"Ukuxazulula Izinkinga Zokulala Zengane Yakho" nguDkt. Richard Ferber, uM MD wayengenye yezincwadi zokuqala zokulala ukusiza abazali ukuba bahole izingane zabo ukuba zilale ubusuku. Ishicilelwe ekuqaleni ngo-1985, yabuyekezwa ngo-2006 futhi iyaqhubeka iyincwadi enhle yokukhulisa izingane.
Kodwa nakuba abazali abaningi befunga ngencwadi kaDkt Ferber kanye neFerber yokuqeqesha ukulala, ngokuvamile kuvame ukuqondwa ngabanye abacabanga ukuthi kuvele ukuthi abazali bayashiya izingane zabo ukuba zikhale yedwa ubusuku bonke.
Kunezincwadi eziningi nezindlela zokulala ezingakusiza ukuba izingane zakho zilale kangcono futhi zilungise izinkinga zabo zokulala, kodwa indlela kaFerber nakanjani okufanele uyihlole.
Indlela ye-Ferber
Indlela ye-Ferber akuyona nje "ukukhala" indlela yokwenza ingane yakho ilale. Esikhundleni salokho, njengokunye "izindlela zokukhala," izindlela zikaDkt Ferber zizokusiza ufundise ingane yakho ukuba ilale futhi ilale ubusuku bonke ngaphandle kokukhala noma nokukhala okungenani.
Kungani kunemicabango eminingi engalungile mayelana nendlela kaFerber?
Kungenzeka ukuthi abaningi kubazali abangavumelani nencwadi kaDkt Ferber abazange bayifunde ngempela. Futhi abanye bafunda kuphela izingxenye zalo, bamane befunda ingxenye ekhuluma ngokuvumela ingane ukuba ikhale isikhathi esifushane, kodwa yeqa izingxenye ezikhuluma ngezigaba zokulala, indlela yokuhlakulela izinhlangano zokulala ezifanele kanye nokuhlala isikhathi esihle sokulala , nezinye izinto lokho kunganciphisa ukukhala nokusiza ingane yakho:
- balala kalula ngesikhathi sokulala
- ulale ubusuku bonke
- ulale ubuthongo kalula uma evuka phakathi nobusuku
- thatha kalula
Izikhathi Zokulala Nokulala Izinhlangano Zokulala
Izinhlangano zokulala yizona izinto ingane yakho ezihlobana ngayo nokulala noma ukuthi isetshenziswa kanjani ukulala. Ukwehlukanisa ubudlelwane obunzima bokulala nokuthuthukisa ubudlelwane obuhle bokulala ubona izihluthulelo ezimbili zendlela yeFerber nokulala ubusuku obuhle.
Ngokucacile, uDkt. Ferber uthi kufanele ufundise ingane yakho ukuba ilale yedwa futhi ukuthi akufanele ihlanganise ukulala ngokugubha, ukugubha umhlane, noma umculo, njll.
Kungani lokhu kubalulekile? Uma ingane yakho isetshenziselwa ukulala lapho uhlahlela emuva noma lapho ulele embhedeni naye, khona-ke cishe kuzodinga usizo olwengeziwe ukuze aphinde alele futhi noma nini lapho eqala isigaba sokulala phakathi nobusuku, njengoba sonke senza, futhi sivuka ngokugcwele. Izingane ezinezinhlobo ezinhle zokulala futhi ezilala ngokwabo zivame ukulala ngokulala ngaphandle kosizo, noma nje ziqhubeke zilele, lapho ziya esigabeni sokulala esincane.
Ngakho ingxenye yokuqala yendlela yeFerber ukuthi uqinisekisa ukuthi awuyena oyedwa wabangane bakho bokulala nokuthi awunamatheli, uyidwala, noma ukhulume nengane yakho lapho elala, njll Ukubhoboza emuva , ukumvumela alalele umculo, noma aphuze ibhodlela lobisi noma ijusi, nanoma imuphi omunye umbandela ongeke awuphinde uvuselele wona phakathi nobusuku kungaba ezinye izinhlangano ezimbi zokulala. Esikhundleni salokho, fundisa ingane yakho ukuba ilale yedwa ngokuhlala njalo ngesikhathi sokulala lapho iphetha ngokuthi usho kahle ukuthi ingane yakho iyisilwane noma umbhede ngenkathi elele kodwa ephapheme.
Ukulinda okuqhubekayo
Enye ingxenye enkulu yenqubo ye-Ferber yiNqubo Yokulinda Okuqhubekayo yokubhekana nokulahla ukulala nokuvuka phakathi nobusuku noma lokho abanye abantu abakucabanga ngokuthi "bayikhala" ingxenye yeFerber indlela.
