Amadodakazi Okubeletha Ngokumelene Nokubeletha Ngama-Singletons
Yini ehlukile ngokuphindaphindiwe kokubeletha?
Ukungabikho kokuzalwa kweDynamics yokuzalwa
Abafowabo baka-Singleton basakaza eminyakeni eminingana baqala ukuhleleka kwemvelo. Ngaphandle kokuthonya ukuthuthukiswa komuntu, ukuzalwa kokuzalwa ngokuvamile kubeka izinga lokuthi izingane ziphathwa kanjani emindenini. Abazali abadala asebekhulile, abalandeli abancane balandela. Izingane ezindala zinenkululeko eyengeziwe, kodwa futhi nemithwalo yemfanelo eminingi, njengoba ikhula.
Izingane ezincane zibuka futhi zifunde kusuka kubantwana babo abadala. Kukhona ukungafani kwemvelo kwamakhono ngenxa yobudala.
Kodwa ukuphindaphindwa kuyilanga elifanayo, futhi - ngokuvamile - esigabeni esifanayo. Babhekana nezinyathelo ezibalulekile ngesikhathi esisodwa. Bahamba ngesitimela cishe ngesikhathi esifanayo, isitimela samanzi ngesikhathi esisodwa (ngokuvamile), futhi baqala isikole ndawonye. Nakuba abanye abazali bebeka izici zobuntu zobuningi ezizalweni zabo ngokusekelwe ekuzalweni kokuqala, kubizwa ngamanga. Ngaphandle kwezindima ezichazwe ngokusungulwa komyalelo wokuzalwa, iziphindaphinda zakha inguqulo yazo siqu yokuhleleka, futhi ngokuvamile abazali bazo kufanele babhekane nokuwa.
Ukukhulisa abazali abaningi njengabantu ngabanye
Wonke umzali unomsebenzi wokuqondisa izingane zabo njengoba zikhula zaba ngabanye. Lapho abazali beziphindaphindana babhekene nenselele eyengeziwe ekusizeni izingane zabo zibe ngabanye naphezu kwazo - nokusekela - isimo sabo njengeningi.
Naphezu kwemizamo engcono kakhulu yabazali yokwelapha izimpande zabo njengezinkathazo, ukugwema ukufaniswa nokulayishwa, ukulwa njalo ukuvikela imibono yomphakathi. Iziqu eziningi zibhekene nokuhlukumeza futhi zihlale zibhekene nokuqhathaniswa ngenxa yezinwele zabo. Abangane babo, omakhelwane, othisha kanye namalungu omndeni ahlose kahle bazozama ukuwafaka futhi abahlukanise.
(Ungumfana omuhle, amawele amahle, amawele amahle ... Uma umuntu ethanda i-baseball, omunye kufanele futhi ... Uphumayo, ngakho amawele akhe kufanele abe namahloni.)
Lapho abantakwabo abangabodwa bevame ukuzwa ukugonywa kwezingane zakubo, imiphumela ihlaselwe ukuzalwa nokuhamba kwesikhathi. Sineminyaka (noma ngezinye izikhathi izinyanga eziningi) ukufeza izinyathelo ezibaluleke kakhulu ezibekwe izingane zakudala. Ngokuphindaphindiwe, izigameko ezinkulu zilindeleke ukuba zikanyekanyekanye.
Ngakho-ke, kubaluleke kakhulu kubazali beziphindaphindiwe ukuba banqobe izinkolelo, ukubeka uphawu lokubhala kanye nokuqhathanisa ngokunikeza isiqondiso esiqhubekayo nokukhuthazwa ezinganeni zabo, bezisekela njengoba zikhula njengabantu ngabanye ngaphakathi kobuhlobo babo njengezimpande.
Ukuhlukaniswa kwempahla yabazali
Abazali abaningi beziphindaphinda bazizwa benselele ukuhlukanisa isikhathi sabo, ukunakekelwa nothando phakathi kwezingane zabo, okungaphezu kokuthi izingane zakubo zingabonanga iminyaka eminingi. Ukuba nezingane ezineminyaka ehlukene kwenza kube namathuba amaningi okwenziwe ngezikhathi ezithile: izinsana zokulala uma izingane ezindala ziphapheme. Izingane ezindala zihlala phezulu ebusuku. Izingane ezindala ziqala isikole ngenkathi intsha isesekhaya.
