Abanye abazali abakulindele bathi bangathathi izivakashi esibhedlela . Abanye bathi ogogo nomkhulu ngeke bavunyelwe ukuvakashela umzukulu wabo osanda kuzalwa amasonto ambalwa okuqala noma ngisho nezinyanga. Ugogo nomkhulu abaningi badidekile futhi bahlukunyezwa yizi zinqumo. Kungani abazali bengayenza lokhu kunogogo nomkhulu?
Ugogo nomkhulu kufanele baqonde ukuthi lezi zinqumo aziyona into abazali abazenzayo "ku" ugogo nomkhulu.
Kuyinto abenzayo "ngenxa" osanda kuzalwa futhi ngokwabo. Bakha isikhathi esivikelwe sokwakha inhlangano yomndeni. Le nkathi ngezinye izikhathi ibizwa ngokuthi i-babymoon. Ugogo nomkhulu bangase bangayiqondi izinqumo ezinjalo, kodwa kufanele banikeze okungenani ukuthi abazali benza izinto ezinhle kakhulu. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uma ugogo nomkhulu begwema ukuphendula, abazali abasha bangashintsha izingqondo zabo, ikakhulukazi lapho bebona izinto ezingokoqobo zokunakekelwa kwezinsana.
Okwenza ukuthi ugogo nomkhulu bangavinjelwa esibhedlela
Ngokuqondene nokuthi kungani abazali bengase banqabe ugogo nomkhulu ngokuvakashela, ngokuvamile, ukuvumela umndeni omusha ukuba ubophe ngaphandle kwezimo eziyinkimbinkimbi. Nazi ezinye izizathu zokuthi kungani ogogo nomkhulu bangavinjelwa ukuvakashela esibhedlela:
- Umama angase alulame kusukela ekuzalweni futhi angadinga ukuphumula okuningi.
- Umama angase angafuni izivakashi uma engaboni kahle, njengoba kungase kwenzeke ngemuva kokubeletha.
- Umama angase afise ukuzimela lapho ezama ukusungula ukubeletha.
- Abazali bangase bangafuni izilaleli njengoba zijwayele ukuphatha nokushintsha izingane zabo ezisanda kuzalwa.
- Izivakashi zingaletha amagciwane .
Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi omama abasha bavame ukuthunyelwa ekhaya emva kwamahora angu-48. Ngokushesha nje ngawo-1970, isibhedlela sakwa-postpartum sihlala izinsuku ezingamashumi amane.
Ngawo-1950, ukuhlala kwesonto elilodwa kuya kwezinsuku ezingu-10 kwakujwayelekile. Omama banamuhla bangase badinge konke ukuhlala esibhedlela - kwezinsuku eyodwa noma ezimbili - ukuphumula kanye nokuphumula.
Okwenza ukuthi ugogo nomkhulu bangavinjelwa ekuvakashelweni kwasekhaya
Abanye abazali bangaqhubeka nokuvimbela izivakashi ezinsukwini zabo zokuqala noma ngisho namasonto ekhaya. Kanye nokukhathazeka okuqhubekayo mayelana nokutholakala kwamagciwane, lezi zici zingase zibe nesinqumo sabo:
- Abazali bangase bakhathazeke ngokuthi ukugcinwa kwawo akuhambisani nemigomo yabo evamile.
- Abazali abafuni umthwalo wokunikeza ukudla neziphuzo noma ukujabulisa ezinye izivakashi zabo.
- Izivakashi zingase zilethe izingane zabo, futhi izingane ezincane zingase ziphazamise, futhi zivame ukuthwala amagciwane ashiwo ngenhla.
Isikhathi sokushintsha
Iningi logogo nomkhulu bakhulela esikhathini lapho kuvunyelwa ukuthi ugogo bazoba esakhiweni sokusiza omama abasha. Omama omusha babezohamba nomama noma uninazala. Unogogo wayezohlala isikhathi eside noma amasonto ukuze asize.
Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi omama banamuhla baphila ezweni elihlukile. Okokuqala, obaba bangase bakwazi ukusiza. Abanye bathatha isikhathi emsebenzini noma basebenze ekhaya ukuze babe khona lapho kunina nomntwana osanda kuzalwa.
Abanenhlanhla baze bathole ngisho nokuhamba kwezingane zabo.
Esinye isizathu ukuthi omama abaningi banemisebenzi futhi ngaleyo ndlela banesikhathi esincane sokuhlala ekhaya nezingane zabo. Bavame ukuzizwa becindezelekile ukuba basebenzise isikhathi abasenayo nengane yabo.
