Uhlobo Lwesiyalo Olugxile Emibonweni
I-coaching coaching ingenye yezinhlobo eziyisihlanu zokuqondisa ezisekelwe kakhulu kumcwaningi womqondo wezwe waseWashington uJohn Gottman. Ngokusho kocwaningo lukaGottman, lapho abazali bebanika izingane amakhono adingekayo ukubhekana nemizwelo, bayoba nokuzethemba okukhulu, benze kangcono esikoleni, futhi bajabulele ubudlelwane obuhle.
UGottman wachitha iminyaka efunda ukuthi abazali bangakwazi kanjani ukusiza izingane zifunde indlela yokuphatha kahle imizwelo yabo emibi nangemihle.
Uqede inqubo ibe yizinyathelo ezinhlanu ezigxila ekufundiseni izingane mayelana nemizwa ukuze bafunde ukwenza izinqumo ezingcono.
1. Qaphela imizwelo
I-coaching coaching idinga abazali ukuba baqaphele imizwelo yengane yabo kanye nemizwelo yabo. Ukuvumela wena nomntanakho ukuba nenkululeko yokuzizwa noma yimuphi umzwelo yinhliziyo ye-coaching coaching. Imizwa ilungile futhi akekho okufanele ahlulelwe noma agxeke ngenxa yokuzwa ngendlela ethile.
Qaphela izindlela ingane yakho eziphendula ngayo imizwelo efana nokukhathazeka, ukudabuka, intukuthelo nokujabula. Bheka izici, ezifana nolimi lomzimba, izenzo zobuso, nezinguquko zokuziphatha.
Qaphela ingane yakho ukuba ihambisane nendlela eveza ngayo imizwa ehlukahlukene. Lokhu kuzokusiza ukuba ubone ukuxhumana phakathi kwemizwa yakhe nokuziphatha kwakhe.
2. Xhuma Nezingane Zakho
UGottman uncoma abazali ukuba baxhumane nezingane zabo ngokusebenzisa okuhlangenwe nakho okukhulu ngokomzwelo.
Esikhundleni sokuguquka lapho ingane inesibindi sokungazinaki ukuziphatha- okunjalo kunconywa ekuguqulweni kokuziphatha -ukuthi coaching iphakamisa imfundo eqondile.
Khuthaza ingane yakho ukuqaphela imizwelo yakhe. Msize agcwalise imizwa yakhe.
Ungenele uma uqaphela ukuthi ucasuka ukuze ukwazi ukunikeza isiqondiso nokuvimbela ukungalungi.
Ungazami ukulungisa imizwelo emibi yengane yakho kodwa umbonise ukuthi kuvamile ukuba nezinhlobo eziningi zemicabango.
3. Lalela Umntanakho
Ukulalela ingane yingxenye ebalulekile yokuqeqesha imizwelo. Qinisekisa imizwa yengane yakho futhi umbonise ukuthi uyayamukela imizwa yakhe.
Futhi, bonisa ukuthi uthatha imizwa yengane yakho ngokungathí sina. Gwema ukusho izinto ezinjengalezi, "Ungakhathazeki. Akuyona into enkulu," ngoba izinselelo zezingane zakho ziyinto enkulu kuye.
4. Gama imizwelo
Siza ingane yakho ifunde ukuthi ingabonwa kanjani futhi ibukeze imizwa yakhe. Ungazami ukumtshela lokho okufanele akuzwe.
Ngakho esikhundleni sokuthi, "Ungesabi," bonisa ukuthi ubonakala sengathi uzizwa kanjani ukuqinisekisa ukuthi imizwa yakhe ilungile. Yisho into enjengokuthi, "Kuyinto evamile ukuba nesaba ngaphambi kokuqala esiteji."
Ukubhala imizwa yengane yakho kuyokwandisa isilulumagama sakhe sengqondo. Ukwengeza, uma ubonisa ingane yakho uqonda ukuthi uzizwa kanjani, uzobeka amandla amancane ukuzama ukukubonisa ukuthi uphelelwe amandla.
Thola Izixazululo
I-coaching coaching igxile ekuvikeleni ukungalungi uma kungenzeka . Uma ingane ingena esimweni lapho kungenzeka ukuthi ikhungatheke khona kalula, msize aqaphele izindlela zokuphatha ukukhungatheka kwakhe kusengaphambili.
Yithi, "Ngiyazi ukuthi ngiya esitolo sokudla kunzima ngoba kuthatha isikhathi eside futhi ngezinye izikhathi uzizwa unesineke. Namuhla, uma uqala ukuzizwa ukhungathekile, ngitshele futhi sizophumula imizuzu embalwa ukukusiza ukuzola. "
Uma ingane yakho ingalungile, mkhuthaze ukuba abone lowo mzwa oholela ekuziphatheni. Bese, fundisa amakhono okuxazulula izinkinga futhi usebenze ndawonye ekutholeni izixazululo zokudala.
Uma kunokwenzeka, ake izingane zihlakulele izixazululo zazo zokudala. Ngakho uma ingane yakho iphonsa izinto lapho ithukuthele, hlala phansi ndawonye futhi udale uhlu lwezinye izinto angayenza uma ehlanya.
Angase anqume ukwenza ama-jacks angu-10 wokugwedla, ukudweba izithombe, noma ukubhoboza amabhubhu kumsiza ukuba asebenze nentukuthelo yakhe.
Khona-ke, esikhathini esilandelayo lapho ethukuthela, mkhuthaze ukuba azame ukusebenzisa enye yemibono yakhe ukuzola.
Bamba ingane yakho ibe yinhle kaningi ngangokunokwenzeka bese usebenzisa indumiso ukukhuthaza ukuziphatha okuhle . Beka imingcele uma kunesidingo ngokusebenzisa amasu wokuziphatha njengemiphumela enengqondo noma isikhathi .
Nikeza imiphumela emibi lapho ingane yakho ingalungile . Yenza kube lula ukuthi ulungisa ukuziphatha kwengane yakho, hhayi imizwa yakhe . Ngakho-ke uma kulungile ukuthukuthela, akulungile ukushaya.
> Imithombo:
> Lisitsa E. An Isingeniso Emotion Coaching. I-Gottman Institute. Ishicilelwe ngo-February 20, 2017.