Izikhalazo Zedala Ngokuvamile Ngephutha Emindenini Ephukile
Amaphepha awafakwanga, futhi akukho ijaji elizwa leli cala, kodwa izingane eziningi ezikhulile zihlukanisa abazali bazo, ngokuvamile ziqede ngokuphelele oxhumana nabo. Yini eqhuba ukunyuka kokuhlukaniswa komzali nengane? Ochwepheshe abasebenza nemikhaya banemiqondo ethile, futhi izinkulungwane zabantu ziye zabelana nakho okuhlangenwe nakho kwabo ku-intanethi. Izimpendulo ezicacile zingase zibe nzima, kodwa kulula ukuba uzizwe ngalezi zinkinga.
Izibalo ezimbalwa
Kwi-website ye-Story Estranged, abazali bobabili kanye nezingane zabo ezikhulile bangagcwalisa ukuhlola mayelana nokuhlukaniswa kwabo. Imiphumela ingamangalisa. Okokuqala, abazali abahlukanisiwe bangabantu abadala kunokuba umuntu angalindela, futhi ngaphezu kwengxenye eyodwa kwezintathu eziwela eqenjini lobudala lama-70-80. Lapho kucelwa ukuba kuchaze ubuhlobo bomzali nengane ngaphambi komgwaqo, impendulo ethandwa kakhulu enikezwa yizingane ezindala "yayizibophezelo zokuziphatha." Impendulo yesibili ethandwa kakhulu "yayingavamile futhi / noma ingavali." Lapho ebuzwa ukuthi banomthwalo wemfanelo wokuhlukaniswa, ingxenye engaphezu kwesigamu yathi yebo.
Esinye indawo esithakazelisayo sibheka ukuthi ngabe izingane "zenzeke ngokuqondile" zitshele umzali onqunywe izizathu zokuhlukaniswa. Abangu-67% bathi babenalo. Lesi yisithombe esibonakalayo esibukweni sendlela abazali abaphendula ngayo ocwaningweni olufanayo lapho abangaphezu kuka-60% bethi babengakaze batshele izizathu zokuhlukaniswa.
Lokhu ukungalingani kubonisa ubunzima abazali ababa nayo lapho bekhuluma nabantwana abadala.
Ucwaningo lwaseBrithani lwathola ukuthi izingane zivame ukusika oxhumana naye. Eqinisweni, abacwaningi bathola ukuthi amalungu esizukulwane esincane aqala ukuphumula izikhathi eziphindwe kabili kunamalungu esizukulwane esidala.
Ezinye izihloko eziphindiwe
Izizathu zokuphikisana nezingane ezindala ziyahlukahluka. Ezinye izingane ezikhulile ziye zahlukanisa ubudlelwane nabazali ngenxa yobuntwana obuhlukumezayo: Babedlwengulwa noma bakhuliswa nabazali ababeyizidakamizwa noma abasebenzisa izidakamizwa. Ngezinye izikhathi, izingxabano zomndeni ziye zavela ngokwezimali. Nokho, ezimweni eziningi, izizathu zokuhlukaniswa akuzona ezicacile. Noma kunjalo, izindikimba ezithile zenzeka ngokuphindaphindiwe ekuhlaziyeni ezivela ezinganeni ezindala eziye zahlukanisa abazali bazo.
"Awuyena Umzali Omuhle."
Ezinye izingane zizwa ukuthi ayithandwanga noma ayinakekelwa ngokwanele. Ngezinye izikhathi lokhu kungenxa yokuthi bakhuliswa ngesikhathi noma isiko engazange zihloniphe izinkulumo ezivulekile zothando. Ngezinye izikhathi kungenxa yokuthi abazali babo bakuthola kunzima ukuveza imizwa yabo. Ngezinye izikhathi izingane ezindala zizizwa zibuhlungu eziqhingini ezenzeka eminyakeni edlule, iziqephu abazali abangase bangaziqondi.
"Uhlukana Nomkhaya Wethu."
Izingane zesehlukaniso zivame ukusola iqembu noma enye isehlukaniso. Ngezinye izikhathi lokhu kubangelwa lokho abaye bakutshelwe omunye noma omunye wabazali babo. Ngisho nalapho amaqembu okuhlukanisa ehlala emphakathini, izingane zivame ukubeka icala kumlingani oyedwa noma kwenye. Ngemuva kokuba izingane ezikhulile zishade, azivumi ngaso sonke isikhathi izinkinga zomshado zabazali bazo.
Nakuba bevuma ukuthi umshado unzima, bavame ukuzwa ukuthi uma abazali babo bebekezela, bebengayenza ukuthi isebenze.
"Usengibona Ngisemncane."
