Wake wake wazibuza ukuthi abanye ogogo nomkhulu bangaba kanjani nobuhlobo obuseduze nabazukulu babo kanti abanye abenzi? Akuyona imfihlakalo. Ucwaningo luye lwafumanisa izimfihlo, kodwa lusaziwa nogogo nomkhulu.
UMerril Silverstein noVern L. Bengtson, phakathi kwabanye, baye bafunda umqondo wokuthi babibiza ngokuthi "ubudlelwane obuhlukahlukene" futhi babone izici eziyisithupha ezithonya lokhu "ubumbano." Nakuba ezinye zezici zingenakulawula, ezinye azikho.
Lolu lwazi alukwazi ukusiza ogogo nomkhulu abaye balahlekelwa ukuxhumana nabazukulu babo, noma labo abanezimpikiswano zomndeni ezijulile ezingadinga ukwelashwa ukuxazulula. Kodwa thina sonke, lolu lwazi lungabaluleka.
1. Ukuqhathaniswa komzimba
Akumangalisi ukuthi ukuhlala eduze kwesinye isikhathi kungenye yezinto eziqine kakhulu zobuhlobo obuseduze phakathi nogogo nomkhulu nabazukulu. Lesi sici singase singabi ngaphansi kokulawulwa kogogo nomkhulu, nakuba abanye baye babonisa ukuzimisela ukuthutha ukuba basondelane nabazukulu babo. Ezinye izici, ezifana nesimo sezempilo nezemali zikagogo nomkhulu kungaba yizici uma zikhawulela ukuhamba. Ibanga elingamazwe akuyona into ebaluleke kakhulu kunogogo nomkhulu abafanelekile, abanempilo nangemali bakwazi ukukhokhela izindleko zokuhamba njalo ukuze babone abazukulu.
Nakuba ogogo nomkhulu bavuma ukuthi akukho okunye okumele kubhekane nokuhlangana ubuso nobuso, ubuchwepheshe buye benza kube lula ukwakha ubuhlobo nabazukulu ngaphesheya kwamamayela.
Ogogo nogogo abaningi bavakashela abazukulu babo nsuku zonke nge-FaceTime, Skype noma enye i-platform yokuxoxa ngevidiyo. Abazukulu abadala bazothola ukwazisa imiyalezo yothando, uma nje bengavamile kakhulu. I-Facebook nezinye izingosi zokuxhumana nabantu kuhle futhi ukuhlala uthintana nabazukulu abaphakathi, abasha nabadala abadala.
Okubalulekile ukuthi lo ugogo nomkhulu onothando bayothola indlela yokuhamba ibanga.
2. Ukuvama koxhumana naye
Ugogo nogogo abahlala bexhumana njalo nabazukulu babo babe nobuhlobo obuseduze, kodwa ibanga elincane akuyona nje isithiyo sokuxhumana. Isehlukaniso sabazali sinomthelela omkhulu ekukhulumeni phakathi kwabazukulu nabagogo nomkhulu. Ngokuvamile uxhumano luyakhula phakathi komzali wokulondeka nabazali bakhe, futhi ukuxhumana nabazukulu kuyanda, futhi. Kodwa abazali bomzali ongeyena ongalungelo lokubambisana bavame ukuthola ukuxhumana kwabo nabazukulu kakhulu. Njengoba abesifazane besakuthola ukugcinwa kaningi ngaphezu kwamadoda, iningi lezinzalamizi zobazali abanomama banomzimba othuthukisiwe nabazukulu babo ngemuva kokuhlukanisa, kuyilapho ogogo nomkhulu babazali banomsebenzi omncane. Yiqiniso, abanye obaba banqoba ukugcinwa, futhi ukugcinwa kokubambisana kuqhubeka. Mhlawumbe esikhathini esizayo isahlukaniso ngeke sithinte ubudlelwane bomkhulu-nkulu-nkulu njengokwenza njalo namuhla.
Umsebenzi Wezinkhulu Nomkhulu Kulowo Mndeni
Uma ogogo nomkhulu behlinzeka izingane ukunakekelwa izingane noma baba abazali abaqotho noma ababelethi kubazukulu babo, banethuba elikhulu kunazo zonke zokubopha.
Ogogo nogogo abaningi abafeza lezi zindleko, noma kunjalo, bafisa ukuthi bangaba "ugogo" okhulu kunokuba bagcwalise izicathulo zabazali. Futhi, ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi ukuhlala njalo kukagogo nomkhulu okuholela ekutheni kufinyeleleke kunomsebenzi abawenzayo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ungumkhulu-nkulu oye wabaphatha abazukulu, noma omkhulu "opholile" odlala nabo ikakhulukazi, ungaba eduze nabazukulu bakho.
