Ukungabi namuntu ngokwemvelo kubhekisela kumuntu okungenzeka abe nesitshalo sezinto eziphilayo kodwa, ngenxa yesimo sabo, abakwazi ukuba nezingane ngendlela evamile.
Kungase kudingeke ukwelashwa kokuzala ukukhulelwa noma ukuphoqelelwa ekukhetheni ukuphila okungenakho ingane. Bangase bafune nezinye izindlela zokwakha umndeni (njengokwamukelwa).
Okunye okubalulekile, lo muntu noma umbhangqwana angathanda ukuba nezingane, naphezu kwesimo sabo.
(Angizange ngisebenzise leli gama kumuntu esimweni lapho bengenakho izingane, kodwa bona ngokwabo abanesithakazelo sokuba nezingane.)
Isizathu Sokuba Sidinga Leli Gama
Ngaqala ukuzwa leli gama ekhasini le-Facebook le-Broken Brown Egg (okufanele ulandele ngokuphelele, ngendlela.) Ukusesha kwe-intanethi okufutshane, ngathola uMelissa Ford weS Stirrup Queens ekhuluma ngenkulumo encwadini yakhe Ukuhamba Izwe le-IF.
Angikwazi ukuthi nini noma kuphi lapho kuqala khona inkulumo. Ngiyajabula kakhulu, noma kunjalo, ukuthi ikhona. Umzuzwana engikubonayo, ngacabanga, "Yebo! Ekugcineni, inkulumo engiyifunayo! "
Sonke siyaqonda incazelo ejwayelekile yokungazalwa - owesilisa nowesifazane onyakeni ozama ukukhulelwa abahambanga.
Kodwa kuthiwani ngalabo abafuna nokuba nomntwana, futhi bafisa izingane ngenhliziyo yabo yonke, kodwa abakwazi ukuthola esinye sezizathu?
Kuthiwani ngemibhangqwana enokuzala okungokoqobo kungaba kuhle - kodwa kukhona okunye okumi endleleni ephakathi kwabo nomntwana?
Okuthile okudinga ukuba bafune ukwelashwa kokuzala , noma ngokuyinhloko baqhubekele ukucabangela ezinye izinketho zokwakha umndeni ...
Laba bantu bahamba ngezinhlungu ezifanayo zomzwelo njengoba umbhangqwana ongenalutho.
Uma bakhetha ukuphishekela ukwelashwa kokubeletha noma ukutholwa, bahlangabezana nokucindezeleka okufanayo ekwakheni imindeni yabo kanye.
Yilapho igama elithi infationaltility situ lidlala khona.
Ubani Ongathi Leli Gama Lisebenzise Kuzo
Leli akusiyo inkulumo yezokwelapha, futhi ayikho incazelo ye-ironclad.
Ngalokho kusho, nansi ezinye izibonelo zabantu esingase sithi basuke benesifo sokungabi nalutho ...
(Futhi, leli gama lisebenza kuphela uma umuntu efuna ukuba nezingane.)
Abafazi abangabodwa
Umama-Ongowodwa-Ngokuzikhethela - kuyindlela eya kubazali ukuthi abesifazane abaningi bathatha.
Abanye baphela lapho ngemuva kweminyaka yokungatholi muntu ozohlala naye. Abanye banquma ukuthi bangabi abangashadile-ngokuzikhethela kusenesikhathi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bebanomuntu owedlule noma oshayisana naye manje.
Isizathu sokukhetha ukuba ngumama ongashadile akusizi ngalutho. Okusemqoka owesifazane akakwazi ukukhulelwa yedwa. Udinga umnikezeli wesilisa.
Uma owesifazane efuna izingane kodwa engafuni ukukhulisa ingane eyedwa, bangase baphoqelelwe ukuba bakhethe ukuphila okungenakho ingane.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi owesifazane ongashadile uzimisele ukuqhubeka nokuqeda noma ukukhetha ukuphila okungenabantwana, uma befuna izingane, singasho ukuthi uthola ukungabi namuntu okungezansi.
Amadoda angashadile
Uma ngicabanga ngendoda engashadile efuna izingane ngaphezu kwanoma yini, ngicabanga ngaso leso sikhathi umlingisi uMichael Scott, kusukela ku-hit comedy show.
Isifiso sakhe sezingane kodwa ukungakwazi ukuthola umuntu ukuba abe nazo kwakuyingxenye ebalulekile yomboniso.
UMichael Scott akazange afune ukwelashwa kokuzala ukuze abe nomndeni, kodwa wayenakho.
Amadoda angashadile abafuna ukuba nengane kaningi abakwazi ukwamukela. Bazama, futhi bangafaka isicelo, kepha bavame ukuqhutshelwa phansi ohlwini.
(Ngokuvamile, imibhangqwana engqingili engqingili iyingxenye ephezulu ohlwini, ilandelwa mhlawumbe ngabesifazane abangashadile, futhi kuphela, amadoda angashadile. Imibhangqwana yama-gay nayo ilwa nokutholwa, kodwa ngaphezulu kwalokho ngezansi.)
Kodwa-ke, indoda engashadile efuna ukuba nomntwana ingakwazi ukuguquka.
Bangaba nengane yezinto eziphilayo nge-surrogate ne-egg donor.
Noma bangakhetha ukuhamba ne-donor embryo (ebiza kancane kancane) noma umnikeli weqanda nomnikeli wesidoda (okubiza kakhulu.)
Abashadile abashadile
Umbhangqwana ongabesilisa nabesifazane ofuna ukuba nomntwana unezinqumo ezimbili: ukwamukela noma ukuphendukela kumnikezeli wesilisa.
