Izifundo zilinganisela ukuthi abantwana abayizigidi ezimbili base-US baye bavezwa ngesikhathi sokulwa komzali wezempi kule minyaka eyishumi edlule. Ezinye zalabo bantwana zathola ukuphindaphinda komzali ngenkathi ezinye izingane zibona bobabili abazali besetjenziswa.
Ukuthunyelwa komzali kungabangela imizwelo ehlukahlukene ezinganeni, kusukela kokusaba nokukhathazeka ukuthukuthela nokudabuka.
Futhi kungaholela ezinseleleni ezihlukahlukene zezemfundo nezokuziphatha ezinganeni. Ngakho kubalulekile ukuthi abazali, abanakekeli, nabanye abantu abadala baqaphele ukuthi izimpahla zezempi zithinta kanjani izingane.
Izinyathelo Zanamuhla
Kusukela empini yeVietnam eminyakeni yama-1960 kanye neye-70s, impi yezempi ishintshile. Ngaleso sikhathi, amaphesenti angu-15 kuphela amabutho asebenzayo-ayenabo bonke abantu-nawobazali, ngakho-ke ubunzima ezinganeni abuvelele futhi abucwaningi.
Kodwa ngo-2014, ngokusho kocwaningo lweMnyango Wezokuvikela, amaphesenti angu-42 ezisebenzi zempi manje anezingane. Cabanga ngezingane ezisanda kuqala ukukhumbula izenzakalo ekuphileni kwazo njengoba kwenzeka ngo-9/11-le ntsha manje iseneminyaka engama-20 ubudala futhi iqala eminyakeni engu-20 ubudala, futhi izwe elimpi liye laziwa ngaphambili.
Izindleko ziphakathi kwezinyanga ezingu-3 kuya kwezi-15. Futhi ngezinye izikhathi, zenzeka ngesikhathi sokuthula. Imindeni eminingi yenza kahle emva kokuthunyelwa kwesikhathi sokuthula kusukela lawa ma-deployments ngokuvamile aphephile futhi afushane esikhathini eside.
Izimpahla ze-Wartime, noma kunjalo, zingabangela ukucindezeleka kakhulu emindenini-ikakhulukazi izingane.
Izigaba Zokuthunyelwa
Lapho abantu abaningi becabanga ngokuthunyelwa, cishe bacabanga ukuhleka izinyembezi noma umzali osele ushiye. Kodwa lokho kuphela ingxenye encane yesithombe sonke.
Kukhona empeleni izigaba ezintathu zokuthunyelwa; ukuthunyelwa kwangaphambili, ukuthunyelwa, nokuthunyelwa kokuthunyelwe.
Zonke izigaba ezintathu zingabangela izinselele ezihlukahlukene emindeni ngakho kubalulekile ukuvuma ukuthi zonke izigaba ezintathu zingathinta kanjani izingane:
- Ukuthunyelwa kwangaphambili - Phakathi nezinsuku nezinyanga eziholela ekuthunyeleni, amalungu enkonzo nemindeni yabo bangathola izenzakalo ezicindezelayo ezihlukahlukene, njengokubhekana nezinkinga zomthetho, ukudala intando noma ukunika amandla ummeli. Izingane zingazizwa zididekile noma zikhathazeke ngokuthi kuzokwenzekani kubo.
- Ukuthunyelwa - Uma umzali esetjenziswa, umntwana angase abe nomuzwa wokungabi nalutho, ukulahlekelwa, nokulahlwa. Ezinye izingane zakha amakhono amasha wokubhekana nokuthola ukuzimela okuningi ngalesi sikhathi. Ukulindela ukubuyela komzali kungagcwala ukukhathazeka nokujabula.
- Ukuthunyelwa kokuthunyelwe - Imindeni ivame ukuzwa "isigaba sezinsuku" ngemuva kokuhlangana. Kodwa maduzane, abaningi baqala ukuzama ukulungisa impilo yomndeni. Izinto eziningi ziye zashintsha phakathi nesikhathi somzali esishiye kude. Izinkinga ngokulungiswa zingaba nzima kakhulu uma umzali owasakazwa eba nesifo sokucindezeleka ngemuva kokucindezeleka.
Izinsana, Abancane, nabasenkulisa
Yonke ingane izosabela ngokuhlukile kokuthunyelwa komzali; Kodwa-ke, iminyaka ngokuvamile idlala indima. Akukaze kwenzeke kakhulu ukuthi ingane isabele ekuthunyelweni; ucwaningi lubonisa ukuthi ngisho nezinsana zibonisa izimpawu zokuthinteka kokungabikho komzali.
Izingane ezincane aziqondi ukuthunyelwa futhi cishe zinzima ukubhekana nezinguquko kumadenki omndeni. Bangase badinga ukuqinisekiswa njalo ukuthi bayathandwa, bazophephile, futhi abenzanga lutho olubangelwa ukuhamba komzali.
Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi izingane zangaphambi kokufunda nabazali abathintekayo ziveza ukusebenzisana okukhulu ngokomzwelo, ukukhathazeka, ukucindezeleka, izikhalazo ezibucayi kanye nokuhoxiswa. Bangase babonise ukukhathazeka ngokwehlukana komzali osalayo, baqale ukuthukuthela- noma ukwandisa ukuqina kwabo-futhi bashintshe ukudla kwabo noma ukulala amaphethini.
Izingane ezifunda esikoleni
Ukuhlola kubonisa ukuthi izinga lomzali wangakini lokucindezeleka yilokho okubaluleke kakhulu kwengqondo yengane yengane esikoleni ngesikhathi sokuthunyelwa komzali.
Abacwaningi baphinde bathola ukuthi izingane ezinezingane ezincane, sezikade zishadile isikhathi esifushane, futhi zinezinga eliphakeme elibhalwe phansi lalisengozini enkulu yezinkinga zengqondo.
Izingane ezifunda esikoleni ezinomzali othunyelwe zaziphindwe izikhathi ezingu-2.5 ukuthola "izinengozi eziphezulu" zezinkinga zomzwelo nezokuziphatha lapho kusetshenziswe uhlu lokuhlola lwezingane. Babeningi amathuba okubhekana nezinkinga zokulala.
Uma umzali esetjenziswa ukulwa, imiphumela engokomqondo yengqondo ingase iphikelele ngemuva kokuba umzali othunyelwe ebuyela ekhaya.
Intsha
Ucwaningo oluhlolisisa intsha engabazali bayo abayiswa ngaphandle kwezilwandle, bathola ukuthi intsha ingase ikhathazeke ngenhlalakahle yomzali osetshenzisiwe. Ukusebenza kwabo ngokwezemfundo kwakungase futhi kunciphise.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, intsha yayinamathuba amaningi okubonisa umthwalo okhulayo nokuvuthwa.
Intsha ingase ibe nezinkinga ezingokomzwelo lapho umzali wabo esetjenziswa isikhathi eside. Impilo yengqondo yomzali wangakini nayo yenza umehluko omkhulu. Umzali wasekhaya onamakhono aphikisayo okubhekana nokubhekana nomzimba kungenzeka ukuthi abe nentsha ngezindaba ezincane zokungabonakali ezihlobene nokuthunyelwa.
I-Left Umzali Behind
Ukuba umzali ekhaya lapho umlingani esetjenziswa kungaba nzima. Akukona nje kuphela ukuthi kufanele ukhethe ukubeletha okungaphezulu kanye nemisebenzi yasendlini-ungase ubhekane nokuphazamiseka ngokomzwelo okuhlobene nokuba nomlingani othunyelwe.
Kodwa kunengcindezi eyengeziwe, ngoba isimo sengqondo nokuziphatha komzali osesekhaya kungathinta indlela ingane ephendula ngayo ukuthunyelwa.
Ingane isheshe iqoqe ukuthi umama noma ubaba uzizwa kanjani ngomunye umzali engekho. Uma umzali wasekhaya ekhathazekile ngokuphepha kwelungu lezempi, ingane ingase ikhathazeke futhi. Ngakho-ke, ukuzinakekela abantu abadala kubaluleke kakhulu phakathi nalesi sikhathi.
Indlela Yokusiza Izingane Ezithintekayo Ukuthunyelwa Komzali
Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi ngokuvamile kuthatha imindeni cishe amasonto ayisithupha ukuqala ukuthuthukisa imizila emisha kanye nomqondo omusha wokujwayelekile. Nanka amathiphu okusiza ingane yakho ilungiselele umzali othunyelwe:
- Ingabe omunye umzali ufunde indaba yokulala noma enze ividiyo. Uma ukwazi ukudala ukuqopha ngaphambi komunye umzali, ukubona noma ukuzwa izwi lomzali elisetshenzisiwe kungaletha induduzo.
- Khuluma ngomzali osusiwe njalo . Ngezinye izikhathi umzali wangasemakhaya uyesaba ukukhuluma ngomzali osusiwe kuyoba nzima kakhulu kubantwana. Kodwa ukukhuluma ngesimo kanye nomunye umzali kungaletha induduzo.
- Ukukhulumisana ngokukhululekile nomzali othunyelwe . Uma izingcingo zivunyelwe (futhi izingane zingenakwenzeka ukuzwa izinto ezesabekayo ngesikhathi socingo) lula izingxoxo. Ungakhuthaza ingane yakho ukuthi ibhale izincwadi bese idonsela omunye umzali izithombe.
- Nciphisa ukusakazwa kwezindaba ezinganeni ezincane. Uma umzali esendaweni eyingozi yezempi, ukufakwa kwezindaba kuzodala izingane ezincane. Uma uvumela izingane ezindala ukuba zifinyelele ezindabeni, zibambe izingxoxo ezivamile ngalokho abakubonayo nokuzifunda.
- Khuluma ngempi . Thola ukuthi yini ingane yakho eyazi mayelana nempi nokulwa. Vele uqiniseke ukuthi ubambe izingxoxo mayelana nempi ngendlela enobuntwana .
