Indlela Yokuxazulula Izingxabano Zakho Zobubele Obubi kakhulu

Ukhathele Ukuphikisana? Indlela Yokuxazulula Izingxabano Eziningi Ezivamile Zabazali Abazali

Kungacishe kube nzima ukusebenzisana nomzali ngaphandle kokuphikisana ne-ex yakho njalo. Kodwa kubalulekile ukugxila esithombeni sesikhathi eside futhi wenze okungcono kakhulu kubantwabakho - hhayi ukuziqhenya kwakho, ukuthi yini ezwayo 'efanele' okwamanje, noma yini engakusiza 'ukunqoba.' Nazi ezinye zezinhlobo ezivame kakhulu zokuhlukunyezwa kwabazali bomshado, nokuthi yini ongayenza ngesikhathi esizayo lezi zinkinga zivela ebuhlotsheni bakho bomzali.

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Siphikisana Ngokuphathelene Nesikhathi Sokuzali

Zama ukukhumbula ukuthi kunengqondo ukuhlela umzali ngamunye ukuba asebenzise isikhathi esiningi nengane emva kokuhlukanisa njengoba enza ngaphambi kokuhlukana kokuqala. Ngaphezu kwalokho, khumbula ukuthi isikhathi izingane zakho esikoleni kanye nemisebenzi akuyona 'isikhathi sokubeletha' ngempela. Ukuvimbela ukuphikisana, yenza uhlelo oluhlelekile lokubeletha futhi ulubuyekeze okungenani kanye ngonyaka.

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Siphikisana Ngokusekelwa Kwezingane

Imindeni eminingi iqala ukucabanga ukuthi ukusekelwa kwengane kuyinkqubo eyenziwe kanye kanye nokwenziwe. Kodwa empeleni, kuzodingeka kube nezindleko ezengeziwe, izinguquko ukuthi kungakanani imali okumele ikhulise izingane zakho ngezigaba ezahlukene empilweni yazo, nokulungiswa kwemali engenayo - noma yikuphi okungathinta inani lokusekelwa kwengane. Uma uthola ukuthi uphikisana nokuphindwa kwakho ngokuphindaphindiwe ngokusekelwa kwengane, khumbula ukuthi izinkantolo zanikeze ngokusemthethweni i-oda lokusekela ingane, noma umzali angacela ukubuyekezwa ngenxa yokushintsha kwezimo kanye / noma izidingo. Kodwa-ke, amazwe amaningi anciphisa ukuthi zizobuyekezwa kaningi kangakanani ama-oda wokusekelwa kwabantwana, ngakho-ke uzofuna ukuhlola imihlahlandlela yokusekelwa kwengane yombuso wakho ukuze ufunde kabanzi mayelana nendlela yokucela ukuguqulwa kokusekelwa kwengane endaweni yakho.

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I-Ex Ex Yethula Izingane Zethu Ephakathi

Lokhu kuyinkimbinkimbi ukubhekana nayo ngoba mhlawumbe uzwa ngenkinga yesibili isandla esivela kubantfwana bakho. Lokho engikhuthazayo ukuthi ukhulume nesikhathi sakho sokuqala ngokuqondene nokukhathazeka kwakho bese ucaphuna izibonelo ezithile, uma kungenzeka. Kungase kube usizo ukuhlangabezana nomuntu wakho osesitolo esitolo noma enye indawo engathathi hlangothi kule ngxoxo, ngakho-ke ningakwazi ukukhuluma ngokukhululekile ngaphandle kwengozi yokuthi izingane zenu zizozwa ingxoxo yakho.

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Asiphikisani Ngokuqondiswa

Loluhlobo lwenkinga yokubambisana ngokubambisana lungahamba ngezindlela zombili, abanye abazali bebeka icala labo labadala kakhulu, kanti abanye abathi bangaphandle kwabo kunzima kakhulu ezinganeni. Futhi ekugcineni, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi izitayela zokubeletha zihlukile. Ngisho noma wena no-ex wakho behlala nihlala umbhangqwana futhi behlala ndawonye njengoba ukhulisa izingane zakho, uzobe usuphikisana nalolu daba. Futhi nakuba kungenangqondo ukulindela ukuthi u-ex wakho enze konke 'indlela yakho,' noma yini ezwayo kuwe njengengozi engaba yimbangela yokukhathazeka kwangempela. Ngakho kubalulekile ukuthi uqale ukuhlola okukukhathazayo ukunquma ukuthi ubhekene nenkinga yangempela yokuphepha noma okuthandwa ngumzali.

