Nsuku zonke, izingane zihlushwa, zilawulwa, zixoshwa, zihlukunyezwa, ziboshiwe, zihanjiswe futhi zihlaziswa. Kodwa nokho konke okuhlangenwe nakho kuhluke kuye ngokungafani kuphela kohlobo lwe-bully kodwa nakubulili boxhaso. Uma kuziwa ekuhlukumezeni, abafana namantombazane bayayifinyelela ngendlela ehluke kakhulu. Ngokwesibonelo, amantombazane athambekele ekusebenziseni ubudlova obukhulu lapho abafana bevame ukusebenzisa ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba .
Lokhu akusho ukuthi amantombazane angeke abe nobudlova noma abafana ngeke bahlukanise abanye, kodwa kukhona ukuthambekela kokuxhashazwa okuthonywe ubulili. Nakhu ukuhlolisisa ukuthi yini ebeka ukuxhaphazwa kwabantu ngaphandle kokuhlukunyezwa kwabesifazane.
Ukubheka Ngokucophelela Ukuhlukunyezwa Kwabesilisa
Uma kuziwa ekuziphatheni okuhlukunyezwa , abafana bavame ukuba banomzimba obuthakathaka futhi abangenangqondo kunamantombazane. Ngenxa yalokho, bazohlasela abanye abantu lapho bebonisa ubuthakathaka. Ukwengeza, ezinye izihlukumezi zesilisa, noma ama-alume angama-alpha, ngokuvamile zihlanganisa iqembu labafundi abafuna ukwamukelwa. Ngenxa yalokho, laba bafana, noma abalandeli, bayokwenza noma yini noma bathi noma yini ukuze bahlale behlala ngaphakathi kweqembu.
Ngokufanayo, izihlukumezi zesilisa zivame ukujabulela isimo sokulwa. Ngenxa yalokho, bangase bahlanganyele ekuziphatheni okwesabisayo futhi ngokuvamile baqondise ngqo uma behlukumeza abanye . Lapho abafana beqhaqhazela , bazohlukumeza bobabili amantombazane nabafana.
Baye bavame ukuvuleka ngokwengeziwe ngokuziphatha kwabo kokuxhashazwa, okwenza kube lula ukubona izihlukumezi zesilisa.
Leli qiniso alisho ukuthi abafana abahlanganyeli ekuhlaselweni kobudlelwano nakuba. Kunezinhlobo eziningi zezinguqulo zesilisa zentombazane enhle . Kubantu abaningi lokhu kungafika njengamangalisa. Abantu abaningi abahlanganisi ukuxhaphazwa, ama-clique, amahemuhemu nokuxoshwa nabafana.
Kodwa kwenzeka njalo. Eqinisweni, isimo somfana esikoleni esikoleni asenzeki ngengozi.
Ukuxhashazwa kwamadoda amaningi kuthonywa " ikhodi yomfana ." Lokho kusho ukuthi abafana bahlelwe ngumphakathi ukuba bathathe isethi yemithetho kanye nokuziphatha okuchaza ukuthi kusho ukuthini ukuba umfana. Lokhu kufaka izinto ezifana nokuzimela, i-macho, i-athletic, enamandla futhi ephezulu. Uma bengabonisi lezi zici noma bamukele izinto ezibhekwa njengezikazi, khona-ke zibhekwa njenge-wimpy. Ngenxa yalokho, ukuba yilokho okunye ngaphandle kwalokho umphakathi okulindelwe kungabenza kube isisulu sokuxhashazwa.
Ngokuvamile, abafana baningi amathuba okuhlukunyezwa nokuhlukunyezwa kunamantombazane. Futhi bamukela ngokwengeziwe ukuziphatha kokuxhashazwa kunamantombazane. Lokho kusho ukuthi abafana bangase bathande intombazane ngisho noma behlukumeza abanye abantu. Futhi, bangase babe abangane nomfana ohlukumezayo abanye. Okokugcina, ukuhlukumezeka kuhloswe ukuphela ngokushesha phakathi kwabafana kunalokho okukwenza namantombazane. Ngenxa yalokho, abafana bangavumela izinto ukuba zihambe. Kodwa amantombazane avame ukubamba ama-grudges.
Ukubheka Ngokucophelela Ukuxhashazwa Kwabesifazane
Amantombazane avame ukuhlukumeza amanye amantombazane ngokuqondile noma ngokusebenzisa ukuhlukunyezwa ngokobudlelwane . Ngenxa yalokho, basebenzisa ukuhlambalaza, ukuxoshwa , ukusakaza amahlebezi nokuhleba - okuyingxenye yokuziphatha kwentombazane enhle .
Ngaphezu kwalokho, amantombazane afihla ukuhlukumezeka kwabo futhi asebenze ngezindlela ezinonya, okwenza kube nzima nakakhulu ukuhlukunyezwa kwentombazane nentombazane.
Njengabafana, amantombazane nawo ahlanganisa amaqembu emphakathini. Kodwa emaqenjini amantombazane, ikakhulukazi ama-clique , amantombazane ahlala emncintiswaneni njalo. Ngenxa yalokho, abazethembi ngempela ngaphakathi kwe-clique. Isibonelo, umholi e-clique uvame ukukhathazeka ukuthi nganoma isiphi isikhathi uzolahlekelwa amandla akhe kwelinye ilungu leqembu elibonakala lifaneleka kakhulu kunalo. Uma lokhu kwenzeka, i-clique izokwakhela umholi omusha.
Iningi labantu abahlukunyezwayo besifazane abenzi lutho.
Kunalokho, bavame ukuba nama-accomplices noma abalandeli abeseka ukuziphatha kwabo. Ukwengeza, amantombazane azohlangana nomuntu oyisihlukumezi sokuqala ukuze athole ukuma kwezenhlalakahle eqenjini elinikeza ukucindezelwa kontanga nokuxhaphaza ngisho nalapho beyazi ukuthi akulungile.
Phakathi naleso sikhathi, amantombazane abhekana nokuxhashazwa ngokobulili ngaphezu kwabafana. Isibonelo, amantombazane angase abe namahemuhemu asakazwa ngemisebenzi yobulili kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yiqiniso kangakanani izimangalo. Futhi, kungenzeka ukuthi ekupheleni kokuthola imiyalezo yezocansi noma ukuhlukumeza kubafana.
Okokugcina, amantombazane avame ukulungiswa kakhulu ekuhlukumezeni kwabo ngenkathi abafana bevame ukuxhaphaza ngokusekelwe ematheni. Ngenxa yalokho, amantombazane avame ukuthola ukuhlukumezeka kwengqondo ngenxa yokuthi kuthatha ukuhlela futhi abafana bavame ukuthola ukuhlukumezeka ngokomzimba ngenxa yokuthi ngokuvamile bayaphambuka.
Izwi elivela ku-Verywell
Ngenxa yokuthi abafana namantombazane baxhaphaza ngokwehlukana, kubalulekile ukwazi ukubona lezo zohluko. Uma kungenjalo, ukuxhashazwa kuzovame ukungaqondakali, ikakhulukazi emantombazaneni. Uma lokhu kwenzeka, imiphumela yokuhlukunyezwa ibalulekile. Eqinisweni, ukuxhashazwa okuqhubekayo kuyaqhubeka kakhulu kakhulu impendulo futhi kuyothatha isikhathi eside ukunqoba ukuxhashazwa .