Kungani kugxile ekuphumeleleni kwezingane kuphela kungaba nemiphumela emibi
Ingabe ingane yakho ingayiphendula kanjani uma othile ebuza ukuthi ungathanda yini ngaphezulu, ukuze afunde ukuthi angaba nomusa kanjani kwabanye noma ukuthi athole amamaki amahle? Ingabe ingane yakho ingasho ukuthi ungumzali okhathalela izinto ezinjengesihawu, uzwela , nokuhlonipha abanye noma umuntu ofuna ingane yakhe ukuba ifike kumamaki aphezulu ekhaya futhi iphumelele emisebenzini yangaphandle ngaphandle kokucabangela abanye abantu?
Impendulo, iyavela, ingaba inkomba ebalulekile yokuthi ingane yakho ihamba kanjani ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ekuphileni. Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi yiziphi izingane ezicatshangwa abazali bazo abafuna zona zingadlala indima ebalulekile ekwakheni amathuba engane yomphumelelo kanye nenhlalakahle yesikhathi esizayo. Uma abazali becindezela izingane ukuba ziphumelele esikoleni nasemisebenzini, ikakhulukazi uma kugcizelela amamaki nokufeza izinto ezifana nobubele kanye namakhono omphakathi, kungaba nomthelela omubi ekwenzeni inhlalakahle yezingane nentuthuko kamuva ekuphileni futhi kwandisa ingozi yokucindezeleka , ngokusho kocwaningo lukaNovemba 2016 ngabacwaningi e-Arizona State University. Ngamanye amazwi, umusa ubala.
I-Cons of Pushing Kids ukufeza konke okunye
Njengoba kunikezwe ukuthi ingcindezi yokuphumelela idlula kunanini nanamuhla njengoba izingane zibhekene nokwanda komncintiswano wezemfundo nokuphumelela kwezemfundo, abacwaningi bafuna ukuthola ukuthi izimo zengqondo zabazali zidlala kanjani empilweni yengqondo yengane nokusebenza kwezemfundo.
Bacela abantu abangu-506 abayisithupha abavela emphakathini ocebile ukuba bahlele izinto ezintathu eziphezulu eziyisithupha ababekholelwa ukuthi abazali bazo bafuna zona.
Amagugu amathathu ahlobene nokuphumelela komuntu siqu, njengokuthola amamaki amahle nokuthola umsebenzi ophumelelayo kamuva empilweni, futhi izindinganiso ezintathu zihlobene nomusa nokuhlonipha kwabanye abantu.
Bese baqhathanisa lezi zimpendulo ngendlela abantwana abazenza ngayo esikoleni, babheka kokubili amamaki kanye nemibiko yokuziphatha.
Bathole ukuthi imiphumela emihle yayiphakathi kwezingane ezazikholelwa ukuthi abazali bazo bazisa umusa ngokuphindaphindiwe noma ngaphezulu kunempumelelo yabo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, izingane ezazibona abazali bazo njengokugxila kakhulu ekufinyeleleni okuba nomusa kwabanye zazivame ukubhekana nemiphumela emibi, njengokucindezeleka, ukukhathazeka, ukuzethemba okuphansi , izinkinga zokuziphatha , ukugxeka abazali, izinkinga zokufunda, futhi amamaki aphansi.
Umlayezo ocacile: Lapho abazali bephoqelela ukufeza ngenhloso yokuzwela nokuhlonipha, kubeka isiteji sokucindezeleka, ukucindezeleka, ukukhathazeka, kanye namanani ampofu, okuzobonakala ngesikhathi sebanga lesithupha. "Ngisho noma umzali oyedwa kuphela egcizelela ukusebenza kwezemfundo, amamaki ayengabantu abampofu," kusho umlobi-mbhalo we-suniya uSuniya Luthar, Ph.D., uprofesa wesisekelo wesayensi ye-psychology e-Arizona State University kanye noprofesa ovela e-Columbia University's Teachers College.
Izindinganiso izingane ezibona ukuthi abazali bazo zidlala indima ebalulekile ekuthuthukiseni izingane, ikakhulukazi kule minyaka. Izingane ezifaka esikoleni esiphakathi zinezinguquko eziningi, zicabanga ukuthi zingobani nokuthi zicabanga ngani ngezwe elibazungezile.
Kulesi sikhathi sokushintsha okukhulu, isimo sengqondo sabazali mayelana nokufezeka, izibonelo abazibeka endleleni abaphatha ngayo abanye abantu, kanye nesitayela sabo sokubeletha kungaba nomthelela omkhulu ekuthuthukiseni kwabo.