- Khuluma ngemizwa yengane yakho. Hlola njalo nengane yakho ukukhuluma ngemizwa. Yenza kucace ukuthi kulungile ukuzwa imizwelo ehlukahlukene, njengokudabukisayo, ukwesaba, nokuthukuthela. Qinisekisa imizwa yengane yakho futhi ukhulume ngezindlela ezinempilo zokubhekana nalezo zemizwelo.
- Londoloza umuzwa wokuzijwayeza . Kubalulekile ukuthi izingane zibe nesakhiwo . Futhi isimiso esivamile singasiza izingane zizizwe ziphephile ngisho nalapho izimpilo zabo zingaqiniseki kancane.
- Ungakhulumi ngokucindezeleka kokubhekana nokuthunyelwa phambi kwengane yakho. Ungamthwalo umntanakho ngolwazi mayelana nokuthi kunzima kanjani noma ukwethusa ukubhekana nezinhlelo zokusebenza. Gcina lezo zingxoxo ziphuma ezindlebe kusuka kwengane yakho.
- Yakha i-scrapbook ukwabelana nomunye umzali . Khuthaza ingane yakho ukuthi ibeke izithombe, izindaba, kanye nama-mementos ku-scrapbook engabelwa uma omunye umzali ebuyela ekhaya. Kungasiza ingane yakho ukuba ihlale isebenza futhi ihle.
- Nikeza isikhathi esiningi ngesikhathi esisodwa . Ingane yakho ingadinga ukunakwa okunye ngenkathi omunye umzali esetjenziswa. Beka eceleni isikhathi esincane usuku ngalunye ukuze unikeze ukunakwa kwakho okungafani. Futhi zama ukuhlela amathuba amaningi okuchitha isikhathi sekhwalithi ndawonye ngezimpelasonto nangesikhathi sokuphumula.
- Gcina imithetho yasekhaya ifana . Qhubeka nokusebenzisa izinqubo ezifanayo zokuziphatha uma usebenzisa omunye umzali. Ukuphoqa imithetho futhi usebenzise imiphumela eyayikhona ngaphambi kokuthunyelwa komunye umzali.
- Finyelela izinsiza ezinikezwa yizempi . Kusuka emakamu asehlobo izingane ezinezingane ezisetshenzisiwe kumawebhusayithi lapho izingane zingakwazi ukuxhuma nezinye izingane ezibhekene nezinselele ezifanayo, amasosha anika imindeni izinsiza ezihlukahlukene. Finyelela lezo zinsiza zomndeni wakho bese uxhuma namanye amalungu ezempi aqonda izimo zakho.
- Zinakekele. Ukuphatha ukucindezeleka kwakho nokunakekela impilo yakho kuzokwenza indlela ende yokusiza ingane yakho. Uma unzima ukuthola izindlela eziphilile zokubhekana nokuthunyelwa komlingani wakho, khuluma nodokotela wakho noma ufune izinsizakalo ezivela kuchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo.
- Funa usizo lobuchwepheshe. Uma ubona ushintsho emoyeni noma ekuziphatheni kwengane yakho okuhlala isikhathi esingaphezu kwamasonto ambalwa, khuluma nodokotela wezingane wengane yakho noma uxhumane nochwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo . Noma, uma umndeni wakho ubhekene nobunzima ukuvumelanisa nezinguquko lapho umzali othunyelwe ebuyela ekhaya, funa usizo oluvela kubachwepheshe abaqonda izidingo zemindeni yempi.
Akulula kunoma ubani emndenini, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ungumlingani noma ingane, ukubhekana nokuthunyelwa. Kodwa-ke, izingane zikwazi ukuphelela amandla ngendlela ephawulekayo futhi, ngosizo oluncane, wonke umkhaya ungahle uvumelane nezimo zokuphila empini.
> Imithombo
> Alfano CA, Lau S, Balderas J, Bunnell BE, Beidel DC. Umthelela wokuthunyelwa kwezempi ezinganeni: Ukubeka ingozi yentuthuko esimweni. Ukubukezwa kwe-Psychology Clinic . 2016; 43: 17-29.
> Nelson SC, Baker MJ, Weston CG. Impact yokuthunyelwa kwezempi ekuthuthukiseni nasekuziphatheni kwezingane. Imitholampilo yabantwana baseNyakatho Melika . 2016; 63 (5): 795-811.
> Siegel B, Davis B. Impilo Nempilo Yengqondo Imfuno Yabantwana Emindenini Yezempi yase-US. Izingane zokwelapha . 2013; 131 (6).
> Trautmann J, Alhusen J, Gross D. Impumelelo yokuthunyelwa emindenini yempi nezingane ezincane: Ukubuyekezwa okuhlelekile. Ubuhlengikazi be-Outlook . 2015; 63 (6): 656-679.
> UMnyango Wezokuvikela wase-US: Izingane ZaseMpi Zisebenza, Njalo.