Akekho owazi ngempela ukuthi yini eyenza izinyembezi
Kuyinkimbinkimbi kumkhulu omkhulu. Ufuna kabi kakhulu ukuzibophezela nomzukulu wakho omusha, kodwa umntwana uyakhala lapho ufika. Uma uzama ukubamba umzukulu wakho, amakholi aphenduka amakhanda. Yini eyenza ezinye izingane zisabele ngale ndlela?
Isisekelo sokuthuthukiswa
Abacwaningi bathi ukusabela okungalungile komzukulu kogogo nomkhulu kungase kube nezimbangela zentuthuko.
Ngezinyanga eziyisithupha, izinsana eziningi ziqala ukuziphatha kabi kubantu abangabazi . Uma ungatholi ukubona umzukulu kaningi, ungase ubonwe njengomuntu ongaziwayo. U-Stranger ukhathazeka kakhulu kakhulu kusukela ezinyangeni ezingu-6 kuya kwezingu-12 kodwa futhi kungase kwenzeke kamuva eminyakeni emibili yokuqala yengane. Abanye abacwaningi bathi lesi sikhathazo sokuhlukanisa i-syndrome. Ingane ikhathazeke ngokuhlukaniswa nomzali noma umnakekeli. Bathi le ndlela yokuqala yokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana iphela cishe eminyakeni emibili ubudala lapho ingane ikwazi ukuqonda ukuthi lapho abazali bengaboni, abahambanga phakade. Ukukhathazeka kokuhlukanisa kungase kubangele ekufikeni ebuntwaneni, futhi, kaningi njengendlela yokusabela ekucindezelekeni noma ekuguquleni impilo.
Izinkinga Ngezincazelo Ezithuthukayo
Amagama angaboni ukukhathazeka nokuhlukaniswa nokukhathazeka, noma kunjalo, akuhlanganisi zonke izimo lapho ingane ingenandaba khona nogogo nomkhulu. Ngezinye izikhathi, isibonelo, umbhangqwana ogogobeleyo uvakashela umkhulu wabo ndawonye.
Ngokwemfundiso, uma umuntu "engumfokazi," omunye kufanele futhi. Kodwa umzukulu wamukela oyise omkhulu futhi uyalahla omunye. Ngokuqondene nomaka othi "ukukhathazeka ngokwehlukanisa," ukusabela kuvame kwenzeka ngisho nalapho umzali ekhona futhi lapho umzali engakaqambi iphethini yokuvumela ugogo nomkhulu ukuba babele.
Ngokusobala, ukukhathazeka kwesihambi nokuhlukanisa ukukhathazeka akuchazi ngokugcwele ukuphendula.
Ukunquma Izinkinga
Abazali nabanye ababona izingane ngokuseduze bavame ukuthi bazi ukuthi yini eyenza ingane isabele kahle. Iziphetho ezinjalo azixhaswa ubufakazi bobuchwepheshe, kodwa yilokho abanye abazali abathi bakubonile:
- Ubulili obulodwa bukhethwa ngaphezu kwesinye.
- Ingane ayithandi izinwele zobuso noma izibuko.
- Iphunga elinamandla, ikakhulukazi ugwayi noma amafutha, kubangela ukusabela okubi.
- Ingane ayithandi amazwi anomsindo noma ahlabayo.
Yikuphi Ugogo Nomkhulu Ongakwenza
Ngeke ube nokulawula phezu kwazo zonke izici okukhulunywe ngazo ekuqaleni, kodwa ungakwazi ukulawula indlela osondela ngayo kumzukulu. Yize kungokwemvelo ukufuna ukubingelela nokubamba, ungasheshe uzuze umzukulukazi futhi ungazami ukukhipha ingane ngaphandle kwezingalo zomzali. Lokhu kuqinisekiswe ngokuqinisekile ukuholela ekukhenizeni. Kunalokho, hamba kancane futhi ukhulume kahle.
Elinye isu elingase lisebenze ukungamnaki umzukulu isikhashana. Khuluma nabazali. Thatha ithoyizi elithakazelisayo bese uliphatha, kodwa ungalinikezi kumzukulu. Ngokuvamile umzukulu ngeke akwazi ukumelana nokuhlola ithoyizi. Ungayisebenzisi njengesifumbathiso ukuze uthole umzukulu emgodini wakho, noma ungalungisa konke okuhle okwenzile.
Elinye isu lokuthatha umklomelo omkhulu ngaphandle uma isimo sezulu sifanelekile. Iningi labazukulu akalutholi ngokwanele lokuphuma ngaphandle.
Akuyona Inkohlakalo Yakho
Ukungafuni ukubonakala komzukulu kungabangela zonke izinhlobo zomzwelo omubi. Ungabaza amakhono akho wokugogobala futhi ngokuvamile uzizwa uhlulekile. Ukulwa nale mizwa, khumbuza ukuthi ukusabela kwengane akuyona into enengqondo. Ama-scads of grandparents baye babika ukwakha ubuhlobo obuseduze nabazukulu ngemuva kokuqala okudakayo. Awunasola ukuhlukumeza impilo yakho yonke nomzukulu wakho. Akukho okungalungile okungeke kulungile, uma nje unesineke futhi uqhubeke uzama ukubopha.
Izinkinga ezide kakhulu
Ugogo nomkhulu abahlala kude nomzukulu kungenzeka ukuthi bangabangela ukukhathazeka okungahambi. Ukuba umzukulu omude osekude kungase kuvele ukupakisha iphutha elingokomzwelo elibi. Ukwenqatshwa ngumzukulu akusizi ngalutho.
Abanye ogogo nomkhulu bathola ukuthi kusiza Skype noma sebenzisa i-FaceTime ukuthola abazukulu abajwayele ubuso babo namazwi. Yenza lezo zihambeli zivakashele njengokungenzeka ukuze zibophezele kakhulu. Ukudlala izingoma ze-peekaboo nokucula ngokuhamba ngezandla kuyizindlela zokubandakanya umzukulu omncane kakhulu. Noma kunjalo, ayikho isiqinisekiso sokuthi ngeke uqale izinyembezi uma ubonisa umuntu. Ezinye izingane nezinsana zididekile uma othile owaziyo ngokusebenzisa izingxoxo zevidiyo ezivela empilweni yangempela. Kuzo zonke lezi zinkinga ezide, ukuvakashelwa njalo noma ukuvakashelwa okude kuzosiza ngaphezu kwanoma yini enye - njengokungathi udinga isizathu!
Okubalulekile Ngesimo Sezingane
Eqinisweni, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi usana lubonisa yini ukukhathazeka kwamanye amazwe okungase kube nokukhathazeka kwengane kunanoma iyiphi enye into, ngokusho kwabacwaningi ku-New York Times indaba. Baye baphetha ngokuthi ezinye izingane zithandwa ngokukhathazeka. Lokhu akusho ukuthi izingane ezinjalo zizolahlwa ukwesaba unomphela nokukhathazeka. Indlela ingane ebelethwe ngayo ingenza umntwana azizwe ephephile futhi akwazi ukubhekana nokukhathazeka. Ekuphetheni, ukusabela okwaziwa ngokuthi ukukhathazeka kwesihambi kungase kungabi nandaba kakhulu nomfokazi futhi kuhlangene kakhulu nengane. Uma ungumuntu "owezizwe" oye wakhulisa umzukulu, kuyisimo esiduduza kakhulu.