Indlela Abazali Abafanele Bakhuthaze Ngayo Izingane
Ngenkathi kungekho lutho olungalungile ngokukhuthaza izingane ukuba zizame konke okusemandleni, inkinga ibonakala ibonakala lapho abazali bephonsela, begxeka futhi banikeza izingane umlayezo okudingayo ukunqoba ngazo zonke izindleko noma ukuthi ukuzethemba kwabo kufanele kuvele ekuqinisekiseni kwangaphandle njengamabhaso noma amamaki aphezulu esikhundleni sobuhlobo obuhle nojabulisayo nabanye. Nazi ezinye izindlela abazali abangasiza ngazo izingane ziphumelele ngenkathi zisekela ngendlela enempilo nangenzuzo.
Zama ukungalokothi ukhulume nabantwana bakho ukuthi badinga kanjani ukusebenza kanzima. "Uma ungumzali osebenza kanzima, unomsebenzi omuhle, futhi engenayo imali engenayo, akusizi ukuphoqa ingane yakho," kusho uDkt. Luthar. Izenzo zakho zibeka isibonelo esicacile, futhi akudingekile ukuba uphinde uphinde uphinde umyalezo odingekayo ukuze uthole amamaki amahle; Kunalokho, kube khona ukusekela izingane zakho uma zishaya inkinga futhi zibazise ukuthi kufanele baziqhenye ngemizamo yabo emihle.
Ungagxila ekutheni badinga ukunqoba noma babe yibahamba phambili. Njengoba kunikezwe ukucindezeleka okungakanani izingane ezibhekene nazo namuhla ukuze ziphumelele, kubaluleke kakhulu kunanini ngaphambili kubazali ukugxila ezindinganisweni ezinhle nokusekela kunokugxeka futhi banikeze "i-buffer," kusho uDkt. Luthar. "Wonke umhlaba unikeza izingane umlayezo okudingayo ukuba usheshe uphinde wenze ngcono; akukho ukuphuma kulowo myalezo. "
Ungalokothi ugxeke. Enye yezindlela eziqinisekisayo zokuzethemba izingane ukuzethemba ukuveza ukwehluleka kwazo futhi ugxile kulokho abakwenzile okungalungile. Kunalokho, siza izingane zakho zivele izindlela zokuxazulula izinkinga, futhi ubazise ukuthi uziqhenya ngemizamo yabo. Hlala uhle futhi ubasize bona babone izixazululo esikhundleni sokungahambi kahle futhi babambe izinkinga.
Banike umyalezo wokuthi umusa ubala. Njengoba lolu cwaningo lubonisa ngokucacile, izimo zengqondo zokunqoba zizonke zibuyela emuva. Xoxa nezingane zakho ngokubaluleka kwezinto ezinjengokuba nobuqotho, ukubonisa abanye ukuhlonipha, nokubonisa imikhuba emihle , futhi kungani ukungabi nomusa noma ukuphindaphinda abanye noma ukuzidla noma ukulimaza kungalimaza ubuhlobo, futhi ukhumbuze ukuthi abangane nomndeni unjalo, uma kungenjalo okubaluleke kakhulu kunalokho, impumelelo nemiklomelo.
Bheka izenzo zakho kanye namazwi akho. Uma utshela ingane yakho ukuthi uzojabula uma nje ezama konke okusemandleni akhe kepha emgxeka uma enganqobi noma ethukuthele uma engeyona into engcono kakhulu, khumbula ukuthi izenzo zingase zikhulume kakhulu kunamazwi, ikakhulukazi uma kuziwa emibonweni yezingane.
Ngaphansi
Khumbula ukuthi ukukhuthaza ingane yakho ukuthi ibe yinto engcono kakhulu kuyinto enhle, uma nje unikeza ingane yakho umbono othile futhi uyenze ngokulinganisela. Zibuze ukuthi ingane yakho ingayiphendula kanjani imibuzo yocwaningo mayelana namanani akho. Uma impendulo ukuthi bangasho ukuthi uyazisa amamaki amahle namapumelelo ngaphezu kwanoma yini enye, thatha isinyathelo emuva futhi wenze izinguquko ezithile ezenzweni nasemagama akho.
Njengoba nje ukukhathazeka okungcono (futhi kungasiza izingane zenze kahle ngokuhlolwa, isibonelo). Kuningi okungaba ukukhubazeka, kusho uDkt. Luthar. Ukutshela izingane ukuthi izibalo zokuwina kuphela "ziningi izinto ezinhle, nemiphumela esabekayo," kusho uDkt. Luthar.
Ngenkathi lokho okutholakele kubonisa imiphumela eyingozi yokucindezela kwabazali, kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukulinganiselwa kwesifundo sokuhlukaniswa kwesigaba. Ngaphandle kocwaningo olwengeziwe, kungaba nzima ukuthola iziphetho.