Indlela Abazali Abangasebenza Ngayo Ngokuvumelana Nesiyalo
Uma wena noshade naye noma umlingani wakho ungavumelani namasu okuziphatha, awusodwa. Imibhangqwana ivela ezizinda ezihlukahlukene futhi inezinhlobo ezahlukene. Omunye angase abekezelele lapho omunye eqinile. Nakuba lezi zingxabano zingase zisekele ngezikhathi ezithile, zingaholela ekuxabaneni. Yini okufanele uyenze uma ungavumelani namasu okuziphatha njengabazali?
Lapho Abazali Bengavumelani
Imibhangqwana eminingi ihluke ngezinye izikhathi uma kuziwa ekujezisweni. Isibonelo, abazali bavame ukungavumelani ngesikhathi sokungenelela ngokuziphatha. Omunye umzali angase akholelwe ukuthi ingane akufanele yanikezwe izikhumbuzo uma engenzi imisebenzi yakhe ngesikhathi. Kulesi simo, lowo mzali angase asikisele ukuthi umane ubambe isabelo somntwana uma ingane ikhohlwa. Kodwa omunye umzali angakholelwa ukuthi izingane kufanele zinikezwe amathuba amaningi. Okukwenzeka kaningi ukuthi inkinga yokuyala (lokho okwenziwa ngumntanakho noma engayenzanga) iyanqanyulwa eceleni futhi kuvele inkinga entsha: leyo yokushayisana komshado noma umlingani.
Kubalulekile ukuxoxa ngokungafani uma bevuka noma bangabangela izinkinga ezinkulu esikhathini esizayo. Ake sibuke ukuthi kungani ukungavumelani kwabazali phezu kwesiyalo kwenzeke, nokuthi yini ongayenza ukuze ube yiqembu elihlangene labantwana bakho.
Imiphumela yezingavumelani
Ukungezwani ngokuphathelene nokubeletha kungaholela kalula ezinkingeni zomshado.
Ngezinye izikhathi umzali oyedwa uhlala ehlangene nezingane futhi kungaba "us" ngokumelene nomunye umzali. Khona-ke, esikhundleni sokusebenza ndawonye njengeqembu, abazali baqala ukusebenza ngokumelene.
Akuphi futhi impilo enhle uma abazali bezingavumelani njalo ngeziyalo. Uma uvame ukuba nzima kuma-kids, cishe kuzokubeka ube "umuntu omubi" futhi izingane zakho zizofunda ngokushesha ukubuza omunye umzali ngezinto.
Lokhu kungaholela ezinkingeni zokuxhumana hhayi kuphela phakathi kwabalingani kodwa phakathi komunye wabalingani nabantwana. Kodwa kujulile kunalokhu. Imiphumela engahambisani nayo ingabangela izingane ukuba zizizwe zikhathazekile ngoba aziqiniseki ukuthi yini okufanele zilindele.
Uma ukhuluma nomlingani wakho, khumbula ukuthi akuyona nje indaba ethize yinkinga. Ngalesi sihloko kukhona uthando lwabazali ngezingane zabo. Uma umzali oyedwa ezwa ngokuqinile ukuthi indlela eyodwa ingcono kunomunye wokuyala ingane, yonke le mizwelo ifika ekhanda. Ukuhlaselwa kwesitayela somzali oyedwa kungaphetha ukuzwa njengokuhlaselwa othandweni lwakhe ngezingane zabo.
Ukuxazulula Izingxabano Zakho
Ngokusobala ukungezwani uma kuziwa emasu okuqondisa izingane akuphilile abazali noma izingane. Kodwa yini ongayenza uma ukhona phakathi kwenkinga? Ake sibheke ezinye izinyathelo ezicacile ongazithatha ukuze ukwazi ukujezisa njengobunye obumbene. Khumbula ukuthi lokhu kuyinkambo yokuphila njalo uma unezingane. Izinkinga zokulahlwa zishintsha ngobudala, futhi abazali bayashintsha futhi ngenxa yokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo endleleni. Nakhu ongakwenza ekuqondiseni njengeqembu.
Yamukela ukungezwani kwakho
Kubalulekile ukwamukela ukuthi wena nomlingani wakho ngeke nivumelane ngezinkinga zokubeletha ngesikhathi esisodwa (ngaphandle uma umzali oyedwa engabonakali umbono wakhe, okumele kuqondwe ngakho).
