Ukuba umuntu ongaphelele akufani nokuba nezindinganiso eziphakeme
Mhlawumbe uzwile umzali ekhuluma ngokuziqhenya ngokuthi, "Indodana yami yahlala ubusuku bonke yenza umsebenzi wakhe wezesayensi kahle. Uyingcosana ye-perfectionist! "Kodwa noma yikuphi umzali ocabanga ukuthi ukuphelela okuphelele kuyinto uphawu lwesikhundla cishe akaqondi ukuthi ukuphelelisa kuyinkinga enkulu.
Uma ukhulisa umuntu ophelele, cishe uye wazibonela ukuthi kunzima kanjani.
Amaphepha abhidliwe, ubusuku obumnyama, neziqephu zokukhala ziyizinto ezimbalwa zokuziphatha ongase uzibone ku-perfectionistist.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ingane yakho iyancibilika phansi noma nini lapho enza iphutha ensimini yezemidlalo noma echitha amahora nsuku zonke ezama ukuthatha i-selfie ephelele , ukuphelela okuphelele kubangela ukuphila kwezingane. Futhi lapho ihamba ingavinjelwe, ingaba nemiphumela yomhlaba wonke.
Yiziphi Izimbangela Zokuzivumelanisa?
Kuhle ukuba izingane zibambe izinto eziphakeme ezizimele. Kodwa uma bekulindele ukuthi konke kuphelele, ngeke neze baneliseke ngokusebenza kwabo.
Abaphelelisi bezimiso bazibekela izinhloso ezingenakwenzeka. Khona-ke, zibeka ukucindezela okukhulu ukuba zizame futhi zifinyelele imigomo yazo. Benza konke ukucabanga noma akukho lutho. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi i-99 ekuvivinyweni kwezibalo noma ama-shots angama-9 kwangu-10 ayenziwe, abaqedile ukuveza ukuthi ukusebenza kwabo kuyinto ehlulekayo uma behluleka imigomo yabo.
Lapho bephumelela, balwela ukujabulela lokho abakwenzayo. Bavame ukuchofoza impumelelo yabo enhlanhleni futhi bakhathazeke ukuthi ngeke bakwazi ukuphinda baphendule imiphumela noma balondoloze izinga labo impumelelo.
Izinhlobo Zokuphelelisa
Abanye abacwaningi bakholelwa ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi ube ngumuntu ophelela ukuphelela, okusho ukuthi ukulindela okungenangqondo kwengane kungamkhonza kahle empilweni.
Kodwa abanye abacwaningi bathi ukuyiqiniso okuphelele kuhlale kuyingozi.
Abacwaningi baye baqaphela izinhlobo ezintathu ezihlukene zokuphelela:
- Perfectionists abazivumelanisayo - Bamba izilingo ezingenangqondo ngokwabo
- Ama-Perfectionists ahlose abanye - Beka izindinganiso ezingenangqondo kwabanye abantu
- Ama-Perfectionists Ahlelwe Ngomphakathi - Kholwa abanye abantu, njengabazali noma abaqeqeshi, banamathemba angenangqondo kubo
Zonke izinhlobo ezintathu zokuphelela zingalimaza inhlalakahle yengane.
Izimpawu
Izimpawu zokuxwayisa zokuphelela ziyahlukahluka kuye ngokuthi ubudala bomntanakho bunjani futhi uhlobo lokuphelela okuhlangenwe nakho. Kodwa, ngokujwayelekile, izimpawu zokuphelela kungahlanganisa:
- Ukuzwela okukhulu ukugxekwa
- Kunzima ukuqedela izabelo ngoba umsebenzi akakaze 'uwanele'
- Ukuzilungiselela ukugwema imisebenzi enzima
- Ukuziqhenya, ukuziqhenya, nokululazeka kalula
- Kubaluleke kakhulu kwabanye abantu
- Ukwenza izinqumo noma ukubeka phambili imisebenzi
- Ukwehliswa okuphansi kokucindezeleka lapho kwenzeka iphutha
- Ukukhathazeka okukhulu okuzungezile ukwehluleka
Izingozi Zezingozi
Ososayensi bacabanga ukuthi kunezici eziningana ezingabangela ekupheleleni izingane.
- Izinto eziphilayo - Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi ukuphelela ukuphelela kuhlobene eduze nokugula kwengqondo okuthile, njengokugula okucindezelayo okucindezelayo nokukhathazeka kokudla. Lokhu kuholela ososayensi ukukholelwa ukuthi kungase kube khona isakhi sezinto eziphilayo ekupheleleni.
- Amathonya omzali - Ukudumisa ingane yakho ngokuba "ingane ehlakaniphile kunazo zonke esikoleni" noma "ukubambelela njalo lapho uhlala khona e-gymnastics" kungenza ukuba akholelwe ukuthi amaphutha ayimbi. Angase acabange ukuthi kufanele aphumelele kuzo zonke izindleko.
