Ukucabanga kwesisulu kuyisimo esingenampilo, esizilimazayo esingathuthukisa ngezizathu ezihlukahlukene. Ingane ehlukunyezwa yontanga ingase iqale ukuzibona ingenasici, noma ingane enomuzwa wokuthi kufanelekile ingadinga ukuthi ifanelwe kangcono uma engayitholi indlela yakhe.
Umqondo wesisulu akuyona imfanelo ekhangayo futhi ngeke isebenze kahle ingane yakho empilweni.
Kubalulekile ukuba ubheke izimpawu ukuthi ingane yakho ihlakulela isimo sengqondo 'sokuhlupheka'. Nazi izibonakaliso eziyisithupha eziyisixwayiso ezingabonisa ukuthi ingane yakho inengqondo yesisulu:
1. Ukusebenza ngokungenalutho
Ingane ozibheka njengesisulu izovumela izinto ezimbi ukuba zenzeke kuye. Uzocabanga ukuthi akukho lutho angayenza mayelana nezithiyo ahlangabezana nazo. Angakholelwa ukuthi imizamo yakhe yokwenza ushintsho ngeke isebenze.
Angenqaba ukucela usizo uma engazi ukwenza umsebenzi wakhe wesikole noma uma edidekile ngemilayezo yothisha. Angase futhi ahlale engacabangi lapho ontanga lakhe lingamphathe kabi. Isimo sengqondo esingenakusiza sandisa amathuba okuthi ingane izohlukunyezwa abanye.
2. Ukusingatha amaqembu omzwelo
Ukuzihawukela kanye nokucabanga komuntu oyisisulu kungena ezandleni. Ngenkathi ingane eyodwa ingase ithi izinto ezinjengalezi, "Angikaze ngiphumelele ukwenza okuthile," enye ingane ingase ithi, "Akekho othanda mina."
Esikhundleni sokufuna izixazululo ezinkingeni zangempela, umntwana ozwa sengathi uyisisulu angase atshale amandla akhe ukuba azame ukuthola isihawu.
Angase asuke, asuse, futhi akhononde , kunokuba athathe izinyathelo zokuthuthukisa isimo sakhe sengqondo noma ukuthuthukisa isimo sakhe.
3. Ukugxila kwi-Negative
Uma kwenzeka izinto eziyisishiyagalolunye ezinhle, futhi into eyodwa embi, ingane enengqondo yokuhlukunyezwa izogxila engalungile. Ngisho nalapho kwenzeka okuthile okwenzekayo, angase alahle inhlanhla yakhe ngokusho okufana nokuthi, "Kuhle ukuthi ngeke kuphinde kwenzeke futhi," noma "Wayengumuntu omuhle ngoba ulapho."
Ukucabanga kwesisulu kubangela izingane ukuba zizinake izinto ezinhle ekuphileni. Futhi lapho begxila kakhulu embi, kubizwa kakhulu. Umjikelezo onesihluku, ozenzayo ngokwakho.
4. Ukubikezela Ukuqothulwa Kwesimo Sezulu
Ingane enengqondo yokuhlukunyezwa ingase yenze izibikezelo ezimbi. Angase athi izinto ezinjengalezi, "Ngizohluleka ukuvivinya lokho kusasa," noma "Wonke umuntu uzohleka kimi ngezinyosi ze-spelling."
Umntanakho angesaba ukuzethemba. Ngisho nalapho etshelwe ukuthi uzokwenza okuthile okujabulisayo, angase abike ukuthi ngeke kusebenze. Ukucabanga kwakhe okungalungile kuyokwenza ukucindezeleka okungadingekile futhi kwenze kube nzima ngaye ukwenza konke okusemandleni akhe noma ukujabulela isikhathi sakhe.
5. Ukumangalela Wonke umuntu
Umntwana onesimo sengqondo 'esimpofu' usola wonke umuntu ngezimo zakhe ezimbi. Uzofakazela ukuthi wonke umuntu uphuma ukuze amthole. Angase aze aqhube abanye ngenjongo, ngakho angabangela ukuphendula okungalungile okuzoqinisa umbono wakhe wokuthi wonke umuntu uyamthanda.
Kungase futhi kunzima ukwamukela umthwalo wakhe siqu ngokuziphatha kwakhe. Esikhundleni sokuqaphela indima ayidlala ngayo, isibonelo, cishe uzolahla wonke umuntu futhi agcizelele ukuthi akukho lutho angayenza ngalo.
6. Ukwedlulisa okubi
Ingane ozibheka njengesisulu ingase isebenzise amagama afana 'njalo' futhi 'angaze' lapho echaza izimo zakhe.
Kungenzeka uzwe izinto ezinjengokuthi, " Angikaze ngenze noma yini ejabulisayo," noma , "Izinye izingane zihlala zikhuluma kimi."
Lolu hlobo lokucabanga konke noma okungenalutho lusho ukuthi ingane izomzabalaza ukubona okungekho emthethweni. Ngisho noma othile eveza ubufakazi obuphambene nalokho, ingane enengqondo yokuhlukunyezwa ingase imise ukuthi umbono wakhe unembile.
Indlela Yokusiza Ingane Ekhuluma Ngezisulu
Nakuba zonke izingane zingase zicabange ukuthi ziyisisulu sezwe elinonya ngezinye izikhathi, ngoba ezinye izingane isisulu sengqondo sithandwa kakhulu. Futhi ngaphandle kosizo lomuntu omdala, angase athwale isimo sakhe sengqondo "esimpofu" ekukhuleni.
Izinguquko ezimbalwa ezincane endleleni osabela ngayo kumntanakho zinganciphisa ngempumelelo ukuhlukunyezwa kwengane yakho . Phendula ngokusekela, kodwa yenza kucace ukuthi ukushaya emdlalweni we-baseball noma ukwehluleka ukuhlolwa kwezibalo akusho ukuthi uyisisulu.
Uma umbono ongathandeki wengane wakho wezwe uphazamisa impilo yakhe yansuku zonke-isikole, ubungane, kanye neminye imisebenzi- funa usizo lochwepheshe . Ukucabanga kwesisulu kungase kube uphawu lwezinkinga zempilo yengqondo , njengokucindezeleka noma ukukhathazeka.
> Imithombo
> Kets de Vries M. Ingabe Ungumhlukumezi We-Victim Syndrome? AmaDynamics enhlangano . 2014; 43 (2).
> Morin A. Izinto 13 Abazali Abanamandla Dont Do. ENew York, NY: uWilliam Morrow & Co; 2017.