Kunezindlela eziningi ezahlukene zokukhulisa ingane. Uma wena nomlingani wakho ninemibono ehlukene mayelana nokuthi yini engcono kakhulu kubantwabakho, kubalulekile ukuthi uhloniphe umbono womlingani wakho. Lokhu akusho ukuthi udinga ukuvumelana. Kungase kudingeke ukhululeke ngokuvuma ukungavumelani. Uma unenkinga yalokhu, khumbula ukuthi umehluko kumasu wokuziphatha ubonisa isifiso kuzo zonke izingxenye zakho ukuba zibe abazali abahle kakhulu. Lesi yisiqalo esihle sokuqala!
Ungaqala ngokucabangela izinhlobo ezine zezitayela zokubeletha futhi ucabange ukuthi yiyiphi echaza kahle indlela yakho. Bese-ke, thola ukuthi ingabe umlingani wakho usebenzisa indlela efanayo noma ehlukile.
Ukuqonda ukuthi ngamunye uhlangabezana kanjani nenkinga efanayo ngombono ohlukile kungasiza.
Kungenzeka nokuthi ungaba nezimo ezihlukile zomzali . Mhlawumbe unokubekezelelana okuphakeme ngokuziphatha okuthile futhi unokubekezelelana okuphakeme komunye. Hlola ukuthi izimo zakho zentuthuko ngayinye zihambisana kanjani nesimo sengqondo somntanakho njengoba lokhu kungenye yezici ezinhlanu ezithonya ukuqeqeshwa isu ukusebenza kahle .
Thola indawo efanayo
Uma usuqaphele umehluko wakho, bheka enye indawo efanayo. Kungenzeka ukuthi wena nomlingani wakho ninemigomo efanayo yezingane zakho. Cishe bobabili utshalwa imali ekuqinisekiseni ukuthi izingane zakho zikhula zibe ngabantu abadala. Ube nemibono ehlukene mayelana nokuzidela okungakanani okumele ulindele ukuthi izingane zibe nazo.
Hlala phansi ndawonye ukuze uhlele uhlelo ongavumelana ngalo kokubili ukulandela. Akudingeki ukuthi uvumelane ngazo zonke izici, kodwa udinga ukuvuma ukuthi ungalandela uhlelo phambi kwezingane. Kungenzeka ukuthi bobabili kufanele nidlale kancane kancane.
Isibonelo, mhlawumbe ungavuma ukuthi ingane yakho eneminyaka engu-10 izothola isikhumbuzo esisodwa ebusuku ukwenza imisebenzi yakhe yasekhaya. Uma engayitholi, akayikuthola imali yakhe. Lokhu kungase kube umphumela ophumelelayo ozoshukumisela ukuba enze imisebenzi yakhe ngosuku olulandelayo.
Misa Imithetho Yomkhaya
Sebenza njengeqembu ukuze uqale imithetho yasendlini . Yenza uhlu olulula lwemithetho ebalulekile kubo bobabili. Ngokuvamile, imithetho engaba ngu-10 yanele. Qiniseka ukuthi ufaka imithetho ejwayelekile mayelana nenhlonipho, imisebenzi yasekhaya kanye nomsebenzi wesikole.
Bese ucacisa uhlu lwemiphumela engenzeka ongayivumelana ngayo lapho imithetho iphukile. Kungase kudingeke kube nemiphumela ehlukile yengane ngayinye. Hlanganisa futhi imivuzo izingane zakho ezizozihola uma zilandela imithetho, njengokuthola isabelo sokwenza imisebenzi yasekhaya.
Khombisa i-United Front
Vumelanisa ukwethula phambili ngobunye kubantwana. Yabelana ngemithetho nezingane futhi uyavuma ukuthi uzolandela ngokulinganayo ngemiphumela. Ukuphepha okuveza ubumbano obumbene kuzonikeza izingane zakho kubaluleke kakhulu kunokuthi iyiphi isu lokuqeqesha ozolisebenzisa.
Kubalulekile ukuba umlingisi uziphatha ngendlela efanele phambi kwezingane zakho. Uma izingane zakho zikubona ulwa, cishe zinokuxazulula izingxabano ngendlela efanayo. Esikhundleni salokho, gcina ukungavumelani kwakho lapho wena nomlingani wakho ningakhuluma ngokuyimfihlo.
