Amathiphu Wokuthandana Omzali Ongayedwa: Okufanele Ukwenze Lapho Ingane Yakho Inqabe Usuku Lakho
Ukuthandana komzali ongashadile akuyona into ngaphandle kokucindezeleka. Akukhona nje kuphela ukuthola isikhathi sokuthola usuku, kodwa izingane zakho cishe zinemibono eqinile mayelana nokukhetha kwakho, futhi. Empeleni, omama bekhala "Usizo! Izingane zami zizonda isoka lami!" akuyona yonke into engavamile, kodwa kufanele ibe ngumthengisi wokuphola? Nakhu okumele ukwenze uma lokhu kwenzeka kuwe:
Lapho Izingane Zakho Zizonda Inja Yakho
Lo mbuzo wokuphola uvela kumfundi ogama lakhe linguJane, othi ingane yakhe iyamzonda isoka lakhe.
Nakhu okwakufanele athi:
Ngineminyaka engu-33 ubudala, mina futhi nginabantwana ababili, abaneminyaka engu-6 no-9. Ngineminyaka engu-6 ubudala ngithanda indoda engiyithandana nayo, kodwa indodana yami eneminyaka engu-9 ubudala inzonda isoka lami! Lokhu kungikhathaza kakhulu. Sesilokhu sithandana cishe iminyaka emithathu, kodwa ukungabi nokufudumala phakathi kwabo kuyinkinga ngesoka lami, futhi sekuyisivikelo esikhulu ebuhlotsheni bethu. Kumele ngenzeni?
Indlela osabela ngayo lapho ingane yakho iyonda isoka lakho kubalulekile ngoba likhuluma ngendaba yokulinganisela izidingo zakho ngokumelene nezidingo zezingane zakho. Ake sihlole inkinga ngokujula okujulile.
Ukuphi Ukuqala
Umbuzo wami wokuqala ngawe: Ingabe unenkinga ngokuziphatha kwengane yakho? Ngiphinde ngizibuze ukuthi isoka lakho libhekisela ekuthandeni kwendodana yakho ukuxhuma nokwakha ubuhlobo naye, noma ngabe kukhona yini enye inkinga yokuziphatha ephathelene naye.
Uma unenkinga ngokuziphatha kwengane yakho, ngizokukwazisa ukuthi uqale lapho.
Yenza lokho ngaphambi kokwenza noma yiziphi ezinye izinqumo. Ungathola, futhi, ukuthi udinga ukusika esikhathini sakho kude nezingane ngenkathi ukhuluma ngokukhathazeka kokuziphatha okukhona.
Thola iNdaba Yeqiniso
Abantu abaningi bangakutshela ukuthi uma ingane yakho izonda isoka lakho, kufanele uqede ngokuzenzakalelayo ubuhlobo.
Kodwa-ke, oneminyaka engu-9 ubudala unolwazi ngokwanele ukwazi ukuthi ukukhulumisana komzali kungathatha isikhathi nokunakekelwa kuye, futhi indlela esheshayo yokuvukela lokho kungukuphika umuntu othandana naye. Ngakho-ke, kubalulekile ukunquma ukuthi indodana yakho 'iyamzonda' isoka lakho ngesizathu esihle ongakaqapheli, noma ngabe indodana yakho idinga ukuqaphela ukuthi ngenkathi yena nomfowabo behamba phambili, abalawuli njalo isinqumo owenzayo.
Ukuze uqiniseke ukuthi ukunganaki kwendodana yakho akusekelwe esivumelwaneni esihle sokungathandi isoka lakho, ngingancoma ukuthi ubuze abangane abambalwa noma amalungu omndeni ukuthi banokukhathazeka. Uma benza, khona-ke kudingeka udlale ngokucophelela ukuthi lokhu kuwubuhlobo obuhle yini kuwe.
Khulume Ngaphezu Kwendodana Yakho
Kodwa-ke, uma ucabanga ukuthi indodana yakho iyamzonda isoka lakho ngomzamo wokuqalisa umzabalazo wamandla, ngingancoma ukuthi udwebe isikhathi esisodwa nanye nendodana yakho ukuze uxoxe ngobuhlobo. Uma uzicabangela ukushada ngesikhathi esithile, ake indodana yakho yazi ukuthi isifiso onayo. Uma kufanelekile, ungavumela futhi indodana yakho ukuthi nawe, udangele ukuthi ubuhlobo bakho nobaba abukwazi ukusizwa, futhi ngenxa yalokhu, usulungele ukuqhubeka.
Qhubeka futhi wabelane naye ezinye zezinkomba ozibheka kumuntu, futhi umzise ukuthi isoka lakho lihlangabezana kanjani nalezi zinqubo. Isibonelo, "Ngifuna ngempela umuntu ongiphatha ngenhlonipho futhi unakekela futhi unomusa." Bese, wabelane ngendaba noma amabili ngesikhathi isoka lakho lidalula lezo zimfanelo kuwe.
Qedela ingxoxo ngokutshela indodana yakho ukuthi uyamthanda ngokungenasisekelo futhi uthemba ukuthi uzokusekela enjabulweni yakho. Ngaphezu kwalokho, mbuze ukuthi kukhona yini ongayenza ukuze ushintsho lube lula ngaye .
Uma usuke waxoxa ngaleyo ngxoxo, ngingathanda ukudala amathuba okuthi indodana yakho nesoka lakho bazane kangcono ngendlela engesabisayo.
Isibonelo, zama ukuphuma endlini bese wenza okuthile okujabulisayo ndawonye, futhi ubone ukuthi ithuba lokudlala liba nomthelela kanjani ubuhlobo babo.
Ikheli Noma Yikuphi Ukukhathazeka Unayo Nesoka Lakho, Kakhulu
Ngesikhathi esifanayo, uma uzizwa ukuthi isoka lakho lilukhuni kakhulu kumntanakho noma lilindele okungenangqondo, udinga ukukhuluma naye ngale mizwa. Ukuthatha izinto ezingeni elilandelayo ngaphandle kokuxazulula inkinga ebalulekile kungaba yisimemo sokungaboni ngaso linye phakathi kwendodana yakho nesoka lakho.
Okokugcina, yenza umzamo wokuba uzwela kakhulu endodaneni yakho ngenkathi usebenza ngalezi zinkinga. Ukubhekana nesahlukaniso kungaba nzima ngokwanele ezinganeni, ngisho nangaphandle kokwengeza ukuphola ukuxuba. Futhi kungenzeka ukuthi indodana yakho iyamzonda isoka lakho ngaphandle komqondo wokuba uphume noma ushiye ngaphandle. Noma yikuphi ukuzikhandla ongayitshala ekuxazululeni leyo mizwa kuyokwenza indlela ende ekufinyeleleni umqondo wokuvumelana ofunayo.