Ukwamukelwa kungenzeka noma kungabi okukhethwa kukho. Ezinye izindawo azivumeli ngokomthetho umbhangqwana wesifazane ukuba uthathe ingane. Bangase bavumele omunye wabesifazane ukuba bathathe ingane, kodwa abakwazi ukwabelana ngokutholwa ngokomthetho.
Ngokuvamile, imibhangqwana engqingili ethatha isinqumo kufanele iphenduke emajensi okuthola izingane emhlabeni wonke noma ucabangele ukutholwa phakathi kwalowo mbhangqwana nomuntu ngommeli (isiphakamiso esithile esiyingozi, ngendlela). Ngokudabukisayo, ama-ejensi amaningi avamile okutholwa abantwana angase awashiye.
Enye indlela yokuba nengane nge-donor yesilisa. Bangase bakhethe noma bangakhethi ukusebenzisa amaqanda abo, kodwa uma bekwenza, ingane izokwazi ukuhlotshaniswa nokuphila komunye wabo.
Okubalulekile ukuthi badinga ukwelashwa noma ukwelashwa kokuzala ukuba nomntwana.
Amadoda angqingili
Njengemibhangqwana yamabhangqwana, izinketho zabo zokwamukelwa zinganciphisa. Kungenzeka, kodwa kungaba okukhohlisayo.
Njengamadoda angashadile afuna ukuba obaba, imibhangqwana eminye yongqingili inqume ukwakha umndeni nge-surrogacy. Uma omunye wamadoda ehlinzeka ngesidoda, uzoba ubaba ophilayo.
Labo Abaphila Nokugula Okungapheli
Leli qembu labantu lingabandakanya abesifazane abangenakuyeka ukuphuza imithi eyingozi ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa.
Lokhu kuhlanganisa nabesifazane abanomlando wokugula ngengqondo, noma ukucindezeleka noma okunye, okungase kube yingozi ngokucindezeleka kokukhulelwa noma ngesikhathi sokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Kungabandakanya amadoda nabesifazane abangathanda ukuba nabantwana kodwa bahlale nesifo esingapheli esingenza ukukhuphula ingane kungenzeki noma kungenzeki.
Kuye ngesimo, izinketho zala mindeni zihlanganisa ukukhetha ukuhlala ukuphila okungenabantwana, ukuzondla noma ukutholwa.
Abesifazane noma Abesilisa Ababhekana Nezinkinga Zobulili
Uma umbhangqwana ungahlali ocansini ukuze ukhulelwe, abakwazi ukukhulelwa ngaphandle kosizo.
Yini engabangela lolu hlobo lwenkinga? Kwabesifazane, ubuhlungu ngesikhathi sokulala ngokocansi kungenza kube nzima ukukhulelwa.
Emadodeni, izinkinga ezingapheli nge-erectile ukungasebenzi zingama endleleni yokuba nomntwana.
Manje, ubuhlungu phakathi kocansi kanye nokukhubazeka kwe-erectile yizinkinga zezokwelapha, futhi zingase zibe uphawu lwesimo esibhekene nesimo esithinta ukuzala . Lesi simo singase sibe ngokoqobo ukungabi nhlobo kwemvelo.
Noma, izinkinga zocansi zingabangelwa enye into. Ngamanye amazwi, le mibhangqwana ingase ikwazi ukukhulelwa ngendlela evamile uma ingaba nezinkinga zobulili.
Azikho ezingenalutho, ngencazelo. Kodwa banenkinga efanayo.
Uma inkinga yezocansi ingaphathwa kalula, izinketho zale mibhangqwana zifana nemibhangqwana engenamandla: ukwelashwa kokuzala (mhlawumbe ukusabalalisa okufakelwayo), ukutholwa, noma ukukhetha ukuphila okungenakho ingane.
Abantu Abaphila Ngobumpofu Oqondayo
Imibhangqwana engakwazi ukukhulisa izingane ingase iwele ekuchazeni ukungabikho komzimba.
Lokhu kuyinkinga yokufaka, kodwa ngicabanga ukuthi kufanelekile ngokuphelele.
Kukhona labo abangase baphike ukuthi umbhangqwana ompofu kakhulu wokuba nezingane angasenaso - futhi abantu abaningi benza. (Abanye baphela emgwaqweni noma kwezinye izimo ezibucayi ... neze isimo esihle ukuzifunela.)
Abanye bangase bathi "ngokuhlelwa kwesabelomali okungcono" noma "imfundo engcono" le mibhangqwana ingaba nengane "uma ifuna ngempela."
Nokho, angizange ngitshele noma yikuphi. Akulungile neze futhi akuyiqiniso.
Kukhona imibhangqwana ngaphandle lapho ingathanda ukuba nezingane kepha nje ayikwazi ukuyikhokhela. Okukhethwa kukho okuyinhloko ukukhetha ukuphila okungenakho ingane, futhi kufanele sisekele futhi sihloniphe lokho kukhetha.
Ukubonisa inhlonipho ngalaba besilisa nabesifazane kusho nokuvuma ukuthi "ukungabi nabantwana" okulukhuni kunzima ukubhekana nayo njenganoma yimuphi omunye umuntu ongakwazi ukukhulelwa.
> Imithombo:
Ford, Melissa. Ukuzula umhlaba we-IF: Ukuqonda ukungabi nalutho nokuhlola Izinketho Zakho . Seal Press; Uhlelo lokuqala (May 5, 2009).
UMendelsohn, uMichael. "Kulungile, amadoda angashadile, afuna izingane, ziphendukela ekuzileni." AbcNews.com. http://abcnews.go.com/US/straight-single-men-kufuna-kids-turn-surrogacy/story?id=16520916