Uma amasu omyalo wakho wangaphambili ezwa sengathi awuphephile, khuluma naye ngaye noma, ngokukhathazeka okusheshayo ngokuphepha kwezingane zakho, shayela u-9-1-1. Ngokukhathazeka kokuphepha okungafinyeleli lelozinga le-alamu, kodwa kusadingeka ukuthi libhekiswe, khuluma nommeli wakho.

Ukuze uthole izindaba ezilula zokuziphatha ngesitayela, khuluma ne-ex yakho ngokuqondile mayelana nokukhathazeka kwakho bese ucaphuna izibonelo ezithile. Ulimi olunjenge- "Ngiye ngiphawula" lungaba usizo ekwenzeni iphuzu lakho ngaphandle kokusola noma ukusola - kokubili uma ubonisa okukukhathazayo, futhi uma wenza ukubhekwa ngalokho okusebenza nabantwana bakho. Ngoba ekugcineni, yilokho okushiwo. Akukona okwenza u-ex wakho akwenze ngendlela yakho. Kungamaqhinga okwabelana ngawo obabili owaziyo ukusebenza nezingane zakho.

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Asivumelani Ngomsebenzi Wasekhaya

Lokhu kungenye ingxabano evamile kubazali-co-parents. Futhi ezimweni eziningi, kuyinkinga yesitayela ngempela, ngokuhambisana nendlela 'efanele' nendlela 'engalungile' yomzali. Ungakhetha ukuthi izingane ziqhube phansi futhi zenze umsebenzi wesikole ngokushesha nje lapho zihamba emnyango, kanti i-ex yakho ingabavumela ukuba balinde kuze kube sekudleni. Nakuba ukukhulumisana ngokuzibandakanya okuyingxenye ebalulekile ekusizeni izingane zakho zikwazi ukuthi yini ongayilindela, akudingeki wenze konke ngendlela efanayo. Izingane zakho zihlakaniphile ngokwanele futhi ziguquguqukayo ngokwanele ukubhekana nokuhlukahluka okuthile. Ngakho-ke uma nje umsebenzi wesikole usuqedile, cabanga ukuyeka ukuhamba 'lapho' nalapho 'nini.'

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma imfundo yakho yangaphambili ye-devalues ​​ukuthi izingane zakho zingalokothi zibuyele endaweni yayo ngomsebenzi wesikole owenziwayo, khona-ke kuzodingeka uxoxe ngokuthi ungabasekela kanjani imfundo yabo futhi ubasize baphumelele ekilasini. Ukuya engqungqutheleni yomzali-uthisha ndawonye kungasiza ekuqinisekiseni umyalezo wokuthi umsebenzi wesikole uyingxenye ebalulekile yokuhlangenwe nakho kwezingane zakho zemfundo.

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I-Ex Ex iyakwenza ku-Micromanage Me

Ngiyabona lokhu okuningi, futhi empeleni kuyinkinga yabazali bobabili - lowo oyimikhiqizo emibi futhi lowo ozama ukulawula konke omunye umzali akwenzayo. Uma uvame ukuba 'i-micromanager,' cabanga ngendlela ofunde ngayo konke owaziyo ngezingane zakho nokuba ngumzali. Awuzange uyifunde konke encwadini, futhi awufundile konke kubazali bakho noma ubukele ezinye imindeni. Okuningi owaziyo ngalokho izingane zakho ezikudingayo kwafundwa ngokusebenzisa isipiliyoni sokuqala. Futhi uma ususa i-micromanage yakho yangaphambili, umphanga (kanye nezingane zakho) zaleso sikhathi sokufunda. Ukuze uqalise, i-ex yakho ngeke ikwazi 'ukuthola' okufunayo ukuthi ifunde nge-micromanaging. Ivele iphule phansi ubuhlobo bobuhlobo bomzali futhi yenza kube nzima ukusebenza ndawonye.

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I-Ex My iyisidakamizwa

Sivame ukukhuluma ngokuxhashazwa njengenkinga yesikole, kunjalo? Kodwa kwenzeka njalo phakathi kwabantu abadala, futhi. Izinsongo nokuhlukumeza akukaze kube nezindlela ezamukelekayo zokuxhumana ne-ex yakho. Futhi uma uzizwa usongelwa, kufanele ukhulume nommeli wakho ngokuthola umyalelo wokuvimbela. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma wena kanye nezingane zakho zingekho engozini engokomzimba, kodwa i-ex yakho isetshenziselwa ukwenza indlela yakhe ukuthi kucatshangwa ukuthi uzohamba nanoma yisiphi isicelo, khona-ke ngincoma ukubeka kabusha imingcele yakho . Lokhu akusho ukungahlanganyeli noma ukwenqaba ukukhuluma ne-ex wakho, kodwa kusho ukuzinika isikhala esanele sokucabanga ngempendulo yakho ngaphambi kokuthi uthi 'yebo' noma 'cha' kwisicelo.