Uma usuqedile noma yikuphi ukuhlangana kwabantu abalala kahle, baye bahlakulela isikhathi esihle sokulala, futhi baqonde ukubaluleka kokubeka ingane yakho ukulala yedwa (izinhlangano ezinhle zokulala), ngakho-ke kufanele wazi ukuthi yini okufanele uyenze lapho engafuni ukuya ukulala noma ukuvuka.
Indlela yeFerber incoma ukuthi uvumele ingane yakho ikhale isikhathi eside isikhathi eside ngaphambi kokumhlolisisa ngokufushane.
Khumbula ukuthi umgomo wakho uma uhlola kuye ukuzimisela nje ukuthi ingane yakho ilungile futhi iqinisekisa ingane yakho ukuthi usesekude, futhi akufanele imenze ayeke ukukhala noma amsize alele.
Isibonelo, ngobusuku bokuqala ungabheka ingane yakho ngemuva kokukhala imizuzu emithathu, imizuzu emihlanu, bese kuthi imizuzu engu-10, imizuzu engu-10 ibe yisikhathi esiphezulu uma uqhubeka uhlola kuye, nakuba izikhathi qala kabusha emaminithini amathathu uma evuka futhi kamuva. Khona-ke uzobe ukwandisa izikhathi ngemizuzu embalwa futhi ngobusuku obulandelayo, nakuba uDkt. Ferber ethi ungakwazi ukushintsha nezikhathi uma ungazizwa ukhululekile ukulinda isikhathi eside, uma nje ukwandisa izikhathi ngezikhathi zonke.
Ukusebenzisa le ndlela, uDkt. Ferber uthi izingane eziningi zilele kahle ngobusuku lwesithathu noma lwesine.
Ukukhala nokusebenza koFerber
Ngakho-ke kukhona abanye abakhala lapho usebenzisa indlela kaFerber, kodwa uDkt. Ferber uthi "kungavamile ukuba ingane ikhale amahora amaningana." Ngokuvamile, ingane yakho izolala ngesikhathi esisodwa sokuqala, okuya kuye ebusuku, uyibheka kuyo yonke imizuzu engu-10 noma engu-15.
Ingabe izingane zikhala lapho usebenzisa ezinye izindlela ukuze uzame futhi zize zilale kangcono? Yebo, bayakwenza. Ngisho ne-"no-cry" indlela, ingane yakho izolokhu ikhala njalo lapho ivuka. Umehluko neningi lalezo zindlela ngokulandela indlela kaFerber ukuthi ngokuvamile baqinisekisa ukuthi abazali bayathulisa ingane yabo ngokushesha nje lapho eqala ukukhala, ngaphandle kwesikhathi sokulinda. Kodwa njengoba umgomo ukufundisa ingane yakho ukuthi ilale ngokwayo, ngisho nalezi ezinye izindlela, cishe uzoqala ukukhala futhi lapho uyibuyisela phansi egumbini lakhe noma embhedeni, noma uma usuka ekamelweni lakhe kuze kube yilapho kudala ubudlelwane obuhle bokulala.
Kodwa khumbula ukuthi izikhathi ezincane zokukhala ngesikhathi sokulinda okuqhubekayo akufani nokuvumela ingane ukuba "ikhala" ubusuku bonke aze alale.
Futhi uma ufaka konke ukukhala okushiwo ingane yakho manje lapho evuka phakathi nobusuku, ikakhulukazi uma eqhubeka eyenzela amanye amasonto amaningi noma izinyanga, cishe kuyoba ngaphezu kwalokho angase akwenze ngokusebenzisa i-Ferber indlela. Futhi, ochwepheshe abaningi abacabangi ukuthi ukukhala lokhu kuyingozi noma kungesabi, kodwa kunalokho ngoba ingane ikhungathekile ukuthi ayikwazi ukulala.
I-Ferber Method Amathiphu
Indlela yeFerber isebenza kahle uma ulandela uhlelo ngokuseduze. Uma ingasebenzi, ngokuvamile ngenxa yokuthi umzali akalandeli indlela ejwayelekile yeFerber, njengokwesibonelo bavumela ingane yabo ukuba ikhale ngaphandle kokubheka noma ingavumeli ingane yabo ilele yodwa.
Esinye isizathu ukuthi indlela ye-Ferber ngezinye izikhathi ayisebenzi ukuthi umzali angase angahambisani nendlela, esebenzisa Ukulinda Okuqhubekayo izinsuku ezimbalwa, kodwa bese engena futhi ejikijela ingane yakhe ukulala ngoba ikhathele ngokwabo.
Ukwandisa amathuba abo okuphumelela ngendlela yeFerber, kufanele:
- Funda yonke incwadi kaDkt Ferber ethi "Sombulula Inkinga Yokulala Ingane Yakho" ngaphambi kokuthi ucabange ngokuqala.
