Indlela yokubhekana namahloni omama futhi uqhubeke nokuphila kwakho
Nsuku zonke sizwa izindaba mayelana nokuhlambalaza umphakathi. Kusukela ku-"abantu be-Walmart" izithombe kuya ku-Kim Kardashian bashing, kukhona njalo umuntu othatha ukushisa okuthile abakwenzile. Kodwa kukhona uhlobo olusha lwe-shaming e-intanethi ehlasela abesifazane nsuku zonke, futhi kuthiwa yi-Sham Shaming. ukuphawula mayelana namama emabhayisikili echibini kuya ezithombeni zamamama ezondla izingane zabo emphakathini kanye nakho konke okuphakathi, omama bahlaselwa cishe nganoma yini.
Futhi kuthatha ukuxhaphazwa komama endaweni entsha.
Akungabazeki ukuthi ukuba umama kakade umsebenzi onzima . Ngaphandle kokubhekana nemizwa yokungaqiniseki nokukhungatheka, omama namuhla bangaphansi kwe-microscope. Into yokugcina noma yimuphi umama okudingayo ukuhlazeka ngokuzama ukuzondla izingane zakhe
Kungani Abantu Bahlambalaza Amama?
Ngesikhathi unamahloni omama akuyona into entsha, i-Intanethi, kanye nemidiya yezokuxhumana, ivuselele ukushisa. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukugxeka uKelly Clarkson ngokungalahlekelwa isisindo somntwana wakhe noma ukubiza omama epakini levila futhi kungenakuvulwa, kuyinto ethinta izingqondo zabantu.
Ngokuvamile, lapho abantu behlazisa abanye, bazizwa benecala lokubhubhisa kwi-intanethi. Bafanisa ukuthi ukuziphatha, izenzo, noma izithombe zesisulu zalesi sifo sendlela yokwelapha. Kodwa uma kuziwa ngamahloni omama, kaningi ama-moms akenzanga lutho olungalungile. Esikhundleni salokho, abomama bahlaselwa okuthile okulula njengokungathi ukuletha ukudla okuqinile , ukubeletha noma ukusebenzisa ifomula , nokuthi ngabe ukulala nokulala kungumqondo omuhle noma cha.
Esikhathini esiningi, abantu abahlambalaza abanye ngezinqumo zabo zokubeletha bazizwa bengenele emakhono abo okubeletha. Ngenxa yalokho, ukuhlambalaza kwe-intanethi kubanika ithuba lokuba bavume izinkolelo zabo. Ngezinye izikhathi, omama bazoba namahloni abanye abomama ngoba banomhawu. Mhlawumbe umama ohlazekayo uhle kakhulu.
Esikhundleni sokugubha umsebenzi onzima okwakudingeka ukuba ufike lapho, uhlaselwa ngenxa yokuzibandakanya nokugxila empilweni yakhe ngaphezu kwezingane zakhe, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi le nkolelo ibonisa iqiniso noma cha.
Ngezinye izikhathi, omama badumala ngoba abantu abaqothula emphakathini amakhasi e-Facebook banesithukuthezi noma bafuna ukuzijabulisa. Noma, mhlawumbe bathukuthele noma bakhungathekile ngesimo sabo ekhaya futhi bafuna indlela yokuzulazula. Khumbula njalo ukuthi ayikho indlela yokuzwa ithoni yezwi noma ukubona izinkulumo zobuso. Ngezinye izikhathi lokho okuhunyushwa njengento enamandla-kungase kube nomzamo omubi ekwenzeni ihlaya noma ukuhlambalaza. Futhi ekugcineni, abanye abantu bahlazisa abanye ngoba bafuna ukuqashelwa nokuqinisekiswa. Uma wonke umuntu eqa kwi-bandwagon futhi evumelana nokuhlola komunye umuntu, lokho kungaba nomuzwa omuhle kakhulu ngisho noma kungenzi kahle.
Ama-Dos and Don'tts of Mama Shaming
Uma kuziwa ngokumangaza umama, wonke umama usengozini. Ngisho noma uzama ukuthumela noma yini into evuvukalayo ku-intanethi, akuqinisekisi ukuthi amahloni omama ngeke akubhekise kuwe. Ngemuva kwalokho, kuthatha kuphela okuthunyelwe kabi noma okungaqondakali kahle ku-Facebook noma ku-Twitter ukuze kuphazamise impilo yakho.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, akudingeki wenze noma yini ukuze uhlazeke. Abanye abahlaziyi bomama bayothatha izithombe noma amavidiyo ngaphandle kolwazi lwakho bese beyithumela ku-intanethi. Uma kwenzeka uzithola usesimweni sokuhlazeka komama, nansi izinto eziyishumi okufanele uzikhumbule.