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I-Ex yami ayihloniphi umndeni wami

Nansi enye ingxabano evamile yokukhulisa abazali. Futhi kuyadabukisa ngoba izingane zakho zifanelwe ukuba nobuhlobo nawo wonke amalungu omndeni wakho odlulisiwe - owakho nabokuqala. Kwezinye izimo, kungase kube usizo ukucabanga ukuthi loluhlobo lwezingxabano luvame kangakanani kuwe. Ingabe ivame ukukhonjiswa njengenkinga yokuhlela? Ingabe kunamalungu athile omndeni wakho ukuthi i-ex yakho inenkinga? Ukukhomba iphethini kuzokusiza ukukhohlisela ukuthi uzokwenzani ngakho. Futhi ezimweni eziningi, ukuthola isixazululo kuzobandakanya ukuletha ukukhathazeka kwakho ngesikhathi sakho sangaphambili nokuhlenga kabusha ukulindela ukuthi kusho ukuthini ukusekela ubuhlobo babantwana nemindeni emibili.

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I-Ex Ex ihlupha izingane

Wayevame ukuzwa ngo- 'Disneyland abazali.' Uyazi, labo ababengathatha izingane zabo ku-Disneyland ngesikhathi sesikhathi eside sokubeletha, ngokuvamile bavele 'babonise' omunye umzali ongeke abe nezinsiza zeholidi elinjalo elibi kakhulu. Namuhla, lokhu kwenzeka ngamakhulu ezinhlobonhlobo ezahlukene: ukuthenga izingubo zomklami, amafoni, ama-laptops ... Uyibiza ngokuthi. Futhi akukhona nje ukuthi ngeke ukwazi ukukhokhela okunethezeka okufanayo. Kukhona futhi inkinga yangempela yokubeka izingane ngendlela yokuphila abangase bakwazi ukuyikhokhela, noma. Njengokungqubuzana okuningi kobudlelwane obunikazi obulethwe lapha, ukukhuluma ne-ex yakho mayelana nokukhathazeka kwakho kubalulekile. Akukhona ukuthi uzokwazi ukuyeka lokhu kuziphatha ngokuphelele, kodwa ungakwazi ukukhuthaza i-ex yakho ukuba ihlose ngokwengeziwe futhi icabange ukuthi isebenzisa kanjani imali ezinganeni esikhathini esizayo.

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Izingane Zami Zizizwa Zinganakwa Ngaphandle Kwami

Enye inkinga evamile ihilela indlela osebenza ngayo ngokuchitha isikhathi nezingane. Uma isimiso sihilela ukushiya ekunakekelweni komunye umuntu, njengesoka noma intombi, noma ukungazinaki, kulula ukubona ukuthi kungani izingane zizozizwa zibuhlungu futhi zithukuthele. Ezimweni lapho isikhathi sokubeletha noma ukuvakasha kuhanjiswe yinkantolo, kufanele ukhulume nommeli ngaphambi kokuba wenqaba ukuba izingane zihlanganyele. Kungani? Ngoba, noma ngabe u-ex wakho engasisebenzisi ithuba lokusebenzisa isikhathi sekhwalithi nezingane, ukwenqaba ukuhambela kungaholela ezinkingeni zakho zomthetho ngokuphula umthetho wenkantolo.

Uma ubuhlobo obuhle obuhle ne-ex yakho, qala ngengxoxo ngalokho abantwana ababelane ngakho nawe noma yini abaye bakhuluma ngayo ukuthi lokho kwenza bazizwe kanjani. Uma kuyinkinga yesikhashana, cabanga ukuthi ukushintsha isikhathi sakho sokubeletha isikhathi kungase kusize uchitha isikhathi sakho isikhathi esengeziwe nezingane kunokubashiya ekunakekeleni abanye.

Imicabango yokuvala

Zonke lezi zixazululo zihilela ukukhuluma ne-ex yakho. Futhi lokho kungase kungabi kuhlelekile kuwe, ikakhulukazi uma izinto zingakahambi kahle esikhathini esidlule. Zama ukusondela ingxoxo, kodwa, futhi ungalethi ama-grudges noma izingxabano ezedlule. Ngisho noma kunzima, ungathola ukuthi ukukhuluma ngokukhathazeka kwakho kukusiza ukuthi uvuselele ukwethembana ngesikhatsi sakho sangaphambili bese uqhubekela phambili njengabazali abambisene nabo.