Ukulindela okuningi kuwe noma ingane yakho ayinempilo kunoma ubani
Ukucindezela kwabazali banamuhla ukwenza konke futhi kube yizinto zonke izingane zabo kuyinkinga yangempela emindenini eminingi. Kusukela ku-intanethi izimpi zamakhosi nokubukwa kwesahlulelo kusuka emindeni kamasipala kuya emcimbini oqhamuka phakathi kwabahlobo nokuhlambalaza okuqhubekayo phezu kwezezindaba zomphakathi , akumangazi ukuthi omama nabababa bazizwa isidingo sokuba ngabazali abaphelele.
Kodwa nansi into-ukuphelela ukuphelelisa hhayi kuphela ukucindezela wena max, kodwa ungase futhi ukulimaza inhlalakahle yengane yakho.
Ngenhlanhla, uma uhlanganyela ekubeleleni okuphelele, kunezinyathelo ongazithatha ukuze ushintshe okulindelekile wena nomntanakho.
Izimpawu Ongaba Umzali Ongapheleleko
Abanye abazali abaphelelanga ukuphelela ukuphelelisa kuzo zonke izici zokuphila kwabo. Bayazikhandla kukho konke abakwenzayo-ngaphandle kwalokho, ngeke bahluleke ukuzama. Benza imihlatshelo emikhulu ukuhlangabezana nemigomo yabo.
Futhi ngezindinganiso eziningi, laba bantu bangabantu abaphumelelayo. Noma kunjalo, azilokothi azizwe kahle kakhulu.
Abanye bangabantu abaphelele ekubuseni kuphela. Laba bantu bangase besabe "ukuhlukumeza izingane zabo ukuze baphile," noma bangesaba uma bengabasiza ingane yabo ukuba ingene ekolishi le-Ivy League bayobe behlulekile njengomzali.
Abanye babo balindele ukuphelela kubo futhi abanye balindele ukuphelela kubantwana babo. Nakuba bengase bacabange ukuthi izindinganiso zabo zizoholela ekugqibeleni, isidingo sabo sokuphelela ekugcineni sibuyele emuva.
Izimpawu ongase uzilindele ukuba ungumzali ophelele
- Ukuzikhathaza kaningi
- Ukuzibeka icala uma ingane yakho ingaphumeleli
- Ukuziqhathanisa nabanye abazali futhi uzizwa sengathi uyaphumelela
- Ukushaya ngokwakho ngenxa yokuthi ungakwazi ukwenza okuningi kubantwana bakho, naphezu kokuthi wenza okuningi kubo kakade
- Ukuqagela kokubili ukukhetha kwakho kokubeletha
- Ukulahlekelwa ukupholisa kwakho kaningi ngenxa yokuthi okulindelekile kuphezulu kakhulu
Izimpawu ongase ulindele ingane yakho ukuba iphelele
- Kunzima ukubuka ingane yakho yenza okuthile uma ingayenzi ngendlela yakho
- I-Micromanaging ingane yakho lapho isebenza emsebenzini
- Ukubeka ingcindezi kumntanakho ukwenza okungenasici
- Ukugxeka ingane yakho ngaphezu kwakho ukudumisa
- Pushing ingane yakho ukufeza amaphupho akho
- Ukwenza isitifiketi sakho sokubheka ekuphumeleleni kwengane yakho
- Ukuphatha imisebenzi yengane yakho, njengokuhlolwa kwesibalo noma umdlalo webhola lezinyawo, njengemicimbi yokushintsha impilo
Ubani Ongase Ahlanganyele Ekuzaleni Abazali Abaphelele
Akekho olwa nesifiso sokuba umzali ongcono kakhulu-ngisho nasezingeni elingaqondakali-kodwa kukhona iqembu elibonakala lichaphazeleka ngokungahambisani nalokhu: omama abasebenza.
Kunezizathu ezimbili ezenza lokhu. Okokuqala, noma ubani (indoda noma owesifazane) osetshenziselwa ukuba ophakeme kakhulu emsebenzini uzozizwa edingekayo ukuphumelela kwezinye izindawo zokuphila kwawo, futhi. Ngeshwa, ayikho imigomo yokuzala yabacacile noma izinyathelo ezibalulekile zomuntu okumele azifinyelele embusweni wokubeletha njengobe kungaba khona ehhovisi.
Okwesibili, omama abasebenza ngokuvame ukubika ukucindezeleka okukhulu "ekuzameni ukwenza konke." Ucwaningo lwe-Care.com luchaze umonakalo ongokomzwelo wokuthi lokhu kucindezeleka kungathatha kumama osebenzayo.
Amaphesenti angamashumi ayisishiyagalombili azizwa ecindezelekile mayelana nokwenza konke okwenziwa, amaphesenti angu-79 azizwa sengathi awela ngemuva futhi amaphesenti angaphezu kuka-50 esaba ukuthi alahlekile abalulekile emini yansuku zonke empilweni yomndeni wabo.
