Ingxoxo no-Ingrid Kellaghan
Kubalulekile ukuthola umfana osebenzisa izindlela ezifanayo zokuqondisa izinkinga zokuziphatha kwengane yakho. Kodwa, ngezinye izikhathi, ukuthola umfana onendlela efanayo yokuqondisa kungaba yinto encane kakhulu.
U-Ingrid Kellaghan, umsunguli weCambridge Nanny Group eChicago, utshela ukuthi abazali bangasebenzisana kanjani nomfana ukubhekana nezindaba zokuziphatha.
U-Kellaghan uyinhlangano ehamba phambili ezindabeni zokukhuthaza izingane, ukuthuthukiswa kwengane, imisebenzi efanelekayo yokudlala kanye nokudlala, amasu okuqondisa okufanele, nokuxhumana okuhle phakathi kwabazali nabazali nabanakekeli.
Kubaluleke kangakanani kubazali nomntwana ukuba bahlanganyele ngezinkolelo eziyisisekelo mayelana nokuziphatha kwezingane nokuziphatha kwabo?
Ama-core values asemqoka yiwona oyinhloko yezobudlelwane obuphumelelayo. Isibonakaliso esikhulu sokuphumelela kwesikhathi eside kunomakhono we-nanny, isipiliyoni, kanye nokusebenza kwamakhono. Yilutho eligcina konke ndawonye. Uma ukungavumelani okuvela ngokuphindaphindiwe kuvele kungumphumela wamafilosofi aphikisanayo mayelana nokuthi ingane kufanele ikhuliswe kanjani.
Ekupheleni kosuku, unina ungumzali we-proxy. Ukuze ubuhlobo busebenze kahle, amafilosofi nezimo zengqondo, kufaka phakathi isiyalo kufanele kube ukulungiswa. Izinkolelo ezabelwana ngazo kuyindaba ebucayi okufanele inganakwa.
Yimiphi imibuzo abazali okufanele bayicele ukuze bafunde kabanzi mayelana nendlela yomntanakho yokuqondisa?
Isihluthulelo sokuthola indlela yenanny yokuqondisa isilungisa imibuzo ekhulunywe kahle. Kusho ukuhamba ngokujulile. Umfakisicelo kumele akutshele ngokuhlangenwe nakho okuqondile lapho ebonisa indlela yakhe yokuthola isiyalo.
Umgomo ukuveza ukuthi indlela yakhe yokuthola isiyalo ihambisana neyakho. Uma kwenziwa kahle, lowo ozobhapathizwa akumele afakwe emphenduleni oyifunayo.
Cabangela ukubuza le mibuzo elandelayo:
- Ngitshele ngesikhatsi kufanele ujezise ingane. Kwenzekani futhi yisiphi isinyathelo sokulungisa owazithathile?
- Ngitshele ngesikhatsi ingane engakunakekelwa ngayo yayithukuthele . Kwenzekani futhi wasisingatha kanjani?
- Ngitshele ngesikhatsi ingane ingazange ilandele imiyalo yakho. Wawusingatha kanjani?
- Ngitshele ngesikhathi obenenkinga esikhathini esidlule esilandelayo umyalelo womzali ngokuphathelene nesiyalo? Kungani ungavumelani nalo?
- Ngitshele ngesikhathi lapho umzali engavumelani nendlela yakho ekuqondiseni ingane yakhe. Kwenzekani futhi sibhekiswe kanjani?
- Ngitshele ngesikhathi lapho ungavumelani nendlela yomzali yokuqondisa. Ingabe uyikhulume nomzali?
Yiziphi izinhlobo zezinkinga ezingase ziphakame lapho umntanakho enezinto ezahlukene ezilindelekile mayelana nokuthi ingane kufanele iphathe kanjani noma yiziphi amasu okuziphatha okufanele asetshenziswe?
Ngaphambi kokuba uqashe umntanakho uhlale phansi bese ubeka iziqondiso zokuqondisa ezicacile. Phakamisa ukusabela kwakhe. Uma umnakekeli wakho engayihloniphi imithetho yakho , ngeke abenzelele.
Lokhu kungaholela ekuxabaneni komgwaqo, kanye nokudideka kwengane.
Yini abazali okufanele bayenze uma bekholelwa ukuthi le nanyana ingabe inonya kakhulu noma ilula kakhulu nezingane?
Uqashe umntanakho njengomuntu owazi kahle ukuthi unetalente uma kuziwa ekunakekeleni izingane, ngakho-ke vula ukuzwa ngalokho acabanga ukuthi kufanelekile. Isibonelo, ngenkathi ungase ube ne-laissez-faire indlela yokudla okulanda ukudla ngaphambi kokudla, angase acabange ukuthi kuyinto embi kakhulu.
