Ngokuvamile, abazali abacabanga ngokuthola isehlukaniso bazobuza ukuthi yimiphi iminyaka engcono kunazo zonke izingane zabo. Ngenkathi kungekho "inombolo yemilingo" echaza ukuthi izingane zihlala zinamandla kangakanani, iminyaka iyadingeka. Kodwa akuyona yedwa kuphela. Uma ucabanga ngokufakela isehlukaniso, nansi izinto eziyishumi okufanele uzigcine engqondweni.
Okufanele Ucabangele Ngaphambi Kokuhlukanisa
- Yeka ukuthi abantwana bakho banamathele kangakanani kumzali ngamunye. Izingane ezinamathela okuqinile kubo bobabili abazali zingase zibe nesikhathi esinzima kakhulu ukubhekana nazo ngoba zizwa ziphoqelekile ukuba zithembekile kubo bobabili. Ngaphezu kwalokho, khumbula ukuthi izingane zakho zinelungelo lokugcina uxhumano olufanayo kumzali ngamunye abawujabulela ngaphambi kokuhlukanisa. Ngakho-ke uma izingane zakho zisondelene nabo bobabili manje, kungase kudingeke ukuba udlule ngesehlukaniso ngokulindela ukuthi uzokwabelana ngokugcina.
- Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi izingane zakho zithole okunye ukulahleka. Ukudabuka kuthinta izingane njengoba nje nabantu abadala. Futhi uma izingane zakho zisanda kudlula ukulahlekelwa othandekayo (noma ngisho nesilwane), ukuhanjiswa, noma ukushintsha izikole, ukuhlukanisa kule ndawo kungabathinta ngokujulile .
- Yeka ukungqubuzana okungakanani abafakaza ekhaya njalo, futhi bakhula kanjani. Ukuveza ukungqubuzana okukhulu kwekhaya akuhlali njalo kwenza ukuhlukana kube lula kubantwana, kodwa kungabangela ukudumazeka abanye.
- Yeka ukuthi isehlukaniso singathinta kanjani ukusimama kwezomnotho kwezingane zakho esikhathini esifushane nesikhathi eside. Ngokwesibalo, abesifazane nabantwana bangase bashiywe ngemali encane emva kokuhlukanisa. Njengoba unquma ukuthi yini okufanele ukwenze, futhi nini, cabangela ikhono lakho lokukhokha izidingo zezingane zakho - njengendawo yokukhosela, ukudla, nezingubo - kanye nanoma yimiphi imisebenzi noma "okungeziwe" abakhulile.
- Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuzodingeka bahambe noma bashintshe izikole. Ngokusobala, izikole ezishintshayo zizohlanganisa zonke ezinye izinguquko isahlukaniso sizoqala. Cabanga ukuthi abantwana bakho banamathele kangakanani kubangani babo, okwamanje, nokuthi ukuthuthela edolobheni elisha kungathinta kanjani labobudlelwano.
- Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi banabangane abaye baqeda isahlukaniso somndeni. Ukwazi ezinye izingane zokuqala isandla esiye sabhekana nesahlukaniso kungasiza izingane zakho ukuzizwa zingasodwa uma uqhubeka nale nqubo.
- Ikhono lomzali ngamunye lokubhekana nokubhekana nezinguquko ezihambisana nenhlukaniso. Cabanga ngendlela oyothola ngayo ukuzinakekela kwakho ukuze ukwazi ukukhombisa amandla nokuqina izingane zakho ezizodinga.
- Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uzokwazi ukusebenzisana ne-ex yakho. Ukubonisa ukuzimisela ukuxhumana nokusebenza kwakho ngokuphumelelayo, futhi kaningi, kuzodlulisela ezinganeni zakho umuzwa wokuzinza njengoba uhamba ngalesi sikhathi sokuguquka komndeni ojulile. Cabanga ngekhono lakho lokubeka eceleni ukuziqhenya kwakho, ngezinye izikhathi, ukwenza okusemandleni ezinganeni zakho - ngisho nalapho ukwenza kanjalo kuyoba nzima kakhulu, ngokomzwelo.
- Umlando ngamunye wengane wokubhekana nezinguquko. Yonke ingane ihlangabezana nesahlukaniso ngokuhlukile. Kodwa uma unengane enenkinga ngokuguquguquka, ngokujwayelekile, kufanele ulungele ukuthi lo msebenzi ube nzima nakakhulu.
- Iminyaka yabo. Okokugcina, iminyaka iyadingeka ngokucabangela. Izingane ezincane kakhulu ziyoba nezincane uma zikhona, izinkumbulo zokuhlala ndawonye njengomndeni. Lapho abantwana bakho behlanganisa ubudlelwano babo nomndeni owakhe wadala, kunzima ukwamukela lolo shintsho futhi uqhubeke.
Akekho kulezi zici okufanele zibhekwe njengezizathu ezicacile zokuthi "ngenxa" noma "ngokumelene" nesahlukaniso. Wena nomngane wakho womshado yilabo kuphela abangenza isinqumo ngalokho okulungile wena nomndeni wakho. Njengoba ucabanga ukuthi isehlukaniso singathinta kanjani izingane zakho, cabanga ukuthi uhlela amasonto ambalwa nomthandi womndeni - kungaba ngokwakho noma ndawonye.
Uchwepheshe angakusiza ukuthi usebenze ebuhlotsheni bese uphinde ucabange ngesahlukaniso noma uthathe izinyathelo ezinempilo ekushintsheni okuphambi kwakho.