Ukukhulisa Izingane Eziphumelelayo
Uma nonke ningashadile, nomzali, futhi ucabangela ukungena ebuhlotsheni obusha obunzima noma "ukuhlanganisa" umndeni wakho, cishe unokukhathazeka okuningi. Okunye ukukhathazeka okuyinhloko kungase kube ukuthi i-ex yakho izobhekana kanjani nobuhlobo bakho obusha. Ezimweni eziningi, umlingani wangaphambili noma umzali ophilayo angabangela ukucindezeleka kwangaphakathi komndeni nobuhlungu. Esimweni esihle kakhulu, wena nabo bonke abantu abadala emkhayeni wenu babelane ngenhlonipho futhi nikhulise ukukhulisa izingane ezinempilo, ngokomoya ngokomsebenzi njengoba uthuthukisa ubuhlobo obuphephile phakathi kwemindeni.
Izinzuzo zobudlelwane obuhle bokuBambisana nabazali
Ubuhlobo obunempilo, obuhloniphayo bomzali obunenhlonipho buyenzeka ngokuphelele ngenhloso nesineke.
Lokhu kusho ukuthi bonke abadala abathintekayo empilweni yengane yakho baxoxisana ngokuthula nangenhlonipho, bakhokhe futhi baqoke ngesikhathi, babuyele amathoyizi, izincwadi, nezingubo, musa ukusebenzisa izingane njengama-conduits ukuze uthole ulwazi noma ukuhlela futhi ukhulume ngendlela enhle mayelana nesikhathi esidlule nesisha umlingani. Ngamunye wenu njengabazali nibheka ukukhulisa izingane njengomzamo weqembu. Uvumelana nezimo futhi uncedana ekuhleleni nasekunakekeleni izingane.Ukukhokhela izikole nemisebenzi kuhlukaniswa ngokulinganayo ngangokunokwenzeka, futhi ukhumbula ukungasebenzisi abanye abazali.
Ukusebenza okuphezulu, abazali-co-bavikelekile kuyisibusiso kubantfwana bakho. Izingane zakho zingashintsha ukusuka endlini eyodwa kuya komunye ngaphandle kwedrama. Bazizwa bephephile ukuba nobuhlobo nabo bobabili isethi yabazali. Okubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi izingane zikhule zikholelwa ukuthi abantu abadala empilweni yabo babeka inhlalakahle engokomzwelo nokuphepha kwengane ngaphambi kokufutheka komzali, umhawu noma ukuqinisekiswa.
Izingane akufanele zivezwe imizwa emibi yomuntu omdala mayelana ne-ex's kanye nehlukaniso. Izingane zidinga kuphela ukuthi zithandwa futhi ziphephile.
Uma ungumzali oyedwa ophephile, osebenzayo ophezulu, bese kuba ngesilinganiso sika 1-10, u "10". Izindlela zakho zokuziphatha nezinhloso zisekela umzamo weqembu wokubambisana.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, abazali bezinto eziphilayo bayabonisa ukwazisa ngokusiza kwabazali bezinyathelo nokusekela izingane kanye nomunye nomunye.
Ngokudala imvelo ehlangene, umlingani wokukhulumisana phakathi komndeni, unikeze izingane zakho ithuba elihle kangcono lokuba ngokomzimba futhi uphumelele ngokomzwelo. Futhi usiza izingane zakho zizwe ziphephile zithatha izingozi ezifanele futhi ezidingekayo ezizisiza ukuba zikhule. Izingane ziyakhula uma ziyazi ukuthi zinezindawo eziphephile zothando emakhaya onke lapho zibonwa khona, zizwa futhi zizwa nomuzwa wokuba ngumuntu.
Izingozi zobudlelwane obubi
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma wena noma owakwakho oshade naye, noma umzali wezinto eziphilayo ungasebenzi njengethimba futhi usebenze ngokuzikhandla imizamo yokukhulisa abazali, khona-ke wena noma u-ex wakho ungakolunye uhlangothi lwesilinganiso, uthola "1" noma "2. " Uma uphikisana ne-ex yakho phambi kwezingane zakho, usongela umonakalo, noma uhlanganyele ekucindezeni ngokomzimba noma ukuvimbela, ubangela ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo kubantwabakho.