Ngokuvamile izinto eziningi zenza konke ngesikhathi esisodwa.
Balele ngesikhathi esisodwa, futhi bavuke ndawonye, okwenze kube nzima kubazali ukuthola isikhathi esisodwa ngomuntu ngamunye. Abazali beziphindaphindiwe kufanele benze umzamo ohlanganyelwe wokubophezela nengane ngayinye.
Ukulondoloza ukulingana kungenye inselelo enkulu kubazali beziphindaphindiwe. Lapho i-oda lokubeletha elikhukhumezayo livame ukukhipha izinto ze-singletons, ngokuvamile kuba umzabalazo kubazali bamawele noma ngaphezulu ukuqinisekisa ukuthi ingane ngayinye ithola ukwabelana kwayo okuhle. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yisikhathi, ukunakwa noma izimpahla ezibonakalayo, akunakwenzeka ukuba uhlale ulingana phakathi kwe-multiples, ukubeka abazali ngokukhungatheka nokuzizwa unecala.
Ukukhulisa iBond
Isibopho esiphakathi kwamaphilisi sinzima futhi sinzima kakhulu. Amawele angaba abangane abakhulu ngomzuzu owodwa, futhi izitha ezibuhlungu okulandelayo. Lapho abazali bama-singleton bephikisana nobudlelwane bezingane zakubo, ubuhlobo phakathi kwama-multiples buyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu, ngokombono wami. Ukufundisa izimpande zabo ukuxazulula izingxabano ngendlela enempilo nokuqinisa isibopho phakathi kwabo kuyinselele enkulu kubazali.
Ayikho i-Do-Overs
Wonke umuntu ufunda emaphutheni abo, akunjalo? Ngeziphindaphindiwe, azikho "okwenziwe ngokweqile." Ngengane ngayinye ihamba ngesigaba esifanayo kanye nesigaba kanyekanye, akukho ithuba lokufunda kusuka ekuhlangenwe nakho okudlule. Abazali beziphindaphindwa abanalo inzuzo yokubukeza.
Ithimba lethegi
Awukho yini isisho esithi kukhona "ukuphepha" ngezinombolo? Ngingafakazela ukuthi kukhona ingozi enkulu uma kuziwa eziphindaphindiwe. Njengeqembu, iqoqo lamawele, ama-triplets noma ngaphezulu lingabangela ukuqhuma okuningi kunabantwana baka-singleton. Ukusebenza njengethimba, kungenzeka ukuthi bayamaqhawe, bathathe izingozi ezingaphezulu, futhi bashiye imingcele eqhubekayo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bayakhuphuka ukuze bafike eKhabhinethi eliphakeme, noma bebambisana ngokubambisana ekamelweni lokuhlala, ukuphindaphindwa kugcina abazali bezinzwane zabo.
The Good Stuff
Naphezu kwezinye izinselele kanye nezinselele, ukuba namawele noma ukuphindaphinda kuyinjabulo enkulu. Kuyi-privilige ukuba ibe umbukeli futhi uhlanganyele ebuhlotsheni babo obuhlukile futhi obukhethekile. Kukhona izinga lokunethezeka nokusebenza kahle kubantwana bokubeletha ngesikhathi esisodwa; ezinye zezici ezingathandeki (ukungalali ebusuku, ukuqubuzana, ukuqeqeshwa kwamanzi, izinkinga zentsha) kufanele kukhuthazwe kanye kuphela. Kunesilinganiso "sesidumo" esihlanganiswe nokuba namawele noma ama-mulitples; abanye abazali bayakujabulela ukunakwa lapho abanye behlazeka. Kodwa ikakhulukazi, kunenjabulo enkulu nokuthokoza ngokuphindaphindiwe kokubeletha, wonke umzuzu oqhoshayo wanda futhi yonke injabulo elula iphakanyisiwe.