Ingabe ukukhathazeka kwengane yakho yokuhlukanisa isipiliyoni ngaphambi kokuhambela kwabazali nge-ex yakho? Nakhu ukuthi ungayithola kanjani inkinga futhi unqume indlela engcono yokuyilungisa ngaphandle kokuphula isivumelwano sakho sokugcina ingane.
Thola Ukukhathazeka Ngokuhlukana
Ungase usetshenziselwe ukucabanga ngokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana njengendlela yokuziphathisa izingane ezincane ezisuke ziboniswa uma zihlukaniswa nomnakekeli wazo oyinhloko.
Eqinisweni, uma izingane zakho sezivele 'zikhulile' zalesi sigaba sokukhala nokuzibophezela, kungase kuphazamise ukubona ukukhathazeka kokuhlukana ngokweqile ngokuphathelene nokuvakashelwa kwabazali nge-ex. Noma kunjalo lapho imindeni ihlangabezana nezinguquko ezinkulu, njengokuhamba, ukuhlukaniswa okusha, noma isehlukaniso, kuvamile ukuba abazali babone amanye amaphetheni amadala aphinde abuyele, ngisho nasezintwaneni ezindala. Ngakho kubonakala kanjani? Uma ukukhathazeka ngokwehlukana kuvuselela ikhanda layo elibi, izingane zonyaka wonke zingabonisa:
- Ama-bouts wokukhala
- Ukuhlaselwa ukukhathazeka
- Ukwenyuka okukhulu
- Ukufutheka nokukhungatheka
- Ukwesaba
- Kunzima ukulala
- Izinguquko ekudleni
Khumbula futhi ukuthi izingane zakho zingase zithole lezi zimo zokukhathazeka ngokwehlukanisa ngisho noma kungekho sizathu kubo. Ngamanye amazwi, izingane zakho akudingeki zibe nesizathu esihle, esizwakalayo sokwesaba ukulala phezu kwendlu yakho yangaphambili ukuze bahambe ngokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana njengoba ukuvakashelwa kusondela. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi ukukhathazeka abakubhekene nakho akusho ukuthi kunengqondo.
Futhi uma ungumnakekeli oyinhloko, ukucacisa ukuthi umehluko phakathi kokungalingani nokuthi yini esemthethweni kungaba enye yezinto eziyinselele kakhulu zokuhamba ngokukhathazeka kokuhlukaniswa ngokuphathelene nokuhambela kwabazali.
Thepha emqondweni wakho we-Rational
Njengoba ukwehlukanisa ukukhathazeka ngaphambi kokuba uvakashele ukuqala, ingane yakho kungenzeka ingacabangi ngokulinganayo.
Yingakho kubaluleke nakakhulu ukuba ube nomqondo ozwakalayo futhi ugcine ukukhathazeka kwakho ngokwehlukana. Cabanga ngalokho oyaziyo nge-ex yakho futhi lapho ingane yakho izochitha isikhathi ngesikhathi sokuvakasha okuhleliwe. Kungenzeka ukuthi usuvele uqiniseka ukuthi ingane yakho izobe iphephile nengaphandle yakho njengoba ehlala ekhaya lakho. Yingakho izinkantolo zalaya ukuvakasha, akunjalo? Noma yiziphi izinkinga ezizoqinisekisa ukuthi ukuhlolwa kwezingane ezisemakhaya zivele zihlolwe, futhi ngaphandle kokuba unesizathu sangempela sokukhathazeka ngokuphepha kokuvakasha, ukuveza umoya wokuzethemba okuzolile kuzosiza ekunciphiseni ingane yakho kuqala -bheka ama-jitters.
