Mean Girl Syndrome Intsha
Intsha kulindeleke ukuba iqale noma ibe yisisulu sokubuyela emuva. Amantombazane asho, i-movie, ayengekho kude neqiniso. Ukumangalela, ukunyundela, nokukhwabanisa sekujwayele ukuthi intsha, kodwa ukubuyela emuva noma noma yiluphi uhlobo lokuhlukunyezwa, njengokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba noma ukuhlukunyezwa ngamazwi, kungaba nemiphumela emibili yesikhathi eside kanye nesikhathi esifushane ezenzakalweni. Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokobudlelwane, lokho kuhlasela kubantu abajwayele kuwe, njengomngane osondelene naye, noma ilungu lomndeni linemiphumela ethize kwabathintekayo.
Ukukhashelwa kwenzeka uma umuntu efaka ubungane nomunye kodwa eziphatha ngendlela engaphansi kwesikhashana noma engathandeki ngemuva kwawo. Ingabe phakathi kwakho kubonisa izimpawu zokumomotheka ebusweni babantu, kuphela ukukhuluma ngemuva kwawo? Uma kunjalo, gcina isisulu engqondweni yakho njengoba ufundisa ingane yakho ukuthi ingayilawula kanjani ukuziphatha kwabo okunonya.
Izisulu Zokubuyela Ebusweni Zinezimo Zengqondo Ezihluphekile
Izisulu zokubuyiselwa emuva kanye nezinye izinhlobo zobudlova obuhlobene nazo zithola amazinga aphezulu ezempilo yengqondo. Ngesinye, cishe banomuzwa wokucindezeleka kunontanga yabo. Ama-tweens ahlukunyezwe nawo athola amazinga aphezulu okukhathazeka . Khuluma phakathi kwakho ukuthi ukungathembeki kuthinta kanjani wonke umuntu. Chaza izinkinga zokucindezeleka nokukhathazeka futhi uma kuphakama izinkinga, esikoleni, ekhaya, noma endaweni ehlukene yomphakathi, kubalulekile ukukhomba ukuthi ukubuyela emuva okungalungile kukuphi. Uma kungenjalo, abantu bazojwayela ukuziphatha futhi kuzoba okujwayelekile ukusho izinto ezimbi nezinhlungu.
Uma ufakaza emuva ukukhala, noma ukuziphatha okuhlangene okubili okuvela ebusweni bakho kuya kubangane babo abaseduze, bebize ngasese bese uzama futhi uye phansi ukuthi kungani kwenzeka.
Ukwehlukana Kungabangela Ubungane
Enye indlela yokuhlukunyezwa ngokobudlelwane ukuxoshwa komphakathi . Le nqubo ivimbela uhlangothi phakathi kontanga yakhe, okwenza kube nomqondo okhudlwana wedwa.
Lezi zizwa zodwa zihlala ziqhubeka iminyaka emva kokuhlukunyezwa. Ukuzihlukanisa okuqhubekayo kungadala imicimbi yezenhlalakahle nezilungiselelo zomphakathi ezikhuthaza ubungane. Uma i-kati ihlangene nokubuyiselwa emuva, ingase ingabi kude nokuxhumana nabanye, kodwa empeleni, ukuhlala kude kube nesikhathi esilukhuni sezisulu isikhathi eside ngenxa yokuhlala yedwa njalo, okwenza kube nzima ukuthola nokuhlakulela ukudala ubungane obusha .
Izisulu Zokubuyiselwa Kwakho Zinezidingo Eziphansi
Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokobudlelwano, kufaka phakathi ukubuyela emuva, kungathinta nokuzethemba. Izisulu zicabanga ukuthi azikhangisi kangako, ziziphatha kabi, futhi azikhathanisi ngendlela ethandanayo ngaphezu koontanga abangenabo abahlukunyezwayo. Lezi zitholakala ikakhulukazi emantombazaneni .
Ukuhlukunyezwa kobudlelwane kungaholela ekuziphatheni kabi
Ngokwengxenye ngenxa yokwehlisa kwabo, izisulu zokuhlukunyezwa ngokobudlelwane zivame ukusebenzisa izindlela zokuzihlukumeza nokuzilimaza ukuphatha imizwelo yabo. Ngokuyinhloko, abantu abangu-13 abaye bahlose ukuhlukunyezwa ngokobudlelwane banamanani aphezulu okubhema kunabo ontanga. Futhi kungenzeka ukuthi baningi ukuzicabangela ukuzibulala, ikakhulukazi uma beyisisulu sokuxoshwa komphakathi. Uma isiyingi somngane wakho weqembu siphume ngokushesha, noma esisuka eqenjini labangane, khuluma ukuthi kungani nokuthi zingasetshenziswa kanjani izinto.
Uma i-kati yakho ingenaso isithangami sokuziveza yona futhi izwakale, ingase ingalimaza ukuze ithole ukunakwa.
Ukuhlukunyezwa Komphakathi Kungabangela Izinkinga Zomphakathi Zesikhathi Esizayo
Ukuba yisisulu sokuhlukunyezwa ngokobudlelwane kungabangela nezinkinga zesikhathi eside zenhlalakahle. Ngenxa yokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo okungaphambilini, izisulu zingase zibe nesikhathi esinzima ukuthembela kwabanye. Lokhu kwenzeka ikakhulukazi emantombazaneni, abajwayele ukuzizwa benokulimaza ngokuhlukunyezwa komphakathi kunalokho abafana abakwenzayo. Ukugwema inkinga, noma kunjalo, kuzokwenza kube kubi nakakhulu. Zisebenzela ukugcina ukusebenzisana kwakho okuphakathi komphakathi ukuze kungabikho ukukhathazeka komphakathi njengoba bekhula beba ngabantu abadala.
Umthombo:
U-Archer, uJohn, noCoyne, uSara. Ukubuyekezwa okuhlanganisayo kokuhlukunyezwa okungaqondile, ezenhlalakahle, kanye nokwabelana. 2005. Ukubukezwa Komuntu Nokuhlalisana Kwama Psychology. 9, 3: 212-230.