Ukuhlola kubonisa ukuthi abafana bangaba nobudlova ngaphezu kwamantombazane
"Abafana kulula ukukhulisa kunamantombazane."
"Ngiyajabula ukuthi akudingeki ngibhekane nomdlalo wezingane. Abafana baxazulula izinto ngokushesha. "
Izitatimende ezifana nalezi zivamile uma kuziwa ekuxoxiseni ukungezwani ngendlela amantombazane nabafana abahlukumezayo ngayo . Eqinisweni, kubhalwe okuningi mayelana namantombazane asho ukuthandana nokuhlukunyezwa ngokobudlelwane, ukuthi abantu abaningi bazi kahle ukuthi kubonakala kanjani.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umzila ovela ku-movie ye- Mean Girl noma ukushintshaniswa phakathi kwamantombazane ku-Instagram, abantu abaningi bangabona kalula amantombazane asho .
Kodwa kuthiwani ngabafana? Ingabe zilokhu zisho ngezindlela ezifanayo amantombazane angase asho, asakaze amahemuhemu futhi angabandakanyi abanye? Ucwaningo olusha luthola ukuthi ukuziphatha okushiwo ukuthi okushiwo ngokuyinhloko kumantombazane kungase kube khona kakhulu kubafana.
Ngokusho kwabacwaningi baseYunivesithi yase-University of Georgia, abafana basebenzisa ubudlova obuhlobene nokuhlukunyezwa noma ukuxhaphaza kakhulu noma okungaphezu kwamantombazane. Eqinisweni, ngokusho kocwaningo abafana abaningi babonisa indlela yokuhlukunyezwa ngokobudlelwane esikoleni esiphakathi kanye neminyaka emihle kunamantombazane. Eqinisweni, ucwaningo lwabonisa ukuthi abafundi ababika ukuthi ukuziphatha kwakungaphezu kuka-66% wesilisa.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, lokhu akusona kuphela ukutadisha ukubuza ukuthi amantombazane yibo kuphela abangakwazi ukuthinta. Ukutadisha izingane ezivela emazweni ayisishiyagalolunye ahlukene akutholanga umehluko emkhatsini wamantombazane nabafana uma sekusho ukuziphatha noma ukuhlukunyezwa ngokobudlelwane.
Kubantu abaningi, lokhu kuza njengokumangala. Iningi labantu alihlobanisi ukuxhaphaza, ama-cliques , ukuhleka nokuhleka kwamahemuhemu nabafana. Uma becabanga ngabafana nokuhlukunyezwa, babonisa ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba, ukubiza amagama kanye nezinye izinhlobo ezibonakalayo zokuxhashazwa. Kodwa izifundo zibonisa ukuthi zenzeka.
Mhlawumbe umehluko ukuthi abafana abakhulumi ngakho njengamantombazane.
Kodwa uma ubheka ubuhlobo obusolwa nabafana esikoleni esiphakathi nendawo ephezulu, uzoyibona. Omunye umfana uzobe esendleleni yokuphepha kwezenhlalakahle ngenkathi enye ibonakala sengathi ihlaselwa umphakathi. Lokhu akukwenzeka nje ngengozi. Izici ezifana namandla angokwenyama, ukuphakama, ukuheha, ukugijima, ukuhlakanipha, ukuhleka kwamanye amazwe nokunye okuvelele ukubeka abadlali ababeka isiteji sokuphumelela komphakathi kubafana.
Futhi kubonakala sengathi isifiso sokwamukelwa kuhlangene nokuncintisana kwemvelo kwabafana kungaholela ekuziphatheni okunentshisekelo okufana nalokho okuye kwabonakala kumantombazane kule minyaka efanayo. Ngenxa yalokho, abafana abangenzi ibanga ngokuvamile bawela isisulu sokuxoshwa, ukuhlambalazwa nokuhlukunyezwa abanye abafana.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuhlukunyezwa ngokobudlelwane kungahle kube khona ngisho nakubangane obude. Ngaphansi kodoti ukukhuluma, ukuvinjelwa kanye nokuphikisana, abafana balwela ukwamukelwa njengamantombazane. Eqinisweni, izinsuku zabafana abaningi zigcwele izinselelo eziningi ezifanayo zomphakathi ezibhekene namantombazane.
Kodwa eziningi zalezi zinselelo ngokuvamile aziqapheli abazali nabafundisi ngokuyinhloko ngoba abafana abakhulumi ngalokho abakutholayo. Ngokuvamile abafana bahlanganyela imizwa yabo lapho iqembu labafana lingabafaki emdlalweni webhasikidi noma bawashiye ohlwini lokumenyisela iqembu.
Esikhundleni salokho, babambelela entukuthelweni noma bafune izindlela zokuthola ngisho. Ukwengeza, umphakathi ulindele ukuba bangakhathazeki nakho.
Kodwa ukushintsha ukuhlukunyezwa kubafana nokubhekana nobudlova obuseduze, abazali nabafundisi kudingeka bahlomise abafana ngezindlela zokubhekana nazo nokuvimbela ukuziphatha okushoyo. Ukuphila kwabo ngokomzwelo, ukuzethemba kanye namakhono omphakathi kushukunyiswa kakhulu lolu hlobo lokuhlukunyezwa, ngisho noma bengasho lutho.
Nakuba ucwaningo oluningi luzodinga ukuqhutshwa ngendaba "yabafana abaqondayo," kucacile ukuthi abazali nabafundisi kudingeka babhekane nezinkinga zokuhlukunyezwa kwabafana kubafana. Izinhlelo zokuvimbela ukuxhaphaza kumele zihloswe ukunciphisa ukuhlukunyezwa kobudlelwane phakathi kwabafana namantombazane ngokulingana.
Ukubhalisa ukuhlukunyezwa ngokobudlelwane, noma ukuziphatha okushoyo, njengenkinga ethi "intombazane kuphela" kuyinkinga enkulu kubafana.