Gwema Ukusabela Knee-Jerk
Kunzima ukubona ingane yakho ihamba ngokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana njengoba uhambela ngendlela yakho ex. Kodwa ukunikeza nokuvumela ingane yakho ukuba ihambe ekuvakasheni okuhleliwe nge-ex yakho kungenzeka ingabe impendulo engcono kakhulu. Eqinisweni, ukuphatha lolu hlobo lwamandla ngaphezu kwengane yakho kungadideka futhi kungabangela ukukhathazeka okwengeziwe. Ngakho-ke gwema isilingo sokungena ekukhathazeni kwengane yakho ngokumvumela ukuba ahlale ekhaya "nje kuphela lokhu." Kunalokho, sebenzisa amathiphu angezansi ukuxazulula inkinga.
Qala Ingxoxo
Khuluma nengane yakho ngalokho azizwayo.
Kodwa musa nje ukubuza ukuthi yini esabekayo. Futhi, cela umntwana wakho ukuthi yini ebheke phambili endlini yakho yangaphambili nokuthi yiziphi izinto ezijabulisayo abazenza ngesikhathi sokugcina. Khumbula futhi ukuthi ingane yakho ingakhathazeka ngokushiya ngemuva. Uma kunjalo, tshela ukuthi uzokwenzani nokuthi ungalindeli kanjani ukushintshanisa izindaba omunye nomunye uma ubuyela ndawonye ngemva kokuvakasha.
Setha okulindelekile ukudala
Uma uhamba ngezinkinga zokuhlukanisa okuhlobene nokuvakasha, qiniseka ukuthi ucabangela iminyaka yengane yakho.
- Izinsana zizuza ngokuba nesimiso esivamile, ngakho qiniseka ukuthi wabelane nesikhathi sakho sokuqala ukuthi uhlelo lwakho olujwayelekile lubukeka kanjani ngakho angakwazi ukulinganisa leyo ndlela. Futhi uma kukhona okuthile okhethekile okusebenza njenge-charm ukuze unciphise ingane yakho lapho ekhala-njengebhola ibhola-ungazigcini. Yabelana ukuthi yini esebenza ne-ex yakho ukuze akwazi ukuzola ingane yakho uma kudingeka lapho ungekho.
- Izingane zingase zizwe ukukhathazeka ngokwehlukana njalo uma uhlukanisile, ngakho qaphela ukuthi ungabi nesisindo esiningi ukuze uvakashele ukukhathazeka ngokwehlukana ngalesi sigaba. Ngaphezu kwalokho, qiniseka ukuthi wabelane ngezinye zakho zezinto ozenzayo ozithembele kuzo ukugcina ingane yakho imatasa futhi ihlanganyela.
- Abasenkulisa babesadinga induduzo yokuvumelana. Ngakho-ke qiniseka ukuthi upakisha isilwane esithandwa kakhulu sezingane zakho kanye nezinye 'izidingo' zezinto eziphakeme nge-ex yakho. Futhi uma kukhona isimiso sokulala esisiza ukuba akhululeke ukulala kalula, qiniseka ukuthi wabelana nge-sauce yakho eyimfihlo nge-ex yakho. Ukulala ubusuku obuhle kungasiza kakhulu lapho ingane yakho isenkingeni yokukhathazeka okukhulu.
- Izingane ezifunda esikoleni zingase zibe nemisebenzi abafuna ukuyenza, njengokuqeqeshwa kwebhola noma izifundo zepiyano. Uma kungenzeka, yiba nengane yakho ukuletha ingane yakho emisebenzini ngayinye ehleliwe ukuze bajabulele ndawonye. Futhi njengabantwana besenkulisa, izingane ezifunda esikoleni zithinteka kakhulu ngokulahlekelwa ukulala. Ngakho uma ubuhlobo obuhle ne-ex yakho, mqeqeshe ukuthi anamathele ngesikhathi sokulala kwengane yakho.
- Intsha isondelene nabangane bayo ngokwemvelo futhi ungase ulahlekelwe ukuchitha isikhathi nabo ngesikhathi sokuvakashelwa. Cabanga ukuthi kungenzeka yini ukuthi ingane yakho ingakwazi ukuhlala exhumana nedijithali ngesikhathi sokuqhathaniswa ne-ex yakho. Lokhu kungasiza ukunciphisa ukuzwa komzwelo okushiyekile ngesikhathi sokuvakashelwa ngaphandle kokwehliswa ubuhlobo bomntanakho ne-ex yakho.