Mzwele ngaphandle. Mhlawumbe ungazama indlela yakhe noma uthole indlela yokwehliswa phakathi kwezindlela zakho ezimbili zokucabanga. Ukunika amandla abantwana bakho kuzokwenza izingane zakho zihloniphe ngokwengeziwe-futhi zizokwenza umkhaya wakho ugijime kahle.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma umntanakho enesihluku esikhulu (esisebenzayo, ehlabelela, ehlambalaza noma ehlambalaza) noma elula (evumelisayo, ephoqa, ethanda ukuxoxa) axoxe ngokuqondile nomntwana. Uma umfana engabonakali ukuzimisela kwakhe ukwenza ushintsho ngokushesha kungase kube yisikhathi sokubheka umnakekeli omusha.
Ngezinye izikhathi abazali bakhathazeka ngokuthi le nanyana angeke atshele yonke indaba mayelana nezinkinga zokuziphatha kwengane. Abazali bangaqiniseka kanjani ukuthi bathola indaba egcwele mayelana nokuziphatha kwengane kanye namasu okuziphatha umfana owenzayo?
Uchithe isikhathi esiningi ngokucophelela ukwenza uhlu oluzokwenza noma imiyalelo yenanny, kodwa ingabe usuchithe isikhathi sokudala isimo sobudlelwane obuseduze nokuthembela? I-nanny kufanele ikhululeke ukuletha zonke izinselele, imibuzo, nokukhathazeka kuwe.
Uma unesidingo kunokuba uzivikele futhi uzimisele ukulalela abanye ezingeni elijulile, i-nanny izwa ngokukhululekile ukuvula nokuhlanganyela. Lona ikhono lokuxhumana olunikeza wena, njengomqashi wakhe, ithuba elikhulu kunazo zonke yokwenza umehluko ekusebenzisaneni kwakho nosuku nosana wakho.
Njalo uhlele isikhathi ndawonye ukuze ukhulume ngomuntu siqu. Yithuba lakho lokulalela, ukuxazulula izinkinga, ukuthonya, ukwenza izinqumo, nokudala indawo lapho abasebenzi bezwa khona futhi bezwa amandla.
Awukwazi ukwenza lokhu ngombhalo noma nge-imeyili. Ngeke ukwazi ukwenza lokhu uma ugijimela emnyango ekuseni noma uhamba emnyango kusihlwa nabantwana befuna ukunakwa.
Njengomqashi we-nanny, kubalulekile kuwe ukuthi ukwazi ukuxoxa ngokukhululekile nangokwethembeka mayelana nezenzakalo zokuphila kwengane yakho - kuhlanganise nanoma yiziphi izinkinga zokuziphatha.
Ngezansi-uma unina engakhululekile ukuza kuwe, ngeke. Dala imvelo yomsebenzi lapho impendulo yakhe ingabonwa kuphela-kodwa ikhuthazwe.
Abazali bangasebenzisana kanjani ne-nanny ukubhekana nezinkinga ezithile zokuziphatha?
Hlala phansi ndawonye futhi unqume ukuthi uzosebenzelana kanjani ngokuvumelana nesiyalo. Abanye abazali bakhetha ukuxoxa ngezinkinga ezinkulu ezifana - ukushaya, ukuhlukumeza , noma ukuxhaphaza, kuyilapho ezinye zithanda ukufakwa ngaphansi kweziphambeko ezingathandeki.
Kodwa-ke kuyasondela, kubalulekile ukuthi imithetho esemthethweni ifakwe futhi i-nanny inikezwa imiyalelo ecacile yokuthi izinto kufanele zibhekiswe kanjani futhi zilungiswe.
Sebenzisanani ndawonye ukwakha indlela enhle yokuziphatha esebenzisa ukulindela okucacile, imiphumela ecacile, kanye "nokuphoqelela" okuqhubekayo.
- Chaza okulindelekile okucacile okucabangela iminyaka yengane.
- Imiphumela ehlanganiswa ngokucacile ehambisana nengane yengane
- Umzali kanye noNanny kufanele bavumelane nokulandela okulandelanayo, okuqinile, okuqinile
Ngokuvamile, uma kuziwa kuma-nannies, ingabe kukhona imikhuba ethile yokuyala engase isebenze kangcono kunabanye?
Ama-nannies kufanele asebenzise amasu okuziphatha okuhle . Isiyalo esihle kunesifiso sefilosofi esisiza kakhulu ingane ukuba ithuthukise unembeza ngesiyalo sakhe sangaphakathi nesihawu kwabanye. Isijeziso sendabuko sifundisa okungalungile, kodwa akusizi ngaso sonke isikhathi ingane ukuthi ifunde okulungile.
Umgomo wesiyalo ukufundisa. Ifundisa ukuzithiba nokuziphatha komphakathi okwamukelekayo. Ukhuthaza ukuziphatha okuhle ngokulungisa ukuziphatha okubi nokudumisa ukuziphatha okuhle . Isiyalo siyithuba lokubonisa inhlonipho, ukubekezela, nokuxazulula izinkinga ezinhle.