Abazali abasha bazocabangela ukuthi bafuna ukuba yedwa nomntwana wabo, kodwa bashintshe izingqondo zabo lapho bebhekene neqiniso lokunakekela ingane esanda kuzalwa. Akulimazi ngogogo nomkhulu ukwenza isipho sokuma sokusiza. Ngesinye isikhathi abazali abavimbela izivakashi ezinomntwana wokuqala bahamba kahle nezivakashi zokuzalwa okulandelayo, ikakhulukazi ngoba kukhona umntanakho omdala okumelwe anakekele.
Izinkinga ezengeziwe
Lezi zinkinga zingase zikhungatheke uma kwenzeka ugogo nomkhulu ogogo oluhlala kude uma bevakashele ekhaya. Ukuba nogogo nomkhulu njengezindwendwe zendlu kungaphazamisa imindeni emisha ngaphansi kwezimo ezinhle kakhulu. Lapho abazali abatsha bengalali-futhi bengenakuzikhandla, isiteji singase sibekwe ukuphikisana. Unogogo nomkhulu bangase bazinikele ukuhlala ehhotela. Okungenani, kufanele bavumele abazali benze izinqumo mayelana nobude kanye nesikhathi sokuvakashelwa.
Esinye isici esiyinkimbinkimbi ukuthi uma umuntu omkhulu uzamukelwa futhi omunye usuke ephenduke. Isimo esivame kakhulu ukuthi ugogo nomkhulukazi omama banokufinyelela okungaphezu kukagogo nomkhulu, kodwa kungaba okuphambene nalokho. Kunoma yikuphi, u-grandparent ongenayo ukufinyelela ngokuqinisekile uzoba nomona komunye ugogo nomkhulu, enezela futhi olunye uhlobo lokulimala kumxube.
Ugogo nomkhulu abangavumelani nezinqumo ezenziwe ngabazali abasha kufanele bakhumbule ukuthi omunye wemisebenzi esemqoka kagogo nomkhulu uhlonipha imingcele. Njengoba ababelethi nababelethi babo befuna ukujwayelana nomzukulu wabo osanda kuzalwa, kufanele baqonde ukuthi kubalulekile ukuhamba ngezinyawo nabazali abasha. Labo abahlonipha izinqumo zabazali ezintsha bangase bathole ukufinyelela kwabo kubazukulu bekhuliswa, kanti labo abangatholi ukufinyelela kwabo baqhubeka bekhawulelwe.
Uma Uvakashele
Uma unenhlanhla ngokwanele yokuba nethuba lokuzibopha nomzukulu wakho osanda kuzalwa, zama ukungazinaki izidingo zabazali. Ukuletha umama isiphuzo noma isiphuzo kuhlonishwa ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ukudla okunempilo nokuhlanza kubalulekile emva kokuzalwa. Ukwenza ukukhishwa nokwenza imisebenzi yomama omusha nakho kuzokubonga kakhulu.
Ukusiza ngemisebenzi yendlu kubalulekile, kodwa kungaba yinto ekhohlisayo. Uma ubuza umzali ocindezelekile ukuthi yini okufanele uyenze ukuze usize, uvele umnike umzali into ethile ongayicabangela. Kungcono ukwenza izinto ozibonayo ezidinga ukwenza, kodwa qiniseka ukuthi usebenzisa isahlulelo esihle. Ngiyazi ogogo nomkhulu olayishile umshini wokulahla udoti kodwa bamane bafaka yonke into ekhoneni ngoba bebengayazi ukuthi izinto zihambaphi. Lokhu akusizi ngempela!
Ogogo nomkhulu bazobe befa ukuze basize ingane, kodwa futhi, bayaphikisana nezifiso zabazali. Abanye abazali bayobe bejabule kakhulu ukususa ingane okwesikhashana. Kwezinye izimo, ikakhulu lapho umntwana elele kakhulu, abazali bayoba nesifiso sokwandisa isikhathi sabo ubuso nobuso.
Ngaphezu kwakho konke, yiba nesineke nabazali abasha. Ungasheshi ukucasula. Bahamba ngezinguquko eziningi. Lokho abazali abaningi abasha abakudinga kakhulu kuyisiqiniseko sokuthi benza into efanele, futhi lokho kuyinto abazali nogogo abanganikeza. Akudingi imali, kepha izinzuzo zingaba ezinkulu.