Yini okufanele uyenze uma u-kati wakho eqala ukuphola
Imiphumela yokuthandana neshumi nesishiyagalolunye ayizange isetshenziswe kahle, ikakhulukazi ngoba "ukuphola" ngaphambi kuka-13 kuvame ukusho kuphela ukuhamba ngezinsuku zeqembu noma "ukuphuma" ngaphandle kokuya noma kuphi. Kodwa-ke, lezi zinsuku, izinyanga eziyishumi nambili zisebenza ngokuningi nangaphezulu njengabasha, ukwenza phakathi komuntu oyedwa kufana nokuvamile. Nakhu okushiwo ucwaningo ngemiphumela emibi yokuphola komuntu oyedwa; lezi zithole zingenza abazali baqonde ukuthi yiziphi izinto ezibhekene nazo lapho sithandana, nokuthi abazali bangabasiza kanjani futhi baqondise ngeminyaka yokuphola.
Iningi labachwepheshe bezokuthuthukiswa kwengane liyavuma ukuthi ukuqala kokuthandana kuqala, kungaba yingozi kakhulu, ngakho abazali kufanele benze okusemandleni abo, ngenxa yezizathu, bahlehlise ukuphola futhi bakhuthaze ukuba bathole injabulo nokugcwaliseka ngemisebenzi yangaphandle, izithakazelo, kanye nabangane.
Ukuqomisana Kwangathi Kungase Kukhulise Ukucindezeleka Nokuzijabulisa
Ukuqeda ukukhulelwa kunzima, futhi ukuphola kungenza kube nzima nakakhulu. Izingane ezisencane emshadweni zivame ukuba nezinkinga zengqondo kunezingane ezisashadile. Okokuqala, ukuguquka kwemizwelo kuvame ukuba nzima kakhulu kubantu abangu-13 kanye nentsha ebuhlotsheni kunabo ontanga. Okwesibili, izimpawu zokucindezeleka zivame kakhulu phakathi kokuthandana nentsha kunalabo abangenalo ukuthandana. Izimpawu ezicindezelayo kungenzeka ukuthi zenzeke ngokuzenzekelayo. Eqinisweni, phakathi kwentsha ehlakulela isifo esikhulu sokucindezeleka, i-break-up yinto evamile kakhulu ebeka isifo.
Ukuqeda Ukuhlangana Ngamanye Kungadala Izingxabano
Iningi labazali bayazi ukuthi iminyaka engama-20 ubudala ingaba iminyaka yokulwa, futhi ukuphola kungenza kube kubi nakakhulu. Intsha ebudlelwaneni bomshado ibika ukuthi kunezingxabano eziningi empilweni yabo kunokuba zenzane nabo. Lezi zingxabano zenzeka kokubili ngaphakathi kobudlelwane futhi zizungezile ubuhlobo.
Intsha evame ukungavumelani nabazali ngokuziphatha kwabo kokuthandana. Abangane nabo bangase bathukuthele ngesilinganiso sesikhathi esichithwa ngenye into ebalulekile.
Ukuthandana Kwangaphambi Kokuqala Kungase Kuholele Ekunciphiseni Isikhathi Nabangani
Lapho abantu abangu-13 kanye nentsha behileleka ebuhlotsheni bomshado, ngokuvamile bazinaki ubungane babo. Kutholakale ukuthi njengoba intsha ihileleke kakhulu ekuthandaneni, abahlanganyeli kancane nabangane, bethengisa isikhathi ngenye. Eqinisweni, amaphesenti angama-70% amantombazane asetsheni ebuhlotsheni abasebenzisa isikhathi esincane nomngane wabo omkhulu kunesoka labo. Izinsana ezithandana nazo zingase zingaphumeleli ekuthuthukiseni okuyinhloko kwezenhlalakahle nezomzwelo okwenzeka kumongo wobulili obufanayo kanye nobudlelwane obungenalo uthando .
Ukwehlukanisa Phakathi Kwenyusa Ukwanda Kwenziwe Ubulili
Mhlawumbe kusobala ukuthi abayishumi nambili kanye nabasha abahlala ebuhlotsheni banamathuba amaningi okubandakanya ezenzweni zobulili kunezontanga zabo. Ukuhlangana ngokobulili kuvame kakhulu kubantu abasha abahlala ebuhlotsheni obuqhathaniswa uma kuqhathaniswa nabasakhulayo abachungechunge lobuhlobo obungavamile. Kubuye kuvame kakhulu kubantu abasebancane abazwa ukukhulelwa kwasekuqaleni . Njengoba kunikezwe ingozi yokwandisa izifo zocansi kanye / noma ukukhulelwa, ukwandisa umsebenzi wobulili akuyona into ebaluleke kakhulu.
Qinisekisa ukuthi u-kati wakho uyazi ukuthi yini okulindelwe ngayo ngokuziphatha kwakhe, futhi unike ingane yakho izinsiza okufanele azenzele izinqumo ezihlakaniphile ngemizimba yazo.
Ukuthandana Kwangaphambi Kokuqala Kungase Kuze Kuhlangane Nezinye Izinkinga
Ucwaningo oluningi luye lwathola ukuthi ukuphola okuphakathi nokukhula kwentsha kuhlotshaniswa nezinyathelo zokuziphatha eziyingozi . Ngesinye isikhathi, intsha ebudlelwaneni ubudlelwane ithambekele ekusebenziseni utshwala ngokuphindaphindiwe nangokwengeziwe kunabangane babo. Eqinisweni, kutholakale ukuthi njengoba izingane zihileleke kakhulu ekuthandaneni, ukusetshenziswa kwabo kotshwala kuyanda ngesikhathi esisodwa. Okwesibili, ukuphola kwentsha kuhlotshaniswa nokuziphatha okuhlukumezayo kubandakanya ukweba, ukubhubhisa impahla nokukhohlisa.
Okokugcina, izindaba zezemfundo zivame ukuba zikhulu phakathi kwezingane ezingu-13 kanye nezintsha ezisebudlelwaneni kunezo ezingekho. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi lezi zinkinga ziziphatha ngenxa yokuphola noma ukuza nje kuphela lapho uhlala ocansini kusenkingeni.
Imithombo:
Collins, W. Andrew. Okungaphezu kweyinganekwane: Ukubaluleka Okuthuthukako Kobuhlobo Bothando Phakathi Nengane Yokukhula. I-Journal of Research on Adolescence. 2003. 13.1: 1-24.
UDavies, uPatrick T., noWelle, uMichael. Izindlela Zokuqhathanisa Ezinganeni Zomphakathi kanye Nokulungiswa Kwezengqondo. I-Merrill-Palmer ngekota. 2000. 46: 90-118.
UGurian, Anita, Ph.D. Amantombazane, Amantombazane: Okudingwa Abazali Ngomshado Ongashadile. I-NYU Child Study Center. Kufinyelelwe ku-Mashi 1, 2011: http://www.aboutourkids.org/articles/boyfriends_girlfriends_what_parents_need_know_about_teenage_dating
I-Zimmer-Gembeck, uMelanie J. Ukuzinza, Ukuguqulwa nokuHlukana komuntu ngamunye ekubandakanyekeni nabangane kanye nabalingani abathandanayo phakathi kwabesifazane abasha. Journal of Youth and Adolescence. 1999. 28.4: 419-438.