Bambisana ne-Ex yakho
Ngisho noma ungahambisani ne-ex yakho siqu, noma uma ubuhlungu obhekene omunye nomunye kusengcono, ukufunda ukusebenzisana njengabazali-co-parents kuzosiza ingane yakho ukuba ibhekane nokukhathazeka okuhlukunyezwa okuhlobene nokuvakasha. Kuze kube sekupheleni, zama uku:
- Vumelana phambili ngaphambi kwesimiso sokuvakasha kwesilingo. Kungase kudingeke ukuba uguquguquke mayelana nobude kanye nemvamisa yokuvakashelwa, kodwa ukuzigcina lapho ingane yakho ihlangabezana nokukhathazeka ngokwehlukanisa kubaluleke kakhulu. Khumbula ukuthi umgomo wukuthi ingane yakho kanye nomuntu wakho wokudala ukudala ubudlelwane obuqhubekayo, obuhle, nobudlelwane. Lokho akunakwenzeka ngaphandle kokuchitha isikhathi ndawonye!
- Hlela ukuthi uzoxhumana kanjani nokuthi uzoxhumana kanjani. Ingane yakho ingathuthukiswa ukwazi ukuthi uzoxhumana kanjani futhi nini. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uzoba ubiza nsuku zonke, noma ingane yakho ingakuthumela njalo ekuseni nakusihlwa, ukubeka isimiso nokubeka ilindele ukuthi uzoxhumana kanjani kungasiza ekunciphiseni ukukhathazeka ngokwehlukana.
- Hlela kusengaphambili ngezinkinga. Kungase kube nezikhathi lapho ukukhathazeka kwengane yakho kubonakala kukhulu kangangokuthi uzoqala ukuzibuza wena nokuthi ngabe uhlelo oludalile lusebenza yini. Hlela phambili ukuthi yiziphi izinhlobo zokuziphatha ezivuma ikholi yefoni engakapheli noma ngisho nokushintsha kwamaminithi wokugcina.
Thola Uhlanga Lwakho Lufakiwe
Ikakhulukazi uma ingane yakho ingajwayele ukuba kude nawe, ingasiza ukuhlela ukuhamba kwesikhathi esifushane ngezinkulungwane, amalume, nabangani. Lokhu kuvumela ingane yakho (kanye nawe) ukuba ijwayele ukuhlukanisa isikhathi esifushane ngaphandle kokucindezeleka okungeziwe okuhambisana nokuncoma noma yikuphi ukukhuluma okungekho amazwi okushoyo uma uhlobanisa ne-ex yakho ngaphambili nangesikhathi sokuyeka ukuvakasha.
Thatha izinyathelo zezingane
Ikakhulukazi lapho ingane yakho ibhekene nokwanda kokukhathazeka okuhlukana okuhambisana nokuvakashelwa kwabazali, kubalulekile ukuthatha izinyathelo ezincane, ezilinganiselwe futhi ujubhele impumelelo yakho. Uma ukuhambela kokuqala nokuthunyelwa kokuthutha kuthola isikhathi esifushane, uyawina. Uma ingane yakho ibika okuthile okujabulisayo emva kokulala ngobusuku bakho, uthuthuka. Kuzothatha isikhathi, kodwa uzofika lapho.
Hlola kabusha uhlelo lwakho njalo
Ayikho uhlelo lokubeletha olungunaphakade. Ngakho zinikeze ukuguquguquka lapho uhamba ngokukhathazeka kwengane yakho ebhekene nayo. Nakani lokho okusebenzayo bese uzama ukukuphinda njalo. Futhi qiniseka ukuthi uhlola kabusha uhlelo lwakho njalo, futhi okungenani kanye ngonyaka, ukwenza izinguquko nokuhambisana nezidingo zomntanakho.