Ukungaboni kahle noma ukuxhaphaza ukubeletha kubangelwa ngokomzwelo kubantwana bakho abanezimiso zesikhathi eside. Kuzophinde kuthinte kabi umshado wakho omusha. Uma omunye umzali we-bio ethukuthele futhi ehlukumezeka, ehlukumeza izingane, ehlukumeza umlingani omusha wangaphambili futhi ekhuluma ngokucacile ngezinto ezilimazayo ngomunye umzali wengane, izingane zihlupheka, uhlupheka futhi oshade naye uhlupheka.
Izingane zidinga ukuzizwa ziphephile ukuba nobuhlobo bobabili abazali. Uma umzali oyedwa efuna ukwethembeka komunye umzali, izingane zifakwa esimweni esingenakulinganiswa. Ingane ngayinye i-1/2 yomzali ngamunye. Uma ucela izingane zakho ukuba zishaye umzali omunye umzali, izingane zilwa nokuzonda / ukuhlukanisa i-1/2 yazo ngokwazo, ezibangela izilonda ezingokomzwelo ezingqubuzanayo.
Uma uthola ukuthi ubuhlotsheni ngo-1-3 ngokulingana komzali, qala ubuze ukuthi yini wena nomngane wakho oshade naye ongenza ngokuhlukile ukuxhumana ngokusheleleka emakhaya. Mhlawumbe ubuze umzali we-bio ukuthi yini ongayenza ukuze udale indawo ephephile yabantwana.
Ngikhuthaza ukuthi ufune usizo kumhlengikazi womndeni ukuxazulula izinkinga zokukhulumisana uma kunesidingo.
Uma uqinisekile ukuthi wenze yonke imizamo yokusebenza ngokubambisana ndawonye, futhi i-ex yakho ngeke ibe umdlali weqembu, khona-ke kunesidingo sokwakha imingcele eqinile phakathi kwezindlu. Lokho kungase kusho ukususa nokuyeka ukuphuma esikoleni noma ezindaweni zomphakathi kuphela. Umzali onamahloni we-sabotaging akavunyelwanga emnyango wakho, noma endlini. Konke ukuxhumana kwenziwa ngombhalo noma nge-imeyili. (Kunezinhlelo zokusebenza ezinhle kakhulu ezenze lokhu kube lula). Konke ukuxhumana kuqondana nokuhlela kanye nenhlalakahle yezingane.
Okunye ukuziphatha okulimazayo umzali wangaphambili noma ophilayo ongase ahlanganyele usebenzisa uhlelo lwekhotho ukujezisa noma ukugcina ubudlelwane obubi nomzali ophilayo obangela ukucindezeleka ngokwezimali nangokomzwelo. Kulesi simo, wena noshade naye nidinga ummeli womndeni ongakusiza ukuba uzivikele.
Uma i-ex ivimba ngokukhethekile futhi ihloselwe umlingani wakho omusha, kuwumsebenzi wakho ukumvikela. Uma i-ex yakho ihlukumeza oshade naye omusha, kufanele uyiqede lokho. Umbono wakho we-ex womlingani wakho omusha awunakwenzeka. Kungase kudingeke uvimbele imidiya yezenhlalo, ama-imeyili, izinombolo zocingo kumuntu oshade naye. Wena, njengoba umzali wezinto eziphilayo kufanele aphathe konke ukuxhumana mayelana nezingane nomzali wezinto eziphilayo.
Ungakwazi ukulawula kuphela ukuthi kwenzekani endlini yakho. Uma udala isikhala esiphephile, ngokomzwelo sezingane zakho, wenza konke okusemandleni akho esimeni esinzima. Izingane zakho zizokugcina zikhule futhi ziqonde ukuthi ukhona kuzo. Awukwazi ukushintsha okwenzekayo kwenye indlu, ungagxila kuphela ekudaleni indawo ephephile ekhaya elivikelekile ekhaya lakho.
Uma ngabe owakwakho oshade naye wenza konke okusemandleni akhe ukuhlukanisa izingane zakho kuwe, ke kuwumsebenzi wakho ukwenza yonke imizamo yokugcina ubukhona empilweni yabo. Kungadingeka ukuthi usebenzise uhlelo lwenkantolo ukugcina ukuvakashelwa. Ngokuvamile, ungayeki. Izingane zidinga ukwazi futhi uzizwe ukuthi ulwe konke okusemandleni akho ukuze ube nobuhlobo nabo. Gcina ithrekhi yemizamo yakho, kungase kudingeke ukuba ubonise ubufakazi ngosuku olulodwa lapho bekhulile.