- Abazali abaphelele ukuphelelisa - Abazali abaphelele ukulungela amathuba amathuba okukhulisa izingane abaphelelisi. Lokhu kungase kutholakale ekuziphatheni okufundiwe uma ingane ibona isifiso somzali sokuphelela noma ingabonakalisa nesimo somzimba.
- Izingcindezi zezemfundo - Izingane zingesaba i-GPA engaphansi kunamaphesenti angaphansi noma aphansi kunezilinganiso zokuhlolwa eziphelele zizochitha imizamo yabo yokungena ekolishi elihle. Abanye bazama ukuba baphelele ukuze bakwazi ukuthola ama-scholarships. Lezi zinkinga zemfundo zingabenza bazizwe sengathi badinga ukuphelela ukuze bathole noma kuphi ekuphileni.
- Ukuzwela kwempumelelo nokuhluleka - Kusuka kubadlali be-elite kuya ku-star star yakamuva, abezindaba bavame ukuveza abantu njengabantu abaphelele. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ezinye izindaba zomsakazo zizwakala ukuthi kwenzeka kanjani iphutha elilodwa eliholela omunye ukuba ahluleke ngokuphelele. Lezizindaba zomsakazo zingase zikhombise abantu abasha abadingayo ukuba baphelele kukho konke abakwenzayo.
- Isifiso sokujabulisa - Ezinye izingane zifuna ukuthokoza futhi zithande ngokubonisa ukuthi zingaphelele ngazo zonke izindlela. Lokhu kungase kubangelwe isifiso sokunciphisa ukucindezeleka komzali noma kungase kube yindlela kuphela umuntu osemusha owaziyo ukunakwa.
- Ukuziqhenya okuphansi - Ingane ezwa kabi ngaye ingase icabange ukuthi ihamba kahle nje kuphela. Abaphelelisi bavame ukugxila emaphutheni abo futhi bancishise ukufezeka kwabo, noma kunjalo, okubavimbela ukuba bangazizwa benempilo ngokwanele.
- I-Trauma - Okuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu kungabangela abantwana bazizwe sengathi abathandwayo noma ukuthi ngeke bavunyelwe ngaphandle uma bephelele.
Izingozi Ezenzekayo Zokuphelelisa
Ukuba umuntu ongapheleleko ngeke kwenze ingane yakho iphakamise phezulu. Eqinisweni, ukungapheleli kungaba nomphumela ohlukile. Nazi ezinye zezinkinga zokuphelelisa okungase zizwe.
- Ukukhathazeka ngokwenza iphutha kuvimbela abanye abaphelele ukuphumelela ekuphumeleleni . Ukwesaba kwabo ukwehluleka kuvimbela ukuba bangazami izinto ezintsha.
- Izingane eziphelela ekupheleleni zivame ukuzifihla ubuhlungu nokuhlukunyezwa kwabo . Bazizwa bephoqelekile ukuba bavele bephelele ngaphandle, futhi ngenxa yalokho, abaningi babo bahlupheka ngokuthula lapho kuphakama izinkinga.
- Ukungapheleli kungabangela izinkinga zempilo yengqondo. Ama-Perfectionists angase abe engozini enkulu yokucindezeleka, ukukhathazeka nezinye izinkinga zempilo yengqondo .
- Izinga eliphezulu lokucindezeleka. Njengoba abaphelelisi bezwa ukuthi baphoqelekile ukuba bagweme amaphutha, bangaphansi kwamazinga aphezulu okucindezeleka ngaso sonke isikhathi. Futhi ukucindezeleka okukhulu kungaba kubi empilweni yomuntu nengokomzwelo.
Indlela Yokubhekana Nokwenza Okuphelele
Uma ubona izimpawu zokuxwayisa ukuthi ingane yakho i-perfectionistist, kunezinto eziningana ongazenza ukuze usize. Nanka amanye amasu okubhekana nokuphelela.
- Dumisani imizamo yengane yakho kunokuba umphumela. Gwema ukudumisa ingane yakho ngokuthola i-100 ekuhloleni isipelingi sayo. Kunalokho, mdumiseni ngokutadisha kanzima. Futhi, mdumise ngokuphatha abanye ngomusa noma ngokuba umngane omuhle. Yenza kucace ukuthi ukuphumelela akuyona into ebalulekile kuphela ekuphileni.
- Yabelana ngezindaba zokwehluleka kwakho. Yenza kucace kumntanakho ukuthi awuphelele. Mtshele ngesikhathi ositholanga umsebenzi noma isikhathi lapho uhlulekile ukuhlolwa. Chaza ukuthi uhlangabezane kanjani nokuhluleka kwakho.
- Fundisa amakhono okubhekana nokuphilisa. Nakuba ukwehluleka kungakhululekile, akunakubekezelelwa. Fundisa ingane yakho indlela yokubhekana nokudumazeka, ukwenqatshwa, kanye namaphutha ngendlela enempilo. Ukukhuluma nomngani, ukubhala ephepheni, noma ukudweba isithombe kumane amakhono ambalwa okubhekana nawo angamsiza ukuthi ahlangabezane nemizwa yakhe.
