukuthola usizo ngezinkinga ezivamile zomzali nezinkinga. Ngeshwa, abaningi bethu abakwazi ukukwazi ukuthi yini okufanele bayenze kuzo zonke izimo esibhekene nazo njengabazali, futhi sonke singenza amaphutha ngezikhathi ezithile.
Ukufunda ukunqoba lezi ziphutha eziyisikhombisa ezivamile zomzali kuzokusiza ukuba ube ngumzali ophumelelayo kakhulu:
1) Ukuzama ukulungisa izinkinga
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bacabanga ukuthi izinkinga ezithile azikwazi ukulungiswa noma zivele zishesha ukuzamukela, abazali abaningi bakhuthazela izinyanga noma iminyaka yokukhungatheka abaphila nezinkinga ezivamile. Lokhu kungase kuhlanganise izimpi zokulala , ukuvuswa kwamathuba amaningi ebusuku, noma ukufutheka okuvamile njalo nezinkinga zokuziphatha ezinganeni ezindala.
Nakuba kungathatha umsebenzi onzima, izinkinga eziningi obhekana nazo njengomzali zingasebenza futhi zishintshe noma zenziwe. Ungadinga usizo oluthile nokho. Ingane yakho kungenzeka ukuthi ayizange ifike ngemiyalo, kodwa kunezincwadi eziningi, amawebhusayithi, nabantu, ezingakusiza ukukuhola ngezinselelo zokubeletha. Udokotela wezingane kanye nabanye ochwepheshe bezempilo bangasiza futhi uma bebhekene nezinkinga ezinzima noma eziphikisanayo.
2) Ukuhlaziya noma Ukunciphisa Izinkinga
Ngaphambi kokuba uzame ukulungisa izinkinga, kufanele uqale uthathe isinqumo ukuthi yini futhi akuyona inkinga.
Futhi uma kuyinkinga, ngabe ubhekene nenkinga enkulu kangakanani.
Ingabe kuyinkinga enkulu uma:
- isandulela ngculazi inesinye isikhathi?
- U-5 noma 6 oneminyaka engu-6 ubudala ubanjwe udokotela?
- ingane iqala ukuhlola ukulinganiselwa kwakhe, ichitha isikhathi esiningi emndenini wayo, noma izama ukuzimela ngokwengeziwe?
Ngokuvamile, impendulo kuzo zonke izimo ezintathu cha.
Lezi zindaba ezilula ezifanelekayo okufanele zilindeleke. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, akufanele uthathe kalula inkinga efana nentsha ebanjwe ukubhema, ukweba, noma ukukopela.
3) Ukuba nethemba elingalindelekile
Uma unalindelo elingenangqondo lokuthi yini izingane zakho okufanele ziyenze, ungakwazi ngempela ukudala izinkinga. Lokhu kuvame ukukwenzeka lapho abazali bekhungathekile noma besinekezela ngumuntu oneminyaka engu-2/2 ubudala ongenaso isithakazelo ekuqeqeshweni kwamanzi, oneminyaka engu-6 ubudala omanzisa umbhede, noma intombazane enhle. Ngakho qiniseka ukuthi okulindelweyo kufana nalokho izingane zakho ezikwazi ukuthuthuka noma okulindeleke ukuba zenziwe.
4) Ukungahambisani
Zimbalwa izinto ezingalimaza izingane zakho ngaphezu kwesitayela somzali esingavumelani. Uma ngezinye izikhathi unzima kakhulu, kodwa unikeza ngezikhathi ezithile noma umane ungabonakali ukhathalela ukuthi izingane zakho zenzani, ziyoba nesikhathi esinzima ukwazi ukuthi yini okulindelwe kubo nokuthi bangayenza kanjani.
5) Ukungabi Nemithetho noma Ukubeka Imingcele
Ungase ucabange ukuthi wenza abantwana bakho umusa ngokubavumela benze noma yini abayifunayo, kepha izingane ezincane kakhulu zithola kunzima ukuhlala ngaphandle kwemingcele. Ukuba nemithetho, ukubeka imingcele, imizila eqhubekayo, nokunikeza izinqumo ezilinganiselwe kuzosiza ingane yakho ukuba ikwazi futhi ilindele ukuthi kuza ukuthini usuku lonke.
6) Ukulwa Emuva
Encwadini ethi Setting Limits With Your Strong-Willed Child , uDkt. Robert MacKenzie uchaza ukulwa njengoba 'umdanso womndeni,' lapho ungahlala 'unamathele kulezi zindlela zokuxhumana ezilimazayo.' Asikhulumi ngokulwa nomntanakho, kodwa ukulwa emuva kungathatha ezinye izinhlobo, njengokungathi uphuthumele, ukukhala, nokuziphindaphinda ngokuphindaphindiwe.
Ukulwa noma ukuphikisana nezingane zakho kubanika ukunakekelwa okubi kanye namandla amaningi phezu kwakho njengoba bakwazi ukuqala ukusabela okunjalo okunamandla. Esikhundleni sokuvimba izinkinga zokuziphatha, ukulwa emuva kuzokuholela 'ngokungazibongi ukungaziphathi kahle okuzama ukumisa.'
Esikhundleni sokulwa emuva, ungenza kangcono ngokuvimba amandla empi nokufunda amasu okuqeqesha okusebenza kahle, njengesikhathi sokuphuma nokusebenzisa imiphumela enengqondo nangokwemvelo, hhayi ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi ukulwa ngaphambi kokuwasebenzisa.
7) Akushintshi Okungasebenzi
Ukungaqapheli noma ukushintsha izindlela zakho zokubeletha ezingasebenziyo cishe kuyinkinga enkulu njengoba ungazama ukulungisa izinkinga kuqala. Ingabe okwenzayo usebenza? Isibonelo, ungase ucabange ukuthi ukuphamba kuyindlela ephumelelayo yokuqondisa, kodwa uma kufanele uyisebenzise usuku ngalunye ukulungisa inkinga efanayo noma ukuziphatha, kufanele kube sobala ukuthi akunjalo. Noma uma isimiso sakho sokulala sihilela ingane yakho ngokuvame ukuvuka nokuphuma embhedeni, ilula kuze kube ihora, futhi ikushiye ucindezeleke futhi ingane yakho ikhathele ekuseni, bese ngabe udinga indlela entsha yokusiza ingane yakho ukuba ilale.
Xoxa nodokotela wezingane uma unenkinga yalezi ziphutha eziyisikhombisa ezivamile zomzali.