Ungaphenduli . Ngenkathi kungase kube nomuzwa wokuthi akukho lutho lapho abantu bethi izinto ezinengqondo ngawe, indlela engcono kakhulu yokuphendula kumanyazane omama ukungazinaki okuthunyelwe namazwana. Yize kunzima ukugwema ukuthumela i-rebuttal, noma okungenani ukuzama ukuchaza ukuthi ucabangani, ungaphenduli. Ngisho nokuxolisa kungagcina umjikelezo womama wokuhlambalaza usebenza.
Esikhundleni salokho, vumela indaba iqhume.
Susa okuthunyelwe kwakho, tweet noma amazwana. Uma ukuhlazeka kungumphumela wento ethize noma uthumele ku-intanethi, bese uyisuse. Nakuba lokhu kungeke kuqede okuqukethwe kwakho ngokuphelele kwi-inthanethi, kuzosusa enye indlela abantu abazokuhlazeka ngayo. Gcina engqondweni nakuba abantu bangathumela izithombe zakho noma bathathe ama-shots esikrinini bese behlazeka ngalezo zindlela. Ungathintana nomhlinzeki wezokuxhumana wezenhlalo bese ucela ukuthi okuthunyelwe noma isithombe sithathwe phansi, kodwa ngaso sonke isikhathi asiphenduli kulezo zicelo.
Ungakhathazeki mayelana nokuhlazeka . Ukuqhubeka ucabanga ngalokho abanye abakushoyo ngawe akuphilile. Kukuchitha isikhathi sakho namandla. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kungenza uzizwe unzima kakhulu. Gxila kwezinye izinto kunalokho. Yiba nekhofi nomngane noma uya kumabhayisikobho ukuze ucabangele lokho okushiwo kuyi-intanethi.
Gcina umama ngokuhlehlisa. Kuvamile ukuzwa imizwelo ehlukahlukene, kusukela ekuhlazweni okukhulu nokudabuka ekuthukutheleni nasekuzisola ngemuva kokuhlazeka obala. Vumela uzizwe ngalezi zindlela kodwa ungahlali khona. Qaphela ukuthi imicabango yakho idlulisela phambili isimo sakho. Ngamanye amazwi, ungathengi emcabangweni wokuthi impilo yakho yonke ichithekile. Kukhona impilo emva kokuhlambalaza umama .
Ungafundi lokho abakulobayo . Nakuba kuvamile ukubuza ukuthi abanye bakusho ukuthini, akuwona umqondo omuhle. Esikhundleni salokho, hlala kumithombo yezokuxhumana. Akukho okuhle okuzovela ngokufunda okuthunyelwe kwamanye abantu nokuphawula okungalungile. Ungabaniki ukwaneliseka kokufunda amagama abo amabi kanye namazwi abo.
Cabanga ukuvala ama-akhawunti wakho wezokuxhumana . Ezimweni ezimbi kakhulu zokuhlambalaza umama, ngezinye izikhathi impendulo engcono kakhulu ukuvala wonke ama-akhawunti wakho wezokuxhumana. Uma ngabe ukuhlambalaza sekufile, ungavula ama-akhawunti amasha ngamagama we-akhawunti ahlukile. Ngokwesibonelo, sebenzisa igama le-Twitter elihlukile kunakho lapho unamahloni.
Ungabi namahloni abahlaziyi . Khumbula, noma yikuphi ukuxhumana nabahlaziyi bamama, kufaka phakathi ukuzama ukuwahlazisa ngokubuyisela noma ukuphindisela , ukuvuza ukuziphatha kwabo nokugcina umjikelezo uhamba. Abantu bazolahlekelwa isithakazelo kumama ohlambalaza ngokushesha uma ungaphenduli nganoma iyiphi indlela.
Hlala ulungile. Ukuhlambalaza umama kungase kuzwe kunzima futhi kuphazamise. Kodwa khumbula, lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho ngeke kuhlale kuze kube phakade. Futhi nakuba kunzima ukubhekana nemiphumela, ungayithola. Hlala ugxila kulokho okubalulekile, njengokubeletha izingane zakho , futhi ungavumeli lesi simo sikuchaze.