Uma izingane zakho zicela ukuthi omunye wenu enze okuthile-uma kwenzeka-ungaphenduli kuze kube yilapho ukhuluma nomngane wakho kuqala. Uma indodana yakho icela ukuya endlini yomngane kusasa ebusuku, mtshele ukuthi kuzodingeka ukhulume nomunye umzali kuqala. Lokhu kuzothumela umyalezo wokuthi nonke nisebenzisana ndawonye futhi nixoxisana kahle ngezinqumo zokubeletha.
Ukufinyelela Ngaphandle Kokusiza
Ngisho noma unesifiso esihle, ukusebenza ndawonye ukuyala izingane zakho kahle kungaba inselele. Uma uthola ukuthi lokhu kuyindaba, cabanga ngezinketho zakho. Amaqembu omzali ngezinye izikhathi ayasiza kakhulu. Akuvamile ukuba umlingani aqonde into oyishoyo kuphela lapho ezwa omunye umuntu ethi into efanayo.
Amakilasi okubeletha kanye nezincwadi, njengokuthi "Ukubeletha Ngothando Nengqondo" nguFoster Cline noJim Fay, kungaba indlela enhle yokubheka ukubeletha kwakho ndawonye. Le ndlela igcizelela ukusebenzisa imiphumela yemvelo uma izingane zakho zingenzi kahle. Abanye abazali babheke phambili nokuba nezingane zabo zihlukumeze ukuze bakwazi ukuqhuba amasu abathintekayo. Akuzona nje izindlela ezifana nalezi ezikuhlanganisela ekuqondeni ukuthi nonke nishukunyiswa uthando lwakho ngane yakho, kodwa kubonakala sengathi zisusa amanye amamithi ukuze ukwazi ukukhuluma ezingeni elijulile.
Buyekeza kabusha uhlelo lwakho lweviki
Beka eceleni isonto ngalinye ukukhuluma nomlingani wakho ngamasu wokubeletha. Ungesabi ukuzama izinto ezintsha futhi wenze izinguquko ohlelweni njengoba kudingeka. Vele uqiniseke ukuthi uzoletha izinguquko ezinganeni zakho kusengaphambili.
Njengoba izingane zakho zikhula, izidingo zabo zizoshintsha futhi amasu akho okuziphatha azodinga ukushintsha nabo. Uma inqubo eyodwa yokuyala ingasebenzi , sebenzisa njengeqembu ukuthuthukisa uhlelo oluhlukile. Kunezindlela eziningi ezihlukene zokubhekana nezinkinga zokuziphatha futhi kubalulekile ukuguquguquka ngendlela yakho.
Ngaphansi
Ukubeletha akulula, futhi umahluko phakathi kwabantu, kuyomangaza uma abalingani bengenalo ukuphikisana ekukhetheni izindlela ezingcono zokuqeqesha izingane zabo. Kodwa siyazi ukuthi lezi zingavumelani zingabangela ukushayisana komshado futhi zithinte kabi izingane.
Thatha isikhashana ukubuka amanye amasu angenhla, futhi uqonde umbono womunye nomunye. Khumbula ukuthi awuvumelani ngaphandle kokungahloniphi umlingani wakho. Ukwazi ukuthi ukubumbana njengabazali kungenye yezipho ezingcono kakhulu ongabanika izingane zakho, bheka izindlela ongazenza ngazo. Nina bobabili ninomgomo ofanayo, futhi lokho kukuthanda nokuqondisa izingane zakho ngokusemandleni akho.
> Imithombo:
> Kliegman RM, Stanton B, St Geme JW, Schor NF. UNelson Bookbook of Pediatrics . 20th ed. Philadelphia, PA: Elsevier; 2015.
> Regalado M, Larsen K, Wissow L, et al. Izinto ezihambisana nokuyala ukululekwa kwabazali bezinsana nezingane ezincane. Izingane zokufunda zezemfundo . 2010; 10 (5): 353-359. doi: 10.1016 / j.acap.2010.07.00 6.
> Rodenas, F., Garces, E., Dura, A. et al. Imfundo Nokuqeqesha Abazali Namuhla, Isiyalo Nokunakekelwa Kwezingane Ekusasa. I-Procedia-Social and Behavioral Sciences . 2014; 116: 2248-2251. doi: 10.1016 / j.sbspro.2014.01.553.