Abazali nezingane bahlala iminyaka eminingi ebuhlotsheni obuthile, nabazali abaphethe. Ngezinye izikhathi abazali banenkinga yokuyeka lokho kwakhiwa. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, izingane zikulungele futhi zizimisele ukwenza izinqumo zazo. Lapho izingane ezindala zithi abazali bazo abaziboni njengabantu abadala, ngezinye izikhathi zilungile. Izikhathi eziningi abazali baphikelela ekunikezeni iseluleko esingadingeki. Ukuvuma ukungafuni umlingane wengane noma umlingani wakho kungabangela ukungqubuzana.
Izimali, imisebenzi, kanye nendlela yokuphila amanye amaphuzu amancane ezingxabano.
"Asinayo Imithetho Efanayo."
Lapho izingane zenza izinqumo ezingahambisani nezindinganiso zabazali bazo, ngezinye izikhathi abazali bathi, "Asizange sikhulume ngaleyo ndlela." Banobunzima bokuvuma ukuthi izingane ezikhulile zinezinhloso zokuthuthukisa izinkampani zabo zokuziphatha. Futhi, inkinga ingavela lapho umntwana omdala eshada nomuntu ohlukile ngezindlela ezibalulekile ezivela emndenini wakhe wokuzalwa. Ngezinye izikhathi ubunzima buyabangela ukungezwani kwezingqinamba zezombusazwe noma izinkolelo zenkolo. Lezi zinkinga zikhona izinselelo ezinzima kakhulu ngoba izinkolelo zezombangazwe nezenkolo zivame ukubhekwa. Eminye imindeni ifunda ukuhlala ngaleyo ndlela ehlukile. Abanye abenzanga.
"Ungumuntu onobuthi."
Ngokuqondile ukuthi kusho ukuthini umuntu onobuthi kuncike esikhulumi. Akufakiwe ezincwadini ezijwayelekile zezifo ezingokwengqondo, kepha ngokuvamile, kuqondwa ukuthi kusho umuntu olimaza ukulingana komunye womzwelo. Labo ababi kakhulu, ababeka abanye icala, abadinga ngokweqile noma abavuthiwe ngezikhathi ezithile babizwa ngokuthi yi-toxic. Amanye amalebuli asetshenziselwa ukuphelisa ubuhlobo ayingqayizivele futhi eguquguqukayo. Zombili lezi ziyizifo zangempela ezingokwengqondo, kodwa amalebula avame ukusetshenziselwa, ngaphandle kokuthola ukuhlolwa kokusebenza.
Ukukwazi Ukubuyisana
Izingane ezikhudlwana kakhulu eziye zahlukanisa abazali bazo zithi zenzelwe okuhle kwemikhaya yazo, noma zenzelwe zona. Lapho ebuzwa ukuthi abazali kufanele bazame ukubuyisana, izimpendulo ziyahlukahluka. Abanye bacabangela noma yikuphi ukuzama ukukhulumisana njengokuhlukunyezwa. Esikhathini socwaningo lwezindaba ezithandwayo, kepha cishe izingane ezingamaphesenti angama-60 zabantu abadala zithi zingathanda ukuba nobuhlobo nomuntu abavela kubo. Izinyathelo ezikhulunywe kaningi ezingathinta ukubuyisana zaxolisa kubazali, abazali bathatha umthwalo wemfanelo kanye nokuhlelwa kwemingcele.
Ucwaningo lwaseBrithani olukhulunywe ekuqaleni lwaluveza isithombe esincane. Izingane kuleso sifundo ziningi kakhulu kunokuba abazali bethi isimo asikho ithemba, kungekho nhlobo sokubuyisana. Eqinisweni, abangaphezu kuka-70% bathi ubudlelwano obusebenzayo esikhathini esizayo bekungenakwenzeka.
Noma kunjalo, abazali abakulesi simo akufanele balahle ithemba. Abantu abasha baye baziwa ukuthi bashintshe izingqondo zabo njengoba bekhula futhi bathole ulwazi lokuphila. Futhi abazali bangathola isikhuthazo kolwazi lokuthi ngisho noma behlukanisile, lesi simiso asiyona yokugcina.
Yikuphi ukuhlukaniswa okushoyo ngogogo nomkhulu
Abazali abaqedwa izingane ezikhulile bavame ukugogobala nabazukulu. Lapho bezama ukubuyisana, ugogo nomkhulukazi bayancenga ukuthi abazukulu badinga ugogo nomkhulu, okuyiqiniso. Ugogo nomkhulu bangakwazi ukugcwalisa abazukulu abane imisebenzi ebaluleke kakhulu. Nokho, ukugxila kulezi zimo kufanele kube ekukhuliseni ubuhlobo bomzali nengane ekhulile. Uma lobo buhlobo bulungiswa, ugogo nomkhulu kufanele bakwazi ukuphinde babone abazukulu babo.