Ungamukeli ukucabanga okuhlukumezayo . Isihluthulelo sokwamukelwa ukuthi awuvumeli ukuthi kwenzekani kuwe ukuthi uchaze ukuthi ungubani njengomuntu. Kunalokho, zama ukwenza ukubonga. Ngeke ukwazi ukuzihawukela wena nokwazi ukubonga ngesikhathi esifanayo. Thola izinto ezintathu nsuku zonke ukubonga, ngisho nokulula njengoba ilanga liphuma.
Yenza uphinde ulawule impilo yakho . Ukuzizwa ungenamandla futhi ungenasici kukhona imizwa evamile kubantu abahlukunyezwe umama onamahloni futhi bangakwazi ukuqhubela kwezinye izindawo zokuphila. Khumbula, awukwazi ukulawula lokho abanye abakushoyo ngawe futhi awukwazi ukulawula ukuthi ubani okholwa ngalolo lwazi. Kodwa ungakwazi ukulawula indlela osabela ngayo. Beka amandla akho abe ngabazali abalungile kanye nomuntu wobuntu kunalokho.
Indlela Yokubuyisela Ukuphila Kwakho Ngemuva Komama Shaming
Uma uhlazekile esidlangalaleni, cishe uzwa imizwelo eminingi ehlanganisa yonke into ekudabuka nokuthukuthela ukuzisola nokungakholwa. Ezinsukwini ezithile kungase kube nomuzwa wokuthi awusoze ubuyela emuva evamile. Isibonelo, njalo uma uya ekudleni, thatha ingane yakho epaki noma uvakashele umtapo wolwazi, ungase uzizwe sengathi wonke amehlo akuwe, akuhlulele. Kodwa akudingeki uhlale kanjalo. Nazi izinto ezine ongayenza ezizokusiza ukuba ufike emgwaqweni wokuthola futhi uzizwe njengomuntu wakho omdala futhi:
- Shintsha amaphethini wakho omcabango. Izikhathi eziningi abantu abaye bahlazeka esidlangalaleni bazohlala kulokho abaye babhekana nazo, ngokuvamile bevumela ukuba badle imicabango yabo. Umgomo wukuthi imicabango yakho yayizogxila ezintweni ezinencazelo noma injongo empilweni yakho, hhayi ukuhlazeka okuhlangenwe nakho kwakho. Ukushintsha ukucabanga kwakho nakho kungakusiza uqhubeke uqhubeka phambili, ngisho nasezinsukwini lapho ungazizwa uthanda khona. Uma unenkinga ekushintsheni izinqubo zakho zomcabango ngokwakho, umeluleki angakwazi ukukusiza ukuvuselela ukucabanga kwakho. Khumbula, udinga ukuhlola izifundo kumama omama futhi ushiye izinto ezimbi ngemuva.
- Thola okunzima ngokwengqondo. Kulula ukuqina uma konke kuhamba ngokuya kwepulani. Kodwa ukuhlolwa kweqiniso kwamandla akho kwenzeka uma uhlangabezana nezinkinga noma ubunzima. Khumbula, ukuhlambalaza umama kunzima futhi kungathatha umonakalo ongokomzwelo. Ungesabi ukucela usizo. Ukwenza kanjalo akuyona isibonakaliso sobuthakathaka. Kunalokho, kubonisa amandla akho futhi kubonisa ukuthi ufuna ukuthuthukisa isimo sakho.
- Gxila ekukhuleni komuntu siqu. Bheka isimo sakho. Udinge ukuthuthukisa kuphi? Thola izindawo lapho ungadinga khona ukuphulukisa nokukhula. Ngokwesibonelo, kungase kudingeke usebenze ngokuzethemba kwakho noma ukuqinisekiswa . Noma mhlawumbe, unenkinga yokukhathazeka nokucindezeleka kanye nesidingo sokukhuluma nodokotela. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi amahloni omama akuthinte kanjani, kufanele ugxile ezindaweni ezikude lapho udinga ukuthuthukiswa khona.
- Thola ukuvalwa . Ingxenye yenqubo yokuphulukisa ikwazi ukubona amahloni nokujabha ozizwayo futhi uthola kuwo. Ngezinye izikhathi lokho kwenzeka ngokwemvelo uma umphakathi we-inthanethi uqala ukugxila kwenye into. Ngezinye izikhathi, kuzodingeka wenze umzamo wokugxila emva kwakho. Umgomo wukuthi awusayikuvumela ukuthi imicabango yakho ixhumane nalokho okwenzekile kuwe.