Obaba bavame ukuzizwa benecala lokubeletha , futhi. Ucwaningo olwenziwa ngo-2015 oluvela ePew Research Center lwathola ukuthi cishe amaphesenti angu-50 kababa athi benza umsebenzi omuhle noma omuhle kakhulu njengomzali-okusho ukuthi esinye isigamu asizinikeli amamaki aphakeme ngaphambili.
I-Pew Research Center ithole ukuthi abababa banamuhla basebenzisa imali, ngokwesilinganiso, isikhathi esinezinyanga ezintathu nezingane zabo njengabafana ngo-1965. Kodwa, cishe ingxenye yabo bazizwa bengasisebenzisi isikhathi esanele nezingane zabo.
Abazali akuzona kuphela izisulu zokuphelelisa izingane ezingaphelele, noma kunjalo. Lolu hlobo lwesimo sengqondo kusuka kumama nobaba lungaba nemiphumela ebalulekile ezinganeni zabo.
Imiphumela Engalungile Kwezingane
Kukhona umehluko phakathi komzali onezindinganiso eziphakeme futhi ophelele. Ukuba nezindinganiso eziphakeme ngokuvamile kuwuphawu oluhle kumzali ngoba lubeka ulindelwe ingane futhi luyabasiza ukuba baphumelele ekuphileni.
Nokho, ukubeletha komzali okuphelele, kumisa umntwana ukuba akholelwe ukuthi uma engakutholi amazinga aphakeme kakhulu, uyaphumelela. Ukubeka ingcindezi enkulu ezinganeni ukuba ziphelele kuthumela umlayezo ongalungile. Ingane ingakhohlisa emsebenzini wakhe wesikole ukuze ithole amamaki amahle ngoba angase acabange ukuthi uyayithanda ukuphumelela ngokwethembeka. Izingane zonyaka wonke zidinga ukwenza amaphutha ngaphandle kokwesaba imiphumela emibi, imibukiso yocwaningo, ukuze ufunde.
Ukuphelela ukuphelelisa nakho kungabhekana nezingane. Izingane ezicabanga ukuthi kufanele ziphelele zibeka engozini enkulu yezinkinga zempilo yengqondo , njengokucindezeleka, ukukhathazeka, nokuphazamiseka kokudla. Bayahle futhi ukufihla izimpawu zabo ngokuvamile izinkinga zabo zempilo yengqondo zingaphathwa kabi.
Ukuphelela okuphelele akusizi izingane ukuba zenze kangcono. Eqinisweni, ngokuvamile kubenza benze okubi kakhulu. Ukuziqhathanisa kuhlotshaniswa nokuziphatha okuzinqotshwa, njengokuzigwema. Okumangalisa ukuthi ukuphelela okuphelele kukhulisa amathuba okuthi ingane ingase ihluleke.
Uma ubeka ibha phezulu kakhulu, ingane yakho kungenzeka ilahle. Uma eyazi ukuthi akakwazi ukuqondisisa Njengoba, angase ayeke ukwenza umsebenzi wakhe wesikole. Noma, uma eyazi ukuthi angeke abe ngumdlali wezinkanyezi, angase ayeke ukudlala ezemidlalo .
Ukuvumela Ukuhamba Okuphelele
Akekho owake waphelela. Ingane yakho izokhula ukuze isebenze nabalingani abangaphelele, ibe nomuntu ongaphelele, noma umlingani nomuntu ongaphelele. Ngakho-ke noma ngabe ungumzali ophelele, awungeke umenzele izintandokazi.
Ukuvumela ukuhamba okuphelele akulula. Kodwa uzichephe ngokwakho-futhi ingane yakho-ezinye zehle, zingabalulekile empilweni yakho yengqondo. Kungaphinde kuthuthukise ubuhlobo bakho nengane yakho bese usetha ingane yakho impumelelo esikhathini esizayo.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ulindele ukuba uphelele noma ulindele ukuphelela kumntanakho, lezi zindlela zingasiza
- Cabanga ngolimi lwakho . Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uvele anqobe i-ribbon ngendlela efanele yesayensi noma ithimba lakhe lalahlekelwa umdlalo ensimini, gwema ukutshela ingane yakho ukuthi ukusebenza kwakhe kwaba yimpumelelo ephelele noma ukuthi ukulahlekelwa kwakubi kakhulu. Kunalokho, cela ingane yakho ukuthi ibone ukuthi yenzani kahle nokuthi yini engacabanga ukuthi ingakwenza kangcono esikhathini esizayo.
- Sika ingane yakho ilahle kancane. Uma uthola ukukhala ngomntanakho ngoba engazange enze umbhede wakhe ngendlela efanele noma umthukuthelele ngokuthola amagama angapelingi angalungile, thatha umoya ojulile. Khumbula ukuthi izingane kufanele zenze amaphutha futhi iphutha ngalinye lingethuba lokufunda.