(I-Caveat: Ngibhala lokhu ngicabanga ukuthi bonke abazali baphephile, akekho ohlukumeza izingane ngokocansi noma ngokomzwelo.)
Isikali sokusebenza komzali (Co-parent)
- 10 - imindeni ehlanganisiwe esebenzayo
- 1 - ephansi kakhulu, ngokulwa, engaphephile ngokomzwelo, ukuvimbela, ukuxosha
Izimpawu zokusebenza okuphezulu, Co-Parenting ephephile
- Inhlonipho
- Flexible
- Okulungile
- Ukusekela
- Umusa
- Ukubambisana
- Kuphephile
- Imingcele enempilo
- Gxila enhlalakahleni yomzwelo yabantwana
- Hlonipha, isitayela esihle sokuxhumana phakathi kwemindeni
- Abantu abadala benza izinhlelo kuphela, akukho izingane ezihilelekile
- Abantu abadala bahlonipha mayelana nomlingani wangaphambili nomusha
- Abantu abadala bakhulumisana nezingane kuphephile futhi kuhle ukuba nobuhlobo nomunye umzali we-bio nomndeni wabo
- Abazali bezinto eziphilayo bayakwazisa imizamo yomzali wesinyathelo futhi babonise ukuthi izingane
Umphumela ongase ube nawo unabantwana abanokuzimelela ngokomzwelo , abaguquguqukayo futhi abazimisele ukuthatha izingozi ezifanele. Banabantu abadala abaningana empilweni yabo abazimisele ukuphonsa konke futhi babonise kubo. Kunezinsiza eziningi ezitholakalayo ezinganeni: uthando, isikhathi semali, nokuqondisa. Bahlakulela amasosha omzimba aqinile futhi "aphephile izitayela zokunamathisela" ngokomzwelo njengoba abathandekayo futhi bazizwa bephephile.
Izici Zokusebenza Okuphansi, Ukukhathazeka Ngokukhululekile Nokubambisana Ngokubambisana
- Ukuqothula ex
- Ukuthukuthela, umuzwa wokuziphendulela endlini
- Isitayela sokuxhumana esikhulu, sithukuthele, sibhekane, sithinteka
- Ngokusongela ngokomzimba, bakha umuzwa wengozi nokungazinzi
- Ufuna ubuqotho ngaphezu kwezingane zangaphandle
- I-Sabotages ubuhlobo bezingane nomlingani omusha we-ex
- Akukho ukuguquguquka
- Awukhokheli ukusekelwa kwengane / ukulingana ngesikhathi
- Ayithatha izingane ngesikhathi, uthembisa umsebenzi wezingane futhi akabonakali
- Usebenzisa uhlelo lwekhotho ukujezisa umlingani wokuqala nomshayeli
- Awubuyise izingubo, amathoyizi nezincwadi
- Ukucasuka nokuthukuthela ngokuphathelene nobuhlobo bakhe obusha
- Usebenzisa izingane ukuxhumana, ukuhlela, ukuhlela
- Pumps kids ngolwazi lomuntu siqu kumuntu oshade naye omusha
- Sebenzisa izingane njengokusekelwa ngokomzwelo kwemizwa yabantu abadala
- I-emoyeni engaphephile ngokomzwelo ezinganeni
Umphumela ongase ube khona unesithakazelo, ukukhathazeka ngokomzwelo, ukugwema izitayela zokunamathisela ezakhiwe yizingane. Izingane zihlushwa kusukela esikhathini esiphila ngaso amanxeba angokomzwelo ajulile, ajwayele ukulutha umlutha nezinkinga eziningi ezixhuma kubalingani bomshado wesikhathi esizayo. Amasosha omzimba awo avame ukucindezelwa ngokwemvelo ngokukhathazeka nokungazinzi ngokomzwelo. Bangase bangabi nangozi ukuthi bangayingozi, noma bathathe izingozi ezingafanele ezilimazayo noma eziyingozi.
Ungabona ukuthi kubaluleke kangakanani ukwenza yonke imizamo yokubambisana nomzali ngendlela ewusizo ngenxa yabantwana bakho. Akunakwenzeka ukulawula i-ex (noma omunye umuntu), kodwa kungenzeka ngokuphelele ukwenza lezi zinguquko ngokwakho. Mhlawumbe u-ex wakho uzolandela okulandelayo. Ingxenye ebalulekile yokukhumbula ukuthi ukwenza kanjalo kuzosiza izingane zakho ziphumelele, futhi umshado wakho omusha usinde.