- Yenza isibonelo sokuzikhulumela okunempilo. Fundisa ingane yakho ukuba isebenzise ukuzwelana ngokuphambene nokuzigxeka. Zixoxisana nawe ngokuzwakalayo ukuze ubonise ingane yakho ukuthi uziphatha ngomusa ngisho nalapho wenza iphutha. Yisho izinto ezifana nokuthi, "Ngikhohliwe ukuya ebhange namhlanje ngaphambi kokuthi ivaliwe. Ngizozama ukwenza kangcono kusasa, "noma" Angizange nginakekele isitofu futhi ngashisa isidlo sakusihlwa. Ngizothola okunye okumele siwudle futhi ngizolalela lapho ngipheka. "
- Qapha okulindelekile. Qinisekisa ukuthi awuyikucindezela ingane yakho ukuba iphelele. Dala ukulindela okuphakeme kodwa okulinganiselayo. Futhi uqaphele okulindelekile ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ukuqinisekisa ukuthi awulindele okuningi kusuka kwengane yakho. Uma ehluleka ukuhlangabezana nemigomo yakho noma ingane yakho ifuna ukuyeka ukuzama ukufinyelela imigomo yakho, ungalindela okuningi kuye.
- Siza ingane yakho ukuthi ikwazi ukuthi ingakwazi ukulawula nokuthi yini engakwazi ukuyenza. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ingane yakho ifuna ukuba yi-basketball engcono kunazo zonke esikoleni noma ifuna ukuqeda konke ukuhlolwa kwe-biology, yenza kucace ukuthi ayikwazi ukulawula izimo eziningi ezithonya impumelelo yayo. Akakwazi ukulawula ukuthi kunzima kangakanani uthisha ukuba enze ukuhlolwa kwakhe futhi akakwazi ukulawula ukuthi oontanga bakhe benza kahle kangakanani, kepha angakwazi ukulawula umzamo wakhe.
- Beka imigomo engokoqobo nengane yakho. Khuluma nengane yakho ngemigomo afuna ukuyifinyelela. Uma imigomo yakhe idinga ukuphelela, khuluma naye ngezingozi zokubeka imigomo ephakeme engapheliyo futhi kumsize ahlele imigomo engokoqobo.
- Siza ingane yakho ithuthukise ukuzihlonipha okunempilo. Yenza imisebenzi eyenza ingane yakho ijabule ngokuthi ungubani, hhayi nje lokho akufezayo. Ukuzithandela, ukufunda izinto ezintsha, nokuzibandakanya emisebenzini yobuciko kuyizindlela ezimbalwa zokusiza ingane yakho ukuba ihlakulele umbono onempilo ngaye.
Nini Ukufuna Usizo Lomsebenzi
Qaphela izibonakaliso zokuthi ukuphelela kwengane yakho kubangela izinkinga zomphakathi. Isibonelo, uma ingane yakho yenqaba ukuzijabulisa ngoba isesimweni sokuthola ibanga eliphelele noma ikhala noma nini lapho ingatholi i-A ekilasini, impilo yakhe yomphakathi ingase ihlupheke futhi ingadinga usizo lochwepheshe.
Izinkinga zemfundo kuyisinye isibonakaliso sokuxwayisa ukuthi ingane yakho ingazuza ngokukhuluma nomsebenzi wezempilo yengqondo . Isibonelo, uma ingane yakho ingakwazi ukuqedela amaphrojekthi ngoba ucabanga ukuthi umsebenzi wakhe awunelungelo noma uyasiphumula amaphepha akhe noma nini lapho enza iphutha, usizo lwezobuchwepheshe lungadingeka.
Uma ukhathazekile ngokuthi ingane yakho ingu-perfectionist, khuluma nodokotela oyinhloko yokunakekela ingane yakho. Xoxa ngezibonakaliso ozibonayo futhi wabelane ngokuthi lezo zinkinga zithinta kanjani impilo yengane yakho.
Udokotela angathumela ingane yakho engcweti yezempilo yengqondo ukuze kuhlolwe. Uma ukwelashwa kuqinisekisiwe, ingane yakho ingase izuze ekwelashweni ukunciphisa ukuphelela kwayo.
Imithombo:
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Cook Cook, Kearney CA. Umzali wokuphelela nokuphefumula kwengqondo nokugula kwengane. Ubuntu kanye nokuhluka komuntu ngamunye . 2014; 70: 1-6.
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I-Hill AP, i-Curran T. Ukulinganisa okuningi kwe-Multi-dimensionism nokushisa. Ukubukeza Komuntu Nokuhlalisana Kwama Psychology . 2015; 20 (3): 269-288.
U-Vicent MCAD, u-Inglés CJ, uSanmartín R, uGonzálvez C, u-García-Fernández JM. Ukuqhathanisa nokuhlukunyezwa: Ukukhomba amaphrofayli engozini ezinganeni. Ubuntu kanye nokuhluka komuntu ngamunye . 2017; 112: 106-112.