- Qala phakathi nesikhathi lapho ungakwazi khona ukulahlekelwa ukulala nawe.
- Hlanganisa nendlela ye-Ferber uma uqala, okusho ukuthi wenze izinto ezifanayo emanzini, ngesikhathi sokulala, futhi uma ingane yakho ivuka phakathi nobusuku.
- Hambisa isikhathi sokulala kwengane yakho esikhathini lapho elala khona. Isibonelo, uma enesisindo sokulala ngehora lesishiyagalolunye ngehora lesishiyagalolunye, kodwa isikhathi sakhe sokulala sikhuphukela ku-9: 30 ntambama ngokukhala futhi ingane yakho iphuma embhedeni, bese uhambisa isikhathi sakhe sokulala emva kwesikhathi, ethi ubusuku obuhle futhi uqale ukulinda kwakho okuqhubekayo cishe 9:30 pm.
- Funda ukubeka imingcele, njengokungenisa ingane yakho ukuba ihlale ekamelweni lakhe ebusuku, ingafundi enye indaba yokulala, noma ingamtholi enye isiphuzo samanzi lapho elele embhedeni, njll, okunye okuyingxenye ebalulekile yeFerber indlela .
- Sebenzisa ama-stickers noma ezinye izinhlelo zokuvuza ezinganeni ezindala ezihlala embhedeni futhi zishiye izinhlangano ezimbi zokulala
- Cabanga ukusebenzisa i-countdown timer, njenge-iPhone, njengoba usebenzisa uhlelo oluqhubekayo lokulinda.
- Phendulela indlela yakho uma ungaboni ukuthuthuka emva kwamalanga amathathu noma amane.
UDkt Ferber
URichard Ferber, MD ungumprofesa ohlangene we-neurology eHarvard Medical School.
Abazali bezibuza ukuthi kufanele bathembele yini izindlela zikaDkt Ferber kufanele baqinisekiswe ukuthi naye ubhodi eqinisekisiwe ekudleni kwemithi kanye nokugula kwezifo futhi ungumqondisi weSikhungo Sezinkinga Zokulala Kwezingane eSibhedlela saseBoston, lapho eselaphe khona izingane ezinenkinga yokulala kusukela ngo-1978.
I-Ferber Method Q & A
Ngabe Ungaqala Kanjani Indlela Ye-Ferber?
UDkt. Ferber ucindezela ukuthi akufanele uqale umncane kakhulu, kodwa ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi uqale ukusebenzisa lezi zindlela ezinyangeni ezinhlanu ezinhlanu uma ingane yakho ingalali kahle ngoba yisikhathi lapho izinsana eziningi zikwazi ukulala ubusuku.
Ngabe Izingane Kufanele Zilale Ngani Ubusuku?
Izinsana eziningi zingalala ebusuku ngenkathi zinezinyanga ezinhlanu kuya ezinyangeni eziyisithupha ubudala.
Ingabe Ukuphumelela Ku-Pacifier Umhlangano Omuhle Wokulala?
Ngokuvamile, ikakhulukazi ezincane nezinschool, ngoba uma i-pacifier iphuma, cishe bayokukhala phakathi nobusuku.
Ingabe Indlela Ye-Ferber Yomuntu Wonke?
Cha. Njengabantwana abanemimoya ehlukene, abazali bangase babe nesimo sengqondo esingenza enye indlela ifaneleke kangcono kubo, njengo-Elisabeth Pantely's "No Cry Cry Solution" noma "Ayikho Impendulo Yokulala Yabantwana." Futhi, indlela ye-Ferber Yokulinda Ngokuqhubekayo i-kids ikakhulukazi izingane ezinobungozi obukhulu bokulala. Kungenzeka ukuthi ngeke kusebenze kahle uma ingane yakho ilele kabi ngesinye isizathu.
Indlela Ye-Ferber Isebenza Kanjani Kangakanani?
UDkt. Ferber uthi kufanele uvame ukubona "ukuthuthukiswa okuphawulekayo" ekubuthweni kwengane yakho "ezinsukwini ezimbalwa kuya kwesonto."
Ingabe uDkt Ferber Against Co-elele ?
Cha. UDkt. Ferber ubonakala esisekela noma yikuphi okusebenza kahle emndenini futhi unikeza izinzuzo eziningana nezinkinga zokubambisana. Uyala ukwehluleka ukulala uma ungafuni futhi ngenxa yokuthi awukwazi ukuthola ingane yakho ukuba ilele yedwa.
> Imithombo:
> Richard Ferber, MD Ukuxazulula Izinkinga Zokulala Zengane Yakho. Edition 2nd. I-Touchstone; 2006.