Uma izingane zilahlekelwa umdlalo, ukubhekana nokudumazeka kuyithuba lokukhula
Ukusiza izingane ukuba zilulame ekudumeni kufanele kube omunye wemisebenzi ekhudlwana emidlalweni yokukhulisa izingane . Phela, mhlawumbe udumazekile! Kuyinto enhle ukugaya isisu lapho ingane yakho isesikhundleni esiphakeme ukushaya umgomo wokuwina umdlalo ... bese ephuthelwa. Noma unesifiso sokujoyina ithimba lezemidlalo lokuhamba kodwa akenzi ukusika. Uma ingane yakho idlala imidlalo yentsha, ekugcineni nizobhekana nokudumazeka kokubili.
Akuwona wonke umdlalo, umdlalo, uhlanga, noma ngisho nenkathi izohamba ngendlela athemba ngayo.
Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi ukunqoba ukudumazeka kungaba-ngosizo lwakho-yiba ithuba lokufunda elibalulekile lomntanakho. " Ukuzethemba akukwazi ukukusho ukuthi, 'Ngiyinto enhle ngaleyo ndlela' ', kusho isikhulu sengqondo sengane uTamar Chansky, Ph.D. "Izingane ziqaphela amandla abo, izixazululo zabo siqu? Yilokho ngempela abafunda ukuqina " futhi baziqhenya ngokwabo.
Ukuzwelana Nengane Yakho
Qala ngokuvuma ukuthi ingane yakho ibona kanjani okwenzekile, kusho uChansky, ongumbhali we- Freeing Your Child kusuka ekucabangeni okungalungile: Amandla Amandla, Amasu Asebenzayo Ukwakha Isikhathi Sokuphila Okukhululekile, Ukuziphendulela Nenjabulo (ukuthenga kusuka ku-Amazon). Awudingi ukuvumelana nezitatimende zengane yakho ukuthi ungumdlali obi kunazo zonke owake waphila noma ngeke aphinde ahambe enkundleni futhi. Kodwa ungazwelana, futhi ubonise imizwa yakhe, ngamazwi afana nalokhu: "Uyathukuthela ngalokhu." UJim Thompson, umqondisi omkhulu we-Positive Coaching Alliance, uthi, "Umgomo wakho ukukwenza ingane yakho ikhulume, ngakho cela esikhundleni sokutshela.
Londoloza ukutshela isikhathi esithile. "
Phumula
Izikhathi eziningi, izingane zidinga isikhathi esithile kumdlalo noma isenzakalo ngaphambi kokuba zizimisele ukukhuluma ngakho. Uma imizwelo yengane yakho isebenza phezulu, kungasiza ukumtshela ukuthi uyazi ukuthi uphelelwe amandla, kodwa akudingeki ukuba akhulume ngakho manje. Menze azi ukuthi uzotholakala uma ekulungele ukukhuluma.
Yiya Emthonjeni Wenkinga
Uma isikhathi sokukhuluma sifika, kusho uChansky, cabanga ngomgomo wakho wengxoxo. "Ekugcineni, ufuna ukuba akwazi ukubona lesi simo ngokunembile futhi angaholwa imizwa yakhe," uyancoma. Amazwi akho esikhuthazo ngeke anamathele uma konke angakwenza kungesithombe, ngokuphindaphindiwe, umzuzwana lapho eqaqa ibhola. UChansky uncoma ukubuza ukuthi "Uyini into oyigxile kuyo?" noma "Yini eyakudumaza kakhulu mayelana ne-tryout?"
Uma engayiphendula lowo mbuzo, ungamsiza ukuba aqhubekele phambili ngokushintsha kancane kancane ukugxila kwakhe ezindleleni zokuthuthukisa amakhono akhe. Futhi angase akwazi ukukhumbula izinto azenzile kahle phakathi nomdlalo. Uma ingane yakho iphelele, unesibopho sokucabanga ukuthi iphutha elilodwa libeka umkhuba omusha (ongajabuli). Yethula umbono womuntu ongaphandle, kusho uChansky. Mbuze: Uma ubamba amabhola angu-50 futhi ungaphutheli owodwa, uyini umcimbi ongavamile? Ukubanjwa noma ukuphuthelwa?
Lungela isikhathi esilandelayo
Uma unqume ukuthi iyiphi inkinga ngempela, usize ingane yakho icabangele izindlela zokuyilungisa. Angase acele iziphakamiso ezivela kumqeqeshi, enze amanye ama-practice drills, noma aze afike ne-mantra angayiphinda uma ezwa ecindezelekile . Msize abeke imigomo ethile, efinyelelekayo yomdlalo olandelayo noma umkhuba olandelayo.
Khona-ke dumisani lapho efika kubo.
Ukubhekana Nezingane Ezidangelekile Lapho Zingakhulumi
Kuye ubuntu bakhe, ingane yakho ingabonisa ukudumazeka ngezindlela ezahlukene. Angase athukuthele futhi abulale, lapho kufanele udinga ukumsiza ukuthi athole indlela yokuhambisa leyo ntukuthelo, njengokushaya izigxobo noma ngisho nokukhala.
Uma ingane yakho iphenduka lapho icasule noma idabukile, funa izindlela zokumdonsa. Ungase uthi, "Ngiyazi ukuthi awufuni ukukhuluma ngakho, kodwa kudingeka sithole ukuthi kwenzekani ngempela. Imizwa yakho yenza kube mkhulu kunokuthi kwenzekani ngempela," kusho uChansky. Ungazama futhi umzila ongaqondile.
Mbuze ukuthi ucabanga ukuthi umdlali wakhe ozithandayo wenza amaphutha, nokuthi uyabhekana kanjani. Ungasho ukuthi: "Uma u-pro ethi uyisidlali esabekayo ngenxa yosuku olulodwa olubi, ingabe uyavumelana naye? Ungasho ukuthi 'Yebo, ngicabanga ukuthi kufanele uyeke?'"
"Ukudumazeka kuyithuba elihle lokuqinisa izimfanelo ezinhle" njengokuzimisela nokuqina, kusho uJim Thompson. "Sine thuluzi esikubiza ngokuthi 'Ungumuntu onjani.' Sithi kubantwana, kulandelwa into efana 'ayilahli kalula'; 'ibambelela ezintweni'; 'ibuyisela emuva'; 'ayivumeli amaphutha akuvimbele ekudlala umdlalo owuthandayo.' Ukuzwa okuqala ukulungisa isimo somntwana wengane. "