- Hlala emabhokisini womyalezo kanye / noma kumabonakude ezenhlalo . Ukuziqhathanisa nabanye kuyinto iresiphi yokungabi nandaba. Khumbula, ubona kuphela isibonakaliso esivelele sokuphila komunye umuntu, hhayi ifilimu lonke. Ungalingani ingane yakho nezinye izingane noma. Zonke izingane zihlukile.
- Gxila kulokho okwenzayo ngokubeletha . Kulungile, ngakho-ke ungase ungabi ncono kakhulu ekukhuleni ngemisebenzi yezemfundo, yokucebisa nsuku zonke, kodwa mhlawumbe uduma ekuthungeni izingubo ze-Halloween kanye nama-cooking baking ngempelasonto. Yamukela amandla akho futhi usebenzise ukuzwelana okuncane lapho ungesiyena inkanyezi.
- Thumela imilayezo enempilo mayelana nokuhluleka . Vumela ingane yakho yenza amaphutha futhi ihluleke ngezinye izikhathi. Khuluma ngokuhluleka njengethuba lokufunda futhi uvume ukuthi ukwehluleka ukuhlolwa noma ukungenzi ukudlala kwesikole kunzima, kodwa akusilo ukuphela kwezwe.
- Qaphela umzamo wengane yakho, hhayi umphumela . Esikhundleni sokudumisa ingane yakho ngokuthola i-A ekuvivinyweni, mdumiseni ngokutadisha kanzima. Noma esikhundleni sokumtshela ukuthi wenza umsebenzi omuhle wokulinganisa imigomo emibili emdlalweni, mtshele ukuthi uqaphele ukuthi uhlale ekhulile. Khona-ke, cishe uzogxila ekwenzeni okusemandleni akhe kunokuba aqinisekise ukuthi ufeza kuzo zonke izindleko.
- Phindela emuva lapho ingane yakho igcwele amandla . Kuwusizo ukujabulisa ingane yakho ngenkathi ihlupha, kodwa ukuphikelela ukuthi ulokhu ezama ngemuva kokuhlolwa kwengqondo akuwona umbono omuhle. Uma eqala ukuhlukumeza imisebenzi ayeyithandayo, njengebhola noma ipiyano, kungase kube uphawu lokuthi uyamcindezela kakhulu. Inselele ingane yakho ukwenza kahle kodwa ungamcindezeli ukwenza okungaphezu kwalokho akwazi ukwenza.
Izwi elivela ku-Verywell
Uma ngabe ungumzali ongaphelele kodwa uyakwazi ukuyifaka kancane, ungayithuli kakhulu-kucacile ukuthi usebenza kanzima ukuze ube ngumzali ongcono kakhulu. Futhi ukuzimisela kwakho ukuvuma ubuthakathaka bakho, ufunde emaphutheni akho , futhi uzinqume ukungazinaki kuzoba yisibonelo esihle kumntanakho.
Uma kunjalo, ungabonakali ukuvumela umqondo wokuthi udinga ukuphelela noma ukuthi ingane yakho idinga ukwenza kahle, cabanga ngokufuna usizo lochwepheshe. Ngezinye izikhathi, ukuzama ukuphelela kubangelwa inkinga yempilo yengqondo, njengengxaki yokukhathazeka noma umlando wokuhlukumezeka. Ngesinye isikhathi, ukuphelela ukudala ukudala kudala izinkinga ezinkulu, njengokucindezeleka okungapheli noma ubunzima bomshado. Umqeqeshi wezempilo yengqondo oqeqeshwe angakusiza ekunqobeni ukuphelelisa. Futhi lokho kungaba yinto engcono kakhulu ongayenza wena kanye nengane yakho.
> Imithombo:
> Care.com AmaMama asebenzayo nokucindezeleka: Iyiphi Point Yakho Yokuqeda? Ishicilelwe ngoNovemba 20, 2017.
> Henderson A, Harmon S, Newman H. I-Price Mothers Pay, Ngisho Ngenkathi Engayithengi: Imiphumela Yempilo Yengqondo Yomama Ongamahle. Izenzo zocansi . 2015; 74 (11-12): 512-526.
> Lee MA, Schoppe-Sullivan S, i-CMK eDush. Ukukhulisa ukuphelelisa njengokwenza ngcono ukulungiswa kwabazali. Ubuntu Bokuhluka Kweziqu . 2012; 52 (3): 454-457.
> Morin A. Izinto 13 Abazali Abanamandla Abazenzisi: Ukukhulisa Izingane Ezizimeleyo Nokuqeqesha Ubunjiniyela Babo Ukuze Baphile Injabulo, Injongo, Nokuphumelela . New York, NY: UWilliam Morrow, umshicileli weHarperCollins Publishers; 2017.
> Parker K, Livingston G. 6 amaqiniso mayelana namababa aseMelika. I-Pew Research Centre. Ishicilelwe ngo-Juni 15, 2017.