Abazali abaningi bayazibuza ukuthi kukhona yini imithetho ekhona yokuqedwa kwezibopho zokusekela izingane. Ngokwesibonelo, ingabe umzali angayeka ukusekela ingane uma omunye umzali enqaba ukuvumela ukuvakashelwa? Futhi kuthiwani ngezimo lapho ingane engafuni ukuthola ukusekelwa kwezimali komzali futhi ingathanda ukukhululwa? Thola izimpendulo zale mibuzo ngaphambi kokuphishekela ukuqedwa kwe-oda lokusekela ingane wena noma ingane yakho.
I-Quid Pro Quo Nokuqeda Ukusekelwa Kwezingane
Esibusweni, abanye abazali banomuzwa wokuthi kunengqondo ukuyeka ukusekelwa kwengane lapho ukuhambela ukuyeka ukuvela njalo. Kodwa lo mbono ungabangela izinkinga eziningi enkantolo. Kungani? Ngoba inkantolo-eyayibophezelwe izibopho zokusekela izingane ziqhubeka ngisho nalapho kunenkinga ngobuhlobo phakathi komzali nengane noma phakathi kwabazali ababili. Ngakho-ke, akufanele uyeke ukukhokhela ukusekelwa kwengane ngenxa yokuthi ingane ingasabambi iqhaza ekuvakaseleni okuhleliwe njalo.
Kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi izinkantolo zithatha ukusekelwa kwabantwana nokuvakashelwa ngokwehlukana. Uma unecala lokuvakasha, futhi i-ex yakho ayibambisani ne-oda, kufanele uxhumane nenkantolo noma ukhulume nommeli wakho mayelana nezinketho zakho. Ezimweni eziningi, izinyathelo zingathathwa ukuze kulungiswe isimo ukuze ukuvakasha kuqale futhi.
Ukucabangela okukhethekile
Ngokuvamile, lapho umzali eyeka ukusekela ingane, kungenxa yokuthi kukhona okuningi okuqhubekayo ngemva kwezigcawu.
Ingabe umzali ulahlekelwe umsebenzi wakhe? Ingabe kukhona ushintsho olusemthethweni ezimweni ezivumela ukuguqulwa kokusekelwa kwengane ngokusemthethweni? Noma yimuphi umzali obhekene nobunzima ukwenza izinkokhelo zokuxhasa izingane njalo kufanele axhumane nenkantolo eyakhishwe umyalo wokuqala ukuze uxoxe ngezinketho. Lokhu kukhethwa kakhulu kunokubeka engozini imiphumela yokungakhokhelwa, okungabandakanya ukulahlekelwa ilayisense yakho yokushayela ngisho nokukhonza isikhathi sejele.
Ukuqedwa kwezingane
Ezimweni ezingavamile, ingane ekhulile ingase icele ukukhululwa uma engasafuni ukuba nobuhlobo nomzali. Uma ingane ikhululwa, inkantolo ingase ikhulule ngokusemthethweni umzali ongabambeleli wokuzibophezela kwabantwana. Kodwa-ke, ngabe inkantolo inikeza ukukhululwa kuzoxhomeka ezintweni eziningana ezibandakanya:
- Ubudala Bengane: Ubudala obufanele buzohluka ngohulumeni nasenkantolo. Ezinye izinkantolo zingase zithole ukuthi iminyaka engu-16 ubudala kufanelekile, kanti enye inkantolo ingase inqume ukuthi le-16 isencane kakhulu ukwenza leso sinqumo esibalulekile.
- Izinga Lokuvuthwa Kwengane: Inkantolo ingase ibheke ikhono lomntwana lokuveza ngokucacile isifiso sakhe sokukhululwa kanye nezizathu zokukhulula, njengesibonakaliso sokuvuthwa. Bangase babheke nezici ezinjengokuthi ingane iqashwe noma cha noma umfundi omuhle.
Ngaphambi kokucabangela ukukhululwa, ijaji lizoxoxa nengane. Uma ingane ikhululwa, izibopho zokusekelwa kwengane ezingabheki izingane zingase zipheliswe futhi. Kodwa-ke, izinkantolo zivame ukunganqikazi ukuqeda izibopho zokusekela ngoba wesaba ukuthi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kuzodingeka ukuthi uhulumeni angene futhi ahlinzekele ngezimali ngezingane.
Kubalulekile futhi ukwazi ukuthi izinkantolo zithinta noma yikuphi ukuphazamiseka ebuhlotsheni bomzali nabantwana. Ekunqumeni ukuthi ukuqeda izibopho zokusekela izingane, inkantolo izobheka izithakazelo ezingcono zomntwana bese inquma ukuthi bobabili abazali kufanele bakwazi ukusebenza ndawonye ukusekela izidingo zomntanakho kanye nenhlalakahle yomzwelo.