4. I-Concept of Normalcy
Imindeni elindela ubudlelwane obuqinile phakathi kwezizukulwane kungenzeka ukuba nayo. Kungenxa yokuthi amalungu omndeni afundiswa kusukela esemncane ukuthi amalungu omndeni ahlanganyela izibopho.
Lezo zibopho zingase zibandakanye ukukhathalela izingane kanye nabantu asebekhulile, usizo lwezezimali kanye nokwabelana jikelele kwemisebenzi. Futhi usizo lugeleza kuzo zombili izinkombandlela - kusuka ezincane kuya ezindala, kusukela endala ukuya ezincane. Imindeni enalo hlobo lenkambiso ingcono kakhulu ukukhombisa izibopho ezinjengobukhulu bomkhulu-khulu kunemindeni lapho ukuzimela kanye nokuzimela kuphakamisa uhlu lwamagugu. Imindeni enjalo iphinda yamukele imikhuba egcina imindeni isondelene.
Ukubambisana ngokomzwelo
Nakuba ogogo nomkhulu nabazukulu bevame ukubika ubudlelwane obukhulu, ugogo nomkhulu bangabika ubuhlobo obuseduze kunesizukulwane esincane. Kungokwemvelo nje. Uma imindeni isebenza ngendlela efanele, izingane zisondelene nabazali babo kanye nabantakwethu. Ugogo nomkhulu ngokuvamile babamba isiyingi sabo sesibili noma isigaba sesibili sokusondelana ngokomzwelo. Njengoba izingane zikhula, imibuthano yabo ikhulisa, futhi ontanga yabo ibaluleke kakhulu kubo. Ugogo nomkhulu bangase baphinde baphume.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ugogo nomkhulu, bahlala ezweni lezinkimbinkimbi, njengoba ontanga yabo nezihlobo zabo zakudala zihamba, zihamba noma zibhekene nezinkinga ezinkulu zezempilo. Izingane zabo nabazukulu bangase bafike endaweni engaphezulu ekuphileni kwabo kunokuba bancane. Okubalulekile, noma kunjalo, ukuthi lokhokho nogogo abathuthukisa ukubopheka kokuqala ngokomzwelo nabazukulu bazothola ukuthi lezo zibopho zigcina. Izibopho ezinjalo zivame ukusinda ekuhambeni kweminyaka kanye nezinguquko eziningi izizukulwane zombili eziqhubekayo.
Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi isizukulwane esiphakathi sibaluleke kakhulu ekunqumeni ukusondelana. Uma ogogo nomkhulu kanye nabantwana babo abadala bebasondele, ukusondelana nabazukulu beza ngokwemvelo futhi kalula.
6. Ukufinyelela Ukuvumelana Ngezimiso
Abazukulu bavame ukutholwa abazali babo nogogo nomkhulu. Njengoba bevuthiwe, kunjalo, kungenzeka ukuthi bakhulise amaqoqo abo. Imindeni isondelene kakhulu uma yabelana ngamanani, kepha imindeni embalwa iyoke ibe nesivumelwano esiphelele. Abacwaningi bathi ngezinye izikhathi igebe lesizukulwane likhula lapho izizukulwane ezincane zithola izizukulwane ezikhulile ezingenakubekezelelana komphakathi futhi zithandeka nobuzenzisi. Ugogo nomkhulu akufanele balahle izindinganiso nezindinganiso zabo, kodwa ukuzimisela ukulalela isizukulwane esincane kungahamba ngendlela ende. Futhi ugogo nomkhulu kufanele baqiniseke ukuthi benza lokho abakushoyo.
Isingatha phezulu
Nakuba lezi zinto eziyisithupha zinethonya ekujuleni komkhulu nogogo, isimo sengqondo sogogo nomkhulu yisici esibaluleke kakhulu. Ukucwaninga kubonisa ukuthi uthando ngogogo nomkhulu alukwakhiwa ebuhlotsheni bomkhulu nabazukulu. Ngamanye amazwi, abazukulu abazuzi ngokuyinhloko ugogo nomkhulu wabo. Esikhundleni salokho, bafunda ukuxabisa ugogo nomkhulu wabo kanye nendlela abahlala ngayo leyo ndima. Ogogo nomkhulu ovalwe noma abangenakuvulwa akunakwenzeka ukuthola indawo yokuhlonipha emndenini womndeni. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ugogo nomkhulukazi abaphumelela ekudaleni umdanso womndeni nokugqugquzela izingxabano akunakwenzeka ukuba amalungu omndeni aqakathekile. Konke kubo, kungumkhulu omkhulu ozimisele ukwakha ubuhlobo obunamandla obuhlala njalo nabazukulu abangahle baphumelele.